Disclaimer: Merlin is owned by the BBC, et al. Yugioh is owned by its creators and everyone else who owns it. Yugioh the Abridged Series is owned by LittleKuriboh. I'm making no money off of this.

Author's Note: This idea popped into my head and I just had to write it. Its a total crackfic. You have been warned.

Of Evil Unmatched

By Enilas

It had taken Morgana a month, but she had finally done it.

It had all started after a particularly convoluted scheme of hers – seventh that month – had once again failed to rid her of Arthur, and as always, it was the fault of that never to be sufficiently damned servant of his, Merlin. How that hapless, bumbling idiot managed to ruin everything time and time again made no sense to her.

She had returned to her lair, furious, and immediately began to consult her tomes of magic for a way to finally rid herself of the nuisance that was Merlin once and for all. It was there that she had come across an old ritual, one that promised to summon a creature of evil unmatched. So evil was this creature, it promised, that her enemies would never be a concern to her again.

So when the final part of the ritual was complete she was expecting anything but what she actually got. She had been expecting something powerful. Something that she could dispatch against Merlin to rid herself of his meddling once and for all.

Instead what had appeared in the summoning circle was...a bear.

Well, not an actual bear. Some kind of fake one. It was maybe the size of a newborn child, at best, and no only was it utterly useless, but it was dressed...a fake bear that wasn't even the size of a bear and wearing clothes. Green overalls with a yellow star on the front.

In her anger, Morgana threw the book that had contained the ritual across the room,

"How is this...thing supposed to rid me of Merlin!" She demanded angrily, though she expected no answer.

But she did get an answer. A deep, scratchy voice came from seeming nowhere.

"I don't know who this Merlin is, but why don't you stab him in the face with a knife?"

"What?" She looked around. There was no one anywhere in the room with her. Although...now that she thought about it, perhaps it wasn't such an bad idea. She had been trying complex plan after complex plan to kill Arthur, and look where they had gotten her? Whereas something simple...like a knife to the face, would not be anything Merlin could somehow screw up his way into stopping. And while she was at it, she could stab Arthur in the face as well. Rid herself of their annoying, smug smirks once and for all. Though...there was the question, still, of who had in fact just spoke.

"Your death will not come swiftly! For summoning me you shall suffer the unending wrath of Beelzebub!"

Morgana wasn't one to be scared by threats from the disembodied, and she wasn't now. She looked at the fake bear. Was it somehow talking? She walked towards it.

"Touch me and die, Unclean one!" She heard. The bear had not moved at all. How could it, it was inanimate. "The maggots of hell are waiting to feast on your corpse!"

Somehow, whatever was speaking was linked to the bear. Well, she had a solution to that. With a flick of her hand, the bear was in flames. As it turned to ash she heard a parting remark, its meaning eluding her for the rest of her life: "Your mother plays card games in hell!"