A/N: Hey! This is my first time posting on FF. I've written, but never finished-which is why I'm putting it up. So there's more incentive. I'm really excited about this; it's a fill for the GKM [ http :/ glee-kink-meme (.) livejournal (.) ? thread=19235324#t19235324 ] that I was just immediately drawn to. It's short and tame for now, but I figured more chapters faster than fewer coming at a slower rate. I'll feel like I've done more than I actually have! Yikes. Eventual M. Trigger warnings (character death, depression, mention discussion and contemplation of suicide-not too heavy if I can manage it though, etc.) If you've actually read all of my blathering, two Rachel Berry gold stars for you! You go, Glen Coco. :0)
Kurt barely has time to squeeze his eyes shut before he's hit full in the face with the screaming cold of a grape slushie. He doesn't cry out, only hunches his shoulders and bows his head, willing it to somehow avoid his white shirt as he hisses out a shaky breath. He slowly wipes it from his eyes as the boy lumbers off, high-fiving his friends. Their loud, booming laughs resonate through Kurt, setting him on edge and making his bones ache. He sighs heavily and turns back to his locker to grab the towel he'd learned to keep stored there, hoping this meant he would be left alone for the rest of the day. He was wrong.
Kurt gasps as he's crowded against the wall with a sudden push between his shoulder blades, throwing out his arms to brace himself, jarring him harshly but keeping his face from making contact with the metal for once. Unbidden, a small whimper slips from his mouth and he knows with a chilling certainty just who that hand belongs to. He turns his head to the side, reluctant to face the dauntingly huge boy behind him, but somehow afraid not to. Karofsky's wide, doughy face suddenly fills his vision, contorted with a look of utter disgust, like he can't believe Kurt even dares to exist. His mouth twists with into a smirk, but his eyes are still blazing angry, daring the smaller boy to do something about it.
Kurt stays silent, and the caveman-like form eventually retreats with a dirty look and the word 'fairy' flung at him like a promise of never relenting until Kurt breaks from the weight of it.
This is his every day. He wakes up, makes a tally of the bruises littering his skin while he showers, pulls on his borderline baggy jeans and a crew necked t-shirt and heads downstairs. He'd once loved fashion. He still does, but he'd had to learn to dress to blend in, because his tight pants and asymmetrical seams had gotten him nothing but harder shoves and slushies dumped on his head and down his back. It wasn't worth the struggle. He goes downstairs and grabs his backpack, and is pulled into a too-tight hug by his father before he heads out the door.
He can tell how hard this is for his dad. He knows that he's all but disappeared from the household, hiding out in his room as soon as he comes home every day. It's not that he doesn't love his dad—that isn't it at all. It's that he doesn't have the heart—or the courage—to tell his dad what's wrong. Tell him how he's basically tormented every single time he steps foot on campus. Tell him that the people who've set out to destroy him—especially Karofsky—aren't far from succeeding.
He's always quiet on the way to school. He usually brings a book and reads, so Finn doesn't feel awkward at the silence. He isn't even allowed to drive to school right now, because his tires have been slashed three times already and new ones are really expensive. It's just better for him to give up that piece of his freedom so he doesn't have to see the pained look on his dad's face when he has to come and get Kurt from school because he can't drive home. The only thing that brightens his days even a little is glee club, and then it's war-torn with drama and he's stopped fighting for solos, happy to stand in the back inconspicuously and harmonize with whoever Finn seems to be dating this week. He endures Mr. Schuester's worried looks, but brushes them off and is sure to leave before he can be held back to talk.
He's spiraling downwards, almost numb to it all. That is, until everything is thrown into sharp and terrifying relief when one day Kurt finally works up the nerve to make a last effort at being left alone. He convinces his dad that he needed his car for today because Finn was going out on a date with one of the two girls. He's practiced what he wants to say and he finally thinks he just might be able to go through with it. He squares his shoulders, straightens his spine, and finds Karofsky in the boys' locker room. He stands up for himself with everything he has and Karofsky grabs Kurt's face between his huge, clammy palms and takes something from him. Not just his first kiss, but the last lingering feeling that somehow he was above it all. Like if he could just manage to endure it there would be something or someone worth waiting for at the other end of this hell. Now all that's left is the scream he has to stop from rising in his throat, the thud of his shoes on tile and then pavement as he sprints to his car, and the sickening drop of his heart as it finally lets go of whatever small hope it had cradled of anything getting better.