Another day at the office equals another day of sitting here and hating life. This job is crap and I hate it but I can't quit. I need it. I never finished college like I was supposed to and now I'm stuck with this low paying job that annoys the hell out of me every day of my life. Organize papers, scan them into the computer, name the file and then upload them into the system. I sit here doing the same stuff over and over again. Taking orders from a man that doesn't even know how to turn on his own damn computer. I mean really man learn something! And don't get me started on his gum chewing. No not chewing popping. I swear I just want to scream every time he pops his stupid gum. I need to get out of this place but with the lack of a college degree it makes it hard. I should go back to school. Finish getting my degree so I can get the hell out of here. Crap here comes the boss okay look busy, look busy.

"I'm stepping outside for a second. If phone rings just use my computer and follow what they tell you"

"Umm…what are you doing?" I ask my boss. I'm so confused. I have no idea what this man has been doing all morning and now he wants me to finish the job.

"Abstracting" He tells me before leaving. I just smile and nodded and pray that the phone doesn't ring because I still have no freakin clue what I'm supposed to do. Moron!

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.

Is that Lady Antebellum playing? Wow I haven't heard this song in forever. Only upside of this job is my boss let's me listen to the radio. Sort of makes my day go a bit faster.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now.

I think the last time I heard this song was around the time of the…break-up. Oh great now I remember why I don't listen to this song, brings back too many memories. You would think after 5 years I'd be over it but I'm not. No wait I take it back I am over it. I've moved on. I've had other girlfriends, few one night stands I think I'm good now. Oh who am I kidding I'm not over it. I miss her every day of my life.

Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.

Another shot of whiskey? I can sure use a shot right now. Great now I'm looking at the stupid door in front of me. I remember that one time she surprised me at work. I was so caught up in my work I didn't even see the door open. When I finally looked up I saw her smiling at me. She told me she just wanted to come in and say hi before she went to work. I found it silly since she only lives down the street from her job and my job is on the other part of town but I'm happy she did it. It was the highlight of my day but now it's just a distant memory.

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now.

Oh whoa
Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.

I don't know what happened to us? We were so happy, talking about getting married and having kids. We were going to have two boys and one girl and move to New York. I feel so depressed now. My chest is aching so bad. I can feel the pain of the break up like it was yesterday.

I remember coming home from school. Walking in the house I saw her sitting on the couch. I used to loved it when she was already here before I got out. I smiled at her but she didn't smile back. I knew something was wrong. She always had a smile on her face.

"Hey Britt" I said to her as I took a seat next to her.

"We need to talk" She said to me and instantly I was worried. "This isn't working anymore" She told me and I couldn't believe what she was saying.

"What do mean this isn't working?" I asked her.

"You know what I mean. All we've been doing is fighting lately"

"Couples fight" She shook her head like she was disappointed.

"I think…I think we need to take a break"

"A break? You're kidding right?" I had no idea what was going on at that point. She wanted a break? A break from us.

"I think it would be good for us. Give each other space, time to think"

"Think? Think about what? I don't need space or time to think" I watched her sigh and then frown.

"Please don't make this harder than it already is"

"Have…have you met someone else?" I ask her and it practically killed me when I saw the sadness in her eyes.

"I haven't cheated on you" She told me like it was supposed to make it hurt less. I felt the tears forming around my eye but I refused to cry.

"You don't want a break. You want to break up" I told her.

"I love you, I really do but…"

"Don't" I cut her off not wanting to hear anymore. "Don't try and sugar coat this. Just go"

"Please don't hate me" She started crying at that point. A part of me wanted to hug her but the other part was so pissed and hurt.

"I don't hate you"

"I never planned for this to happen" She tried pleading her case and all I did was shake my head at her.

"Brittany just go. I'll give you space. Just go"

"I love you" She said with tears running down her face.

"You don't" I told her and I can see the hurt in her eyes, the sadness which made me feel worse than I already did.

"I'll always love you the most" Is the last thing she told me when she walked out the house.

I couldn't stop crying that day. Part of the reason for not finishing college was because I was too depressed to do anything after we broke up. It's like I fell into this dark black hole that I didn't think I was going to be able to get out of. I almost lost myself.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
Well I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now
I just need you now.
Oh baby I need you now.

She's still with him, Sam. The guy she left me for. They've been together for 4 years now. Here I am struggling trying to find someone to love because no matter whom I come across they will never be as good her. No one will ever compare. She was the love of my life. My world and now that love and world is gone and I'm never going to get it back. I really hate Sam. What does he give her that I couldn't? What was I or am I lacking? I gave her everything. Guess it wasn't enough. I hate this. I hate all of this. I want her back. I want to come home after work and see her waiting for me with that sweet smile on her face. I want to kiss her on the lips and tell her I love her. I want her face to be the last one I see when I go to bed and when I wake up. I want it all back. Too bad she doesn't want it back.

"Santana, Santana"

"Yeah?" I snap out of my daze and see my boss standing in front of me.

"Did they call?" Did who call? I'm confused again. Oh right those people my boss was waiting for.

"No. No one's called" I answer him. He smiles at me and goes to his desk. I realize a different song is playing on the radio too. I really hate that Lady Antebellum I need to remind myself to change the channel when it comes on next time. Guess I should do some work today instead of day dream about depressing things.

POP POP POP POP

Oh my god is my boss popping his gum again? Kill me now!