(Disclaimer: I don't own anything
except the Haiku and even that is about one of J.K. Rowling's characters and
places. She owns all. I own naught. Get it? Got it? Good)
(A.N. I don't usually put
any swearing in my writing, but I thought that this is what Sirius would be
thinking. Actually, it is probably what I would be thinking in his place)
Mutters
for Sirius
Time grays so slowly...
Just the mutters of the mad...
Here in Azkaban...
Hullo,
James. Back again, are you? Yes, I'm still here. Damn. Still here. Still here
forever. Oh, but I cant remember why I'm here…Shouldn't be though. I didn't do
it. Why am I here again? I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be here because it
wasn't me. I can tell you who it was. It was that bastard Peter. Rat. Worm. He
did it. He had you killed, James. He did it. And somehow I ended up here. But I
did nothing. Nothing. I'm innocent, James. But you know that. You know I didn't
know that Peter was a traitor, don't you? Does it matter what you know anyway?
You know I'm innocent, but does it matter? Could you please tell them? Tell
Remus? I don't like the thought of Remus hating me. I would appreciate it if
you told Remus that I didn't do it. He'll take care of it. Oh what a tangled
web we weave, but Remus could always un-weave it. So tell him I'm innocent. Oh,
but you cant can you? Because you aren't real. I thought you were dead, so you
cannot be real. How did you get here anyway? You must be dead. You're dead and
it is my fault. I'm sorry. Can you hear me, James? I'm sorry. I didn't know.
How could I have known? I should have. I'm so sorry. Tell Lily I'm sorry too.
And if you see Harry, tell him that it wasn't me. He should know.
There you go…I'm alone
again.
Remus. We switched
Secret-Keepers. I know we didn't tell you, and we should have but…We couldn't
have known. We couldn't have known that a miserable bastard like Peter would
get in league with Voldemort. I should have guessed it though. It was all my
fault. I might as well have done it myself. But I didn't do anything! Do you
hear me? Can you hear me? Or are you dead too? Dead dead dead everyone is dead
and it is my fault. Ah, you're leaving me too? Can't spare a moment for an old
friend? More important things to do than to keep your friend company in hell, I
suppose. Hah.
Is that you screaming,
James? Or is it a nightmare? Does it matter?
I am innocent. I
should remember that…Yes I should…Where did you go, Remus? What has your road
been like without James and I? Has it been as dark as mine? You didn't do
anything either. We didn't do anything and yet here we are. Who could have
known all those years ago when we first spoke that we would end up here?
Ignorance is bliss. But I would have killed Peter if I had known. When I find
him, I will kill him.
The man in the next
cell is talking to himself. I hear him say that he forgot something, but I
can't hear what. He wants to wash his hands. He says he is innocent. So am I.
Innocent. But I am telling the truth, and maybe he's not. Someone should ask
him if he's telling the truth. Maybe he'll be quiet. Talking to yourself is
something that crazy people do. An annoyance to the sane. He should stop before
someone thinks he's crazy. Or if he is crazy someone should take him away.
Talking to the walls means you're crazy.
Oh, you're back,
James. Have you been visiting Harry? Did you tell him? Did you tell him I've
done nothing? Do you know how much I've missed you, James? How often I think
about you? How often I think about Remus? And Harry too…I think about Harry. I
wonder where he is. I wonder would he like me if he knew me. If he knew I was
innocent.
Someone should tell
him.
