A/N: This fanfic starts pre-matrix and continues post-matrix. It is written as the voice in Trinity's head, speaking her thoughts. Inspiration for this fic was half from BtVS (weirdly) and half from the gut-wrenching rooftop scene of Reloaded. It was completely rather quickly and divided into six parts/lessons. Thanks to ravengirl and acazr for the suggestions. For amazing fanfic, check out www.constructfic.org

DISCLAIMER: If I owned them, I'd have gotten to meet Carrie-Anne Moss and would not be here sitting in front of my computer with no life. In other words, I don't.

Lesson 1: Remember

Who am I?

You wonder who that voice belongs to, the taunting voice searing your brain, permeating your consciousness at lonely times. You think you understand yourself, your purpose and place amid the war but your mind cannot help but express its doubt. Which, consequently speaking, is not a bad thing, is it? Seeing as it is the feeling that brought you here, that provoked the question that drives you, that ultimately set you free. But nothing comes without a price, not even freedom. Ironic, is it not?

You remember being seventeen, being unplugged into a new world, into the desert of the real as Morpheus puts it. You were desperate for a belief and you remember drinking it up, taking it all in like a drug, desperately addicted to your so-called purpose of playing the role resistance fighter. The crew was different then, Mouse was unknown, still trapped inside the Matrix, living naively through green coding everyday. You remember the two crew members that died in your sight, one of them when you were eighteen, and another one right before Mouse was freed. Do you still know their names? Let me tell you, they were Band and Cyrus, both strong, well-experienced fighters; both toned to tip-top shape.  You remember fighting, sparring with Band in the Dojo for the first time and losing, painfully. You remember going on your first mission alongside Cyrus, the incessant amazement with her speed, her power, her abilities.

So how did they die?

You understand that every fighter on board a ship comes with an expiry date. But what determines that date? Was Band not fast enough to outrun that one particular agent, after all attempts before that day were cloaked in success? No, that cannot be true, for agents are victims of the rules of the Matrix, of boundaries that can never be broken nor bent. They were all the same, the same speed, the same strength, the same. Always. Was Cyrus simply distracted that day and failed to notice the abnormal until too late? No, that cannot be the answer either for if they were prone to distraction, they would not have lasted as long as they have already. Do you still know your question?

So how did they die?

Perhaps they wanted to.

No, you shake your head. Remember, they were fighters. Remember, fighters don't give up. We never give up.