(Meredith) Loosing a child is awful. You never get over it. It is not like loosing your grandmother who was ninety. The grieving might take a while, but it isn't the same. 'cause when you lose a child, you will always wonder. What if. What if this or that didn't happen. What if I... And even worse: you see other people's kids. You hear them. And of course you can't shut your nieces and nephews out, just because your kid is gone. That would be unfair. But sometimes you do wonder... the pain that you are going through... is that fair?
2 years earlier
'Mummy, look!' Emily said enthusiastically.
Meredith turned towards her child with a smile on her face. They had received her due to an experimental treatment for women with her exact fertility-issue. Emily was the living proof: the treatment worked. And there her daughter stood, showing her a ladybug walking across her tiny hand, as if it was a miracle. Most people wouldn't say a ladybug was a miracle. But on the other hand, some people took children for granted too. So she decided that as long as her daughter thought a ladybug was some sort of miracle, she would too. 'That's amazing honey! Hey listen, I need to call your dad, to ask him when exactly he will be home, why don't you go play near the swings, where I can see you?' Her daughter nodded and ran happily towards the swings. She would never forget how her daughter ran. It was the last time she would see her. 'cause when she hang up the phone and turned around her daughter was gone.
I turned away for one second. And my baby girl was gone. My daughter, my Emily, was gone.