Fai doesn't like to drink blood.
Kurogane knows that all too well. The blond only feeds when he gets to a state where he can barely stand, and even then, Kurogane nearly has to force him to. He's grateful for the instincts that Fai can't resist, because he thinks they're all that keep him alive.
One night, Kurogane waits for Fai to put Sakura and Mokona to bed and make sure Syaoran is asleep, and when the blond walks by, Kurogane steps out to meet him. "Aren't you hungry?" he asks, and Fai acts as if he misses the point even though Kurogane knows he didn't.
"I don't really get hungry anymore," Fai replies smoothly, and Kurogane only frowns. He grabs Fai's wrist and drags him into the room. He closes the door and sits on the couch, waiting for Fai to join him, but the other man simply stands there looking like he doesn't know what he's doing here. "Do you mind if I go to bed?" Fai wonders. "I don't want to be too tired tomorrow."
"Yeah, I do. Come here." Kurogane pulls up his sleeve to bare his forearm and stares pointedly at Fai. "Drink. It's been too long. If you don't feed, you'll die."
The smile that tugs at Fai's lips lacks any semblance of warmth. "Did you ever consider that may be what I want?" he asks quietly.
The ninja isn't listening. Fai's words reach him, but he won't acknowledge them. Instead, he reaches over a nearby table to grab a knife he had in case this happened, and he slices open his own skin. He sees Fai's mouth open slightly, fangs visible behind his parted lips, and his eye flashes with hunger. "I said drink."
It's clear that Fai doesn't want to, that he would be perfectly content to let himself starve to death, but his body reacts on its own, a needy whine escaping him as Kurogane grabs his shirt and pulls him forward until he's on top of the ninja. His mouth is on Kurogane's wrist less than a second later, and he's gulping the blood down with a sort of animalistic desperation. His flutters closed, face hidden by his long blond hair, but the fingers balled into fists that rest against Kurogane's thighs are as clear a sign as any that he's furious for having to do this.
It hurts. There's no way to get around that. Fai's tongue slips into the sliced skin, and more than being painful, that just feels weird. There are small pinpricks of pressure where his fangs press into the skin around the cut, not quite hard enough to break the surface.
A few minutes pass of nothing but tense silence. Fai is too immersed in the task at hand, and Kurogane doesn't really know what you're supposed to say or do when a vampire is sucking your blood. He can only watch in pained fascination, a fascination he doesn't want to have. There's a prickling pleasure creeping into his veins, and that's really something he doesn't want to feel, doesn't understand why it's there in the first place when this should be anything but sexy.
Eventually Fai starts to still, his drinking less hungered and his body less tense. If anything, though, Kurogane is far tenser than before. He's positive those sounds Fai is making are intentional. There's simply no logic to sucking like that, lips loose enough over Kurogane's skin that the blood drips down past them. There's no logic to lapping at the wound like a cat instead of just drinking the damn blood.
"Enough," Kurogane growls, twisting his arm away from Fai. The blond doesn't react much to the suddenness of the movement; apparently he was expecting it. "If you take any more, I won't be able to fight tomorrow."
Fai can leave now. It's what he's done the past couple of times Kurogane has practically force fed him, disgust with them both clear in the stiffness of his stride and the slamming of the door. It's better that way. He can leave, and Kurogane can get rid of the urge to jump his bones by himself.
But then Fai peers up at him through long lashes, a smudge of blood running from the corner of his lips to his cheek, tongue darting out to lick the last bit of crimson from his fingers, and all of Kurogane's self-control evaporates.
Fuck.
In a flash he's up and so is Fai, Kurogane pressing forward and Fai standing still in his uncertainty, caught between desire and fear. Kurogane grabs him before he can flee and shoves him up against the wall with what's probably more force than necessary, but Fai doesn't seem to mind, not even when their lips meet in something of a mockery of a kiss. The blond wraps his arms around Kurogane's broad shoulders to lift himself up, deepening the kiss so it feels almost real to Kurogane, almost as if it doesn't come from a man who hates his guts. He can taste the metallic flavor of his own blood still on the other's lips. He wonders briefly if it tastes better to a vampire, but then Fai's tongue is brushing against his own and sweeping against the roof of his mouth and all coherent thought flees. His hands slip under Fai's shirt, exploring the smooth skin beneath with calloused fingertips that rise goosebumps in their wake. Fai is tugging at his lower lip when Kurogane's hands brush up over his chest and collarbones, and his fangs tear into skin accidentally with a shiver.
Fai jerks his head back, eye widening as Kurogane's blood drips from both their mouths. For a moment, they're suspended in oblivion as each of them processes what just happened. It was an accident; Kurogane knows that, and he wouldn't care even if it had been intentional, but Fai so obviously does care and he's frozen from it.
"I didn't—"
"Shut up," Kurogane growls, kissing him so hard Fai can do nothing but pant when he breaks it off. "It's fine." Fai's eye flickers between Kurogane's, and then he nods and kisses him again, far more carefully this time.
It's annoying.
Kurogane thought the mage was annoying when he was energetic. The constant nicknames and teasing did nothing but piss him off, and he just wanted Fai to calm down and take things seriously for once. But this fragility, the constant war between caring too much and caring too little that Fai seems to think no one else can see…
This is worse.
Kurogane bites at his neck, far from drawing blood but hard enough to bruise as his teeth scrape over Fai's collarbone. The blond gives a sharp intake of breath in response, tilting his head back and grasping at Kurogane's shirt. The ninja's leg is pressed between the blond's, and he can feel the other man standing hard against his thigh. He presses harder then; he's long learned Fai has a certain attraction to pain and force. The moan that elicits goes straight through Kurogane, and he goes back to kissing the other man and feels his breath hot against his lips. His hands skip up over Fai's hips and narrow waist before returning to hook his fingers on his waistband. He tugs down Fai's pants and wraps solid fingers around his cock, and the blond's attempts to do the same for him are all but halted by the fact that Kurogane doesn't wait, starts stroking up before Fai has a chance to free him.
Kurogane doesn't think either of them had known how much they wanted—needed—this. Fai's hand brushes lightly against his cock, slender fingers all but trembling as he struggles to copy Kurogane's motions. This fluttery contact is weak and pointless, and he needs more.
His hand leaves Fai's cock, makes the blond whine as the friction is suddenly gone, and he uses both hands to lift Fai up. The mage's legs wrap around Kurogane's waist automatically; they catch his hips and use them and the wall to keep himself from falling. It may be a bit awkward, but Fai isn't weak and can easily hold himself up, and like this, Kurogane's hand can cover both of their cocks, pressing them together and dragging up and down with a forcefulness that tears a groan from Fai's lips. It can't possibly feel good to have his back pushed against the wall so hard; it's surely bruising him, but Fai looks numb to the pain, his face flushed with wanting as he meets Kurogane's eyes for a split second. Then he lowers his head with a moan as Kurogane thumbs roughly over the tip of his cock and kisses the crook of Kurogane's neck, a gesture that would be almost sweet if it weren't spiked with his teeth.
Kurogane can tell Fai is holding back, trying to keep his voice down by pressing his fist against his mouth, biting on white knuckles so hard he's worried the other man will hurt himself. "Stop that," he mutters, jerking Fai's arm away to replace it with his own lips. "You worry too much."
Fai's breath comes ragged against his skin, each exhale marked with a small whimper. "But the others…" he manages, resting his forehead against Kurogane's shoulder.
"Everyone is asleep," Kurogane replies gruffly. "Nobody will hear you." He feels Fai swallow back another moan, and when he finally does let his voice out, Kurogane almost regrets his decision.
Almost.
Fai is loud, but his voice has always had a sort of musical quality to it that somehow transfers to his moans of pain and pleasure as well. "Please," he gasps, and Kurogane isn't sure what he's pleading for or even if it's directed at him, so he just presses a rough kiss to Fai's neck, bruising hard as his fingers jerk up on the blond's cock and his free hand twines through his hair to pull.
Whatever Fai may have been asking for, that appears to have done the trick. His fingers tighten around Kurogane's arm before going slack, like a rubber band stretched too tight.
Kurogane settles into the rhythm he prefers, and it's too hard and too fast for Fai. He can tell by how the blond twitches in his palm any time he slows and how the muscles of Fai's back go taut and make him arch off the wall when he quickens the pace. But he won't stop, won't really slow down for more than a few seconds because Fai seems to enjoy it when it's too much. The blond's legs squeeze around Kurogane's waist, pressing their cocks together with more force than before, and Kurogane can't tell if it's intentional or not and he won't ask.
Everything about Fai is pretty, Kurogane realizes, and it's not really a thought he wants while jerking the both of them off. But he is; Fai looks good like this, sweat sticking stray strands of hair to his face, streaks of dried blood paining his chin and lips red, long blond lashes damp with tears that Kurogane hopes are from pleasure.
"-gane…"
He barely hears it, so faint and caught on a hushed moan, but it's still his name, his real name, not Kuro-pon or Kuro-tan or any of the other stupid nicknames the other man uses.
He's wanted Fai to call him by name for so long, but not like this.
It's practically an insult, just a wall thrown up to separate them emotionally even when they're so close physically. It makes Kurogane's fingers tighten around Fai's skinny arms, raising a hiss of protest from the blond as they bruise his skin, too painful even for him.
"Sorry," Kurogane breathes, and that's the last he'll think of that right now. His fingers are sticky and he can tell Fai is close, so he stays steady with the rhythm and pressure and pulls at Fai's hair just the way the blond likes it, and it doesn't take long after that.
His teeth sink into Kurogane's shoulder as he comes first, and maybe his fangs have punctured flesh or maybe they haven't, but either way Kurogane doesn't give a damn, not with Fai moaning into his ear like this and the damp on his skin.
He doesn't let go, keeps Fai's cock in his hand alongside his own because it's better for them both like that. Kurogane finds a perverse satisfaction in the way Fai twists and gives noisy but breathless whines, aftershocks making him overly sensitive and causing him to clutch at Kurogane's skin so hard his nails tear it. One hand drifts down, whether to pull himself away or take over for Kurogane, he can't be sure, but he doesn't let either happen. His fingers thread through Fai's and force it back against the wall near his head, and the blond opens his mouth but all that comes out is a shuddering moan, head tilting back to stare at the ceiling with his eye squeezed tightly shut.
That's a good look for him too.
Good enough to send Kurogane over the edge with a spot of pressure there and a slide of his thumb here, and he spills over both their stomachs with a groan.
Fai goes ragdoll limp the moment Kurogane's hand leaves their cocks. He almost falls to the ground before Kurogane can think to hold him up, all his muscles going slack and making his legs drop from the ninja's hips. But Kurogane manages to lower him to the ground more slowly, and Fai takes a few long, deep breaths before standing again. Kurogane watches in unvoiced concern as the blond refuses to meet his eyes. Fai pulls up his pants, fixes his shirt, and runs shaky fingers through his hair before finally looking at Kurogane.
It's pretty clear there's not going to be any pillow talk.
It takes a few seconds before Kurogane remembers to adjust his own clothes, but at least it gives him an excuse to look away from Fai. He isn't sure which of them looks worse; him with the blood in his clothes and on his lip or Fai with the crimson marking his face streaked through with tears and sweat alike. "You have blood in your hair," Kurogane points out, and Fai laughs with a grin that doesn't reach his eye.
"It's not as if it's mine. Besides, you have blood all over." There's something bitter in the easy way he says those words. "You should really patch yourself up before someone sees."
Kurogane doesn't even try to respond to such a dismissal. Fai gives him a last glance and a cold smile and takes his leave as if it's that simple.
It fucking hurts.
It isn't the physical pain that gets to Kurogane and causes him to flop on the couch, rest his head on the back, and close his eyes. He doesn't shy away from injury, and the aching cut on his wrist served the purpose of keeping Fai alive, so he doesn't regret it. Even the throbbing where Fai bit him, the soreness making his muscles stiff, and the headache pulsing at his temples don't bother him, not really. But damn it, it hurts for Fai to just walk out like that, hurts to hear his real name from the blond, hurts to see the acidic hatred in his eye at every glance. Kurogane may not be bothered, per se, by emotional strife, but it doesn't mean he's immune to it. Even though Fai got on his nerves with his excitement, Kurogane still liked the man. This is only a husk, as if the man Kurogane knew really did die when he lost his eye, just like he wanted.
This is barely even Fai anymore.