I don't trust easily. Even before coming to the Destiny there hadn't really been anyone I could confide in. My life had become a world of deceit and half truths. After my wife's death I stopped caring about what people thought of me. The problem with that approach to life is eventually people stop trying to get close to you. I thought that was what I wanted. It turns out when everyone goes away you end up alone. Being alone means too much time to think about what you've lost. So I buried myself in my work. Then one day I met her. Doctor Amanda Perry. I did something I never dreamed I'd do again. I let her into my world. I couldn't tell you exactly when it happened. One day I was bouncing ideas off of her, looking into her perfect blue eyes, and I realized my wall was gone. With her I was myself. I wasn't hiding with her. She brought out a part of me I thought had been eaten away by grief. She made me laugh. She even put up with me calling her "Little Miss Brilliant." I originally believed she only pitied me. I just recently came to realize how wrong I had been. I wish I had given myself to her that night I found out how she felt about me. But I held back. I had been broken again, and here she was putting me back together. It seemed Mandy was always doing that. She might not have been able to walk in her own body, but she made me fly. Doctor Amanda Perry was the most brilliant and amazing woman I have ever had the privilege to know and love. She is the only person I had allowed myself to trust in a very long time. I wish I had told her all of this when she was still here. I wish I had told her that I liked the sound of "Mr. Brilliant." I wish I could have kissed her when she was in her own body. I know to her it was broken, but I never saw her like that. I was the broken one. She was the glue keeping me from falling apart. But most of all, I just wish we would have had more time. There never seems to be enough time.
Dr. Nicholas Rush bent his head over the paper he had been writing on and closed his eyes. He felt a tear leak from the corner of his left eye. He let it trickle down his cheek and heard it splatter against his words. Words that he would never speak outside of this room. They were only for Mandy. Nicholas didn't really believe in the afterlife but today he wished he did. If anyone deserved a happily ever after it was her.
He looked up at the ceiling and whispered. "This is for you, Mandy."
Nick began to read out loud what he had finished writing only moments before. And just for today he allowed himself to believe for just a few minutes that she was listening.
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