Author's note: Okay, so this is complete crack. I just kind of envisioned this one day and was like, "Wow, I wish someone would write a bunch of one-shots in which the Gladers all act like stereotypical straight white boys!" And it turns out, that someone has to be me. Because I absolutely have to get this nonsense out into the world.
I had concerns about writing and publishing this because of the subject matter, and so I feel the need to include this disclaimer: It is not meant to be offensive in any way, shape or form, and if anybody does find it offensive, I sincerely apologize. With that settled, I hope everybody can find humour in these "Straight White Boy Glader" one-shots. :)
Thomas had been minding his own business in the Dead Heads before the attack. The memory still haunted him, how sudden and vicious it was. One moment, he had been minding his own business, walking in the wooded area. The next, Ben was on top of him, biting his shoulder. Thomas didn't know what to think, and afraid for his straight boy reputation, he began struggling against the other Glader.
"Get off of me! I'm not gay, dude!" Thomas shouted, but it was no use. Ben was going crazy.
"I SAW YOU! YOU'RE ONE OF THEM!" Ben screamed. "KILL THE HOMO! KILL THE HOMO!"
Thomas cried out in pain as Ben punched him in the face, straining to push him away. "Ben! Ben, calm down! I don't know what you're talking about! I'm not gay!"
Ben was sat up now with his hands around Thomas' neck. Thomas gasped for air, scratching at the other's hands, trying with all of his strength to free his throat from Ben's grip. Suddenly, he found his breath when an arrow buried itself into Ben's cheek. He thought then that maybe the nightmare was over, but that was just the beginning.
Thomas could have died on the spot when he heard that Ben had survived the traumatic event. Luckily for him, though, nobody believed Ben's story about seeing Thomas during the Changing, or that Thomas was gay. They decided that Ben must have been lusting over Thomas and needed a way to cover it up, and that he was to be banished for attempted homosexual activity. That meant that Thomas' straight boy reputation was saved- even if he was beginning to question his sexuality. He simply couldn't help it. Especially not when Minho walked around every night showing off those big, tense, toned arms...
Everybody was gathered for the banishment, all of the Keepers and Newt in place except for Alby. One vital piece of the banishment pole was missing, and he had gone to fetch it. Thomas saw Alby reappear from the homestead just in time for the event, a thick leather collar in hand. When he reached the doorstep of the Maze, Minho eyed him suspiciously.
"Hey, Alby- Why was the collar in the homestead?" Minho asked, brow raised.
Newt's face turned bright red at the question and he looked away, but Thomas seemed to be the only one that noticed. He thought nothing of it, and turned his attention back to Alby instead, who remained stoic as ever.
"I was cleaning the blood off of it from the last banishment," he replied smoothly.
Minho thought about it for a moment, then nodded as though that made complete sense. "Good that," he began. "Let's get to it."
Thomas watched as Alby placed the collar around Ben's neck, snapping it shut tight before attaching it to the now assembled pole. One by one, the Keepers grabbed hold and got into place for the banishment. There was a loud rumble that shook the ground, and a gust of wind blew out of the Maze before the walls began slowly closing in. Then, the Keepers all began marching forward, pushing Ben out of the Glade.
"No homo! No homo! No homo!" everyone chanted as Ben was pushed into the Maze.
Ben was struggling against the collar, but he was only wasting the energy that he would need when it came time to run from hungry Grievers. "I'M NOT GAY!" he cried desperately. "I'M SORRY! PLEASE, HELP ME! NO HOMO! NO HOMO! NOOOOOO!"
Soon, Ben was outside of the walls, and Thomas could only see him through a thin strip between stone and ivy. Ben let out one last blood-curdling scream, and was then cut off by the closing walls. This time, he was gone for real.