In a Nutshell
In the court room, Freezer was sitting his lazy butt on his thrown, drinking a lot of wine, since he was so small, he got drunk so easily, it was a way for him to escape all the hardships and failed missions.
"Zarbon get the hell in here!" yelled Freezer who then belched really loudly.
Zarbon ran into the room, he was out of breath, how could you blame him? He was exercising with Apple and Kiwi, his two best friends in the universe and his babysitters when he was just a young boy.
"Freezer what's wrong?" asked Zarbon catching his breath.
"Tell me something Zarbon, does everyone love me?" asked Freezer belching even louder, heck if Zarbon would have done such a thing, he would be punished.
"Well to be honest with you, first of all some of your men hate you, no woman wants to sleep with you, Cooler and his men despise you, the people of this planet disagree with you, and I myself and some other people hate you!" Zarbon said tactlessly, if any time were better for him to be honest with Freezer, now was the time.
Freezer got excited, after all for him it was a good thing for people to be afraid of him, it was the only thing that kept him and his family in power, "They love me!" he yelled excited.
Zarbon looked confused, "Yah something like that! Everyone thinks you're an arrogant, selfish, snobby brat! I think so too!" Zarbon then covered his mouth, perhaps he overdone it.
Freezer got mad, "Oh do they?"
"Yes they do!" yelled Zarbon again, he was only nineteen years old, so he was at that age where people went to college and tried to figure out who they were going to be when they got older, Zarbon's fate was already sealed. He was a little rebellious, he did not want to be general for the rest of his life, and he was a teenager for Christ sakes!
Freezer got even more pissed off, he had something up his sleeve even before he got drunk, now was the perfect time to tell Zarbon, "That does it! Zarbon you're being too honest with me! Just for that, I'm forcing you to go to the Ginyu Force Campus to take lessons of being a proper solder! " Freezer said.
Zarbon's eyes grew wide, "You don't mean from the infamous…."
"Yes Captain Ginyu himself!" Freezer said.
"Wow I heard many rumors that he's a fearsome wacko! I heard a rumor that he made someone stand on their head until they barfed!" Zarbon said.
Freezer smiled, "Yes it's true that he's ruthless and stubborn and has some interesting techniques I'll tell you that much." Freezer chuckled.
"Please don't send me there! I'm too young to die!" yelled Zarbon getting on his hands and knees.
"You haven't met him have you?" asked Freezer.
"No I haven't but I want to go to college, it's a wiser and more proper decision!" Zarbon said.
"You're going and that's final!" yelled Freezer breaking his wine bottle against the thrown and pointing the sharp broken edges at Zarbon.
"Man I hate you!" yelled Zarbon.
"You're grounded!" yelled Freezer.
"You're not my real father!" yelled Zarbon. He was so pissed off that he ran through the metal sliding doors, smashing it to bits.
Freezer was now cheesed more than ever, "Zarbon!" he yelled.
A few days later, Zarbon was outside in the field with some other young men and two women, he stuck out like a sore thumb, literally he was the only primal changeling there, everyone else were regular changelings like Freezer. He wore some back metal Sayain armor, not his original style. He wasn't dressed very stylish as usual, instead he only wore hoop earring.
"I hate this." Zarbon said.
A young man named Karl was looking at a magazine with Zarbon on the front cover, he then saw Zarbon, looked at the front cover again and looked at Zarbon again. He realized that Zarbon was the one on the cover, so he sneaked up behind him. "Hey don't you model?" asked Karl curiously.
"How did you know?" asked Zarbon.
"I've seen you on magazine covers." Karl said.
Zarbon sarcastically smiled, "Oh good, congratulations, now you're seen me in person. I used to model, but I'm not allowed to anymore, Freezer said so." Zarbon said.
"Can I have your autograph?" asked Karl.
"Later, so what's your excuse for being here?" asked Zarbon.
"Well I joined on purpose, my name is Karl and I all ready know your name!" Karl said.
Zarbon smiled sadly, "Yes unfortunately my name is Zarbon Mustashi, nice to meet you." He shook hands with Karl. "I could have gone to a good college, but no Freezer made me come here!" Zarbon said all mad.
All the sudden a big, tall purple man with horns sticking out of his head jumped in front of everyone, it was the one and only Captain Ginyu! "Hello everyone!" he yelled.
Zarbon got scared, "Help hide me!" he then hid behind Karl.
Karl smiled, "Relax he's nice, he won't hurt you!" Karl said.
Zarbon then gasped, "But what about the kids that have to stand on their heads until they throw up?" he asked.
Karl then laughed, "That's only the bad kids that misbehave!" Karl said.
Captain Ginyu then got even more excited, "Ok class I'm ready are you?" he asked doing a few back flips in front of the whole class.
"I'm out of here," thought Zarbon who tried to sneak away.
Captain Ginyu caught sight of Zarbon trying to get away, "It looks like we have a new student, say hello to Zarbon Mustashi!" yelled Captain Ginyu.
"Hi everyone, wow he's really enthusiastic isn't he?" asked Zarbon faking a smile.
"Ok now we're going to do the Ginyu Pose!" yelled Captain Ginyu. He then bent down and stuck his leg out. "Ginyu, we are the Ginyu Force!" he yelled.
Zarbon turned very purple he had never been so embarrassed in all of his life. "Now everyone do your own pose!" Captain Ginyu said.
Zarbon decided it was time to leave so he raised his hand, "Excuse me sir I just remembered my wife's having a baby, I need to go to the hospital, see you tomorrow!" Zarbon then ran off faster than you can say quicksilver.
"He's not married is he?" Captain Ginyu asked.
"I don't think so." Karl said.
It was as if Zarbon set off a chain reaction because the next thing you know Lobster raised his hand, "I need to go to the bathroom be right back!" he then ran away.
"Yah me too!" yelled Simone and ran off.
"I just remembered I have a dentist appointment, can't be late!" Sarah then ran off.
"Oh I have a job interview to go to, sorry can't stay!" Martin ran off.
"Oh I just remembered I have to go to a cousin's birthday party!" Fork then ran off fast.
Captain Ginyu was puzzled because nobody had ever done such a thing while he was teaching class, he looked at Karl, "So you're the only one here other than me?" he asked.
"It would seem that way sir." Karl said.
Meanwhile behind the big university building Zarbon and everyone else were cracking up, "God Zarbon that was the best excuse ever, I haven't heard one that good in years!" Lobster said laughing and gave Zarbon a high five.
"Yah that was cool!" Martin said.
"Thanks, so you all want to go eat somewhere?" asked Zarbon.
"Sure!" Simone said.
Later on outside the palace, Zarbon drove his black corvette, parked it, and walked up to the palace. Freezer was waiting outside thumping his foot on the ground; his tail was thumping as well. He held a half folded piece of paper in his hand. "Oh Zarbon may I see you in my office alone?" asked Freezer.
"Which one?" asked Zarbon smirking.
"Don't be a smart-ass!" Freezer said.
In Freezer's office Zarbon was sitting down at the desk in a chair while Freezer was walking back and forth, "Yes you wanted to see me?" asked Zarbon.
"Yes, I got a note from Captain Ginyu saying some students made up excuses to leave the field; I believe you were one of them!" Freezer then pounded his fists on the table.
Zarbon jumped, "I don't know what you mean!" he said.
"Then you'll believe me when I tell you what your excuse was to refresh your memory! You told him that your wife was in labor!" Freezer said.
"Well I could have." Zarbon said cracking a smile.
"You don't have a wife do you?" asked Freezer.
"No sir I don't." Zarbon said.
"So did you not just make up some lame excuse that wasn't even true just to get out of his class?" asked Freezer enraged.
"Yes sir I did, I'm sorry but was going to make us do that stupid, retarded Ginyu Pose! I had to save myself from embarrassment!" Zarbon said.
"Tomorrow you will go up to Captain Ginyu and apologize do I make myself clear?" asked Freezer.
"Yes sir and I'll tell him the truth." Zarbon said getting up about to leave.
"Oh Zarbon I have something else I want to talk about, sit down." Freezer said.
"Yes what?" asked Zarbon sitting back down.
"I don't blame you for being angry at me, I'm terribly sorry. It seems like you're the only one who's honest with me in the first place. I appreciate it." Freezer then started kissing Zarbon's neck.
"Sir what have I told you in the past about sexually abusing me?" asked Zarbon.
"You know something you look just like your mother, beautiful, nice but stubborn and honest." Freezer said.
"But my mum had long black hair and brown skin." Zarbon said.
"I sure was right, you grown more beautiful every day." Freezer said.
"Yah well I'm not my mother, and let me tell you something else! You have no right to touch me like that!" Zarbon then got up and walked out of Freezer's office.
The next day Zarbon walked up to Captain Ginyu, "Sir I want to apologize for making up some lame excuses yesterday, I'm not really married I'm sorry." Zarbon said looking down at the ground.
"It's okay," Captain Ginyu said.
Zarbon then thought, "Gosh he sure is forgiving," then he said aloud, "Well Freezer made me do it, and can I ask you something else?" asked Zarbon.
"Yes what?" asked Captain Ginyu.
"You see Freezer was scolding me yesterday and he did some weird things too." Zarbon said.
"What kind of weird things?" asked Captain Ginyu.
"He kissed my neck like I was his lover or something, then I had a nightmare last night and I just can't repeat what happened." Zarbon said.
"Tell me this dream that you had?" asked Captain Ginyu.
"Well I was naked, in chains and Freezer came out and started raping me, then I woke up and it was just so awful!" Zarbon said.
Captain Ginyu looked like he was about to shit his own pants, "First of all he shouldn't be telling you stuff like that and touching or trying to make out with your neck! I don't get the dream though."
"That's nothing, I once had a dream that a planet was in chains, and Freezer was above it and it exploded. I also had a vision that Freezer and Cooler were fighting over the universe." Zarbon said.
"Are you some kind of psychic?" asked Captain Ginyu.
"Sort of, I'm actually a sorcerer I conjure demons up so some weaklings who work for Freezer can fight them." Zarbon said.
"So how did Freezer kiss you?" asked Captain Ginyu.
"Like this," Zarbon then started kissing him passionately on the neck.
"Ok, ok I get the point stop it!" Captain Ginyu said.
"That's not the only thing Freezer did to me, I lost my virginity to him when I was a little boy, and he forced sexual intercourse on me." Zarbon said.
"How long has he been doing this to you?" asked Captain Ginyu.
"Since I was five," Zarbon said.
"Why that son of a bitch, we'll talk more about this after class! This has been a very interesting conversation, ok class listen up! We're stating on the poses again!" Captain Ginyu said.
Martian raised his hand, "Can I go to the bathroom?" he asked.
"No potty breaks! I'm not falling for that one again! Zarbon who was the ringleader here will go first!" Captain Ginyu said.
"Ok!" Zarbon said. He did a back summer salt and landed in style, "Zarbon! We are the Ginyu Force!" he said.
Martin then said, "Say if he could do it then we can do it!" he then did a spilt jump and landed on his penis hurting it, "We are the Ginyu Force!" he said in pain.
"You were supposed to say your name!" Captain Ginyu said.
One by one, the students all did their Ginyu poses and said their names and all that, then it got to Karl who did a triple summer salt in the air, and landed in style, "Karl! We are the Ginyu Force!" he yelled.
All the students booed at him and threw their lunches at him show off, "Now he's trying too just like the rest of you, so be nice!" Zarbon said.
The rest of the class continued doing their thing with the Ginyu Poses and then Captain Ginyu said, "Excellent, ok class is over you may all go home!" he said.
All the students went home except for Zarbon, "You wanted to see me?" he asked.
"Yes Zarbon, I must admit that you got the class to open up, they wouldn't do it until you came along." He said.
"Well I do my best sir!" Zarbon said.
"I'll make you a deal kid, since I like you so much, I'm going to go to Freezer myself and teach him a lesson!" Captain Ginyu said.
Zarbon's eyes grew wide, "No that would be a big mistake!" he said.
"Relax I'm just going to rough him up a little bit, let's go!" Captain Ginyu said and Zarbon reluctantly followed him.
Freezer was in his office, all the sudden Zarbon came in, "Hello Freezer!" Zarbon said.
Freezer jumped, "Zarbon I have no called upon you!" he said.
"Oh I know, a friend of mine just thought that you needed to be taught a lesson." Zarbon said.
"Friend, you don't have any friends." Freezer said.
All the sudden Captain Ginyu did a forward summer salt into the room and did the Ginyu Pose, "Ginyu! I'm the Ginyu Force!" he said.
"What is he doing here?" asked Freezer frowning.
"I haven't a clue sir." Zarbon said blushing.
All the sudden Captain Ginyu picked Freezer up and punched him in the face, "Zarbon here tells me that you have been touching him sexually! It is true, is it true?" he asked.
"God damn you Ginyu, how dare you strike me!" Freezer said.
"You may be the emperor of the universe or whatever you are, but you have no wisdom! Zarbon is too weak to kick your ass; it looks like I'll have to do it for him!" Captain Ginyu then threw Freezer across the room. "You should be ashamed of yourself, come on Zarbon we'll report this to Cooler and King Cold!" Captain Ginyu said as he walked out of the room.
"Sir, that's not such a good idea!" Zarbon said following him.
They walked into the throne room where Freezer's father King Cold and his older attractive brother Cooler were sitting on their thrones. Cooler immediately stood up, "Stop, what is the meaning of this?" he asked.
"Your brother has been sexually abusing Zarbon since he was five!" yelled Captain Ginyu.
"Well that's nothing new." Cooler said.
"What?" asked Captain Ginyu.
"Yes Freezer himself told me, I have been telling him to knock it off but he won't do it." Cooler said.
All the sudden Freezer ran into the room, "Captain Ginyu I'm about to kill you in minuet!" Freezer said with his eyes glowing as they were about to shoot lasers out of them.
All the sudden Zarbon got in the way, "No Freezer! You need Captain Ginyu, I know he's a goofball and he is a bit strange, but he's caring and fun to be around! You need him as a teacher for your low-level solders! I can't think of a better person then him!" Zarbon said.
Freezer's eyes then stopped glowing, "Good point, but it's none of his business that I had sex with you!" Freezer said.
"Ew that's gross, aren't you like his adopted dad or something?" asked Ginyu.
"Captain go home I need to have a talk with Zarbon," Freezer said.
"Yes sir right away," Ginyu almost left, but then took Zarbon aside and whispered to him, "Thanks for saving my skin." He then left.
Freezer walked up to Zarbon and slapped him in the face, "You whore why did you tell him! You know that anyone that lives outside the palace is never to know about our sexual encounters!" Freezer said.
"But what you did to me when I was a child was wrong, I know it, Cooler knows it, even my ex baby-sitters knew it!" Zarbon said.
"He's right you know, I mean having sex with children is really disgusting and so un ruler like." Cooler said.
"You stay out of this Cooler! As further punishment you have to spend a month at the Ginyu Force Campus, since you sicken me so much you have to pack what you need and spend the night in Captain Ginyu's room!" Freezer said.
"Oh I don't want to sleep in his room!" Zarbon said covering his eyes up.
"You should have thought about it before he came into the office and slapped me around, get out of here I don't want to see you for over a month!" Freezer said kicking Zarbon in the leg.
"Yes sir right away!" Zarbon then ran out of the room.
The next day Zarbon packed what he needed and went to stay with Captain Ginyu for over a month, Captain Ginyu graciously welcomed him into his home, and he did not hurt him or do anything the Freezer did to him when he was a child.
The day after that, as the low level trainees were doing their poses, Zarbon was sitting down with Captain Ginyu and watching them, Zarbon was now officially the assistant coach.
Zarbon put his sunglasses on and sipped some tropical Martini, after all the side of Planet Freezer he lived on was a tropical climate, and it was a very hot day, "Ah this is paradise, I don't have to take over planets for that power hungry Freezer!" Zarbon said.
Captain Ginyu had his sunglasses on too, "Yah tell me about it." He said.
Two girls walked up to them, "Oh Zarbon, if I was in your position I would kiss you." A hot primal changeling named Sarah said.
"Now Sarah that's up to Captain Ginyu," Zarbon said.
Captain Ginyu spited on a pina colada, "Do whatever you want! You're the assistant coach!" he said.
"Well feel free to express your feelings!" Zarbon said.
"Oh Zarbon!" she then started kissing him wildly.
"Well I'll say that was nice." Zarbon said.
"Oh me next, me next," Simone said.
"Kiss Captain Ginyu first, and I'll give you the wildest kiss you ever laid your lips on!" Zarbon said smirking.
"Ok!" Simone then started making out with Captain Ginyu and then stopped, Ginyu was surprised, "Wow how did you do that Zarbon?" he asked.
"Easy, I can make a girl do anything for me! Come on kiss me fool!" Zarbon said to Simone.
"Ok that sounds great!" she then killed Zarbon on the lips.
Zarbon and Ginyu had in lipstick markings all over their faces, "Ah nothing gets better than this!" Zarbon said.
End of story