Disclaimer- I still don't own Batman the animates series. If I did you'd probably notice.
A/N- My contribution to a challenge that Madam Pegasus and I are doing.
It's about how the Mad Hatters technology was stolen in the episode. "Make 'em laugh." I'm doing the Jokers P.O.V
This is also my version of how the Jokers mind works. If you're wondering why it's extremely strange.
How to Make 'em Laugh
It was a typical night in the Arkham common room. Poison Ivy was watching another show about plants. Two- Face was brooding and continuously flipping that coin of his, while the Riddler was working on another crossword puzzle. The Mad Hatter was playing a game of chess with the Scarecrow, on the other side of the room.
The Joker however was glaring at newspaper.
How dare those hacks... He fumed to himself, glancing down at his open newspaper. The pictures of the three judges for the upcoming Laugh off competition were staring up at him. Even with his own drawn on mustaches and glasses, he still didn't find them funny.
"Lousy no talent ..." He muttered to himself as he bunched the newspaper into a ball and tossed to the other side of the table. They shouldn't even be holding the stupid contest. It was obvious who the true king of comedy was in this town.
Himself of course. He deserved...nay he wanted that title.
And what he wanted he would get...
But how...?That was the million dollar question. He supposed he could just escape and enter the contest in disguise, but that would be too ordinary, too boring...and far too much work. He shuddered at the thought. Besides, this was revenge after all. What was the point of revenge if you were disguised the entire time?
That was a stupid plan, he'd have to remember to fire the idiot who'd come...oh right...that had been his idea. Oh well, you can't win them all...
.
Now back to the task on hand. Maybe he'd just get rid of the judges...replace them with a few hired goons...yes that would work. But now, he thought rubbing his hands together, the fun part. How was he going to get revenge on those three talent blind judges...? His laughing gas was too good for them...death was to good for them.
Although an extremely painful one would be nice...perhaps poison? He looked over at Poison Ivy. She always seemed to have some type of poison laying about. However she saw him looking and glared at him.
"What do you want clown face?"
He held up his hands with mock innocence. "Nothing...nothing.." Turning back to the table he wondered how Harley was friends the woman. What was that saying? The friend of my accomplice is my enemy? No, he frowned to himself that didn't sound right.
The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Well Ivy was a self proclaimed enemy, who was her enemy...Batman.?
The very thought that the Bat would be of any help sent him into peals of laughter. This quickly earned him glares and shoats to be be quiet from the rest of the inmates in the room.
"Fine." He muttered, going back to his thoughts. Well poison was out. Anyway what fun was it to kill someone? Not when you could humiliate them...or scare them?
He looked over to see the Scarecrow, mournfully playing chess with his head in his hands. No that was right, he'd just been captured again. There wasn't much of a chance he had any fear gas made...Such a shame.
The Joker drummed his fingers on the table. What to do, what to do?
That moment all the inmates attentions were drawn over to the observatory window facing the hallway.
Two orderlies were dragging a man down the hallway in a straight jacket.
"You can't do this to me!" The man covered in what might have been paint splatters was yelling in a shrill voice. "I am the Artist. I'll leave my mark on this world yet! My name will go down in history..."
Ivy rolled her eyes at the spectacle. "Great, another amateur."
"Probably wasn't even caught by the bats." Two-Face muttered darkly.
"And if he was." The Mad Hatter put in. "I dare say he didn't put up much of a fight."
All the other inmates nodded at this but as the yells of the newest criminal faded they returned to their mostly solitary pursuits.
.
The Joker however was smirking. He loved it when the new arrivals came. They made such easy targets...they really did. Very few of them ever made it into the ranks of what could be called...real criminals. Most ended up as the laughing stocks of Arkham as well...
At this thought the Jokers smile grew even bigger, if that was possible. Wouldn't it be the biggest joke of all if he could turn those three idiots into criminals? Horribly pathetic criminals at that. He just needed some way to...control them. His thoughts were broken by a voice.
"Oh frabjous day!. That's another checkmate Johnathon."
And as he looked over at the self proclaimed Mad Hatter...he felt the beginning of a plan growing. And despite the glares from the rest of the inmates he felt he had to laugh.
It was only two days later but the Joker had to admit that his plan was meeting with a few snags. The most important being...he still couldn't separate that Hatter from his stupid hat!! It was clear that's where the mind control band was located but he still hadn't figured out a way to get at it without alerting the Hatter himself.
Perhaps it was time to give the Hatter a taste of his own medicine...?
-
This thought was what brought him to Arkham's library.
It wasn't much of a library as it was formed mainly from the requests of inmates. This meant that it was composed almost solely of psychology books for the Scarecrow, gardening books for Ivy and joke and comic books for Harley.
The Joker however wasn't anywhere near the non fiction section. He knew that the Mad Hatter had hidden some of his mind control cards in the library, he just had to find them.
"And Bingo was his name-o" He smiled as he picked out the book he'd been looking for.
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
.
Unfortunately it seemed that the Mad Hatter was smarter then he'd thought. As even after searching through the entire book the Joker still couldn't find what he was looking for. With a sigh he threw the book over his shoulder, it had been a good guess.
Now if he was the Mad Hatter where would he hide something...?
.
It took a little longer then he would have liked but he eventually came upon what he'd been looking for.
They were inside a book titled The History of Tea which looking back on it, really wasn't that much better of a spot then that Alice book.
He managed to sneak the cards out from the library. Right under the eyes of the guards who escorted him back to his cell.
This was the night that everything was going to happen. It hadn't taken much working to get a distraction set up for the night. The Joker wondered if anyone would get to the temperature controls for that Freeze guy's room before he melted...oh well it's not like it mattered. It made a a good distraction anyway.
With most of the orderlies and guards trying to retain order, it was almost too easy for the Joker to get out of his cell. It was even easier to break into the confiscation room. In fact the hardest part was restraining himself from taking everything or blowing the place up so no one else could use it. However in the end he managed to get his focus back. The goal this time was simple, he could come back for a shopping spree later. Or a killing spree, whatever he felt like doing then.
Though there was the distraction going on the Joker still had to keep to the shadow of the asylum. It wasn't that hard as the building seemed to create it's own ominous shadows, regardless of the weather.
With the ease that only a practiced criminal has, the Joker made his way silently through the building to the cell he was looking for.
"Say good night Gracie..." He couldn't resist quipping as he sent a now open cannister of sleeping gas rolling into the room. He shut the door quickly. Tapping his foot in time to a tune in his head, that only he could hear, he waited for the gas to take effect.
-
It didn't take much time and soon the Joker was making his way into the room with his bag of tricks. In the confiscation room he had managed to grab the supplies he would need. The microchips he'd found, though stuck to the back of those infernal cards, were quite small. So making sure that the other occupant of the room was really asleep the Joker set about to his task.
Sticking the microchip onto the Mad Hatter and getting it to stay was the easy part. The hard part was trying to use the right amount of the makeup he'd stolen so that it wasn't visible.
"and viola.." The Joker smiled when he'd finished. Holding up his thumb and giving the spot an appraising look. With that done he took the hat from the Hatter's head and unceremoniously took the the mind control band out and tossed the hat to the side. He looked down at the asleep/mind controlled Hatter.
"Now we simply can't have that." He said making tisking noises at the emotionless face as he placed the band on his head. "Lets have a nice big smile..."
He watched with growing laughter as the Mad Hatters expression grew to match his own.
"That's more like it! Now why don't you just stay asleep." He turned the man to the side so if you looked in it would look like the hatter was sleeping. "I'm sure someone will find you...eventually..."
Taking the mind control band he put it into his bag with his other things, then made his way to the door. He'd make a quick escape from this rat hole and then gather up a few accomplices. Then?...
Well then the fun began...
And off he went into the night, the echo of his laughter remaining long after he'd gone.