Katniss held the Mockingjay pin between her fingers, the shine of it faded into nonexistence. The water streaming through the trees passed over her fingers, washing the tiny spots of dirt off the pin as she watched it carefully. She never wore it; only let it rest in the pocket of her jackets, sewn close to her hearts. But today was different. Today, she needed its old comfort in the strangest of ways.
She was well into her twenties, and at her home in what had been District Twelve was Peeta, and now their new daughter. She was four days old, still red, but beautiful. The house had been alive with tiny, sharp cries for three days now, but Katniss had settled into that life like she had nothing else. And yet, she was standing in the forest again, holding the concrete memory of a persistently unforgettable past.
She heard a deer move through the trees on her right, but the bow grasped between her fingers didn't move. She wasn't here to hunt, had no need for the food, no reason now to kill the deer. Still, her eyes moved to it, fingers twitching. Its soft brown eyes watched her, its muscles poised to sprint away, but Katniss made no move towards it, so it settled into chewing the soft roots at the base of a sweet gum tree.
"Katniss?" A lumbering sound from the front of the forest sent the door tearing through the trees. Katniss sighed, it could only be Peeta. He was the only person capable of making that much noise in such a silent place. "Are you alright?"
She watched as her husband approached, his shirt open at the top, his blonde beard catching the pale rays of sun and their reflection off the water. "Where's the baby?"
"With your mother." He said, stopping at the water's edge, glancing down at her shoes. "Is something wrong?"
"No, Peeta." She slid the pin into her pocket, trying to keep it from his line of sight. She wasn't sure why she didn't want him to know she was looking at it, but it was almost as if she wasn't ready to share that with him. "I'm fine." She smiled at him. She had given up trying to lie to Peeta long ago, there was really no point. He was damn persistent. So normally, she said what was bothering her, but there were no words for this strange ache.
He frowned slightly, but didn't question it, taking her hand as she climbed out of the water. "I hate to say it, but she's got my eyes." He laughed as Katniss pulled her shoes back on.
"I don't hate to say it." Katniss laughed to, and pushed her hand back against his chest. "That is the only part of you I like."
He jerked back in fake offense. "If only I'd known sooner, I wouldn't have tried so hard to learn to shoot that bow." Katniss laughed out loud at that one, something only Peeta could really make her do. He had spent an entire day trying to learn to shoot a bow and arrow, and in the process had broken three arrows, lost another five, and had done irrevocable damage to the back window of their house.
The walk back to the house was spent sharing the laughing memories of recent times, but something still nagged at the back of Katniss' brain. "I'll be in in a minute." Peeta watched her for a second, and then nodded and turned into the house where Katniss could see her mother holding her daughter with weathered fingers and a gentle smile.
Katniss watched as Peeta joined them, taking their daughter into his stronger arms, her tiny hand wrapped around his index finger as she cuddled into sleep. It was a beautiful picture, one that Katniss had never thought she could have in a world ruled by the Capitol, by poverty, by the Games. But here she stood.
And, maybe, she thought, that was what was bothering her. Here she was; a reminder of a time when things had been so horrid, a reminder of times when the only thing one had to look forward to was a grain ration and turning eighteen so that you were safe. She was here, and the others were gone in the firestorm that had led to this change. Rue, with her hair pallid and wrapped in soft flowers. Finnick, caught on the wrong side of a mission that wasn't even his. Prim, gone before she had the chance to be.
Katniss grasped the Mockingjay through her pocket, watching Peeta speak softly to their daughter, to the new life they had brought together to the world. And she turned to join them, never letting tears fall. They never would come, no matter how strongly the memories of those times were. No matter how long the nightmares lingered at the forefront of her memory, when only Peeta's voice could keep her calm and soothe the shuddering breaths that wracked her body.
But the tears wouldn't come. She had grieved for a once-broken world long ago, there was really no place for the grief or the fear or the tiredness in this new world. She placed the bow back by the door, letting it rest with the picture of her father, and joined her husband, opening her arms to hold their new beginning against her chest, the feelings she had had at the river disappearing into their daughter's tiny blue eyes.
(A/N) So, first Hunger Games bit. Hope you liked, not sure where the inspiration came from. I heard Yellow Flicker Beat on the Radio, maybe that was it Read and review, I'd love to know what you thought. Katniss is always an interesting character.