I miss you so much,
your light, your smile, your way...
Damian's legs shook underneath his weight, the Irish boy couldn't comprehend the sacrifice made for him. He watched the blonde boy leave, a fake smile plastered on the angelic face, he tried to run as fast as he could. Stumbling many a times, he clutched the sleeve of Cameron's jacket catching the young adult's attention.
"Damian...?"
"C-Cameron, please... d-don't go!"
"It's how it was decided-"
"No! – I was meant to go, n-not you!"
The elder turned and embraced the brunette, humming him into a calm state but unable to contain the violent shakes. Tilting the teen's head towards his own he gently pressed their lips together in a tender, longing kiss. Against all the religion he devoted himself to, against his girlfriend, his family; he continued to kiss the small boy in front of him before letting go and waving slowly, watching the fearful tears of love and devotion in Damian's eyes. It was like he left the world he belonged to, leaving for another world where he wasn't a devout Christian, where he didn't have a girlfriend or an awkward-to-homosexuality family.
Damian couldn't bear to see Cameron go, and with the realization feelings they shared for each other were true, he cried more in what appeared like transparent rivers that flooded an overload of emotions. His sobs echoing down the corridors as he collapsed onto the floor, digging his bitten nails into the floorboards underneath his body. The one he loved, the one he fell so hard for throughout the duration of the project had only just left his side and he already missed him; His cheeky, dorky smile with them large framed glasses and that way he sung with such striking vocals and the light he gave off with his gorgeous dark eyes.
And everything about us
though you're gone,
Damian and Cameron both had their minds casted to one another, both set aside with their emotions of loneliness, guilt, betrayal and loss.
Cameron sighed heavily as he pressed two of his fingers against the bridge of his glasses, pushing them further up his nose as he raised a hand as he approached the road outside, waiting for a taxi to pull up and take him to the closest train station as he then could get home to Dallas Fort, Texas and to his girlfriend, where he should resume life as normal. Except for that empty, hurting piece of heart and memory about that one contestant.
You're still here
in my heart, in my tears,
A day had passed since Cameron Mitchell left the Glee Project, of his own free will. Damian sat in the lounge, most of the time, crying to himself or totally out of it. He rarely ate and many of the group were worried. Samuel and Hannah approached Damian.
"You okay Damo?"
Hannah chimed, rubbing his shoulder in a comforting way.
Samuel nodded before joining in; "Yeah, you've been so depressed since Mitchell left..."
He trailed off as the teen whimpered at the mention of Cameron's surname. Damian used his left hand to clutch at his clothing, where his heart would be underneath his skin and bones, where he kept Cameron's image, his love, his smile and his song. Like he was still with him.
The very thought caused Samuel to twist his expression into that of great concern, and Hannah to scramble closer to the brunette in order to hug him tightly. They both knew mentioning the nerd was the worst possible thing and decided to avoid it from now on.
Yeah you sure left your mark
we were just gettin' started
Damian trailed to the piano that was set during the 'Like a Virgin' homework assignment, thinking heavily about his "lover" or so what may have been.
He sat himself onto the stool, and lifted the guard of the keys. Pressing onto the porcelain ivory notes, he let out a sorrowful chord in his voice, singing out his emotions as he pressed the most sorrowful tones he could obtain on the piano with his little experience in instruments.
"What do I do now that you're gone,
No backup plan no second chance
And no one else to blame...
all I can hear in the silence that remains
Are the words I couldn't say..."
Damian stopped; he wasn't the biggest Rascal Flatts fan so he could only memorize that one chorus, over and over playing in his mind. He knew that if maybe he did better, then he would have never been in the bottom three. Then maybe, maybe Cameron wouldn't leave?
Maybe... He never fully understood the reason he left, but just made a faint smile and a fake attitude when they decided to pull together for the final episode of CDTV, maybe not the final but the final one where they would always be together, always...
It wasn't long enough
it wasn't long enough together
but it was long enough
yeah it was long enough
to lastforever.
Cameron held onto his girlfriend tightly when arriving home, taking in her scent and all. He clenched his eyes tighter but they snapped open almost immediately. He didn't see Hannah or Samuel but his mother and father; he didn't see Lindsay, or Alex which he felt rather guilty for seeing Alex in place of his sister.
"Robert?"
His mother looked at him, worriedly.
"...I'm fine, mom, sorry."
"Son, ya' crying?"
He lifted his hand to realize his father was right. Wiping them away he plastered a fake grin onto his face.
"Just trigga' happy, that's all!"
Cameron clutched a little harder to his girlfriend, leaning into her embrace. It didn't have the musky Irish scent, whatever an Irish scent was... it wasn't Damian's.
They weren't together long enough, but in his head, he could try and make it last forever.
Sometimes I get so mad
I scream, I swear at this...
Damian thrashed out at Lindsay when she tried to "comfort him" – to Damian it was flirting, it was too close, it wasn't Cameron!
Lindsay held her scarlet cheek with a disgusted scowl on her face, her shoulders held firmly and comforted by Samuel.
"What the hell, McGinty?"
Alex chimed in, he did enjoy Lindsay's company and they became great friends.
"Yeah, Leprechaun, what you think you're doing bitch-slapping a mate, huh boy?"
Damian just pushed past Alex's chunky figure, cussing under his breath and into the practice choir room in which he took hold of the drum set's cymbal and hoisted it out and round knocking over the drums. He kicked and shoved chairs all while screaming and crying, he toppled over after about five minutes of destruction and chaos, giving into his emotions and curling up like a child scared of the dark.
'Cause this isn't how we planned it
I sit here in a cold moon
Cameron sat outside the porch of his home, looking at the night sky to see a clouded moon. It used to look serene, beautiful compared to the raging sun but it was more cold and dull in his eyes. A once calm, inspiring environment turned stale and heartless.
His thoughts wandered off, he wondered how the Glee Project was.
"How's Hannah, I wonder, and Alex..."
"I bet Lindsay is doing well, she's a spark ready to ignite..."
"I just know Samuel will be okay, he's confident and strong enough."
"And... D-Damian..."
His voice wavered a tad; he cast his brown eyes to his sneakers. It wasn't how he wanted this... He wanted the boy to be happy, to have a chance and Cameron knew he didn't belong on the set of Glee as it is. So, why?
Why was it all going wrong?
Prayin, waitin' on you!
Damian didn't pray, if he did it wasn't a true one.
He kneeled in front of his bed frame, clutching his hands to pray in the formal position. He prayed hard, and true.
He prayed for Cameron.
He prayed he'd wait for him.
He prayed to win, for Cameron.
He prayed that Cameron truly did love him.
He didn't stop praying until he dozed off, lying half on the mattress still kneeling.
Cameron looked up at the moon and took a hold of his cross, staring with vigilant eyes.
He prayed, true with good virtue.
He prayed for Damian.
He prayed Damian would win.
He prayed for forgiveness in loving another man.
He prayed that God would allow this love.
He prayed that Damian would find him, one day, and waiting.
They both prayed...
For each other.
To run back though that door
to the way it was before you left.
Damian went to Cameron's empty bed that morning, and looked under it for any sign of his belongings. He only found a chipped lens of a spare set of glasses and a wooden cross attached to a set of rosary beads. He placed the lens in his back jean pocket and the rosary was tied to his wrist in a safe manner. When leaving the room, with sad eyes he saw the door. That dreaded door in which many left, and never returned. He glowered at it for what seemed forever as if the blonde was to come running through, demanding his place back with Damian. It wasn't going to happen, was it?
It wasn't long enough
it wasn't long enough together
but it was long enough
yeah, it was long enough to last forever.
No, it wasn't long enough.
Damian knew that, they only just realized their feelings when Damian sparked jealousy. Cameron knew but refused to act on it, convincing himself otherwise.
But they knew, he knew, Damian knew.
Damian held the cross all the way through rehearsal, singing with pure and raw emotion.
Damian would find Cameron, he vaguely knew where he lived after all, and he'd take the older man away, to Ireland. No.
To a place they'd never be interfered with again, where it'd last forever, their love that is, and their song. Them.
I've been cheated, defeated can't believe that your gone.
The others still could see the determination in Damian's eyes when they performed. That made them smile a bit but with the loss of Cameron it had hit them all, especially the girls. They all loved him as a friend, he was easy to get on with and a fun person all-round.
They felt a little cheated, losing their friends and it was hard to believe one of them was going to leave again, it was already too difficult to understand how many had already left.
Bryce, Ellis, Emily, McKynleigh, Matheus, Marissa and now Cameron... How defeated they must have felt, how cheated out their effort and the disbelief everybody felt behind.
It was different with Cameron though, he quit voluntary. Not eliminated. Quit. It was hard for everybody to believe.
"It wasn't long,"
Both vocalists sang their hearts out.
"It wasn't long enough."
The notes rang with emotion so raw and passionate.
"It wasn't long enough,"
Neither could care for those who could hear, they weren't there to them both.
"It wasn't long enough!"
Just each other, connected but not truly there.
"No, no, no..."
Mentally reaching for one another, images and visions.
"It wasn't long enough,"
Each chord, each note, each tone rang with more emotion than the last.
"It wasn't long enough together..."
A song of lost hope, torn love and aching hearts.
"But it was long enough,"
The blonde ran his fingers through his own hair, wiping tears out of his eyes as he did so.
"Yeah, it was long enough,"
The Irish brunette held the microphone tightly, Glee Project or not, this was his song, his moment, his feelings and his time.
"To last to last to last forever!"
Bellowing out the second to last line, their throats burning they faded ever so slowly...
"No, it wasn't long enough..."
Into their last line.
Was it truly long enough?
Rascal Flatt's Forever and Words I Couldn't Say belongs to them, not me.
Damian McGinty and Robert Cameron Mitchell doesn't either, wish they did. ;D