Shimako dreamed of a vengeful mother. The serene woman whom she had loved for so many years became a monster at night. The statue's eyes glowed red as it spoke, lips unmoving, of sin. Every night she begged tearful whispers for forgiveness from the edge of her bed, and once a week she asked for it from a man behind a screen.
The prayers, of course, never escaped her in public, but she often forgot how easy it was for her sœur to read her mind. Noriko had memorized the nature of Shimako's brow, the curve of her lips, the grace with which she held a cup of tea. If anything changed, a warning seemed to ring in Noriko's mind, and she was not at peace until all was well again. Lately her methods of calming her had become more intimate: squeezing Shimako's hand under the table at Yamayurikai meetings or walking to the bus stop with one arm around her. Even the reserved Shimako had learned to lean in to her protector and smile almost genuinely, knowing the worry that she was causing.
On the most recent occasion they were alone together in the Rose Mansion before a meeting. Noriko was hurrying to prepare for the others' arrival and noticed, when setting out her tea, that Shimako's mind was elsewhere, in an apparently unhappy place. Noriko touched her shoulder and turned to look in her eyes when nothing changed. There was a faint smile like that of a corpse or a doll - alien, painted on. She couldn't stand to see the feigned happiness on such a beautiful face and immediately sought to wake the absent girl the way she had learned from a storybook prince. Noriko hardly knew what she was doing as she leaned forward, her hand caressing the silk of Shimako's hair, and pressed her lips over the terrible false smile.
Tears plagued Shimako's cheeks as she pulled away. Dread rose to Noriko's face in a red blush as she fought her own welling eyes.
"Oh."
"Noriko..."
The doorknob turned with an intrusive creak, and Shimako wiped her eyes hurriedly as Rei's long legs crossed the threshold, flanked by a giggling Yoshino. Shimako pretended to be straightening the roses by the window, and Noriko busied herself with tea for the two arrivals.
"I'm sorry, but I need to excuse myself for a moment before we begin." Shimako bowed and left the room before she could be protested. Rei opened her mouth briefly but didn't speak until she was gone.
"Noriko-chan."
"It's nothing. Just a misunderstanding. I apologize."
Yoshino narrowed her eyes. "If you've done something, Noriko..."
"Yoshino-chan, I'm sure that Noriko can work this out. I'm sure she'd never-"
The knob turned again, and Yumi and Sachiko entered with Touko trailing behind, speaking softly to the returning white rose. Shimako appeared a little worse for wear but smiled softly at her sœur as she entered. Noriko smiled back awkwardly and returned to the teakettle, avoiding all eyes for the rest of the meeting.
"Sauto-sama, tha-"
"Just Sei-sama... Noriko-chan."
"Sei-sama, thank you for meeting me. I know you're busy."
"Busy? Well, I'm done with... Anyway, Noriko-chan, what seems to be the problem? I take it this involves our mutual sœur."
"Y-yes... Shimako-san is a very pious girl, right?"
"Yes."
"She plans to join a convent after high school?"
"...Yes, I think so."
Noriko simply nodded and looked away, contemplating her next words. Sei sighed internally. The look on her face was familiar.
"Noriko-chan... You love her, don't you?"
The response was a reddening of Noriko's cheeks and ears.
"Does Shimako know?"
"Probably."
"Listen, Noriko-chan. I like your hair the length it is now." She disregarded the obvious confusion with a wave of her hand. "I'm going to tell you something, and it's going to sound rather harsh, but I need you to listen. Is that okay?"
She nodded.
"Graduation is coming soon. The next school year, you will all be older. The third-years will be thinking about their plans. If you have any hope for a future with Shimako, you must talk to her before she makes a decision."
"But it won't change anything, will it? If Shimako-san wants to become a nun..."
"I'm not quite sure, but... Noriko-chan, it will come out. The only difference is whether you discuss it now, when she still has time to make the decision for herself, or in a year when it really won't change anything."
Sei had stood, her palms driving into the table between them, and most of the café was aware of the frightening woman. Noriko stood as well, only a couple inches from Sei's height, and nodded.
"I understand. Thank you, Sei-sama."
Sei only nodded, not meeting her eyes, and Noriko bowed and headed for the door.
"Oh, er... Noriko-chan?"
"Yes?"
"Please keep in touch."
They both smiled, Noriko with a nod and Sei with a peace sign from her long fingers, and Noriko left.
The air was suffocatingly hot, and the Yamayurikai was suffocatingly busy through graduation. Noriko didn't see much of her sœur, and it was not an easy job to keep Yumi's tears and Yoshino's angry defiance at bay. So they made it to summer without much to speak for it, and Shimako fought with herself in anticipation of her last prayer of the year to the Maria statue that had plagued her dreams for so long. She was lost. It would be selfish to pray for direction. She was alone. It would be selfish to pray for the companionship she had effectively turned down.
She closed her eyes and pressed her palms together. Tears were forming again behind her lids. She issued a small sob and bit her lip to silence her personal desires.
The wind had begun to blow. Most of Lillian was gone. She opened her eyes and pulled out a handkerchief.
"Hold still."
She jumped at the familiar voice and held her body rigid as her eyes and cheeks were dabbed by Sei's handkerchief.
"Onee-sama..."
"Let's sit somewhere, shall we?"
They of course found their way to the back steps facing the unripe ginkgoes, Sei taking one thin, trembling hand in her own. They hadn't spoken for months.
"I had a conversation with Noriko-chan recently."
"Onee-sama..."
"She's a very cute girl, isn't she? And very headstrong."
"Onee-sama, I..."
"Ah, yes, you picked well. You clearly have a type, Shimako."
"Onee-sama, please tell me what she said."
"Hush, Shimako," Sei whispered, taking her sœur into her arms in a very rare display of affection. "Noriko-chan loves you. Isn't that wonderful?"
Finally Shimako broke. Weeks of crying into her bed during prayers for forgiveness exploded in Sei's shoulder. She couldn't speak, but in her head she was repeating, "Don't touch me, Onee-sama...
"I'm so dirty."
