The Deadbeats By: rock-the-casbah18
Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Basic details and some main ideas are hers, too. But the plot is mine.
A/N: I've read a lot of fics. I mean, a lot of fics. One type of story that keeps turning up is a band story. I've read at least ten stories in which there is a Slytherin band, often with Draco Malfoy as a lead singer, and Pansy acting as some androgynous drummer. So, I've become inspired. This fic is, at most, a crack-fic, which makes no sense and has no particular direction. But I love music with a diehard passion, so I think that this story may turn out better than expected. Hope you love it!
Chapter One: In which Blaise gets involved in something he'd rather not.
"What sane seventeen year-old male wouldn't want loads of screaming girls, willing to lift up their tops, fawning over them? Exactly what is your problem Zabini?" Draco Malfoy stood in front of Blaise Zabini, arms crossed over his chest, head tilted to one side, lips in a thin line. In other words, Draco was acting like a diva. Or a divo. Whatever you called a boy that was acting like a spoiled princess (or prince, in this case.)
"Jesus Christ, Draco! I just don't want to. It's N.E.W.T. year and I'll have to get a lot of extra studying in. Plus, I don't need to be in a band to get girls to show me their tits," Blaise replied, smirking at his own wit. Draco raised a pale eyebrow at his best mate, making a quick decision. Walking over to where Blaise's pitch-black bass guitar rested on its stand, Draco grabbed it by the neck, and began walking down the dormitory steps, in the direction of the common room.
"And just what the bloody hell do you think you're doing," Blaise asked incredulously, stalking across the room to where Draco stood in the doorway.
"Well, if you won't join my band and put your talent to use, I'll just have to find someone else to use this beautiful instrument," Draco said smugly, too smugly, and continued his way down the stone staircase.
"How-but- wait up, Draco! You can't just give my guitar away! It's mine!" Blaise stormed down the stairs after Draco, racing to get his guitar back. "I'll join your fuckin' band, Malfoy! I'll join! Just gimme my fuckin' guitar back!"
From farther down the stairwell, an amused voice reached Blaise's ears. "Has anyone ever told you how easy you are, Zabini?"
"Only your mom, Mal-ferret!"
XxXxX
"String Cheese Incident? Are you fuckin' kidding me?" Blaise lounged on the emerald (oddly enough) couch in the Slytherin common room, staring at his mates, and fellow band-members, as if they were absolutely stupid.
"It's the name of a muggle band anyway. And Christ, Blaise- it isn't like you've come up with a better name. I mean, Stolen Dignity? What the bleedin' hell is that supposed to mean," Millicent Bulstrode bit out, glaring at her oldest friend angrily. In the past couple of hours, Blaise, Millicent, Draco and surprisingly Pansy Parkinson, had been arguing over band names. Hours, arguing over band names. And it was borderline ridiculous.
"Erm, how 'bout something like… Eggplant Redemption," Pansy said quietly. She had been quiet for most of the 'meeting', sitting at a wooden table, humming through the words of a newly written song. It was amazing, how music could posses the usually bossy Slytherin. As soon as an idea for a song hatched in her head, Pansy would convert into her mute artist mode and zone out from the real world, just until her song was finished.
"Okay, I take back what I said about Blaise having the stupidest idea. Pansy, you just now took that title."
"I'm a genius. I'm a Malfoy and a genius and a hell of a lot more creative than you lot."
"What is it Draco, oh mighty one, ruler of my universe?"
"Ew, Zabini. Homo, much? Not that there's anything wrong with it, but- just no. I've got the name for the band."
"Then spill it, fuckface!"
"For a girl Mil, you certainly have a sailor's mouth. And the name would be Relative Lunacy. Go ahead, tell me I'm brilliant."
"I take back what I said about you being a fuckface." "Works for me. And I'm not gay!" "I think it'll fit my songs."
Draco slumped down on the couch, Blaise angrily moving his feet to avoid getting them smushed. The platinum-haired, pompous git was far to conceited for his own good. Soon enough, he would be ordering the others around, telling them to fetch this, fetch that, do this, fix that. Ah, well, it wouldn't be that much different from how things normally were. Blaise would just have to slug him harder now.
"As much as I hate to admit it, you are brilliant Draco. Relative Lunacy has such a nice ring to it; I can definitely hear them chanting our name." Millie plunked down into a leather wingback chair, picking up her teal electric guitar, idly plucking away at the six strings.
"Yeah, the idea is good. I can deal with that band name. But there's one major problem, you guys."
"And girls, Zabini. What would that be," Pansy asked, once again surfacing from where she was currently drowning herself in her song-writing.
"We have no set songs. Oh, and we don't have any music. And we don't even know if we can work well together! Which means we have three major problems!" The Italian Slytherin sat down again- he had stood up menacingly during his rant- and cursed in his native language under his breath. "I shouldn't have done this. I should've just let Draco have my fuckin' guitar, went back to studying, and just gotten on with my life. But no, I had to go and join up in this, this thing that you can hardly call a band. I'm out for the night."
Blaise sprung up from the couch and trudged towards the boys' dorm. Yeah, this band thing, it was probably a stupid idea. And Blaise didn't want to stick around and find out.
XxXxX
But two days, much persuasion, and a whole sack of coffee beans later, and Blaise was back in the band. Not that he had really ever left anyway. But the others could tell he was looking forward to being in this thing, not just dreading it, or treating it as an occupation.
"Sex, drugs and rock and roll," Draco had said to Blaise, right after he had persuaded Blaise into coming down for a band practice. "But especially the sex."
A/N: I know it's short! If I get positive feedback, I will most definitely continue. Well, I'll continue anyway, just for the hell of it. Next chapter will include: getting a gig, HermionexBlaise lovin' (though it probably won't be smut…yet), and a PMSing Draco. Review? For me?