Summery: Ren is dying; he has little more than a week to live. He then meets an unexpected person who changes his life forever, and she just might have what it takes to save it as well. Ren x Pirika, rated T.
A broken life; A shattered past; a cut mind; a bleeding heart. All seem to lead back to one spot, to one person, and that person is me.
I tried all my life to mend the mistakes, heal the horror, and escape the lie that always incased my body. It was not always just physical pain, it hardly ever was. No, it hurt so much more than what could be felt externally, it was pain so unbearable, so cruel that, had it been given the chance, it would have surly killed me in an instant.
I was strong, and I always told myself that I was tough enough to withstand it all, the pain that was destroying me inside more with each day. I was in denial; I refused to tell myself that I was in pain, that sharp cuts and stab wounds were not nearly as bad as what I felt every single moment of my life. It hurt, more than anyone should ever have to experience; and I felt it all of my horrible life.
If I could have, I would have killed myself earlier on in my life, but I was strong, and ending it all would solve nothing. None of my pains would be erased, none of my wounds healed. No, I was doomed from the beginning to lead this life, and so I did.
For the first fourteen years, I was fine, and despite the pain that I felt occasionally, my life was certainly bearable. But after that much pent-up disease and hardened anger, it seemed as though it was more than I could take. Then it really started to hurt me, to the point where, had there been anything sharp around me at that time, I would have just killed myself then and there. But unfortunately, I was never allowed the satisfactory of ending the suffering.
My thoughts turned fiery, and my mind became cold and isolated. It was all a lie and everyone around me seemed to buy right into it. They all just believed it to be 'anger issues', blissfully unaware that their friend was dying, and they could do nothing about it. And so, another year of my life passed, with no change, and no hope for me whatsoever.
It began to seem that I already had died, not on the outside, but inside I was cold, unmoving, and dead. But because of this, it seemed my body was not allowed the same feeling, just my mind, and the worst part of it was, no one knew it. I just acted the same around them, and they thought that nothing had happened, nothing was wrong, when inside I was bleeding. And not long after, my body began to bleed as well. I was cursed, it seemed, to always feel upon my body, what struck my mind so badly.
The first time it happened, I had awoke one unpleasant day, to a large gash upon my arm, a bad one at that. I was able to make the excuse of 'early morning training' and get away with it, and I got treatment. I was fine, it seemed, but it kept happening, worse each time, cutting deeper into me the more I slipped away into the darkness.
It is killing me; I have little time left to live. My mind is going, just as my heart went so many years ago. I do not want to die, but I have little choice in the matter. It is almost as though death, how sweet it would have been long ago, would be twice as bad now. Now that I know it is because my entire subconscious self is going, and not just my body.
Just yesterday, I found a deep cut across my chest, ripping the skin, and puncturing a vein, not far away from my heart. I was barely alive when my friends found me, unconscious on my bed that morning. The cuts are not only getting deeper, they are moving closer to my heart. It seems that my friends know this, especially Faust, who had treated many of my wounds.
At this rate, he says that I have little more than a week to live, unless I can stop the wounds. But I know that I can not stop them, it would take a miracle, a gift of precious life given to my somehow. No, the treatments can not help me, my friends can not help me, and I can not help me.
I do not want to die, but I feel as though I already have. I no longer have feelings, as my heart died so long ago. My friends do not know about any of this, my eventual death, my pain, my suffering. They only see the physical slashes, not the mental ones.
I, Ren Tao, am dying of an incurable disease, one that I myself created. I knew that I was going to die, but it still hit me hard every time that another cut is found, and another stab is taken at my heart. The only way I can live is if my heart comes back to life, my soul starts to live once again. I thought there was no hope; I had given up on all that I had once held so dear. I had thought it was over, that nothing could save me; what I did not know, was that Horo's sister, Pirika, was coming over to visit.
I never thought that she could save my life, but I guess that my heart is still alive after all. I came back to life when I saw her, but can she help keep me alive?