If Ryan Atwood had learned anything from the eighteen years he'd lived, it was that promises are meant to be broken.
He started learning this lesson when he was merely ten years old. While most kids his age were busy playing outside or cleaning their rooms, Ryan was told to clean the house. While most kids were excited for their fathers to come home from work, he dreaded it more than anything else in the world. Especially on Fridays. Fridays meant that his dad went out drinking with his friends after work, and usually came home late and so drunk that Ryan swore you could smell him before he walked in the door. Ryan would always wait in his room, listen to the footsteps get closer and closer to his door, and try desperately to seem like he was asleep. It never worked though, and his father always opened the door and started yelling.
He'd pick Ryan up by the shirt and hit him across the face, yelling something always about how he was a disappointment, or how he hadn't cleaned correctly. Whenever his father would yell, he'd feel the spit flying onto his face, see the yellowness of his teeth, smell the alcohol on his breath. He'd continue his blows to Ryan's ten year old body, and then he'd walk away like nothing had happened and go off to find more to drink before going to bed. Ryan would always crawl under the covers, and try his best not to cry. If he was caught crying, it would only be worst the next time. Crying was for girls, not for men, as his father always said.
His father would always apologize in the morning and promise it would never happen again. Ryan always knew otherwise though. He always knew what was going to come whenever his father came home from a night out with the guys. He'd always do the same thing, it was always the same routine. But as much as he hated the beatings, the yelling, the being able to not cry, his father…he always hated his neighbors more for knowing what was going on, but not saying anything. He always hated that he was never strong enough to take on his father. He always hated promises.
When his father got arrested, his mother promised things would be different. He believed her for a while too. They moved to Chino, and he befriended a girl named Theresa next door. He started living a semi normal life for once. He went to school and started playing outside and finally believed that things were going to look up. Then one day he came home and saw his mom with some other man. This man had many tattoos on his arms and mangy hair. He smelt of beer and bad B.O. The minute he saw the guy's face, he knew that things hadn't changed despite what his mother said. He knew that he'd get beaten again, that he'd go back to living the way things had been with his father.
It didn't take long for it to happen either. This new guy moved in and before he knew it, he was getting hit for being in the guy's way. He was kicked for annoying the guy. He was thrown against walls for even breathing in the presence of this guy. And all the time, he looked at his mom who just drank and drank, never trying to stop the guy. He glared at his mom, and felt the hate rage within his veins for his mother. He grew up angry, beaten, lost, alone. He promised himself that he'd never let anyone hurt him again.
He started to fight back.
Whenever his mom's boyfriend tried to hit him, he literally beat him to the punch. Whenever kids at school tried to pick a fight with him, he always made sure that they were more beaten than he was at the end. His trademark was a shiner on his face, and everyone knew that he was a force not to be reckoned with. He was suspended numerous times, but he didn't care. He never got close to anyone, well, except for Theresa. Theresa promised that she'd help him, that she'd take away the pain, that he was always welcome in her home with her and her mom. Theresa was the one he'd pour his soul out to, and she was the one that offered him the bag of peas whenever he was done with a fight. But every promise is supposed to be broken, so eventually, Theresa couldn't take away the hurt anymore. He could take physical pain, but he was never good at taking emotional. It hurt him too much to know that his mother didn't try to protect him.
He was hurt, again, and he knew that he could never stop that.
One day Trey promised that they were going to escape from their hell hole of a life. They were going to steal a car, despite his best protests. He ended up getting into the car last minute, they ended up crashing and going to jail. Trey had broken a promise. He didn't believe in promises anymore. He'd lost all hope for people. He didn't trust anyone.
When he met Sandy Cohen and when Sandy offered him a place to stay for the weekend, he suddenly had a small ounce of hope again. Sandy was off talking to his wife, and he walked to the bottom of the driveway, and then he met her. Marissa Cooper, easily the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. She gave him a smile, and he knew that despite his promise to never let anyone get close to him again, she would have to be the exception. And eventually she was. He ended up falling for her, he ended up staying at the Cohen house. He ended up getting his life back on track. Him and Marissa got together after a while, he became like a brother to Seth, Sandy and Kirsten were the parents he'd never had. Suddenly, he believed in the power of promises again. He got back together with Marissa and promised himself that he'd never let anyone hurt her. He'd take away the pain, make her stop drinking.
But then of course, he got another promise broken to him. Marissa broke the promise, she hurt him. He had broken the promise to himself to never let anyone hurt him again. This time, everyone hurt him. No one believed him when he said that Oliver wasn't stable, that he needed help, that they needed to stay away from him. Suddenly everyone hurt him all at once and it was more than he could handle. Promises were broken, hearts were shattered, hopes were slashed. It was back to the way things used to be.
Over the next couple of years, things would get good, and then get horrible all over again, just like a roller coaster. He'd get back together with Marissa, then break up, then get back together. It was hard, having hope that him and Marissa could be together and then it getting taken away. Always though he'd make sure that no one touched her, that no one hurt her. He had promised himself that he'd never let anyone do that after all. So when Trey attacked her, he went after his brother, even if it meant that he would almost kill him in the process. When the Dean started pulling her out of the carnival too hard, he made sure that he made the Dean stop. When Volchok tried to touch Marissa, he made sure that it was known that he'd never let anyone hurt her. He wouldn't break this promise, he was sure of it.
And then came graduation.
They weren't together at the time and Marissa's dad Jimmy sent a letter with a plane ticket as a graduation present. He wanted Marissa to go on a boat with him for a year to Greece. Marissa accepted the invitation, and slowly started to say her goodbyes. They went to the Model Home with Seth and Summer and spent an afternoon forgetting their troubles. It was probably the perfect way to say goodbye. They shared memories and just talked about everything and nothing until Marissa said that it was probably time for her to go. Seth, Summer, and Marissa all said their goodbyes.
Ryan found Marissa in the Model Home later on, sobbing. He walked up to her and they started talking. After a while she asks, "That night, did you ever think we'd end up together?"
He watches her, and smiles the slightest bit. "Are you saying it's over?" He sees her laugh slightly and then he says, "Cause you never know, right?" She nods, and that's all that he needs to know in order to let her go to Greece, in order to let her leave. They continue talking, making peace for everything that had ever happened between them. They were finally free, finally able to move on from all the drama. Too bad she was going to leave.
Too bad it was the last night he'd ever see her.
They started to head for the airport, and he was kind of dreading when he'd have to drop her off. He wasn't ready to say goodbye to her just yet, he knew he could, but he didn't want to. She promised to keep in touch, and then suddenly there was honking behind him and the headlights of a car. It started speeding up, it rammed into them. It was Volchok, looking for revenge. They ended up rolling over, and he was knocked unconscious for a little while.
When he woke up after a few minutes, he could feel heat and smell gas. He knew that the two were not a good combination and started to get out of the car. "Marissa?" He asked softly, turning to see her unconscious. When he got out he saw the flames and the gas dripping and it made him quicken his pace. He walked to her side and said, "Marissa?" He got her out of the car and took her further along the road. He held her in his arms and again said, "Marissa?" He repeated it over and over again.
She slowly opened her eyes and weakly said, "Ryan…"
"Okay, I'm going to go get help." He said, starting to move.
"No…don't leave me." She said weakly.
"Yeah, I gotta go get help."
"No, stay." She said, holding onto his shirt weakly. "Don't leave."
He stayed. He watched her die in his arms, and he cried. He cried that they would never be together again, that he'd never be able to see her smile or hear her laugh. He cried that he'd never be able to kiss her or make love to her late into the night. He cried that he wouldn't be able to look into her eyes and read what she was thinking or that he'd never be able to hold her close to his chest and whisper into her ear how much he cared for her. He cried because he loved her and damn't, he cried because he hadn't been able to keep his promise and that he'd let something happen to her.
But of course, promises are meant to be broken.