ok i dont know where this short paragraph of crap came from lol
Its meant to be in Allen's point of view but i don't really see it lol
About how his love for Kanda would never be expected by him or God
i don't know complete crap really lol
Do you know what it is like to feel true pain?...I do , but no one will know that i will go through everyday with a smile on my face as if nothing is the matter and keep the scars hidden so no one will wonder why the demon hurts himself. I do it a lot you know its the only way i can feel true emotions the only way i know that I'm still alive , if i don't do this then reality isn't real and i fade away into the background as if i was never there in the first place. But i wouldn't be surprised if you would like that for me not to be here anymore. I know how much you hate me and i know how much you don't want me here you said it the first time we met , that you wouldn't be friends with a cursed one. You really don't know how much that hurt me and part of the reason that I'm here at the edge not wanting to continue on anymore do you know what it is like to be told that you are hated by the one you love every time you see them to always be looked at with hate and not with love ? I know because it happens to me every time i look at you. You know what i don't see the point in anything anymore because all i seem to do is feel more pain each day everyone believes that i am a traitor and that i shouldn't be here no more so why don't i grant that wish and disappear? Would you be sad that I'm gone? Of course you wouldn't you will probably be smiling finally got rid of the annoyance right? You know what Kanda i guess your right I'm just a cursed one someone who doesn't deserve to be here anymore , doesn't deserve to be around normal people. I should never have been chosen by god as i have basically betrayed everything he believed in , i even commit sin. Well i guess this is good-bye Kanda i wont be seeing you anymore , i guess i could never get my feelings across to you even as i stand here crying at the edge i know that you would have never returned them anyway. The jump is only the first step to finally ending this pain and tormented life once i hit the bottom only then will i finally be able to be at Peace if god allows it unless he sees fit for me to suffer for eternity for loving you. I know it is wrong to love you Kanda but i just couldn't stop these feelings of mine looks like they are gonna been taken to my grave , probably best i don't want to give you another reason to hate me. Here i go good-bye Kanda my first and only love i only wish you can forgive me for having these feelings for you.