Eye Of The Storm
Rated: PG
Category: Angst, Daniel/Jack Friendship, Daniel POV
Season: Seven
Spoilers: Lifeboat
Summary: Daniel Must Weather The Storm
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It's dark here, but at least it's warm.
Warm counts for a lot, seeing as every time I try to leave this place I'm blasted by a cold that seems to strip away my flesh and leave me exposed to a chill unlike any I've ever known.
I'm safe here.
It's not where I belong, but I know it's the only secure place left for me.
Still, sometimes I wonder…
I venture out again, trying to see if the danger has passed.
The second I do, they assault me like waves on a rocky shore.
Some, like Keenin, are barely ripples. Tryan is a steady wave. The hurricane that is Martice lashes out at me with a force that sends me reeling.
I cannot fight them. There are too many. Their forces add and overcome me.
I retreat. There's nothing else I can do.
I must stay here.
I cocoon myself in the warmth of this place, shutting out as much as I can.
I succeed.
I barely hear Janet's voice when it challenges Martice. I see nothing.
But suddenly there's something new here that I cannot ignore.
I don't know what it is, but it's insistent.
I reach outward with a fraction of myself, and instantly I know the source of the new sensation.
Jack is here.
But something is wrong.
And then with the suddenness of a summer squall, gentle Keenin roars up at me like a lion.
He tries to be brave, but inside he screams out at me.
"I don't want to die! Father!"
He's scared, and the fear of this child vanquishes me more completely than Martice's raging bellows ever could.
I try to recoil from it.
I try to hide.
I only want to run from it, to save myself.
But I can't. I look on with morbid fascination.
I stare into the face of a father.
I see pain like I hope to never know staring back at me.
And in the background, in the distance, I see it doubled.
Jack!
I scream in silence in my prison.
Janet! Don't let him see this! Sam! Drag him out of here! Don't let him watch another father lose another son! Teal'c! Someone! Help him! Help me!
Jack!
Please. Go. Leave me to see this alone.
Please.
No one hears me, and he doesn't go.
Two fathers watch, knowing the son will die…knowing they cannot stop it.
Both know it's a noble sacrifice, but the thought brings little comfort.
I rage against the others, trying to break out of my box, but they unite against me. Even Keenin will not let go. He clings to his father with a strength that belies his young age.
I can't blame him. He only wants a minute more. Just one more moment to say goodbye.
I understand, all too well.
I cannot fight them long.
I retreat again, pain coursing through me like tiny rivers of ice.
It's dark here, but at least it's warm.
XXX
I'm alone.
It's still dark, and there is still pain, but somehow it's changing.
My head pounds with a force like a thousand hammers.
At first it seems the same, but then I realize the waves are gone.
I can no longer hear the steady pulsing of the others.
And I realize it really is my head that hurts.
My head.
I have a head?
If I have a head, I must have eyes.
No sooner do I think this then brightness attacks me.
I groan without thought.
A face appears, concerned.
Jack!
He heard me!
They can hear me!
My head explodes again with a pain that sends sparks behind my eyes, but I don't care.
I'm me.
My friends heard me.
All is well.
XXX
They released me today, under orders to go straight home and rest.
But there's something I have to do first.
I do not pretend to understand or remember all that has happened to me in the last few days.
I only know that as I look down upon the grave of a friend's son, I'm not surprised to see an obviously new gift there.
I set my offering next to it and step away.
XXX
Eventually, I find my way home.
I'm not surprised at a loud knock on the door hours later.
It's Jack.
He's angry that I snuck out of the mountain and drove myself home.
But he forgives me.
He always does.
We talk for a bit, and while his eyes seem a little more haunted than usual, he smiles sometimes.
So do I.
It's no longer dark, but it's still warm.