Save me from the pain: remake
Hey guys and gals, remember me? A couple of years ago I wrote a fanfiction called "save me from the pain" whilst a lot of the readers found it an enjoyable read, there were a few who did not and as such the story got removed. This is my second attempt at the story now that I have a little bit more experience at fanfiction writing. I'm not asking you guys to love this story but I am suggesting that if you do not like it then stop reading.
This version will be based on the old one for those of you who read and liked it, but I feel it will be greatly improved.
Please, please, please review, it really does mean a lot to me and it will help me improve.
Right so on with the story, I hope to see some familiar names on my reviews list ;) and lots of new ones :D
Sydney Drew stepped into the shower and cringed as the hot water cascaded over her tired, swollen muscles. Training had been brutal today, the commander had decided to knock it up a hundred notches as he felt that the final battle was drawing nearer. Sydney lathered herself in her rich, expensive body wash relaxing as the room filled with the smell of roses and vanilla. As she ran the soapy bubbles down her arms she paused. Across each wrist, like a large beaded bracelet, were green-yellow dots. Fading bruises. An image flashed through her head...
Sydney struggled to get out of his grasp, the smell of alcohol from his breath made her retch. She kicked him in the stomach, hard, and ran for it. The sound of glass smashing behind her made her heart speed up and then she felt a large weight on her back and she was falling forward. She spun around and aimed a punch towards his head but he caught her wrist and squeezed. His knees were pressing heavily into her thighs and she threw another punch with her left hand. Again he caught her wrist and pinned them both to the sides of her head. Her heart pounded violently as he leaned in towards her, his green eyes wild and angry. He tilted his head so he could whisper in her ear.
"Throw a stunt like this again and I will kill her, do you understand me?" Sydney just nodded. The guy on top of her leaned in once more and planted a heavy, rough kiss to her mouth, forcing his tongue inside. In a normal circumstance she would have bit him but the lingering threat had her weak and the pain in her legs was becoming unbearable. He soon retreated and released her.
"Now, be a good girl and clean up this mess. Oh and do not be late next time, tardiness means pain" Sydney lay on the floor for a few more moments and waited until she heard the slam of his bedroom door, followed by a muffled moan and the sound of flesh meeting flesh.
Sydney was startled out of her flashback when Z knocked on the bathroom door.
"Come on Princess there are other people who need to shower you know" Sydney sighed and stepped out of the shower, wrapping herself in a big pink towel. She opened the door and met a very dirty Z, her room mate.
"It's about time, oh Sky and the others are in the mess hall waiting for you"
"Thanks Z, I'll see you down there?" Z nodded and went to take a shower. Sydney dried and dressed, pulling her uniform jacket down over her wrists. When she was done she sat on her bed and opened the bedside draw. Inside laid a black and white picture of two teenage girls, both with long light hair and bright eyes. They had their arms wrapped around each other and huge smiles on their faces.
Sydney gently stroked the picture and whispered softly.
"It'll be over soon Michelle, he won't hurt us for much longer. I will save you sis" Closing the draw she pulled her tired frame off the bed and plastered a smile on her face before heading down to the mess hall.
Authors note: Right i am calling this a trial chapter. If you guys read it, like it and review it I will continue with this story, if not then I will end it. So let me know what you think and if your interested in more. Ok so bye :D xxxxxxxxxxxx