~ The Sorrows of Young Charlotte ~
All she wanted was cheese...
Just a piece of cheese, or even a slice of her favorite cheesecake...
She wanted to be with her friends when they were happy. Maybe even eat some desserts...
She wanted to be with her family. Together, celebrating happy moments in life, even share these moments with others...
She wanted to go somewhere beautiful. Somewhere where she could be as happy as her heart desired, and as her friends desired as well...
...
All she wanted was to live...
To not suffer anymore... to feel no pain... no misery... no sorrow...
She despised the day she learned of her condition. She could not live in the fogs of ignorance, believing that all was well with her...
...She was going to die. Very soon... very close...
She was suffering from a disease that was killing her body...slowly... but surely...
But if not because of the disease, then she was dying due to her crumbling heart...
She was not allowed to see the friends she loved ever so dearly...
She was not allowed to see her family, who every now and then, visited her, only to come out of the hospital, with tears in their eyes...
She would play with the other children, as they talked about how much they wished to be normal again.
"We'll get better, I know it." She would say "And we'll still be friends even after we're cured. I promise."
She was isolated... just as all the other children who suffered, she was closed off from the outsid world, in a realm of her own...
She couldn't even eat her favorite foods anymore. The procedures the doctors conducted required her not to intake any kind of dairy...
This was a sure sign she was going to die. Somedays, she looks back and believes if only she died natually, just let the disease take over...
No... this was not suiting for her. Not only would she have died peacefully, but she would have died an undeserving death...
She truly is a monster...
She not only ended her life, but ended the lives of all the boys, girls, and humans who suffered the same disease she did...
It all happened that fateful day... the day she became a magical girl...
The incubator Kyubey promised her one wish, big or small, would be granted, if she made a contract...
"I can help you, Charlotte. Come, give me your loyalty, and I'll give you any happiness you desire..."
These were the cold words the white Incubator spoke to her, on the day she made her contract.
She was so happy. She could live life not only as a normal girl again, but as a savior... as a Puella Magi...
She valiantly fought against the bringers of despair, the Witches, and one after another, they fell...
Not only was she protecting her friends and family, but humanity as a whole. She was a saivor... a "knight of justice" if you wish...
And soon... she made new friends... other Puella Magis, who helped one another... keep each other from despair... made each other as happy as they could be...
But still, she was dying... the pain kept getting worse...
One day, after she defeated another witch, she spoke to Kyubey once again..
"I have made my wish. Please... cure me. Let me eat desserts again. Let me eat cheese again. Let me live once again."
And so she wished, and Kyubey granted. She was healed. She could feel the disease disappear from her body, and a new spirit grew in young Charlotte... a spirit of joy...
Now she could anything she wanted; cheese, cheesecake, rolls, pudding, anything her heart desired.
Of course, she shared with her other friends, including her Puella Magi friends... they each had a love for something in the world, be it nature, toys, or just life in general...
But of course, Charlotte knows better now. She knows better than to be happy with her condition...
For as she checked out of the hospital... all she saw were the brightened faces of other boys and girls, and the nurses and doctors too...
"Take care, Charlotte. Maybe we can see each other some other day. Make sure to save a big chunk of cheese for me."
"Charlotte, Charlotte! I think I'm getting better too! Maybe, when I do get better, you can come over to my house and eat desserts with me sometime!'
"You're such a beautiful little girl, Charlotte. Please, come back some other time, and play with the other children when you have the chance. I'll make sure to bring you a slice of your favorite dessert too. It's cheesecake, right?"
All these voices... they will never leave the girl's mind... all of their hopes and dreams...
The tears that came from the nurses' faces. The tears of joy, that maybe, someday, the other children could be like her; healthy and lively once again
And the other children, with light gleaming from their eyes... they too dreamed of being able to be happy again. To escape this dreary hospital, and to eat just as many desserts as Charlotte could.
Soon, she began to think... she began to ponder what her wish truly was...
And thus, she came to a conclusion... she was not this "beautiful little girl" who everyone looked up to. She was not this "savior" she foolishly led herself to believe...
She was a monster...
She was a selfish monster, who wasted her wish on her own desires...
Kyubey said, no matter how big or small, he could grant her any wish from the depths of her heart.
She could have wished that all the children, all the adults, all who suffered from this disease, to be cured just like she was...
But instead, she let her own desire... her own selfish wishes get her better judgment, and wished that only she could enjoy delicious sweets once again...
And as she walked out of the hospital, only one thing ran through her mind...
"It shouldn't have been me... It shouldn't have been me... It should have been another more deserving girl who became a Puella Magi... and not me..."
Soon, Charlotte began to isolate herself again, but this time of her own choice. She felt that deep down inside, she was a hideous beast who will devour anything, even human life...
She truly was alone...
Her friends worried for her, they aked her "Charlotte, why are you crying like that? Is there something wrong?"
"I want to die..." she would respond, "I want to leave this world. I am unfit to live in it.
"Charlotte, please, let us help you... you're not a moster. You're like us, a Puella Magi." This is what her Puella Magi friends would tell her. On their fights against the witches, they kept trying to comfort Charlotte, help her understand that she truly isn't at fault.
"I deserve to die! I'm no better than the witches we kill! They cause suffering to humans! I could have helped more people, but no, I was too selfish to see right! I caused just as much suffering as any other witch would! Just kill me, break my Soul Gem. Please... end my life!"
Her Puella Magi friends didn't know what to do. Their friend was at peril, she would always cry as she slaid a witch. Her Soul Gem no longer glowed the bright red color it used to, instead, it was a dark, ominous, red and black mixture...
She was in despair... and she wanted it all to end...
She returned to the hospital she once was treated at. She heard from the nurses that many of the sick children died after she left. But... they still had hope... they still believed, and they still loved Charlotte ever so much...
The fools... they didn't know... they didn't know that those children's blood were on her hands. Her soiled, unforgivable, hands...
Hope... she believed in it once... before she met Kyubey. Before she became a Puella Magi... she remembered the days she laid in her bed, hoping to get better soon…
"We'll still be friends… even after we get better… I promise…"
There she was, in the same bed that she once laid on as her days past by. She felt so thankfull to be alive in those days. Now… she just wants to die…
She wished she never existed…
She could feel the despair take over… corrupt her Soul Gem. She now understood…
She did not deserve to die… instead…. She deserved to suffer. She will suffer just as the witches she slaid. She knew then, that this was the way it was suppose to be. A never ending cycle of despair and sorrow…
"I'm a monster. Always was, always will be. I don't deserve to be a Puella Magi… I deserve to die… as a witch… alone…this is my destiny…"
With that, the little hope she had, the little humanity that existed in her heart, the little love she felt… vanished. Her Soul Gem broke, and in it's place formed a Grief Seed. Her surroundings twisted and turned, as the room became filled with desserts, hospital beds, and needles…
Truly… she belonged in her place.
…
The following days of her existence were even more torment for the witch who was once Charlotte. Every day, her accursed kiss would appear on the neck of the innocent, and would cause them to die…
How she hated her existence even more… She no longer wished to be a witch, rather, to simply not exist…
She never knew what happened to her family, friends, and even her fellow Puella Magi. Instead, she was stuck alone. In her barrier. As she wished…
She couldn't tell time anymore… the days went by unnoticeably. The creatures of her mind, these dog like creatures and candy nurses… they tried making her happy…
She never said anything to them… she just let them search on and on for cheese…
How she wished a brave Puella Magi, a true knight of justice, would come and end her meaningless existence…
Eventually, one did arise. A beautiful, graceful one, who had strong hope and love in her heart. Charlotte knew this was the angel that will end her…
And so, Charlotte arrived, as she looked like a stuffed doll version of her Puella Magi self. She sat on a high chair and did nothing. She waited for her angel to save her…
And save her she did. She attacked, clubbed, and even shot Charlotte multiple times. She could feel her existence slipping away. How she dreamed of this day to come…
But the beast inside her, the true Charlotte, wanted otherwise. She arose from her mouth, and just as she ended he lives of those with the witch's kiss, the beast ended the life of this valiant Puella Magi. Devoured, as if she were food, Charlotte had no control of her actions anymore. She was truly a beast…
She could not cry for the Puella Magi's lost, for her witch self prevented it. She instead searched on for more prey. More innocent lives to end…
A savior…
Another savior appeared… a more cold, but collected one. There was much sorrow in her heart, but she was valiant enough to try to end Charlotte…
And thus, Charlotte took the Puella Magi's bait. She purposely ate the bomb she laid down, and waited for her death to come…
…
…
Charlotte… was no more…
"Thank you, Puella Magi… thank you…"
Now, Charlotte didn't know where she was. It was a spiritual, astral place, that was blank as a canvas was. She still remained in her small, innocent looking, witch form… she could finally cry again…
As she cried, she heard familiar footsteps. Those of the Puella Magi she ended… Mami Tomoe…
The beautiful girl had a plate of cheese in her hands, and handed it to Charlotte.
"Here, Charlotte" she said in angelic voice. "You like cheese, right?"
…
"Why? Why are you so nice to me, Mami-san? Don't you know what I've done? I ended your life, I ended many people's life. I am a monster."
Mami was smiling, as Charlotte continued to cry. She still handed over the plate to her, but Charlotte refused, knowing better…
"Please Charlotte, please take it. It's very good." Mami insisted on. If only she knew…
"No! I'm a monster. I could have saved people with my wish, but now look at me. I wasted it, and I'm alone. Always have, always will be. I deserve to be here… not you…"
Mami picked up the small witch, and held her to her height.
"I know that you were once a Puella Magi too, Charlotte. And it's okay, you can cry as much as you need to. You're not alone."
With these words spoken, all of the memories, good and bad, flushed into the witch's mind. All her joy, her friends, her fellow Puella Magi, the familars, her family, even her time in her barrier, all came at full speed. Charlotte could feel the suffering Mami had as well; her loneliness, her sorrow, her desire of friends. They all reminded the witch of herself. Maybe…. Maybe she wasn't alone after all…
"If you want… then maybe… we can both be sad… together…"
…
"Thank you, Mami-san. Thank you."
~ The End ~