My Silent Fear
based on S. E. Hinton's "The Outsiders"
My parents are gone
My brothers Ponyboy and Sodapop are all I have left
They're what keep me striving on
I get teased by Soda
I yell at the other
I want Pony to be the best he can
I want him to be better than this brother
I don't think he knows why
I bother him a lot
He seems to think I hate him
When I don't, he and Soda are all I've got
One night, Pony's late coming home
I pace the floors, as I fear
He may not be coming back, like Mom and Dad didn't
I look up from the paper, he's finally here
In my fear, I yell at him
Though I don't think he meant to be
So late coming home
In his eyes I see
Tears begin to form
Soda tries to stop me, but I turn on him too
Ponyboy tells me not to yell at Soda
So I turn around and hit him, what did I just do?
We all freeze, this has never happened
I try to explain, but Pony runs out the door
I holler after him, "I didn't mean to!"
Which I had yelled at him for saying, seconds before
I go crazy in my fear of losing him
Soda and I look for him, but to our dismay
We find no trace of him, so we go back home
We have nothing to say
The next day, a dead boy is found
I begin to be even more frightened than I had been
Dallas gets hauled in
He didn't do it, from what I have seen
Four days pass, and we get a call
It's about Ponyboy, he's at the hospital, with Dally and Johnny
We get in the truck and drive off
When we get there, we see
Ponyboy, all black from smoke
Soda rushes to meet him, but I stay
After the embrace, Ponyboy looks at me
I look back, and all I can say
Is, "Ponyboy."
Choked with emotions, I say nothing more
Ponyboy looks at me
As though he's never seen me before
I understand he's mad at me still, so I turn
I here him speak my name
I turn and he's hugging me
And I know he still loves me just the same
He whispers into my shirt, "I'm sorry."
I hug him back, I'm so glad he's here
I say, "Oh Pony, I thought we lost you like we did Mom and Dad"
To lose another person I love is my silent fear