That One Mistake
A Fanfiction by Yours Truly
Bobsies: Soooo yeah, I've been busy (sorry, not trying to justify) and I have a tendency to start something and not finish it. So here's a oneshot, it's a long one, you better have time to read it all ;) Trust me, it's good (at least I think it is). And hopefully I'll be able to spend time to edit and add to my other stories…hopefully :P
I should be happy.
Here I was, on my wedding day, about to be married to the love of my life.
It was a warm, cloudless spring day, and I had to admit that Mom did a good job on my hair, makeup, dress and whatnot. My usually straight boring red hair was curled and pinned up, a few strands framing my face. Eyeliner, mascara and eye shadow made my blue eyes pop, and the mermaid, sweet heart dress that we had spent hours trying to find fitted my figure just right.
Today was supposed to be perfect.
But as my mom kissed me on the cheek, as the veil softly met my face, I couldn't picture the man I was going to marry.
Instead, I envisioned a spiky-haired, blue-eyed, confident (maybe a bit cocky) boy in my mind.
Stop it, I told myself, squeezing my eyes shut. Don't remember-
But the memories tore through the mental barrier I had constructed in my mind, hurtling me towards a thousand yesterdays.
~Seven Years Ago~
It's hot and sticky. Fireflies are scattered through the muggy air, lights dancing, and my face is sweaty and my hair is dripping from the moisture.
I hate this weather.
But I don't care right now, because I'm with him, with his confident smile, and he's holding my hand for the first time.
I'm not missing an opportunity like this, even if it does mean bad hair.
A Popsicle is in each of our hands, half-licked and dripping. Our mouths are covered with bright colors boasting of flavor, mine red, his purple.
He leads me our hangout spot, a huge branch swooping over the hill that's large and strong enough for even three teens to sit on. I feel jittery, as if fireflies are buzzing through my entire body.
He grins at me. "I'm surprised Riku's not here to witness the fireflies. They only come once a summer."
"He's probably too busy and important to hang out with us lowly kids," I joke, and he laughs. It's my favorite sound in the world, and I soak it in.
In the sunset, I can see his eyes glittering, reflecting off the light like blue marbles winking. It's beautiful, and I could probably just stare into them forever.
I notice he's looking into my eyes too, and wonder if he's thinking the same thing. Then I blush, self-conscious, and look away, reminding myself this is strictly platonic.
"Hey."
His voice is husky and cracks a bit, and when I look up his face is red. It's cute.
"Mn?" Don't look away, I think.
"I…was wondering," he said in a would-be-casual voice, "if I could taste your strawberry." He nods his head towards the Popsicle hanging from my grasp.
My heart sinks a bit as I offer the crimson treat, trying not to sound disappointed. "Sure, go for it," I say, looking down. He doesn't have a romantic bone in his body.
"I didn't mean the popsicle."
I look up, confused, and this time he looks determined.
"What do you mean, then?" I whisper. I suddenly notice that we've gotten noticeably closer. He looks at my mouth and speaks very quietly.
"Let me show you."
As soft as rain and light as a feather, he leans over and kisses my strawberry-covered lips, hand resting on my cheek. I close my eyes, tasting grape and drinking in the moment of my first kiss, never wanting it to end as fireflies and fading sunlight dance around us, celebrating the moment when two people who have been destined to be together reach the end of the journey.
I shook my head, the memory dissipating. For a short, beautiful time it was always like that, amazing and exciting.
The door to the changing room interrupted my thoughts, and my sister Namine opened the door and smiled at me. Currently dating Roxas Tisaro, a professional skateboarder, my golden-haired twin looked both happy and in love, a quiet calm in those dark blue eyes that matched her ocean-colored bridesmaid gown perfectly.
She gave me a hug. "I'm so happy for you," she said softly, beaming. I can't help myself from clinging to her slightly. When she pulled away, she looked at me concernedly. "Kai, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," I lied, looking away and sitting in a chair as I tried not to betray my emotions. Nevertheless, my voice shook.
She sat beside me, forcing me to look at her. "It's about him, isn't it?" Her eyes bore into mine.
"I-I don't know what you mean," I said, trying to laugh it off. The note fell flat, and as she stared at me, the bottle which contained my feelings shattered. My eyes swam, and I tried to swipe the tears hurriedly away as to not ruin my mom's makeup job.
"Kairi, how much does he mean to you?" my sister asked quietly. For someone who was two years younger than me, she seemed to possess far more wisdom. "You're about to give your heart to a man who loves you. But you have to give it to the one you love, not vice versa." She faced me, sincere.
I stood up and breathed deeply, closing my eyes and trying to calm my heartbeat. I turned to Namine, who had nothing but concern for me, and sighed, telling the part of my story that I had tried so hard to bury.
~Four Years Ago~
"That's it? You're…leaving?" My voice breaks.
"I have a scholarship to Kaibara University, Kai. This is what I've been waiting for!"
We're standing in the middle of the rain on the beach, shielded by a single umbrella. My hair is damp, but I don't care. I'm staring into his eyes, trying to absorb his words.
He grabs my shoulders and shakes me slightly. I can see he's trying to be gentle, but he's impatient as well. "Kairi. This is a huge opportunity for me. Don't you realize that? Haven't we talked about this?"
I feel like crying .My voice is shaking. I want to stop shivering. "But…what about us? You'll be a soccer star, while I'll be-" My words are cut off as he suddenly grabs my wrists, brings me close, and kisses me. I drop the umbrella in favor of his face, and water pours on us. The kiss lasts longer than either of us planned, but I don't want to breathe. He might go away.
After what seems like eternity, we stop, and he lifts my chin to stare directly into my eyes.
"Kairi Watashi, I love you," he whispers, water dripping from his brown spikes. He kisses me softly this time, and I detect a hint of grape. "And I promise to call you every day." He smiles down at me, a bit sadly.
A tear trickles down my face, but I refuse to tear my gaze away. Standing on tiptoes, I kiss his lips in hope that it won't be our last, arms encircling his neck. Grinning back at him, I whisper words that sound so sweet and yet so final.
"I love you too, Sora Honda."
I broke off, not because I was done, but because I felt like I couldn't continue. I stared at my hands, absentmindedly fiddling with the satin on my gown. From the opposite side of the room Namine spoke up, her voice gentle.
"What happened next, Kai?" she asked. I bit my lip, and felt her rub my back. "I know you're not finished."
Curse sister telepathy. I shook my head, for fear that if I spoke another word I'd burst out sobbing.
Before Namine could press me, the door opened again and Mom rushed in, looking flustered. "It's about to start, Kairi, are you ready? Sweetie, what's wrong?" Mom stood at two inches taller than me, and when she lifted my chin up she gasped at the dark blotches under my eyes. "You've been crying!" She grabbed a tissue and dabbed at my eyes, not very gently. "Kairi what's going on? Tell me."
"Mom, wait," Namine intervened, stepping between me and Mom. "Can you give us five more minutes? Please?" She gave her an imploring look.
A worried frown appeared on Mom's lips, but she decided not to ask, instead kissing me on the head and leaving.
Namine touched my shoulder. "When he left, you seemed terrible. But something happened. Something that changed you, and not for the better." Her blue eyes searched mine.
I took a shuddering breath and laughed without humor.
"Everything happened."
~Two Years Ago~
The days where I used to be so excited about his letters had long evaporated, and his phone calls are now something that I don't place that much hope in anymore. Sitting on my couch in my PJ's, sipping a coffee and watching the news, I roll my eyes as yet another game proves victorious for the legendary Sora Honda. Screw Kaibara Tigers, he's on FC Destiny Islands now.
I hear the doorbell, and I turn off the TV, mustering strength to get off the couch. "Coming!" I shout, and tie my untidy hair in a loose ponytail. Probably just the delivery guy.
I open the door, expecting a tired, overworked, middle-aged man looking like he had a permanent baby in his stomach. Instead, I see a tall, muscular guy with bright, aquamarine eyes smiling down at me.
Riku.
"Hey, Kairi," he says, smiling. I'm in shock.
"H-how did you-" I begin, but he cuts me off by giving me a warm hug, laughing. When we pull away, I inspect him. He's grown even taller, he's gotten more buff, but he still has "old man hair", as we used to call his silvery spikes.
"I was in town and happened to run in with Namine. She told me where you're living." He looks around my apartment. "Nice."
I blush, self-conscious about the mess. Papers littered the wood floor, at least five coffee mugs were on tables or the kitchen counters, and newspaper after newspaper was around the place. Not to mention it was totally small. "It's until I get a promotion. Then I'm moving in to the Square." I gesture towards inside. "Um, please come in."
He enters, his expression curious. "Still writing?" he asks with a wink. I smile in return. He remembers.
"For the paper." I hold up a copy, and it's my turn to ask as we plop on the couch. "So where did you go? I heard you dropped out of college."
He laughs, a relaxed sound I realized I haven't heard in months, and rubs the back of his neck. "So I'm infamous. I guess college life wasn't meant for me." He looks at me, eyes sparkling with humor. "After a year, I'd had enough. Packed my bags, started boxing and haven't stopped since." He looks at the ceiling, expression pensive. "It's my life now."
I'm sad, in a way. Riku was always smart, but lazy and prided himself in his strength. I guess strength won over.
He looks at me and smiles. "Hey, I didn't come to tell you my life story. I was wondering if you wanted to get some ice cream."
My heart screams no, and for a moment I picture Sora and I, kissing in the rain, promising that we'd always be together.
I say with a smile, "I'd love to."
We walk to Sunny's Ice Cream Parlor, and each order our ice creams: his vanilla, mine chocolate. I was going to order strawberry, but it surfaces memories too painful to bear.
"Are you still with Sora?" Riku asks as we take seats outside. I stiffen, but try not to show it as I lick my frozen treat, stalling.
"By definition," I finally reply, and I see his eyebrows raise. "It's…hard to explain. I suppose if I had to call him something, I'd call him my boyfriend. But it…it feels…" My throat closes, and I look up at him. He finishes my sentence, looking off into the distance with a sad expression.
"Like he died long ago," he murmurs. I redden and nod, then go back to eating my ice cream, not knowing what else to say. Thankfully, he speaks again, his aquamarine eyes clouded.
"We've always been best friends since we were kids- even brothers. WE had the stupidest competitions. I always thought we'd stay in touch, you know?" He takes a bite of his ice cream, eyes distant. "But then he went to college, and everything changed. It was 'soccer, soccer, soccer.' No more jokes or contests, or him obsessively talking about how much he loves you and how amazing you are. Don't' get me wrong," he says hastily, noticing my expression, "he occasionally talks about you. But…we're not…" He pauses, searching for the right words.
"We're not as important to him anymore," I whisper, staring into my ice cream. It was starting to melt. "Soccer has…replaced us." The words taste bitter on my mouth.
He nods, and I take a deep breath, pouring out my deepest fear. "I mean, I should've seen this coming," I babble nervously. Too late to stop. "He's always been irresistible to girls, and his popularity has girls practically throwing themselves at him." I look down, tears stinging my eyes. "And…I know how dense he can be when a girl likes him…but…I…" I bite my lip, urging myself not to cry.
Gently, Riku hooks his finger on my chin. It's a brotherly gesture- which is how I had always viewed Riku- but there's something different in his touch, electric. I look up at him.
"Can we go back to your place?" he asks huskily, his voice quiet. I know that tone of voice, and want to say no. But he looks so persistent, so determined, that I feel like my resistance is crumbling.
I nod, and as we head back, he takes my hand, and I smile up at him. As he turns back to me, I see a different face, and look away, cheeks on fire.
Back at my apartment, I take my baggy sweatshirt off. I've always been prone to wearing baggy clothes lately, since I don't have anyone to particularly dress up for, and I'm wearing a tank top underneath, bearing my shoulders.
As I'm hanging the sweatshirt off, I feel someone behind me, lightly touching my waist. The touch sends a thousand nerves through my body, making me tense. Instead of gloved hands, these hands had calluses on them, rough from boxing.
I slowly turn around, my back towards the wall. Riku's expression- it's longing, almost hungry.
"What are you doing?" I whisper, my breathing coming out fast. He slowly takes his hand and runs it on my cheek. I'm like a statue- still and absolutely silent.
"Kairi," he breathes, staring hard into my eyes. "Do you realize I've loved you since we were kids?"
My breath catches in my throat, and he continues. "When Sora started dating you, I thought all hope was lost, and that I should move on. But…look at what he did to you. It's definitely not how I'll treat you…if you'll have me." He looks at me, his gaze fierce. "Choose me, Kairi."
I'm bright red, and my heart is pumping so fast. He's so close; I can feel his breath on my neck. I'm trying to convince myself that he's right for me, and that he'll treat me well.
But all I can see is Sora's face.
Gulping for air, I gasp, "I-I don't know what to say."
Riku traces his finger on my cheek. "Don't say anything," he whispers, and before I know what's happening, he catches his mouth in mine, and he's kissing me, hands on my face, kissing me on my lips, my cheeks, my neck, my eyes, and I'm wrapped in the moment, hands around his neck, drinking in the passion, unable to stop.
But as his lips meet mine, I feel a tear trickle down my cheek, unnoticed, and I can't taste grape nor chemistry, only a boy I had admired that had finally expressed his love, and who I desperately wanted to love back.
Tears trickled down my cheeks as I finished telling the story, Namine rubbing my back.
"After that, I had made up my mind. I called Sora, left a message saying we were done, and started dating Riku. I blocked all of his messages and refused to open his letters." I shuddered. "A month after we got engaged, Sora quit soccer. Reporters asked why, and he said that as much as he loved the game…there was someone else he loved more." I swallowed, staring at the ground. "That day, I almost went out and apologized, but Riku held me back. I didn't…want to hurt him. So I…never saw him." I felt pain in my chest. "Riku had to call him and say we were getting married. He said that he was happy for us. And…that's…the last I heard of him." Rubbing my arms, I stood up. "So now, I'm standing here, about to be married to a man who loves me, still harboring feelings from an adolescent crush." I laughed a laugh devoid of any humor. "How pathetic is that?"
Namine stood up and walked over. It suddenly struck me how different we were. She was gentle and loving, wise and thoughtful, but at the same time completely independent and unshakeable. I was passionate and wild, but at the same time meek and constantly having to bend to other people's expectations.
She smiled. "You're not pathetic. But I'm not going to tell you how to run your life. But before you place Riku or mine or any other's feelings, you have to think of your own first." She reached for the door. "I'm going to ask Mom for another five minutes." Opening it, she turned back to smile at me. "I think you need them."
When she closed the door, I put my hands on my face, elbows resting on my knees. What did I want?
And for the briefest instant, I saw a face I had come to love with my whole heart, completely beautiful to me, and knew the answer.
I slipped out the door, and sure enough, Namine was waiting.
"Are you…?" she asked, her eyes widening.
I nodded. "I have to."
She smiled a bit. "I knew you'd choose the right answer." We hugged.
"Could you, um…" My voice trailed off, but my sister understood and smiled encouragingly.
"I got you covered. You need to get out there." She patted me on the arm, and I went back into the dressing room.
It took me a long time to write the letter- I had to think hard- but I finally set it on the chair, wiped my eyes, and closed the door gently behind me.
It was a pain travelling through the city with a wedding dress. People gave me weird looks, I kept on tripping, and I had to carry it so I didn't ruin it completely. I wasn't proud of it, but I had looked up his address a couple of months ago. Stalker? More like love-sick.
Downtown was busy, and at the sidewalk I finally spotted his apartment. Cars honked angrily at me as I ran through the traffic, my once-elaborate hairstyle destroyed as only a small fraction of curls was pinned up.
Dress streaming behind me, I ran up to Sunset Towers. The doorman looked more than surprised- he looked flabbergasted- but I had never felt better in my life.
"I'm here to see Sora Honda," I gasped out, breathless.
He raised an eyebrow, trying to recollect himself. "Do you have an appointment with him?" he asked. I grimaced.
"No."
Both eyebrows shot up. "He isn't expecting you then?"
I reddened and shook my head. He clucked his tongue, and said, "Mr. Honda only receives-"
Then he spluttered, and his eyes widened, staring at me. Finally, he asked, "Would you happen to be a Miss Kairi Watashi?"
I sucked my breath in. "That…that would be me, sir." How could he…?
"I know who you are," the doorman grumbled. My heart lifted a bit.
"He's mentioned me…?"
The doorman grunted. "He's done more than mentioned you. He talks about you constantly." He lowered his gaze at me. "Seems you've caused him quite a lot of grief."
I blushed. "I…I have."
The doorman didn't say anything for a long moment. Then he sighed, and walked over to me. He was in his early sixties, and beneath the grim façade, I saw a tender gleam in his eyes.
"You know, young lady, I've had my run-ins with love. I know when it's real." His pale eyes searched my face. "Did you really walk out of the wedding aisle…for him?"
I lifted my chin, feeling confident. "Yes."
He stared at me. Then, he broke out into a kind smile, gesturing towards the elegant doors. "His apartment is 12D. Go on up."
Riding the elevator gave me a strange sense of peace. The elevator was made of glass, and you could see the sun setting, playing on the windows and casting brilliant hues over the city.
I wondered what everyone was doing, how much chaos was in the hotel. I hoped Riku would be alright, and something told me he would be, eventually. My parents were probably devastated, but over time, and with Namine's help, and with my reasoning, I think they would be able to forgive me.
I pressed my hand against the glass, and as the ring for the twelfth floor chimed, I whispered, "I'm sorry," and left, leaving the print on the pristine surface, doors closing behind me.
12D was at the end of the hall, naturally. My stomach reminded me of when I was fifteen- fireflies nervously skittering around in my body.
I stood in front of the door, heart pounding furiously. Before I could change my mind, before I could register that this was a completely stupid idea, I knocked.
"Coming!" I heard a voice call out, and my heart jolted.
I knew that voice.
I heard shuffling, and suddenly the door was thrown open. "It's a little early-"
Sora stopped midsentence and promptly dropped his coffee. I must have looked terrible, my red curls a mess, wedding dress soiled, smiling at him nonetheless, drinking in the sight. His hair was a little wilder, his eyes a little wearier, but he was still Sora.
My Sora.
We stood there for a moment, staring at each other. The light was playing on his eyes, making them sparkle a thousand shades of blue. Then he snapped out of it.
"Kairi…how…why….Riku…" But I knew what to do, and as he was still stuttering, I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him with as much passion as I could.
When we drew apart, he looked at me disbelievingly, tracing his thumb on my cheek as if I were a ghost. "Kai…I thought…you and Riku…getting married…what…?" I brought my finger to his lips.
"I'm back," I whispered, smiling up at him. "Riku's not the one I want. Or the one I need." I smiled and traced his features, features I had long ago memorized and could recognize them blind folded. Then I said softly, "It's you, Sora. It's always been you."
He looked at me, and the look in his eyes made my heart stop. Cradling my cheek in his hand, he whispered words that I had memorized since I was nineteen. "I love you, Kairi Watashi. I never stopped."
I laughed through my tears, holding his hand on my cheek with my own. "And I love you too, Sora Honda, always and forever."
When he kissed me, I was in heaven. And as we continued to kiss, not daring to breathe, I tasted both grape and rain, and knew that this time, the journey was, at long last, coming to a close.
Bobsies: Sorry for the fluff :) It just goes to show you that you have to listen to your heart. Thank goodness Kairi didn't discover that too late ;)
I wonder what would've happened if she had just married Riku? What would her life be then?
Hmm. Maybe another oneshot on the way...? ;)
Thanks for reading :D Please R & R, and questions too if you're confused at any part of the story. :) I'd appreciate it :)
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