On top of the roof
The air is so cold and so calm
I say your name in silence
You don't wanna hear it right now
The eyes of the city
Are counting the tears falling down
Each one a promise
Of everything you never found
Reid knew this wasn't much better than taking dilaudid, but he didn't know what else to do. His life would end anyway when he got kicked out of the BAU, either from what he feared was his own schizophrenic break... or because of his sexuality... and his dark skinned partner he was in love with. He stood there calmly, looking down to the parking lot. He wondered how long it would take for someone to find him pancaked to the asphalt. Probably not long. There were always people walking in and out of the building, he wondered if he would even be dead by the time the EMT's got there.
It would suck if he wasn't. A gigantic epic fail on his part. He wondered if anyone was looking for him as he stood thinking over his demise. No one probably was, they had all just gotten back from a case and everyone was trying to get their paper work done quickly so they could get home to their beds. Maybe he would just wait until they left, then he would have a greater chance of dying before anyone found him. He thought about what their reactions would be when they saw what he had done to himself. They probably wouldn't care much, except on cases with unsubs of over average intelligence. Then they would wish he hadn't done it. He tilted his head to the other side, thinking about how long it would take them all to leave.
I scream into the night for you
Don't make it true
Don't jump
The lights will not guide you through
They're deceiving you
Don't jump
Don't let memories go
Of me and you
The world is down there out of view
Please don't jump
"Hey, J.J., Where's Pretty Boy? I wanted to see if he needed a ride home." Morgan asked the married female.
She turned and looked past him towards Spencer's desk.
"I, uh, he was at his desk not that long ago. He's probably getting coffee or something." She shrugged before turning back to her work.
Derek shrugged also and walked into the kitchen.
"Pretty Boy." He said in a semi-singing tone, walking into the thin space.
No one was there, he looked around confused. Then the brunette female of his team walked past him.
"Yo, Prentiss, have you seen Reid?" He asked her.
"Uh, I think I saw him heading towards Garcia's office a couple of minutes ago." She told him.
The strong agent gave her a nod and began heading towards his favorite technical annalist. He walked into her cave and looked around confused.
"What do you need Sex Muffin?" She questioned, whooshing around in her chair real fast.
"I'm trying to find Reid, have you seen him?"
"Are you trying to find him so that you can tell him you loooooooooooooooooooooove hiiim?" She smiled.
"No," He sighed, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms. "I'm trying to find him to see if he needs a ride home."
"Your home?" She asked hopefully.
"To his own home, jeez woman."
"Can I help it if I want my little baby snow leopard and my stoic panther to get together?"
"If Reid was here he'd give you some sort of lecture about why those two animals should never mate."
"Lucky me, Reid isn't here. and you both are grown... well, kinda, men that need to get together."
"Have you seen him?"
"He walked past my door a while back and I heard steps going up the stairs."
"Thank you." The dark skinned male sighed in exasperation.
He turned and headed for the stairs.
"Go get your man!" He heard his best friend call to him.
He just shook his head at her. He clambered up the stairs, wondering why he would have gone up them.
You open your eyes
But you can't remember what for
The snow falls quietly
You just can't feel it no more
Somewhere out there
You lost yourself in your pain
You dream of the end
To start all over again
There were seven floors between the genius and his colleagues. He hadn't told anyone he was going any where. If anyone did try to find him... they would be too late. Or, maybe they would witness him falling. See his small figure flop forward off the ledge, come running up to the side to see if he was actually falling like the people always seemed to do in the movies, see his body crash to the hard ground, hear the soft crunch of his bones breaking. Then seeing him lie there... still. Never to move again. He wondered if they would ever know why he did it. They probably wouldn't, they'd just think he had a psychotic break and get back to their daily lives. They'd pretend to mourn him at work so they didn't seem heartless, but, soon, they'd notice everyone else was doing the exact same thing, and drop the facade. It shouldn't take more than a week or two for it to happen.
Then they would go to his funeral, out of courtesy of course, and then forget all about him. Play poker and have to guess who will win, same with pool, and chess. They'd never have to see another one of his magic tricks, he knew they all found them stupid. They just had to act like did to keep his ego up. They thought he didn't notice the looks they gave each other, pertaining to him. He never said it to them, but he was smarter than them, he saw it. If he ever brought it up they'd say it was all in his head, but he knew it wasn't.
So many times, he just wished he would die. That he would get kidnapped by an unsub like he always seemed to, and his team wouldn't get there until he was already dead. They'd probably just be pissed at how much paper work they'd have to go through if he died on the job. They'd just curse him and be agitated. Maybe they'd be to agitated to even go to his funeral. He hoped they would.
I scream into the night for you
Don't make it true
Don't jump
The lights will not guide you through
They're deceiving you
Don't jump
Don't let memories go
Of me and you
The world is down there out of view
Please don't jump
Don't jump
"Where are you, Pretty Boy?" Morgan asked himself, already having checked two floors with no one ever having seen the object of his search.
There were only so many places the kid could be. And he hadn't left the building, so that made it even fewer places. Then he got a thought.
"N-no... h-he can't be." He said to himself, dearly hoping he was right.
He started sprinting up the stairs, using the railing to propel himself forward. He needed to get to the roof... now.
I don't know how long
I can hold you so strong
I don't know how long
Just take my hand
Give it a chance
Don't jump
He had to do it, Reid realized. There was nothing else. If he went downstairs now, everyone would ask where he was. And, I mean, come on, he worked with profilers. They would be able to find out where he had been faster than he could remember a quote from a book. They would probably just secretly laugh and talk to each other about how much they wished he had done it. That he hadn't chickened out. He wouldn't disappoint them, he'd give them something to be proud of from him. He finally had the guts to do something manly... without the help of an abused substance.
He would choose to do this on his own, choose to be the master of his own fate. Choose to die where everyone could see him, know that there was no way to stop him... even though he wasn't that far away from them. He slowly turned himself around on the ledge, standing with his back to the abyss beyond the ledge. He would let them see his face in death, let them see him one last time. The last time they would see him without him spouting statistics.
I scream into the night for you
Don't make it true
Don't jump
The lights will not guide you through
They're deceiving you
Don't jump
Don't let memories go
Of me and you
The world is down there out of view
Please don't jump
Don't jump
Morgan burst through the door that opened to the roof. He saw Reid standing on the ledge facing him, eyes closed. His bag was sitting propped against the ledge. Morgan tried to scream his name, but no sound would come out. And his legs stopped working. He was paralyzed where he stood, only able to watch the man he loved in front of him. The calmly sad eyes opened themselves. The genius didn't seem to see him at all, though they were making direct eye contact.
"I love you." Spencer whispered.
Yet Derek could hear him.
And even though his eyes seemed not to notice him, his words were aimed directly for his heart. He gave a small smile, and let himself fall back. Finally the elder could move. He sprinted to the side of the ledge, hoping to be able to do something. He was too late. The lithe body was to far down for him to grasp, and it was falling quickly.
"I love you too." He whispered, closing his eyes as a tear sprinted down his cheek.
Then he heard the thud of meat and bone on asphalt, it sounded like it was right next to him. More tears cascaded down his chocolate skin.
And if all that can't hold you back
I'll jump for you