Disclaimer: I don't own TV shows. I don't write songs, either. Ingrid Michaelson owns the one used for the title.
Since I'm finally on Christmas vacation, I really wanted to write a MerDerZola one shot. It's little glimpses into their holiday season, and of course, includes mentions of baby number two! Enjoy, and let me know what you think!
...
December 16th
The soft click of the door shifts Derek's attention away from the sitcom he'd been watching from his hospital bed. As nice as it was to be on mandatory bed rest, being cooped up for the past four days was making him mildly stir crazy, and the twelve hours that spanned between now and being discharged in the morning couldn't come soon enough.
Meredith smiles at him, a bag of food in her arm. "Hey," she says, setting it down on his tray table.
"Hey," he echoes. "Where's Zo?"
"She's having a sleepover with Sofia. There's a princess movie marathon on, and Arizona and Callie offered to watch her overnight, since I'm on call anyway," Meredith says, shutting the blinds on the window with a flick of her wrist.
"Closing the blinds? Is something dirty about to happen?" Derek asks as he moves over in bed to make room for her.
"If these doors locked, I'd be more than happy to give you sex," Meredith says. She settles into the bed next to him, and drapes a hand over her stomach. "I thought being pregnant wasn't supposed to make you horny this early. But seriously, I want it all the time."
"Tomorrow night, I'll be happy to help you with that," he promises. "How was peanut today?"
"Actually the size of a grape now, which is very impressive," Meredith says, placing his warm palm over her belly. "He actually let me eat a whole sandwich without puking."
Derek grins. "So, it's a boy today?"
"I'll switch back to girl tomorrow. Still testing the waters," she says with a shrug. "How are you? How was your day?"
"Other than the lunch date I had with you and Zo, boring. Better now that you're here, though. What's in the bag?" he asks.
"Chinese food." Meredith sits up and wheels the tray table over their laps, dodging the smirk she knows is on his face.
"Finally got those egg rolls you wanted, huh?"
Meredith takes the containers out of the plastic bag and hands him a fork. "Pregnancy cravings, Derek. Nine weeks, and they're already freaking me out," she says. "Anyway, I thought while we ate, we could online shop for Zo, then pick everything up when we're at the mall getting her pictures with Santa taken. Christmas is in a week and a half, and we're way behind. We don't even have a tree yet."
Derek chuckles at her rambling. "Well, we've been kind of busy lately. You know, me getting you pregnant; you flying my sister in from across the country for body parts."
"How is your hand, by the way?" Meredith remembers to ask.
Visiting Derek these past few days has become routine. He's been wearing sweats and a t-shirt since day one post-op, spends all day hanging out with Zola reading books and playing games, and looks like the farthest thing from a surgical patient. His room was her hideaway from the hustle and bustle on the other side of the door.
Instead of telling her how his hand is, Derek shows her. He grabs the bottle of hot mustard from the takeout bag and unscrews the lid with his left hand, breaking the plastic seal right along with it. The action may have seemed small to anyone else, but it leaves Meredith in awe. She wipes away the pooled tears in her eyes with a napkin.
"Derek."
"Pretty good, right?"
Meredith follows his lead, showing him just how good it was rather than telling him. She puts her hands on his cheeks and kisses him hard. It's the kind of kiss they usually reserve for their own bedroom, but they're willing to take the risk.
"Hmm, better than an egg roll?" he murmurs.
She laughs against his lips. "Almost."
...
December 18th
Meredith's not sure when it happened. She's been busy with work and Zola and scrambling around to get as much Christmas preparation done as she can, so she hasn't much down time. But this afternoon, Derek and Zola went out grocery shopping, and she took advantage of the quiet by soaking in the tub until every bone in her body was sated.
Afterward, she shimmies on a pair of panties and some pajama bottoms. As she's slipping her Dartmouth shirt over her head, something catches her eye in the mirror, and all she can do is stare.
It's small, unmistakable, and it takes her breath away. Meredith runs her hand over her stomach, rounded with the first hints of the little life she and Derek made nine weeks ago.
"Holy crap," she whispers, looking down at it. "Hi, baby." The words leave her mouth, and to her surprise, saying them feels natural. Comforting, even. Grape baby was growing, and it shocked her how she could already love someone so much.
Minutes or hours could have passed by the time Derek walks into their bedroom, kicking off his shoes. "Hey. Zola fell asleep in the car on the way home, so I put her in her crib. How was—" he begins, his words trailing off when he sees what she's staring at in silence.
"Meredith." His hand is drawn to her belly like a magnet. "When did this..."
"Right?"
"God, you look beautiful," Derek says reverently.
"I look pregnant," Meredith replies, as though the idea seemed foreign. Something she never actually thought would come to fruition after what happened last time.
Derek stands behind her, resting his chin on her shoulder. "You are pregnant."
"Think we should tell Zo? I mean, she's not going to understand completely, but at least seeing my belly will make it more tangible for her. I know she's still little, but I want her to be in the loop, so she can feel involved," Meredith suggests, smiling at the way Derek's warm hands feel pressed against her skin.
"I have an idea."
Later that night, while the three of them are decorating the Christmas tree, Derek takes the chance to sneak into his office to retrieve something wrapped in green tissue paper, a surprise he'd been itching to share with them for weeks. He slips it into his pocket, then walks back into the living room where Meredith is helping Zola hang a snowflake ornament on the tree engraved with her name on it, a gift from her grandma.
"I hang my snowflake, Dad!" Zola tells him excitedly.
"It's beautiful, Zozo. I love it," Derek says. He sits down on the floor, then leans against the couch. "Come here for a minute, Zo. Mommy and Daddy have something to show you."
Zola toddles over to him and snuggles herself on his lap. "What?" she asks.
Derek puts a pillow behind Meredith's back as soon as she joins them, already hovery in a way that was still endearing at this stage of the game. "Thank you."
"Zo, you know that you, Mommy and me are a family, right?" Derek says.
Zola nods emphatically. "Uh huh. Ohana."
"Very good, Zo. We are ohana, just like in Lilo," Meredith praises. "And guess what?"
"What?"
"In a few months, we're gonna have a new baby in our ohana. A little brother or sister for you to play with," Meredith says, biting her lip as she waits for Zola's reaction.
Zola's mouth forms a tiny 'o' shape and she points to herself. "I getting a sister?" she asks.
"Or a brother. Yeah," Derek adds, turning toward Meredith. "Well, we know what side she's on in the pink vs. blue debate."
Meredith laughs. "I kind of figured that. Doesn't every girl want a little sister?"
"Why do you think Kathleen and Nancy have always resented my existence?" Derek jokes. "Don't worry, though. Even if it's a boy, he'll be subjected to princess costumes and Barbies like I was."
"Where's baby at?" Zola asks.
"Inside Mommy," Meredith says, lifting up her shirt slightly. "See how my belly is growing? That's our baby, Zo. She grows a little bit every day, and when she's big enough, she'll come out, and we'll all get to meet her."
Zola cocks her head, staring at Meredith's stomach with interest. "Baby in there?"
"Yeah. Isn't that cool, Zozo?" Derek says.
Zola reaches out her tiny hand and places it on top of the barely there bump. She spreads her fingers, then leans down and presses a kiss to it. "Lub you, baby," she whispers.
It took Zola a split second to go into big sister mode, and the unprompted gesture brings tears to both of her parents' eyes. "I'm sure baby loves you, too," Meredith says, wiping the sleeve of her shirt under her eye.
"Want to see a picture of the baby, Zo?" Derek pulls the wrapped gift from his pocket, handing it it to Zola. "There you go. You can open it."
Zola rips off the tissue paper and flips the wooden ornament around in her hand once she opens it. "That's baby?"
Meredith peers at the ornament in Zola's hand and sees a framed picture of the eight week ultrasound, the same one she carries in her wallet, has tucked into her cubby, and stares at a hundred times a day.
"Yeah. Look, see her head right here," Derek shows her, tracing his finger over the baby's outline. "And this is the rest of her body. Her back and her belly. It's hard to see, but she has little arms and legs, too."
"Mommy and Daddy even got to listen to her heartbeat," Meredith says.
"Heart beep?" Zola reiterates, her eyes wide with fascination.
"Yeah. Next time, we can all go, so we can listen to her heart beep together," Derek laughs. "How about it? Do you want to hang baby's picture on the tree?"
"I do it!" Zola says eagerly, shooting off of Derek's lap and running over to the tree.
"Where should we hang it, Zo?" Meredith asks.
Derek scoops her up, and Zola ponders for a moment. "I hang baby with Lilo," she decides.
"Excellent choice," Derek nods. He holds Zola close to the tree, and she carefully hangs the ornament next to the Lilo and Stitch figurines Amelia sent as part of Zola's early birthday present.
"Baby my ohana," Zola says with a smile, pointing to the ornament.
Meredith kisses her daughter's cheek. "That's right, Zo. Baby is our ohana."
When they finish decorating the tree, Zola helps them hang four stockings over the fireplace. Afterward, she walks over to her toy box and pulls out the stuffed Stitch doll from inside, one of her favorites, and a frequent invite to her daily tea parties.
"I put this in baby's tockin?'" she asks.
"Your little brother or sister is so lucky to have you, Zozo," Derek says, lifting her up so she can drop the stuffed animal into the fourth red stocking in the row.
"I gettin' a sister, Daddy," Zola corrects him.
Meredith laughs, patting her belly with her hand. "We better hope there's a girl in here, or we're in big trouble."
...
December 20th
Derek bounces Zola on his hip, smiling at the way Meredith frets over Zola's frilly red dress. They're next line to see Santa, and Derek is almost certain that his wife is more nervous over the occasion than their soon-to-be two year old.
"What're you gonna ask Santa for, Zozo?" Derek asks in an attempt to distract her from the blonde toddler currently screaming bloody murder from Santa's lap, arms outstretched for his parents to rescue him from the fat man in the suit.
"A doggy," Zola replies without hesitation.
Meredith fixes the buckle on Zola's shiny, black shoe, giggling at the exchange. "She's really not backing down on the doggy thing."
"Stubborn like you," Derek says. "Worth a shot, Zo."
"Welcome to Santa's village. I'm Katie, one of Santa's helpers. What's your name, sweetheart?" asks the college-aged girl dressed in an elf costume.
Zola buries her face in Derek's shoulder, always shy around people she didn't know. Derek decides to step in and help, kissing the top of his daughter's head. "This is Zola."
"Hi, Zola. Are you ready to go see Santa?" Katie asks with elf-like enthusiasm, earning every penny of her minimum wage.
"I no go, Daddy," Zola mumbles as she clings to Derek like a lifeline.
Meredith puts a gentle hand on Zola's back. "Zo, I'm sure Santa would really love to see you. You can show him how big you got, and tell him all the things you want him to bring you. Mommy and Daddy will be right there if you get scared. How's that sound?"
Zola peeks her face out from Derek's shoulder and nods slightly. "Okay."
"Okay," Meredith says softly, taking one of Zola's hands when Derek sets her on her feet.
Derek holds her other hand, and the three walk toward Mall Santa, who gives Zola a friendly wave and a smile as she approaches him. "Ho ho ho! Hi there, Zola," Santa greets cheerfully.
Zola gasps when he says her name. "Santa," she whispers in awe.
"Go ahead, Lovebug. We'll be right over here," Meredith encourages.
Zola walks over to Santa all by herself, and he scoops her onto his lap. Her shy shell chips away as Santa begins talking to her, which, given last year's ordeal that ended in tears and a mini-meltdown, leaves both of her parents devoid of words. All they can do is listen as she chats away.
"What would you like for Christmas, Zola?" Santa asks.
"A doggy," Zola tells him.
"A doggy, huh?"
Zola nods. "I name him Benny."
"Did she say Benny?" Derek asks, he and Meredith standing beside the photographer who was busy snapping pictures.
"I think so," Meredith says. "No idea where that came from."
"Oh. Well, I'll see what I can do. What else would you like? Maybe a baby doll?" Santa suggests.
Zola pats her belly with her hand. "Baby in Mommy," she says proudly. "I big sister."
"Did she just..." Meredith sputters.
"Yeah. She did." Derek wraps his arm around her and kisses above her ear. "Now Santa knows you've been naughty this year..."
Meredith nudges him with her hip. "You're the one that knocked me up. If I've been naughty, so have you," she murmurs, so that the photographer elf won't hear them.
"Worth it."
Meredith leans into him and smiles. "Totally was."
...
December 25th
When Zola scrambles into her parents' bedroom just after seven in the morning, the idea to have two rounds of Christmas sex on the living room floor followed by six hours of wrapping the night before suddenly seems like a bad one.
"Santa come! Santa come!" Zola chants happily, the jingle bells on her footie pajamas like an alarm clock.
"How is it already morning?" Derek mumbles into the back of Meredith's hair.
Meredith nestles into his warmth, savoring the darkness behind her eyelids for as long as she can. "Because we went to bed four hours ago," she yawns.
"Zozo in?" Zola asks sweetly, tapping Meredith's hand with her finger.
"And we're up," Derek chuckles. He leans over Meredith and swiftly lifts Zola off her feet, holding her high above them. Zola shrieks with laughter when Derek gently drops her onto the bed between them. "Merry Christmas, Princess," he says, planting a kiss to the top of her head.
"Merry Kismiss," Zola echoes.
Meredith rolls onto her back, stretching her tired limbs. "Morning, baby girl. Merry Christmas," she says.
"Morning, Ma." Zola lifts up Meredith's shirt and rubs her belly before giving it a small peck with her lips. "Merry Kismiss, baby," she greets. "Ma frow up yet?"
Derek bites back a laugh, mostly because it's a valid question. Meredith narrows her eyes at him and shakes her head. "Actually, I'm not too nauseous right now. But after I eat breakfast, I can't make any promises."
"Daddy make booberry waffles?" Zola requests.
"You got it," Derek says. "Ready to go see what Santa got you?"
Zola claps her hands in giddy excitement. "Yeah!"
"Okay, let's go."
Zola makes it through ten presents by breakfast time, stopping in between each one to play. Dolls, games, dress-up clothes galore. She would probably be opening gifts for three days, but they were in no rush anyway. After breakfast, Meredith sets a present wrapped in penguin paper in front of Zola, one of the more cherished gifts under the tree.
Zola tears the wrapping paper off like a pro, and stares at the gift in her hand. "A dolly, Mommy!" she says, holding it up for Meredith to see.
"Yeah. Her name's Anatomy Jane. She was mine when I was little. I wanted you to have her." Meredith takes the doll and pulls off the blue gown, revealing all the plastic organs underneath. "See? She's got all these body parts. One day when you're a doctor, you'll know all of them."
"You've got the twosh, and over here's the chubble. The chubble's connected to the slivie. Right?" Derek asks, turning to Meredith.
Meredith smiles, not sure if she's more amused or impressed. "I can't believe you remember that. That was years ago."
"Does that turn you on?"
"Not gonna lie. A little bit," Meredith admits.
"I share with sister," Zola says, cradling the doll in her arm.
"Or, you know, brother," Meredith throws in casually, in a futile attempt to get Zola used to the idea that the baby might be a boy.
Zola's not paying much attention, though. Instead, she sprawls out on her stomach and examines each of Anatomy Jane's detachable organs closely.
"Already a little surgeon in the making. I think Anatomy Jane is a hit," Derek says.
Meredith rests her head on his shoulder, watching as Zola plays with the doll. "She's the closest thing I had to a sister when I was little. Having Ellis Grey as your mother and being an only child? Not exactly a rockin' good time. Anatomy Jane helped."
"Well, that's another thing to be grateful for."
"What's that?"
"We get to do it all differently. We get to be the parents you deserved. Plus, boy or girl, we're giving Zo a best friend. As far as gifts go, it doesn't get much better," Derek says.
"Yeah."
Meredith smiles, picturing what next Christmas would be like. Zola would be even taller, smarter, sweeter, and nearly three. And the current grape-sized human would be five months old, and if the Shepherd DNA prevailed like she expected it to, would have dark hair, blue eyes, and make her swoon without even trying.
Zola interrupts Meredith's thoughts, pointing to Anatomy Jane's plastic, yellow uterus and accompanying female parts. "What's this?"
"Aah, that's the jelly pouch, Zo," Derek answers.
Meredith laughs. "Still can't get enough of the jelly pouch, can you?"
"Clearly, I can't," he says, gesturing to the bump under her t-shirt. "Still my favorite, too."
and it's cold outside
but I'm just fine
you are mine
to keep warm