Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Star Trek TNG, The Legend of Zelda, Dragonball Z, or anything else I randomly put in this fanfic, but forgot I did. I do own, however, my original character Lightning.
To any fans of this series that may exist…..: This will be the last of the You've Just Crossed the Line! parody/adventure series. After this, I too will have crossed the line, the line from parody into (hopefully) epic adventure.
To the reviewer NarutosBrat: Thanks, that's exactly what I wanted to hear. No, seriously. I started the You've Just Crossed the Line! series in order to test the waters; to see if I could write a parody that people would enjoy before once again attempting the much more difficult genre of Adventure. Your review is similar to how I would describe one of my favorite televised parody series, Robot Chicken. And that, to me, is mission accomplished. Enjoy the last of my parodies, because it gets serious after this.
You've Just Crossed the Line!
No. 3
Full Circle
Previously on You've Just Crossed the Line! No. 1 and 2……
" Sakura Haruno." The newcomer stated, "My name is Lightning, the Author's alter ego. And I'm afraid that you've just crossed the line so……YOU MUST DIE!"
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The laws of death were reversed for .0000345th of a second, long enough for Itachi Uchiha to come back to life.
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" Simple, actually. The Author tried to trap me in the tenth dimension. But Kishimoto, the Almighty, has decreed that an Uchiha cannot be permanently forced into an alternate dimension." Sasuke gloated as the rest of his team caught up to him.
And now, the conclusion.
Forest of Death Tower
The wind in the forest of death began to pick up as two titanic foes stared each other down.
" Wait a moment, wait a moment, time out!" Suigetsu ordered, " Do any of you realize how sloppy and retarded the author's style is? I mean for one, how can both sides view each other when there's supposedly a huge freakin' steel wall between us?!"
Lightning's eye began to twitch as Suigetsu continued his rant.
"Oh, and what about the math work in the story before? Twenty plus twelve does not add up to three dozen!"
"Suigetsu can do math?" Karin whispered to Sasuke
"I was unaware of that myself." Sasuke whispered back.
" CAN IT BACK THERE!!" Suigetsu suddenly shouted at the two, startling them for a moment. " Now where was I? Oh, yeah; and what about-"
Lightning, deciding that he had had enough, disappeared from the story for a moment.
" And let's not forget the Author's choice of snack food! SNYDERS PRETZELS SUCK!!"
Anko, the very same Anko who scares the crap out of half the village, paled white at that statement. " Itachi, we need to hide. Now!"
And about three seconds after Anko and Itachi ran like hell itself was chasing them into the tower, several strange words boomed throughout the forest.
" IMA FIRIN' MAH LAZOR!!"
A huge white "lazor" beam shot out of the sky and roared towards Suigetsu, who only had time to shout, " What the fu-!" before a nuclear mushroom cloud appeared where he once was.
Just Outside of Konoha
Just before the blast the six Pains, plus Konan, appeared before the walls of Konoha. While Nagato, controlling his small army about five miles away was set on his decision, Konan wasn't so sure.
" But Nagato, what we face someone whose power levels are over 9000?" Konan asked in concern.
The lead Pain, Deva Pain, replied, " And mine aren't? Besides, that line has been used too much in this series already Konan, so do not mention it again."
Disclaimer: Over 9000 never gets old!!!!
" Whatever…." Pain mumbled as he began to think of a way to get around Konoha's detection sphere.
Then, the explosion occurred. Deva Pain yelled for Konan to get behind him as the shockwave approached. As the explosion was about to hit, Deva Pain used the Shinra Tensei to shield himself and Konan from the blast. And as for the other Pains, they were hit with objects varying from chunks of the Village wall, to dead….cows; they were quite dead indeed.
Back at Ground Zero
Silence.
That was the only sound heard after the colossal explosion that destroyed the Ninja Continent and killed ALL of it's citizens. Well, several people were still alive at least. Anko and Itachi crawled out of an underground bunker that was the last remnant of the Forest of Death itself. And Sasuke, unfortunately, survived because of his massive main character shield given to him by Kishimoto.
The three surveyed the damage, the wasted landscape before them. It rather looked like the surface of the moon, or perhaps the planet mercury in the real universe. The lazor hadn't created a crater, so the land was flat for miles on end.
" How, how could anyone do this?" Anko asked, horrified.
" And I thought he was an alright guy…." Itachi said in a low voice.
" It's ironic, isn't it." Sasuke said, causing the other two to look at him. " In his quest to destroy my team and I, he killed nearly everyone else and still missed his main target."
Itachi and Anko nodded in grim agreement.
As they stood in the center of the wasteland, Lightning reappeared beside them.
" YOU!!" Anko roared as she threw kunai and snakes at him.
" Huh? Wait, what the hell…." Lightning said in a confused tone of voice.
Anko let up on the kunai and snakes just long enough to let him see what he had wrought. She then started throwing poison kunai while both Itachi and Sasuke fired streams of Amaterasu fire at him.
" Wait! I didn't mean for it to be that strong! I just-" Lightning shouted as the three continued to assault him.
" You just lost you temper, didn't you. Over some silly little snack food? Well playtime's over!" Anko roared as she summoned an army of highly venomous snakes.
Lightning reached for his sword, only to discover that it was gone! Moments after that realization, he was hit with the black flames of Amaterasu. Following twenty seconds of excruciating pain, he knew no more.
???
Lightning moaned as he felt himself lying on a cold, brightly lit floor. Wait a second, he thought to himself, if I died, then how am I…
" Still alive?" A contempt-filled voice answered his thoughts. " No, you savage beast, you're merely awaiting your trial."
Lightning jumped to his feet, and discovered he was surrounded by a laughing, jeering crowd. And just in front of him, a man sat on an elaborately carved throne of sorts which was slowly moving towards him. Wait…..not a man, Lightning realized, but…..
" You're Q! But I thought….."
" I'm touched that you know about us." Q said mockingly, " But as your puny mind fails to realize, the Continuum is not bound by space and time. Now, for the matter at hand; you. You were given an immense amount of power. You could have done many beneficial things with such power. BUT YOU DIDN'T!"
The crowd surrounding Lightning began to laugh even harder at him.
" You, just like the rest of your savage, primitive species would have, used it to destroy! Did it ever occur to you that you weren't even supposed to exist in that realm!"
" It's not my fault-"
" Oh, it's NEVER your fault! You pathetic beings always are quick to put the blame on somebody else when the finger is pointed at you. Alter ego or not, you fail to grasp the true purpose of reality, of existence." Q finished as he pointed his finger at Lightning.
Time seemed to slow down as Lightning stood in the "courtroom". There was no way around it; Q was right. He had acted as a monstrosity at the end, destroying the ninja world, and now he had to reap what had been sown. He, himself had crossed the line.
Lightning began to feel weak at that realization, and he fell to his knees.
" Q, I agree that all my actions were as you described them as." Lightning said solemnly, while Q raised his right eyebrow. " But, I beg you; my actions were influenced by my other half. If I were to be separated from him, and were free to make my own choices-"
Q began to laugh.
" Look at him beg! Pitiful. I had made my mind up before you were even transported here. You are guilty, and shall be destroyed."
The crowd roared in savage triumph as Lightning hung his head.
But before Q could annihilate Lightning (or before the author could write some crap up to get rid of Q) a powerful female voice cried out, " STOP!!"
A golden light filled the room, eliciting gasps from the crowd. Lightning raised his head and also let out a gasp. Before them stood……….
" Oh, damn it all. It's that Nayru from the Hylian universe." Q complained.
Nayru extinguished the golden light, and then surveyed the room. She shook her head slowly and then uttered, " Q, I have said this several times before but I do not approve of your methods."
Q got out off of his throne in a rage.
" What now?! I took your advice last time and tested that starship captain, Picard. This one, however, is beyond the need for a trial. Did you notice what he did to an entire world? For the sake of some silly snack food?!"
" I noticed." Nayru dismissed his rant.
" Well?"
Nayru stared at Lightning, gazing at him as though, and probably could, see the character of his very soul.
" I see……" She said to herself
Nayru began chanting in rapid Hylian, casting some sort of spell.
At Author Sage Lightning's Home
" Ugh. First Sasuke, now Q. What's next, Ganondorf?" Sage Lightning moaned.
Then a voice said, "Close, but not quite."
" Wha-"
And at that instant his computer exploded, forever severing the link between Sage Lightning and his alter ego.
Back at Q's Continuum Courtroom
" It is done." Nayru stated. " Lightning's conscience is now entirely his own."
As she said that, Lightning felt oddly light. He no longer craved pretzel pieces, or wanted to destroy Q in a fiery explosion. His mind was at peace.
" I will never be able to repay this debt to you, Nayru. Thank you." Lightning humbly said.
" ……There is a way you can repay the debt, and prove yourself at the same time."
" Whatever it takes."
Nayru stared at the ceiling for a few seconds.
" Earlier, I was not only judging your soul, but also glimpsing into what would have occurred without your interference. ……the ninja world would have suffered the same fate."
" Preposterous!" Q proclaimed.
" Am I not the Hylian goddess of wisdom?" Nayru asked. Q remained silent, a defeated look on his face. "Then let me explain."
Lightning listened as Nayru proceeded to weave a tale of the summoning of a ten tailed demon known as the Juubi. A man, Madara of the Uchiha clan, tried to control its powers. But the demon proved too powerful, and instead it completely engulfed the ninja world in fire and darkness. Everything had been destroyed.
" And as I watched the events prior to the summoning, I saw hope. Hope in the form of a ninja-sage. His name was Naruto Uzumaki. And while he was of strong will and pure heart, many people around him were not. The Elemental Countries, out of misunderstanding and greed, attacked each other in a series of petty wars, and in the chaos, he was captured and used to summon the great demon. Had it not been for the wars, he surely could have led the nations to defeat Madara before he summoned the Juubi.
" And that is where you come in, Lightning. If there was another Sage to help hold the nations together, perhaps all may not be lost. For if the Juubi were to be summoned……then every universe will be at risk."
Lightning stared at the floor for a moment, and then said " You make this task sound so easy, and yet what could possibly hold a bunch of feudal ninja states together?"
Q suddenly chuckled, " Not bad, Nayru. And as for you Lightning, that is your test; and to negate some of the risk to the timeline, you will not remember anything before and during this meeting."
" Good luck, Lightning." Nayru added.
" Hey wait! How will I kn- ahhhhh!!!" Lightning started to ask, but was stopped short by the fading away of his body.
"…………Your real trial has just begun." Q's voice echoed across space and time.
THE END……
OF ONE STORY, AND THE BEGINNING OF ANOTHER
A circle may have no beginning or end, but it can add another to become something else entirely different.
Comments, praise, criticism? Press the review story button below before the Juubi escapes and destroys the multiverse!! ( In the next story, that is.)
Juubi: My very presence will disintegrate your puny bodies! MWHAHAHA!!
Naruto: Can it, will ya! You haven't even been summoned yet!