Of All Things to Give to You, I Offer This…
by PitViper
08/26/2002

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Disclaimer: I don't own Eva. Gainax does, and so does ADV and Manga, and probably a few other people as well. The point – I'm just playing in their universe. Don't sue me please.
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Author Notes:

Well, here was my poor effort directed at the WAFF contest. It got more votes than I expected, so that's good. I figured since it didn't end up dead last, I would post it to FFN at least. :D I hope you enjoy it.

Well, enough jibber, on with the fic.

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There was a lone person standing at the entrance of Apartment 402. The female figure pondered the door before her, but was uncertain of how to proceed. Something was not quite… right. There was an odor in the air, an odor that this person could not comprehend nor identify. Her mind attempted to dissect and analyze the odor from her repository of memory and knowledge.

She knew that the smell was not that of LCL. It was also not the smell of blood, urine, feces, or any other bodily excrement. The scent was sharp, laced with an antiseptic – she could identify the odor from her many sojourns within the NERV hospital and through its sterile corridors. And there was a familiarity about the smell, but she could not place it.

Still, the figure turned her head downward, making her blue hair shift on her scalp. Of course, the hair was of no consequence to the young girl – as long as her vision was unimpaired and her freedom of movement unrestricted, then her hair was fine the way it was. Her blood-red eyes turned to the knob on the door, her pupils dilating slightly as the light shifted in the hallway from the setting sun. Rei's hand went out, finding its way unerringly to the lever handle of the door. With a quick snap the handle responded, and the Child observed the entranceway to her domicile.

She was a Child, one of the chosen – an Evangelion pilot. The fact that she was the First Child made no difference, it was simply enough that she was a pilot and that Evangelion was her purpose. As she ran recent events over in her mind, she found it increasingly difficult to maintain that detachment and perspective. Of course, looking at the enigma known as Ayanami Rei, there would be no display of her thoughts on her features. Had a concussion grenade gone off in the hallway, many doubted that the First Child would even twitch – unless it was in annoyance at having her personal, private time interrupted.

Unconsciously, Rei's hand went to her neck, tracing a line across her school uniform blouse collar. While it was almost invisible, there was something beneath that fabric. As her finger pressed the fabric of her shirt against her skin, one could see a thin line - A thin, almost invisible, line that ended in a very tiny bulge at the midpoint between the beginning of her cleavage and the base of her neck. As she moved the fabric slightly, a glinting of metal was revealed for the briefest of moments. It was a simple flash, a quick reflection of light that revealed a small pendant between the top-most buttons of her uniform shirt as her breathing and motion of fingers separated the fabric. Her finger found the silver metal and touched it for a few moments, and her eyes became distant as she thought back to the moment it found itself upon her neck.

In an almost hazy, dreamlike state, Rei remembered his words – the words of the one who had given this to her. 'My first gift,' she reflected. She wanted to smile at the memory, but years of masking her emotions forced her face to remain placid, although at the time she looked upon the object with, what could be considered for her, unrestrained curiosity.

She remembered as the boy, another of the Children, gave her the small gift. A plain white box - No markings of any kind marred its perfection. No hint that anything of extraordinary value was contained within.

-

It was a unusually mild and calm summer day, one of those rarities in the eternal summer that was the post Second Impact world. A young boy quietly observed the First Child from a distance, not wanting to disturb her. He watched as she simply stared at the small book in her hands, seemingly content with it. But the boy knew that she wasn't really paying attention to the book, and if one were to be an invisible observer, they would see her eyes darting around the world, seemingly absorbing every aspect. Only when someone walked near enough to make out those two delicate red orbs did her eyes move back to her tiny book.

'She loves nature… she simply wishes to be a part of the world.' The boy thought, as he looked at her. Then he glanced nervously down at the small white box in his hand. He moved hesitantly down the steps, being as quiet as he could. He was within a meter of her when he made his only misstep. His shoe brushed against a small rock, which made a tiny noise as it scraped against the concrete.

Shinji knew at that moment that there was a pair of crimson orbs now gazing in his direction. As Shinji looked up from his feet, his blue eyes met her deep red ones. "A…Ayanami?"

"You wish something of me, Ikari?" The girl asked expectantly. Normally, any other person would have gone unnoticed by the First. As Rei watched the boy reflexively gulp, Rei decided to make an observation. "You have been watching me for quite some time. Is there something wrong?"

"Um.. n…no." Shinji shuffled his feet somewhat.

"Then why are you nervous?" The girl asked, tilting her head slightly. The movement caused the boy to blush heavily.

"I…" Shinji gulped, "I have something for you… a… 'thank you' for what you did for me."

"You have already thanked me." Rei said, emotionlessly, "Why would you want to give additional thanks?"

"B…Because, Ayanami." Shinji shuffled his feet some more. "Because, I… I care for you."

Rei blinked, "I… Do not understand? You appear to be… afraid?"

"I… I'm worried that you won't like what I have bought for you." Shinji Ikari said, looking at the box. He debated over and over in his mind whether to give the item to Rei. Finally, his sense of honor overrode his fear. The gift was for Ayanami. He owed her a debt of life; this was but one small way of beginning to repay that debt. Of course, the fact that he was enamored of her didn't help the situation. He moved the box out in front of him, walking closer to Rei as he did so. "H…Here. Please, Ayanami, take it."

Rei stared at the box for a few moments. It was a small, plain, white box. But to the young albino-skinned girl, it would have seemed that the object was made of the purest gold and encrusted with the most valuable of gems. The First child had her gaze frozen on the box, as her body remained in its position.

"Please," Shinji begged, "Accept this?"

Rei suddenly remembered her duty, and the sense that there should be nothing more important than Eva in her life. She looked away. "I… cannot."

"Please?" Shinji said, hoping against hope. "I… I only ask this of you. It is my wish that you have this."

Rei suddenly moved her head back, but instead of gazing at the box, she gazed into the Third Child's eyes. Her voice dropped to the lowest of whispers, "I do not deserve this, but if it is your wish… then as you wish." Shinji moved closer to her, his hands holding the box as though it were the most delicate thing in the universe. She held out a hand, and felt the weight of the box as was placed within her grasp.

For several long moments she just sat there, gazing into his eyes as though they were the windows of the classroom they shared. 'What is it I see in Ikari's eyes… what is that flash? An impulse timed with the rapid beating of his heart, a glance that delves as deeply into my own soul as I attempt to delve into his. What is that? Is it really there, or is it my imagination?' Finally her glance fell to the diminutive weight in her palm. Her fingers slowly and delicately wrapped around the object, feeling every edge, every contour, as though it were something fleeting, something to be experienced once and never again. The First Child, unlike her name, did not have many 'Firsts' in her life. This was one of those rare occasions, and she wanted every instant committed to memory – a memory that eternity could never erase.

"Go on, Ayanami, open it." The brown haired boy urged the hesitant First Child.

Rei still hesitated, looking at the box. Did not the boy understand? This was something that was perfection incarnate. The box was perfect. To open it would make it less perfect. She secretly enjoyed mystery, for there was very little mystery in her life. Everything was defined, everything ordered. There was only that which was necessary, and that which was required. Everything else was extraneous, below her attention. But, for some unknown reason, she could focus on nothing else but this one, simple box.

Just as Shinji was about to ask her to open it again, Rei's curiosity and rationality won over her need to preserve the mystery. The box lid was delicately lifted, slowly and painstakingly, until what was within was illuminated by the sunlight…

It seemed as though the world stopped with Ayanami's held breath. For instants that felt like eternities, everything seemed to quietly observe the moment that box was opened. Even the cicadas stopped their incessant chirping, eliminating any distraction from this precious moment. Rei's eyes blinked in three groups of triplets, before she finally released the breath she held. Whatever revelations that came of that brief instant, however, were soon lost to Ayanami's mask. Every door into her life, every window, every crack was covered and shuttered.

Shinji's heart stopped beating as she held the box out to him. "A…Ayanami?"

"Take it." She said simply.

Shinji held out his hand, and the box was gently placed in it. His eyes found his feet. "I… I'm sorry Rei."

"Ikari." She said firmly. "Look at me."

Shinji looked up and blinked several times. Rei had unbuttoned the first few buttons of her blouse, revealing her neck and a bit of her shoulders. The ribbon was held firmly in one hand, ready to be tied back around her neck in a heartbeat, if necessary.

"Ayanami?" Shinji asked.

"I…" Rei looked at him, "It's a necklace, correct Ikari?"

"Yes." Shinji said.

"I require your assistance; it must be placed around ones neck, must it not?"

Shinji smiled, "Yes. That's where it belongs. Around your neck."

"Then please," Rei said, turning around slowly, her fingers brushing away some hair from the back of her neck, "place it upon my neck."

Shinji quickly reopened the box, and removed the delicate chain. As he slowly removed the pendant, the necklace caught the light of the sun and reflected it in a billion directions. He struggled a moment with the clasp, finally undoing the small mechanism. He approached Rei slowly, moving the necklace over her down turned head.

Rei watched as the necklace slowly descended before her eyes. The small pendant – a rose made of silver or platinum, twinkled in the light as it followed its path and settled around her neck. She felt the warmth of Shinji's hands as he placed the metal delicately about her skin and straightened the thin silver rope with his fingers; slowly moving his hands back along her neck until his fingers came to the clasp and quickly bound the two pieces of metal together.

Rei fingered the pendant, cool against her skin despite the sun beating down. Shinji walked in front of her as she fingered the necklace.

"Thank you, Ayanami. It looks beautiful." Shinji said, causing the girl to meet his gaze.

Rei blinked three times, "Why would you thank me?"

"B…because I was worried that you wouldn't accept the gift."

Rei looked back down at the necklace, "It is… agreeable."

"Do you like it?" Shinji asked, getting a soft nod as an answer. "I'm glad."

Then Rei did something unexpected, and looked up at him, with a small smile on her face. Shinji gasped, for he had only seen this smile once before – the fifth angel. Where as that time he had asked her to do it, this time, Rei did it on her own. Somehow, that made the experience all the more sweet.

'A real smile,' Shinji thought, and looked around the world, with its life struggling to find normalcy after such a long time. 'She smiled, at me…'

But like all moments of beauty, this one was destined to end quickly. Rei's face went placid, as she put her mask back into place. Soon Hikari came down the same steps that Shinji had, "What are you two up to? You're fifteen minutes late for class! Sensei sent me to go looking for you!"

Rei, having noticed the Class Rep's approach, had already done up her school uniform. No one would be able to tell that seconds earlier it had been undone down to the third button. Without saying a word, or displaying a single emotion, Rei Ayanami made her way back up the steps.

"I'm waiting for an answer!" Hikari yelled. "Do you know how much trouble you're in, Shinji?"

Shinji shrugged, cowering slightly before the belligerent Class Rep.

"You'll be holding buckets until you're old and grey…" Hikari started, but was interrupted by the soft voice of Ayanami.

"He had to… give me something private." Rei said softly, from the top of the stairs. The voice was barely a whisper, but Hikari heard it as clearly as though she had been standing next to her. By the time that Hikari had spun around to yell at Rei, the girl was gone. Hikari blinked several times before turning back to Shinji.

"What did you give her?" Hikari asked him, gently.

"A… A thank you gift… for having saved my life during the Fifth Angel's attack."

"Well, you could have given it to her in class, or after school…" Hikari said, looking around. "But I can understand why you would want to do it now."

"She's a very private person…" Shinji said, "She wouldn't have appreciated a crowd."

"That was sweet of you, Shinji. But you know you're still going to be punished for being late."

"If it means holding buckets until the end of the day, it was a small price to pay." Shinji said, meaning every word of it.

Hikari nodded and began to walk back up the steps with Shinji in tow. Rei watched from above as they left, her finger tracing her neckline where the silver necklace lay.

-

So now Rei stood at the entrance of her apartment. Shinji Ikari was within her domicile, for the smell of cleaning products assaulted her nostrils. She walked in slowly, looking around her now uncontaminated apartment. She walked forward, looking at everything as if for the first time.

"GAAHHH!!" An exclaimation from beside her attracted her attention. Rei spun to face the intruder in her home.

"Ikari," Rei said softly.

"S…Sorry… Ayanami. I came over, wondering if you wanted to study… and decided to clean when I saw you weren't here." The boy practically whimpered. "Please, please, don't be mad with me Ayanami…"

Rei looked at her apartment again, noticing the clean bathroom, the clean bed, all her clothes had been picked up… 'Was that a wooden floor?' Rei asked herself. Meanwhile Shinji was still begging her forgiveness.

"I'm sorry, but…"

Rei looked back at him, and bowed her head. "T…Thank you."

Shinji was still sputtering when he finally heard the words. "sorry…sorry… Huh?"

"Thank you, very much, Ikari." She said, then fingered her chain again, "Thank you."

Shinji got up off his knees… "U…Uh, would you like to study for the test tomorrow, Ayanami?"

Rei nodded, not speaking. The First Child knew that she would not participate in the test tomorrow, but it was important to Shinji, "As you wish."

-

Gendo Ikari stood in Unit 01's Cage. He stared at the behemoth before him, a loving look in his eye. The bay was devoid of people, except himself. After all, the Unit was in perfect repair, and the Magi could monitor the system with a far greater margin for safely if there were no human beings to get underfoot should the beast awaken on its own.

"Today, Yui, I saw something." Gendo stared at his closed hand, willing the energy from his body to try to bring back his long-lost love from the abyss of Unit 01. "I didn't say anything to Rei. She wouldn't have answered. I have the feeling that it would be the only thing she would ever deny me… but I didn't have to ask. I knew."

Gendo's hand opened revealing a small silver rose pendant, on a delicate silver chain. "God, Yui, how I miss you, so much it hurts…" He looked back up at the mecha, and gave a brief smile, "What do you think, Yui… is… is this the wrong path?"

The mecha, having no pilot and no power, stared blankly into the distance, not giving any sign that it recognized Gendo's presence.

"If there was any other way… I would take it in a heartbeat." Gendo's hand closed around the pendant. "Alas, poor Yui, I'm afraid that there is no other way."

Gendo Ikari walked purposefully from the bay, not bothering to look back at the gigantic purple mecha. Had he looked, though, he would have probably found his answer in the almost gentle glow that filled Unit 01's eyes for the briefest of moments.

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Author's notes:

Ok, this is a one shot (With the possibility of continuation - if it's wanted). I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading. If you have any questions or comments, you can email me at (pvalpha@yahoo.com), and reviews are always appreciated.

And I'd like to give a quick thanks to Alnilam Orionis for giving this fic a quick once-over. Thank you.

Ok, I just changed a couple words in this that I felt didn't belong. Other than that, its the original as posted for the WAFF-a-thon :D

Thanks,
PitViper