Hey. This...ha ha, this. Well, I was laying on my bed and I imagined Tamaki talking to a shrink going...well, you'll see. You'll probably realize which one it is when you read it. :) That one line was the inspiration for this. Sit back and enjoy. My first attempt at humor. This isn't that good, I only wrote it for that one line, so bear with me.

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Kyoya sat at his desk in front of his computer in his office in, what he wished was his, Music Room 3. Considering that it was unused and Kyoya was the responsible Vice President (and the only Host Club member that put any thought into the well-being of it), this Room practically was his. Now, what he was doing at his desk was no different than any other day. Writing profits and loses, gains and falls, keeping tabs on Haruhi's debt, buying costumes and putting money into the Club's operations...he was normal, and just for today, he was relatively bored. That is, until there was a shy knocking at his door.

Kyoya turned around curiously. "Yes? ...Who is it?"

"Me. Can I come in? I need to talk to you. Really bad."

"Uh..." Luckily for Kyoya, the voice was exceedingly familiar and he recognized it right away. He saved the current document on his computer before turning off the screen. "Yes. Come in."

Tamaki quietly opened the door, glanced around behind him, and from expectations, it was safe. He sighed, closing the door, and sat on the couch near the wall opposite of his best friend, who still remained in his office chair.

"What's wrong?" Kyoya asked, with his ledger on his lap, ready to take notes.

"...Put that away." Tamaki demanded, motioning to the ledger, glaring at it.

"I swear to you, it is only used for my private viewing."

Tamaki scoffed at this thought, but ignored it. What he wanted was much more important anyways. "What I am about to tell you..." he sighed. "You must not tell anyone else."

"I promise." he nodded.

"No! That's not good enough!" Tamaki leaned forward and extended his pinkie finger. "Pinkie promise me! If you don't or if you do, and you tell, I will never forgive you."

Kyoya stared at his foolish friend's hand blankly. "Uh..."

"Now!" He stretched his arm further. Kyoya complied unenthusiastically.

"Can we continue?"

"Yes. We can. So..." Tamaki sighed again, falling back, letting his head rest on the armrest and his feet dangle off the other end of the couch. He was just a little too tall. This particular couch was meant for two people to sit, not for one to lay. "There's this girl..."

'Mm-hmm..." Instantly, Kyoya knew where this conversation was headed.

"And I like her. And she ignores me. And I don't know what to do." He glanced over at him. "What do I do?"

"Well, first of all..."

"Yes?"

"...First of all, if I knew who this girl was, I could help your situation. And as your best friend, I believe I deserve to know who has your heart." Kyoya was going to make Tamaki admit his feelings for Haruhi to him by conversations end. And in detail, nonetheless.

"Good point. But...why don't you guess? It'll be funner. It'll be a game." He laughed to himself, somewhat...unintelligently. "I like games."

Ugh. "Hmm..." So maybe he wouldn't get him to say directly, but his reaction would be priceless to the fact that he figured it out. "Haruhi?" he smiled smugly. Tamaki's eyes widened and he sat up.

"You can't be serious!" It was quiet. His expression softened into one of hurt after a second or two. "...Is it that obvious?"

"I'm afraid so."

Tamaki groaned, falling back once again. "Do you think she realized it already?"

"Probably not. You're both dense when it comes to relationships."

"...H-Hey, t-that hurts..." he whined.

"It was only said with the best intentions."

"I try really hard and nothing works."

"Then stop trying."

"But what if she forgets about me?"

"Trust me, she won't."

"B-B-But, what if, in my absence, she..she starts to fall for..for...one of them."

"Them?" Kyoya questioned.

"You know! Them! The, the, the, the...the twins." The last two words he uttered had a certain hint of hatred in their tone. When Kyoya looked into Tamaki's eyes, he saw that his left eye was twitching. Ah, that's just great, he thought.

"Trust me, she won't. If Haruhi hasn't given into your magnificent charms yet, I don't think she'll give in to theirs."

"I know!" Tamaki said, flinging his arms into the air.

A silence played it's magnificent melody between the two. Kyoya looked at him expectantly, though he just laid there, supposedly deep in thought. While waiting was only boring him more, he decided to review his notes, still expecting Tamaki to say something.

More silence until...

"...Hey. You said you would 'help my situation' if you knew that it was Haruhi. You're not helping!" he snapped his fingers to get Kyoya's attention. He froze. Not intending to help at all, Tamaki had pointed out his one mistake. Though he soon regained his composure, laughing to his friend.

"You really are a fool. How can I help if I don't know how you truly feel about her?" he smiled. Tamaki didn't notice the 'devil's smile.'

"Ah, that would help!" he glanced at the door, beginning to fidget with his hands. "Um...i-is it locked? I-I can't see it."

He followed his gaze to the object of interest. The lock was vertical, meaning it wasn't. "Yes." he confirmed.

"Phew, that's good. How embarrassing if someone walked in."

"Like one of them?"

"Them..." Tamaki growled, being sidetracked once again. Soon enough, luckily, he stopped and his eyes widened. "Quit distracting me!" he complained.

"Forgive me." Kyoya tipped his head forward, mumbling to himself, still reviewing notes.

"Wish granted. ...Now, what were we talking about?"

"Your feelings for Haruhi."

"Ah, yes. Well...Uh..." A good three minutes, maybe more passed, while he lay there, occasionally "Hmm"-ing and sighing. "...Kyoya...Mom...I think we've stumbled upon a problem. I know I like her...but I'm speechless." Tamaki crossed his ankles. "Is that bad?"

"Not exactly."

"Not exactly? What's that supposed to mean?"

'It means that you like her more than you think. And besides, since I am portraying the role of the shrink, you are the patient. I ask questions, and you answer."

"Yes, sir." Tamaki mumbled to himself. Another long pause. "Where were we again?"

"Tch." Kyoya said under his breath, but faked a smile. "You were speechless about Haruhi and I told you that you like her more than you think. You're using my time so hurry up."

"Blah blah blah." Tamaki made mocking, talking hand movements, but soon let his entire arm go limp and hang over the couch. Basically, he was a sprawled mess. "There's too much to say about her and I don't know where to start."

"Then start about what you like best about her."

He thought for a moment before forming a distant smile. "Everything." he muttered to himself, starting to blush. "Her smile, her short little haircut, her entire personality...those are just a few things that come to mind."

"Hmm. Anything else?"

"Yes."

"Do tell."

"But...but...but..." he stammered, turning his head away. "It's embarrassing."

"But...but...but..." Kyoya mimicked, feeling childish. "I'm your best friend." he smirked.

"Nevertheless! It's still embarrassing!"

The both gave a frustrated sigh, as the silence sprouted once again. Kyoya flipped the current page behind his ledger and started a new one. He began writing, occasionally looking up to Tamaki, wondering if he'd moved. Not at all. He'd sigh, and lightly shake his head, and resume writing.

After another good five minutes of Tamaki supposedly being dormant and thoughtful, he finally pipped up.

"Am I hot?"

"...Yes. You're very sexy." Kyoya said, writing still. He hadn't bothered to spare a glance.

"I know!" Tamaki shouted, flinging his arms into the air, once more. "But I'm not good enough for her! Is she THAT blind? I think not! How long is this gonna take!"

"I'm not sure. Questions about love should be answered on your own."

'I'm not in love with her. I like her."

"Tamaki." Kyoya set down his pen and looked up, while the blonde grimaced. This was not good. "You keep telling yourself that, but one day, she'll find out. One way or another, she is going to find out. You have...what, two years until graduation? Then she'll have one year with the twins, with them. All alone. Are you sure she should remain unknowing to the fact that you have feelings for her?"

"NO!" Tamaki shouted, immediately standing up. "I will not stand for that!" Looking back, my words playing out that way like that is kinda ironic. There was a pause as he raised his eyebrows and his eyes widened. Glaring, he pointed to Kyoya. "And you! You're filling my head with assumptions and accusations and lies, lies, lies! I should never even considered asking you, of all people, for advice! I'd rather go straight to Haruhi! Or the twins! ...I take that back. Not them. But Mori...or Hunny! You...you are evil."

Kyoya pushed up his glasses. "One, I only speak the truth. Two, that's rather rude. Three, are you just realizing this?"

"...Not exactly!" He exclaimed confidently, though his answer labeled him a fool. Again. "...Oh...this is ridiculous." he raised his hand to his forehead, and moaned. "I...I will come back later."

Tamaki spun on his heel, and walked out, slamming the door behind him. His faint mumbles could still be heard as he stumbled out into the Host Club.

"Milord!"

"Is something wrong, Milord?"

"You...You...You go away now."

"Milord?"

"Now!"

"Yes-sir!"

"Good choice. You'll be needing it." Kyoya called quietly. He perfectly tore out the sheet of paper and started to transfer the words from paper to computer screen. Chuckling, his finger flew across the keyboard in a speed not yet known to man.

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Next-- Epilogue