TeaFlower Presents… for some unknown reason…

WHY AVALANCHE HATES…

The Disclaimer of RANDOM: Final Fantasy 7 doesn't belong to me.

Author's Notes: Yo! I'm TeaFlower, a Sonic/Pokemon/Final Fantasy 7 fan. I've got two other fanfics going right now, one of which is done, the other is… well… not done. Anyway, I HAD to write this because I thought of something TOTALLY random that could be turned into a series. Have fun, enjoy the story, and don't expect an update soon! Oh, and ONE thing: EVERYONE is out of character (save Yuffie) and Cait Sith blows up.

Episode 1: … Hamburger

It was a bright and sunny day. Cloud was deep in his lab, doing something. He said that one of the things he was doing was something he was hoping of doing when he got the chance and the other "will benefit every person with spiky hair or people who want spiky hair." Vincent had just come in from being outside, and Yuffie was holding a book.

Yuffie ran up to Vincent. "Vinnie!" she yelled, "Lookie what I found!" She held up the book. "It's shiny."

Vincent raised an eyebrow. "Um… Yuffie, do you know whose book that is?" he asked.

Yuffie shook her head and opened it. "It smells like dog. And there are PICTURES in there."

Vincent snatched the book from Yuffie. He looked in it and said, "That's MINE, Yuffie. Did you go in my room again?" He walked off.

Yuffie blinked. Vincent doesn't smell like dog… she thought, so why does his photo album? "I must ask Cloud! Cloud knows EVERYTHING!" With that, Yuffie skipped off towards the lab.

Cloud mixed two chemicals together. Something bubbled. He laughed. Yuffie slowly came down the stairs as he held up what he created.

"At long last!" he cried, inspecting his creation. "I FINALLY fixed Mr. Quackquack!" Yes, Cloud was holding a spiky-haired rubber duck. "Yay, Mr. Quackquack!" Yuffie sighed and ran up to him. She bumped into him, making him drop the duck.

"Cloud!" she yelled in his ear. Cloud rubbed his ear and picked up Mr. Quackquack. "Why does Vinnie's photo album smell like dog?"

Cloud sighed. "I don't know, Yuffie… ask Tifa… just LEAVE ME ALONE AND GET OUT OF MY LAB!" Yuffie fled before he pulled out a sword.

Tifa jumped up and started punching something. She kicked it away. Barret started shooting at it as it went towards Cid, who sliced it up into little pieces using his spear.

Tifa landed as she yelled, "Beef, tenderized!"

Barret chuckled. "Meat, spicified!

Cid sighed. "Hamburger, sliced."

Yes, they were making burgers. But this is AVALANCHE! We gotta make it FANCY! In case you were wondering, Barret put spice mixes in his gun turrets instead of bullets. He was fixing this now. Tifa jumped up. "Alright! Let's get these burgers on the grill!" She picked up the burgers and went towards the indoor grill.

That's when Yuffie came in.

Yuffie slammed into Tifa. Hard. The burgers flew off the plate. "MY BURGERS!" Tifa yelled. The burgers hit Cid's shoulder. He blinked, then threw them towards the grill. But Barret was right there, so they hit him and became one big mass of burger. Barret blinked, then threw the burger mass at Yuffie. It hit her head. She picked it up and threw it away.

Red XIII curled up for a nap. That's when the burger hit him. He blinked. Then he shook it off. It hit Cait Sith, who immediately exploded. The explosion caused the burger to fly towards… Vincent's room.

"Oh… CRAP." Barret said.

Vincent was reading some book. And then the burger hit him. He blinked, then looked around for who threw it. Of course, no one was there, so he threw the burger out the door.

The burger bounced off a wall, off a banister, off a light, and into the lab.

"… I'm gonna go get more burger…" Tifa sighed.

Yuffie looked down into the lab and said, "When that burger comes outa there, it ain't gonna be burger no more!"

Cloud started laughing maniacally. "Finally… FINALLY!" He held up his creation.

"Hair gel that can't be burned, electrocuted, or affected by any OTHER element! I'll be RICH!" He shuffled over to a pedestal. "This thing is super unstable, so it needs to stabilize. Until then, it'll be safe right here."

Cloud was just about to put the gel case down when the burger came flying in. It hit Cloud square in the hands.

And the gel blew up.

I'm not kidding when I say this, but that stuff must have been more unstable than a broken atom! That explosion was SO big, it could be seen from Round Island! And take note this was on the Western Continent in Nibelheim! It made a mushroom cloud like the ones you see in cartoons.

The burger rolled out of the lab, charred and looking like a cookie. Yuffie blinked, then said, "Told ya so!"

---It was random, I know. But that's the point of my writing! I hope you like this story! Well, not story. Just saying why AVALANCHE hates things.---