Notes: i have at least 3 chapters of ideas. Chapter 1 is all set on one day, Chapter 2 onwards is set on different days
CHAPTER 1
John had stayed the night at Kayleigh's. She was trying to sneak him downstairs the next morning as Alfie and Chloe were asleep in bed and Mandy and Steve had been away all night in a hotel but would be back soon. The new couple sneaked downstairs holding hands. John and Kayleigh were both half naked and their hair was a bit messy
Kayleigh yawned as they came downstairs and straight away she started bickering with John. "I'd probably still be asleep now if it hadn't been for you, waking me up"
"Eh? I didn't wake y' up! It's not my pissing fault y' didn't get much sleep is it?"
"It is your fault actually John. I can't blame me lack of sleep on Our Mandy's thin curtains this time"
"How is it my bloody fault?! 'Aven't y' asked your Mandy to get y' some new curtains yet eh? Cos them friggers in your box room are fucking shite!"
"It's not me curtains! It's cos you snore John! Do you really have to do that? You sound like a friggin wildebeest when you're asleep, you snore so f'ing loud!"
"Y' cheeky cow! Get some earplugs in if y' don't like it! I am what I am!"
"Alright Gloria Gaynor keep your bloomin' hair on! I'm just saying what needs to be said." Kayleigh laughed while John just rolled his eyes. They had been together not even a day yet but they were already acting like a married couple
"What time did we get to sleep last night John? I really can't remember last night at all"
John grinned suggestively which made Kayleigh giggle like a naughty schoolgirl
"I friggin can. I remember every minute, clear as a bell"
"Oh I don't mean the sex John, that were amazing!" she squealed. "I meant i don't remember what time it was"
"Lord knows, last time I looked at the clock it were...1:21. Again. I swear that time of day haunts me like a friggin nightmare" he groaned
"I told you John, it's the spirit world. They're trying to send you a message. Anyway you're gonna have to get changed and go soon"
"Gonna 'ave to go? I'm y' friggin boyfriend!"
"Our Mandy and Steve went away for the night in a hotel remember. They'll be back in about an hour"
John smirked at Kayleigh. "Oh aye? We could do that couldn't we, we could go in a hotel for the night"
"Bit early for that John, we only got together yesterday"
"Maybe I'll surprise y' one day eh?"
"I can't let her see you John!"
John's eyes glazed over. "Why y' ashamed of being in love wi' me eh? Am I not good enough?"
Kayleigh rubbed his arm comfortingly. "No that's not it John! I never knew how good you were til last night. You really surprised me actually Mr Redmond! It's just that-"
"What?"
"I don't really think Our Mandy likes you that much John. She thinks you messed me about and that I can do better"
"Well she's right there. Y' can do better. A lot better"
Kayleigh tutted at him and took his hand, stroking his palm with her thumb. "Oh shut it will y'? I love you"
"Not as much as i love you Kayleigh" he smiled at her
"But look at us John! Messy hair, we're half naked and...well if she finds out we're together now John-"
"Christ, you're a 36 year old woman Kayleigh! We ain't kids anymore, we can do whatever we bloody want! Y' need to stop worrying what your sister will think, it's none of her pissing business if we're together or not! What 'appened to that fiery girl i fell in love with who doesn't give a shit eh?"
"Yeah i guess you're right. Who gives a stuff if she sees us together?"
"Exactly. It doesn't fucking matter what she thinks. What d'ya wanna do now we're up?"
"Well I can think of something" Kayleigh traced tiny circles on his bare chest suggestively. "Can't you?"
"Oh aye? What naughty ideas are y' putting in me head now Kayleigh Kitson, eh?"
Kayleigh pushed John onto the sofa. "Shut it and give me all you've got. You know, like you did last night"
"I tell y', it's a bloody good job I love y' so much" John said as he pulled Kayleigh on top of him
John and Kayleigh started caressing each other and kissing passionately on the sofa. Kayleigh let her fingers explore John's body while deepening the kiss. She kept moaning against his mouth and started shouting with pleasure as he went inside her
After their shag Kayleigh laid in John's arms with her head resting on his chest. They were both breathless, their hair was even messier than before and they stunk
"That was...shamazing! OMG John that was better than last night!"
"Well I like to think I know how to make a woman satisfied y' know" he winked
"Oh you deffo do that John! You're like a little Superman. You're so good"
"Well I do me best"
"I think you deserve a reward Jonathan"
John and Kayleigh were just about to kiss when they were interrupted by the noise of tiny footsteps walking about on the landing. John frowned
"Is that next door? Bit loud aren't they, can 'ear em through the friggin wall!"
"No it's one of the kids John! Just quick, just move away from me"
John and Kayleigh broke apart and the door opened. Chloe walked in rubbing her eyes
"Auntie Kayleigh is my mummy and daddy home yet"
"No not yet darling. What's wrong? Why aren't you in bed?"
"I couldn't sleep"
Kayleigh got off the sofa and went over to Chloe. "Awww have you had a bad dream?"
"No I heard you shouting"
Kayleigh frowned in confusion while John tried not to laugh, he knew exactly what Chloe had heard
"Shouting? What do you mean shouting Chloe? Are you sure it wasn't a dream?"
"No I woke up cos i heard you shouting. I heard you shouting at uncle John. You shouted "Oh John! John! OMG yes! Don't stop. Keep going John!" My mummy shouts at my daddy, but she sounds angry. You didn't sound angry. And you were breathing loudly. I was really scared. Why did you shout auntie Kayleigh and why are you naked uncle John?"
"Are y' gonna tell her or shall I?" John looked at Kayleigh who had finally put two and two together
Kayleigh covered her mouth and blushed bright red. She wanted the ground to swallow her up. No words could express how embarrassed she felt right now. How the fuck would she be able to explain to an 8 year old why she was shouting John's name like that
"Oh it's okay me and your uncle John, we were..."
Kayleigh turned to John for help. John was more than happy to fill Chloe in
"You'll know when you're older little 'un. I were making your auntie Kayleigh a very happy woman"
"John! Don't say that!"
"How were you making her happy uncle John?" asked Chloe
"Well I were touching her and-"
Kayleigh cut John off. "Shut it right now!" she warned him quietly through gritted teeth. "Or you won't be getting any anymore" she mouthed
Chloe looked confused. Kayleigh laughed nervously while John sniggered. Kayleigh bent down to Chloe's level
"Errr...We were playfighting darling. Yeah, um...Me and your uncle John we were just being silly that's all. He was tickling me. It's okay, nothing to worry about, go on you, go back to bed, try and get some sleep. You're a good kid you" she said ruffling her niece's hair. "Now hurry up back to bed before the tickle monster comes to get you!"
Chloe shrieked and ran back upstairs into her room. Kayleigh closed the door after she'd gone and breathed a sigh of relief. John shook his head at her and grinned
"You're such a bullshitter you Kayleigh. Tickling y' my arse!"
"Well i couldn't tell her what we were really doing could i John? Thank frig she's gone! F'ing hell, I thought you were gonna tell her!"
"Well why didn't y' let me? She wouldn't know would she? What is she, 6?"
"No she's just turned 8. If i'd have let you tell her what we were really doing John she'd have been googling it and having f'ing nightmares. Thank frig she's just a kid"
"Oh I 'ear ya. Kids don't know owt"
"We gotta get ourselves cleaned up John. Look at the state of us! You wanna get in the shower with me?"
"Now what y' thinking?"
"I'm not thinking nothing John. I just wondered if you wanted to shower with me"
"But there's no lock on the bathroom door. Y' telled me y' had to shower with your foot on the door 'andle. What if someone walks in? They'll be scarred for bloody life, seeing me in all me glory"
"We'll be about 5 minutes pronto John. Get in, get out. Sorted"
"Aye alright"
"It's times like this I actually wish you were f'ing shit in bed John. No amount of Jade Goody's Shush can cover up how bad we smell right now"
"Would you care to give me your hand, oh pretty lady, so I can lead you into the bathroom? And maybe later someplace else, and not for the first time?" John winked at Kayleigh who just laughed
"Your wish is me command Mr Redmond. Look at you going all posh on me, you little dark horse" she let him take her hand to lead her away
"Aye y' make me do strange things you do woman"
At that moment Kayleigh happened to glance out the window where she saw Mandy and Steve driving down the street. She flew into a panic
"Oh frigadig John!"
"Now what's up wi' y'?"
"They're coming now, down the street. I can see the car John! Oh shit, shit, shit!"
Kayleigh waved her arms in the air hysterically and John gently put his hands on her shoulders to calm her down. "If we 'urry up we can get a wash before they pull up!"
"There's no time John!"
"Kayleigh I telled y' not to worry about what she thinks! For fuck sake calm down will y'!"
"Just hide John! Hide, hide, hide! I don't give a shit where, just hide!"
Kayleigh pushed John into the kitchen. He looked at her in disbelief. "What the fucking 'ell's up wi' y' you daft cow?!"
"What's up with me?! John we f'ing stink!"
"Aye well that's why we need to get a wash. Come on"
Kayleigh became frantic. "Frig the f'ing shower John! Just hide in the garden or somewhere, anywhere! I don't want her to find out! I can't do this John!"
"Stop bloody worrying, eh? Come 'ere". John pulled Kayleigh into a deep kiss. At the same time Mandy and Steve got out the car. Steve noticed John's fiat was there
"Hey that's John's car. I guess him and your Kayleigh must have sorted things out"
The front door opened and when the room door opened the lingering smell hit Mandy like a ton of bricks. She stopped dead
"Friggin hell, what's that smell? Can you smell it Steve, it stinks like sweat and shame in here"
Steve sniffed the air. "Oh aye yeah, think we both know what that is Mand don't you eh?" he nudged her while laughing
"What the fucking hell is that girl playing at?!" Mandy shouted as she walked in holding her nose. "Kayleigh! Are you up?"
Kayleigh's eyes widened and she stopped kissing John. She emerged out the kitchen wearing just her bed vest and knickers looking worried. Mandy didn't look impressed
"Get dressed will ya Kayleigh, look at the pissing state of you! You look like you've been dragged through a friggin hedge! I wanna know why that John's here. And before you try and lie to me that he's not, I know he is, his car's outside our house!"
Kayleigh tutted sarcastically. "Oh, good morning to you too sis?"
"Well?" demanded Mandy
Kayleigh stuttered. John came out the kitchen wearing just his boxers and slippers. Mandy was horrified at the sight of half naked John and cringed
"TMI! And that's before I even have me breakfast!" she cried covering her eyes. "Bloody hell, you could at least cover yourself up surely?"
John ignored Kayleigh's sister and squeezed her hand to comfort her. "Come on, you can do this. Just tell her" he whispered supportively
Kayleigh bottled it and said the first lie that came into her head. "Well I...he-he's here cos...err. He...he came round last night so we could discuss the Christmas team. I'm on his Christmas team at work you see. And we were just talking about it"
Mandy looked them both up and down. "Oh right. Is that why he stayed round, you're half dressed and got hair like friggin Worzel? Looks like you've been having a good old shag, from where I'm standing. Doesn't take a pissing rocket scientist to work that one out does it?"
John and Kayleigh shuffled nervously. John cleared his throat and blushed slightly
"Guess you got a bit carried away with your "discussion" eh? Bloody hell, look at the state of you two! You stink both of ya!" Steve added
John and Kayleigh laughed nervously. Kayleigh looked really embarrassed and looked at the floor
"Anyway I'm off to do me bike, I guess I'll see you later John mate"
"Aye see ya bud"
Steve bumped fists with John before going outside to tinker. The bromance between them did Kayleigh's head in but that was the least of her problems right now
Mandy shook her head and scowled at her little sister. John had seen that same look before from Kayleigh. Mandy was a lot taller than Kayleigh and had blue eyes and darker hair. But other than that, John noted, the sisters looked very similar
"You dirty little bitch! I knew it, I knew you would end up doing this. I told you before he's no friggin good! But do you ever listen to me, do you balls!"
"Alright I am 'ere, I can 'ear y'!" John piped up
Kayleigh grabbed John's hand and stood up to Mandy
"Mandy, John's me boyfriend. We're both adults, and we can do whatever we f'ing want! So get used to it, or don't cos to be honest I don't give a shit what you think! Just cos you're older than me, doesn't mean you can tell me what to f'ing do!"
"Oh-hoo!" John laughed, he loved it when Kayleigh's feisty side came out. He loved her "I don't give a shit don't mess with me" attitude
"You don't do whatever you want, in my house young lady. You don't sneak him round, behind my back. I've got 2 little kids, what do you think they'll think when they see the state of you?"
Kayleigh shrugged her shoulders pretending Chloe hadn't seen them. But John gave the game away. "Well your Chloe's already seen us this morning. She got up a bit ago to go to the toilet"
"Oh has she now?!" Mandy crossed her arms. "Well that does it, me bloody daughter's seen. Friggin great stuff, gonna be getting a shitload of questions off her now"
Mandy threw her head in her hands. She was absolutely mortified and didn't really know how to react
"Oh it's okay sis she didn't see anything. She just said she heard me shouting at John and breathing loudly. We just told her auntie Kayleigh's been playfighting with uncle John. We'd have said the same to Alfie n all. She believed us and went back to bed"
"What were you shouting for? And breathing loudly what?"
As soon as she asked that question Mandy soon realised why Kayleigh shouted at John and breathed loudly. Her eyes slowly widened and she covered her mouth in horror
"Oh jesus christ no! No, no, no I can't have this. Knowing me 8 year old daughter's heard me little sister during a shag. I can't fucking believe this! I should have known you wouldn't listen to me Kayleigh, you just do what you want"
"Oh piss off will ya Mandy! You're me sister not me mum! I am allowed to be happy you know! John makes me happy!"
"I might as well be! I seem to be the only one who can knock some sense into ya! Do you ever bloody learn?"
"Oh grow up Mandy" she rolled her eyes
"You're the one that needs to grow up Kayleigh, you act like a friggin teenager! Look here lady, I know what you're thinking, you shag him then you'll get pregnant. It's not happening. That's all you're after from him isn't it, you don't love him. He's just a sperm donor"
John looked really hurt. "I'll go sort meself out in the bathroom and get meself changed upstairs" he walked out
"I do love him actually! He's the love of my life. And yeah, I do want a baby, but he's more than just a sperm donor to me. He's the one I waited my whole life for. We're meant to be together, John and me"
"Oh change the record Kayleigh you've said that about every bloke you've ever been with. And look what happened with all them. If ya ask me, you should swear off men altogether. You're better off on your own"
"John's not like them Mandy! He's different. He's not a drug dealing knob rash, or a cheating pig, or a liar"
"D'ya know what i don't care. Mark my words, you two won't last 5 friggin minutes. I don't want this in my house where me kids are and if you don't like it lady, tough shit. Ya know where the door is. Are we clear?"
Kayleigh huffed and went into the kitchen. "Fine. You're chucking me out so I'll go pack me stuff up"
"Where d'ya think you're off? I ain't chucking you out! Come back here! Don't you walk away from me Kayleigh Kitson!"
"You don't have to chuck me out cos I'm moving out!" Kayleigh cried. She stormed back through the room carrying black bin bags and slammed the room door behind her
Xxxxxx
Kayleigh stormed upstairs to her box room and furiously started packing her clothes and her belongings up in the bin bags. John had got changed and was sitting on her bed while Misty was asleep on the floor. Kayleigh sighed and sat down next to him, putting her hand on top of his
"John...what Our Mandy said before, about you just being a sperm donor, you know it's not true. She can be a right bitch sometimes"
"Aye. I 'eard"
"Is that why you went upstairs?"
"Well i went in the bathroom first off, washed me face, then i come upstairs to get me clothes on. She shouldn't 'ave said that. Alright, fair enough she isn't me biggest fan I know but fuck sake, did she really 'ave to bloody say that?"
"She never thinks before she speaks John. She just comes right out with it"
"Oh aye? A bit like you then. Now I know who y' get it off"
"Cheeky rat!" Kayleigh hit his arm playfully
"Think y' got your looks off your Mandy as well as your fieryness didn't y' eh?"
"Yeah me mum and dad always used to say how alike me and Our Mandy look. She's basically me if i were taller with blue eyes and darker hair. The Kitson kids all look near enough the same really. You should see Our Kieran, and i am not joking John, he looks like a male version of me. He even has me eye colour. We all look like me mum. Same eyes, eye colour, nose, the works. Even Our Kelly, who's me cousin, looks a bit like us n all"
"Our Paul doesn't look a bit like me. Y' can't even tell we're brothers"
"They're really strong genes in our family John. All the Kitsons look related"
"What y' packed everything up for in them black bin bags?" John changed the subject
Kayleigh looked at him and sighed. "I might as well move out of here John. She's doing me f'ing head in lately, sticking her nose in me business, telling me what I can and can't do"
"Well where y' gonna go? Y' 'aven't thought that one through 'ave y' eh?"
Kayleigh tilted her head to the side and frowned. "You really don't know?"
John realised what she meant. "Oh no Kayleigh it's way too friggin early for that. We should wait a few months"
Kayleigh looked at John with her best puppy dog eyes. "But I'm your girlfriend and you love me"
"Yeah you are. And i do very much but so what? Don't you be giving me them big sad eyes Kayleigh Kitson it won't work on me"
"Awww don't be a big meanie John! How can you say no to this little face?" she circled her face with her hand
John looked at her and sighed. She already knew how to wrap him round her little finger. "I bloody wish i could say no, I really do I tell y' that right now"
"But you just can't can you?" she teased him. "I'm always gonna get me own way now, I'll just guilt trip you if you say no!"
"Alright, alright stop rubbing it in. I'll move y' in, you've got your wish"
"And Misty don't forget about her"
"Oh shit I forgot about your dog. Anyway we've got a busy day today us two 'aven't we?"
"Have we?" she frowned in confusion
"Y' know what day is it today?"
"Errr yeah, it's Saturday"
"Aye, it is. Which means it's...come on Kayleigh don't act like y' don't friggin know! I only telled y' yesterday, y' can't have forgot already! Your memory ain't that shite surely?"
"I don't know John! You're gonna have to tell me"
John tutted at her and rolled his eyes. "It's me gig in Clitheroe in a gymkhana today!"
"Oh yeah that" she nodded. Then she frowned at him. "Is that it? That's what you wanted to tell me? I thought you were gonna tell me something good, bit disappointed now"
"What d'ya! What d'ya mean is that it?! Come on, get a pissing wiggle on! Y' 'aven't even got dressed yet or brushed your friggin 'air!"
"Alright, alright Jonathan take a chill pill! It's not the end of the friggin world is it?"
Kayleigh shook her head at him then got off her bed and went to get herself changed. She brushed her hair and put her extensions in before she sprayed her favourite perfume Jade Goody's Sshh
"Take a chill pill?! Clitheroe Kayleigh it's pissing miles away!"
Kayleigh turned round and frowned at him. "It's not that far surely?"
"It's far enough. We'll be driving 90 minutes from 'ere to mine to get me stuff for Compendium's gig then we're off. It's gonna take a good few hours"
Kayleigh looked at herself in the mirror curiously and narrowed her eyes. "You know what Jonathan frig me extensions. I think I'm gonna have me hair in pigtails today"
John snorted. "Pigtails? 'Ow old are y'?"
"They look cute! You're just well jell cos you can't have your hair like that!"
"That's 'ow kids 'ave their 'air. Not 36 year old women! Just put your extensions back in! Least y' won't get the piss took out of y' wi' them in"
"I never took them out Jonathan. They're still in me hair. See" she gestured to her hair. "Who's gonna take the piss out of me y' cheeky fish?"
"Smartarse" he rolled his eyes. "I will if y' go wi' your 'air like that. Maybe when we get back we can take Misty dogging eh?"
"Yeah you're funny" Kayleigh shook her head and smiled
"I am aren't I eh? D'ya know I always fancied meself as a comedian I did, me mates always used to say I were quite funny"
"I've told you before John, we're like Cannon and Ball. I'M the funny one, not you. You're the other one"
"Cheeky bitch. Why do I put up wi' you eh?"
"Because you love me, that's why" she smiled through the mirror
"Well, there is that" he grinned at her
Kayleigh smiled sweetly at him before looking back in the mirror. "Hmmm. Should i or shouldnt i? You know what i think i've changed me mind again, think I'm gonna keep me extensions in, frig me pigtails"
"Y' change your mind more than y' change your bloody knickers you do. How can y' change your mind that friggin fast?"
Kayleigh turned back to him all matter of fact. "Who's gonna take the piss now Jonathan?"
John laughed before laying back on her bed to relax. He sighed happily. "Your bed's lovely and comfy y' know" the springs jumped as he laid back. "Oh shit. D'ya 'ear that? Think we worked your bed springs into the friggin ground after last night"
Kayleigh pulled a face through the mirror and turned to him. He looked confused
"What's that face for?"
"Did you just fart you dirty kuso debu?"
"No I bloody didn't y' cheeky mare. And who you calling a fat shit eh? I bet you've secretly let one off though 'aven't y, missy? It wouldn't surprise me y' animal"
Kayleigh grinned mischievously at him then ran over to him excitedly. He wondered what she wanted
"Now what y' after?"
"Well you know how you said it'll take a few hours to get to your gig. Can we play car games on the way? The yes/no game, I spy, see how many red cars we can spot. Oh John please let us play the yes/no game! You never let me play it on the way to the safari park you spoilsport"
John's expression never changed. "No"
Kayleigh smiled and went away from him. "I win. This time, we're definitely playing it for real Jonathan then I'm gonna win again"
"We'll 'ave Forever FM on in the car, ain't that enough for y'?"
Kayleigh went over to the black bin bags with her things in and rummaged for some clothes. She pulled out a yellow dress with a zip on the back
"Johhhnn" she wailed. "I need your help. Can you zip me up?"
"Oh for Christ sake" he shook his head and sat up and got off the bed, walking towards her. "I were just getting comfy then n all. Bright yellow dress?! You're 'avin' a laugh, you'll 'ave all the bees after y'!"
"Yellow's me favourite colour remember. It's bright and happy like me!" she squealed
"Suppose you'll 'ave yellow shoes n all won't y'? You're unbelievable you" he shook his head in disbelief while smiling
"Oh you know me too well Reddy"
"Reddy? Did y' just call me...Reddy? Oh don't call me that Jesus Christ that's an awful nickname is that" he screwed his face up
Kayleigh laughed at his reaction as John zipped her up. He went back over to the bed and looked at sport on his phone while she started doing her makeup in the mirror. She put her fake eyelashes on as well as some light blue eyeshadow. After she was done she wanted to know what John thought
"What do you reckon?" Kayleigh asked as she turned round to face John
John frowned not looking up from his phone. "What y' on about? To what?"
"To me John!" She gestured to her face and body. "Do I look-"
John looked up from his phone and his jaw literally dropped when he saw her. A massive grin spread across his face and he raised his eyebrows. He was really tempted to wolf whistle her but decided against it as he thought it would be disrespectful and sexist. Instead he jumped up off her bed and went over to her, wrapping his arms round her waist
"Fucking hell Kayleigh!"
Kayleigh hesitated. "Is that a good or bad "f'ing hell Kayleigh", John?" she frowned
"D'ya really need to ask? Just look at y' eh. Y' look bloody lovely"
Kayleigh thought the opposite of John's opinion of what she looked like. "I don't think I do John. I look rough"
"Rough? I think the word you're looking for lady, is beautiful" John replied as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and gave her a quick kiss. Kayleigh didn't believe him, she still thought she looked rough
"You're just saying that" she smiled shyly and looked down
John starting stroking her hair which made her look back up at him
"No i'm not. Remember a few weeks back at our work party, when y' got dressed up as Hagrid, and y' had that big beard on your face, i were blown away by 'ow nice y' looked i were. All y' normally wear for work is some false eyelashes and y' still look great. And I'm not just saying that, I mean it I do. You're bonny you are Kayleigh, wi' or wi'out makeup. You're the most beautiful woman i've ever seen. You're perfect. Why y' think otherwise, and why you're so self critical, is beyond me"
"John I don't ever want you to see me without me makeup or me false lashes. Trust me, you'd run an f'ing mile! I look like bride of chucky, rough as arseholes. I mean, frig sake, i were on heartsearchers paying £15 every friggin month for jack shit cos I were that desperate to find someone. And you wonder why i'm self critical? There must be summat wrong with me and if it ain't me face then what is it"
"You're mad as a box of frogs, that's what it is. But that don't matter to me, i love y' just the way y' are. I told y' yesterday, y' make me laugh, y' make me happy, 'appier than I've ever been before, and on top of that, you're the most beautiful woman in the world"
"Awww John" she smiled sweetly at him. "You really know how to make a girl feel good about herself"
"Y' shouldn't need me to tell y' what y' should already know"
They gazed into each other's eyes for a few minutes, before John moved away from Kayleigh and went over to the door, gesturing over to her. "Come on, we gotta go get Jim"
Kayleigh's eyes widened in horror. "Jim?! Your bandmate Jim?! Shit"
"Oh aye you're gonna be meeting him today aren't y' eh?"
Kayleigh rolled her eyes when John wasn't looking. "Oh woopy doo can't f'ing wait"
"I bet y' can't, he's a right laugh is Jim"
"I was being sarcastic John" Kayleigh crinkled her nose. "I'm not relishing the thought of meeting that f'ing creep. Can't you just say I don't feel well so I don't have to go?"
John looked at Kayleigh in disbelief
"Don't John, don't look at me like that!"
"Is there any wonder I'm looking at y' like that eh? You're a right hypochondriac you are! You're coming to me gig whether y' like it or not. You're me bird and I want y' to watch me sing in me band!"
"Pretty please John?"
Kayleigh looked at John with her big sad eyes again and her lower lip wobbled
"Don't you bloody give me them sad eyes again for Christ sake. That your new trick is it? Every time y' want your own way y' look at me like that d'ya? I'll be getting wise to that now y' know so y' best knock it off"
"But John I know i won't like Jim, me gut says he's a friggin creep"
John looked confused. "Eh? What y' on about? Y' listen to your gut?"
Kayleigh nodded at him. "Yeah. Yakult told me to"
"Yakult? Who the frig's that?"
"Yakult, you know, that advert that used to be on TV. They used to say Yakult, listen to your gut, so that's what I do now, I listen to what me gut says"
"Y' don't 'alf talk a load of bollocks sometimes you Kayleigh" John laughed. "Y' never fail to amuse me you do. Y' ready?"
Kayleigh sighed. "Looks like I've got no f'ing choice"
"Come on let's be off"
"Hang fire Jonathan I need me stuff first" She collected the black bin bags together. "Can't get out of here quick enough, after today there's no more box bedroom, no more showering with me foot on the door handle, no more thin curtains, no more hearing Steve revving his f'ing bike"
"'Whoa whoa whoa 'ang on a minute Kayleigh I've just had a thought. If you're moving out of your Mandy's today, what y' gonna do about Misty? Y' can't bring your dog to me gig!"
"Oh shit...I didn't think of that. I'll leave her here for now then we'll have to come back later to get her and bring her to yours"
John and Kayleigh went downstairs each carrying black bin bags and he helped her carry her things into his fiat before they got into his car and drove off
Xxxxx
After stopping at John's to get him some fresh clothes, his keyboard, some sunglasses and a stetson as well as taking Kayleigh's black bin bags with her clothes and belongings in his house, John and Kayleigh were back in the car on the road with Forever FM on quiet on the radio. John was now wearing his stetson and some sunglasses as well as a blue jacket underneath a shirt and jeans
"Awww you do look cute in your hat John" Kayleigh laughed as she pinched his cheeks
"Give over woman!" cried John. "Trying to drive a bastard fiat 'ere, never mind me gig, we'll be in an ambulance if y' carry on wi' that!"
"What's it called the hat?"
"It's a stetson dear"
Kayleigh stopped and stared at him. He felt her looking as he was driving
"What?"
"Dear? How old are you again?"
"39, last time I checked. Why, what's wrong wi' that?"
"That's what me grandad calls me grandma. Old people say that"
"Well I can call y' whatever I like!"
"Just seems weird to call me that when we're only in our 30s though John"
"Well y' know me, I act a lot older than I am. 'Ere, let's 'ave a listen to our old buddy, Forever FM" John turned the radio up
You're the one that I want started playing and John and Kayleigh started singing it in each other's faces. John sang the man's lines and Kayleigh sang the woman's lines. They sang the chorus together. But Kayleigh got a bit carried away and sang too loud
#"YOU'RE THE ONE THAT I WANT OO-OO-OO HONEY! THE ONE THAT I WANT
They were at a traffic light at the moment and John covered his ears to drown out Kayleigh's really loud and really shit singing
"Fucking hell Kayleigh, you'll burst me bastard eardrums singing like that!" "If y' can call it singing that is" he added under his breath
"Awww John I love this song!" she squealed happily
"Olivia Newton John, 1978. It's off your favourite film this is, innit?"
"Dirty Dancing? No I don't remember this song in that. I've seen it 175 times now I should know"
"No it's...Grease. That's what it's off, Grease. I only know cos me mam loves that film"
"Oh I've never seen it. Is it good?"
"I wouldn't know. Y' couldn't bloody pay me to watch shite like that"
"Bet it's not a patch on Dirty Dancing"
"Well nowt is in your eyes. Me I reckon both them films are shite"
The radio adverts and jingles came on. (Miles of tiles that'll make you smile, make dreams come true at Corton Tiles)
(Get a shed, at the Shed Surgery)
(Arthur Whelan, for when tomorrow doesn't come)
(And some others)
After the adverts, the next song to play on Forever FM was Mr Blobby. John and Kayleigh looked at each other in disbelief. John sighed deeply and pushed his head back
"They're 'avin a fucking laugh aren't they? Really scraping the bottom of the barrel now Forever FM y' shower of shit!"
"Surely they can find a better song to play than this guff?" Kayleigh turned the radio off. "Can we play that game now?"
"Oh bloody 'ell, go on then. What d'ya 'ave to do?"
"Right so you ask a question like I don't know, um are you gay? And you say yes or no. But if you say it more than once I win"
"Sounds like a load of shite if y' ask me" John rolled his eyes
"John? Are you gay?"
"No! No! I'm not pissing gay no! I wouldn't be wi' you if I were gay would i!"
"I win. You said no three times"
"Oh I aren't pissing playing this it's fucking boring shit"
"What cos I won? Spoilsport" Kayleigh crossed her arms. "How about...I spy?"
"If we must" John rolled his eyes
"I spy with me little eye, something beginning with...J"
"John. Me"
Kayleigh sounded surprised. "Frigadig how did you get it that fast? How did you know?"
"I know y' too well Kayleigh. I know y' better than y' know yourself"
"You do one now"
"No I aren't friggin doing one. I'm bored already"
"Oh you know what we could play?!"
John shook his head. "Surprise me"
Kayleigh puckered her lips into a tiny mouth
"Lady Diana"
John and Kayleigh suddenly both started laughing hysterically as they remembered that morning Kayleigh showed John how to play Lady Diana. Kayleigh giggled at the memory
"Oh i was so pissed that morning wasn't i John? Remember Jonathan, do it with a little tiny mouth"
"Oh I'll remember alright lady"
"Diana"
John and Kayleigh tried so hard to keep a straight face
"Kayleigh don't make me laugh I'm driving!" John squeaked
"I'm sorry John" she cried grabbing his arm to stop herself laughing so much. "It's just so funny"
"Tell me about it! Once I start I can't fucking stop!" he roared with laughter
Tears of laughter were rolling down Kayleigh's face
Xxxxxx
John pulled the car up in a unknown street and took his seatbelt off. They had finally arrived at Jim's
"Right we're here come on get your arse out time for y' to meet Jim"
"I'm not going anywhere John. I'm staying here" Kayleigh crossed her arms. "Don't even try and move me cos this girl's staying put"
"Oh suit yourself then contrary Mary"
"I will thank you very much Jonathan" she poked her tongue out at him
John went to open the car door. "I'll be back in a bit wi' Jim"
Kayleigh cleared her throat to get his attention. He stopped and turned to her
"What's up?"
"She puckered her lips. "Give us a kiss before you go Jonathan"
"Oh come here then"
John didn't need to be asked twice. He leaned over and kissed her. He got out the car and knocked on Jim's door. Jim answered the door
"Alright John mate!" Jim high fived John
"'Ey up Jim, y' dickhead! 'Ow's it going?"
"Not bad. You brought your bird wi' y'?"
John grinned and shook his head at Jim. "Trust you. Were wondering 'ow long it'd take y' to ask that. Typical Jim the ladies man. Come on y' daft twat"
"You look a right dick in that stetson John. We off then?"
"Wait 'ang on a minute Jim. Before we go, there's someone I want y' to meet first"
"Oh aye? Is it your bird? Hey up, y' didn't answer me question when I asked y' the other week if she were fit or not"
"I'm punching well above me weight wi' her. She's out of me league"
"I'll believe it when I see it. Hey, is it her?" Jim pointed to a fat woman approaching them
"No it ain't her y' cheeky twat. She's sitting in me car, I'll bring her out now if y' want"
John looked at Kayleigh sitting in the passenger seat of the car playing with her nails
"Kayleigh?" he called
"What?" she mouthed through the window
John gestured for her to get out but Kayleigh shook her head
"Come on!" he yelled. "Jim wants to meet y'!"
Kayleigh sighed loudly and rolled her eyes and reluctantly got out the car. John went over to her as she got out and they held hands as they went over to Jim who was already eying her up
"Right then. Time for the introduction. Jim, Kayleigh. Kayleigh, Jim. Kayleigh, this is Jim me bandmate. Jim, this is Kayleigh me girlfriend"
Jim's eyes swept up and down Kayleigh's face and body and he grinned at her. "Alright love?"
Kayleigh hugged her arms she felt really uncomfortable. But John thought she was being rude
"Talk to him Kayleigh!"
"You're not shy are y' love?"
"Is she balls. She never shuts her bloody mouth normally"
Kayleigh scowled at John and forced a smile at Jim. "Hiya"
Jim put his hand out for Kayleigh to shake. She screwed her face up in disgust and looked at his hand she didn't want to know where that hand had been. John pulled a face
"Shake his hand Kayleigh! What the pissing 'ell's up with y' today eh?"
"Does me hand smell or summat love?" Jim joked
Kayleigh thought he looked like he probably jacked off a lot, to her he looked like a dirty old man
"This isn't a joke. Have you washed your hands?" she asked seriously
Eventually John made a reluctant Kayleigh shake Jim's hand. Jim made sure he got to squeeze her fingers and winked and grinned at Kayleigh and she felt sick. John sensed she was uncomfortable and took her back to the car
"Come on let's be 'avin' y'" called John as Kayleigh climbed into the back of his fiat on her own and Jim was in the passenger seat after loading the boot up with the stuff for the gig, staring at her through the rear view mirror much to her distaste
Xxxxx
John, Jim and Kayleigh were on the way to Clitheroe. To avoid having to see Jim staring at her through the rear view mirror, Kayleigh decided to mess about on her phone. After a while she got bored and decided to rest her eyes
"Think i'm gonna rest me eyes John I'm feeling a bit knackered"
"Alright babe. I'll wake y' up when we get there"
Kayleigh closed her eyes and soon fell asleep. Jim made sure she was asleep before taking a few more quick peeks at her, and talked about her to John
"So she's your bird eh John?" Jim gestured to Kayleigh who was now fast asleep in the back
"Aye. She is"
"I tell y' what I was not expecting that!"
"What?"
"Her! Fuck me, she's fit as fuck! Why didn't y' tell me she were fit?"
"Well y' know me Jim I don't like to brag"
"I'd be fucking bragging if me bird looked like that! Ooh hoo hoo! Not sure about the dress though"
John wasn't impressed. "Jesus Christ Jim will y' listen to yourself"
"What? I'm just saying"
"It's not the 19th pissing century anymore Jim! She's a woman, not a bloody sex object! She's more than just a pretty face, and a shag, she's got feelings, she's a person for Christ sake! Why, what were y' expecting her to look like?"
Jim shook his head. "I don't know, some fat bird or summat. If you're owt to go by"
"Y' cheeky fucker!"
"You're one lucky bastard you John. As if you managed to pull her! Y' got any tips for me mate?"
"If it weren't for us car sharing to work she'd 'ave still just been a stranger I sometimes see at work. Thank fuck for Kath Hilton starting the car sharing scheme" he smiled. "I'm gonna 'ave to thank her for bringing Kayleigh into me life I am"
Xxxxxx
Kayleigh was in John's dressing room before his gig fussing over him
"Okay are you sure you don't want any water or anything? You sure your nerves aren't gonna make you sick?"
"I ain't nervous. I know these gigs like the back of me hand, been doing 'em for that long. Kayleigh stop fussing. I said I'm alright, alright?"
"I just want to look after you John, make sure you're okay. That's what girlfriends do"
John got up, he moved towards her and took her hands so they intertwined with his
"I've told y' I'm fine. More than fine. I'm on top of the bloody world right now, now we're finally together"
"Awwww John"
John wrapped his arms round Kayleigh's waist, holding her tightly and pulling her in for a kiss
"Anyway y' best get your seat we'll be starting soon"
"Good luck" she reached up to wipe some sweat from his face
"I've got all the luck I need, being wi' you. Now go on get a seat. Preferably right at the front so I can see y'"
Kayleigh smiled at him sweetly as she walked out of the room after blowing him a kiss. "Love you"
"I love you too" he smiled back at her and felt butterflies in his tummy
Xxxxxx
Kayleigh was seated at the front while John and Jim walked on stage with their keyboards and other musical instruments. Before they started John had an announcement to make through the microphone
"Okay ladies and gentlemen listen up. I want to dedicate this first song, well I tell a lie, I want to dedicate every song, to the most important person in me life, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, the love of me life, Miss Kayleigh Kitson this is for you"
The audience clapped and cheered
"Awww" Kayleigh's heart melted and happy tears rolled down her face
As John started singing he never once took his eyes off Kayleigh who was beaming with delight. Jim was watching her too but she ignored him
#You walk out alone and I follow you
#The noise of the city you know that I know
#And I think that you know that I'll only love you tonight
#Woah tonight
#In the city, you're so pretty there tonight
#Eyes are staring, you're hardly wearing a thing tonight# John winked suggestively at Kayleigh who giggled
#But you're mine, woah, and I'm not gonna let you go
#Cos you mean everything to me
#And I'll never ever set you free. Ohhhh Kayleigh
#You are the love of me life
#And I hope one day you'll be me wife
Compendium performed more songs
Xxxxx
After the gig finished and everyone had gone Kayleigh went to join John on stage
"You were amazing out there. I'm so proud of you"
"Thanks babe"
Kayleigh reached up to plant a kiss on John. Jim came back from the toilet and wolf whistled her, which made her uncomfortable and John was annoyed that he was still bothering her
"Jim knock that off will y'!"
"Oi oi girl! Where's my kiss eh? I'm sure a fit bird like you should be giving both band members a snog"
"Fuck sake Jim! I'll knock your fucking head off if y' carry on talking about her like that! Babe i'm just gonna go for a piss I won't be long"
"Please let me come with you John. I can't stay here with him!" she mouthed
"I'd take y' wi' me if i could but it's men's khazi y' can't! Look, I'll be as quick as I can"
After John had gone Kayleigh moved to the other end of the stage to get away from Jim. But he followed her and squeezed her bum, to her horror. She flinched as he put his hand on her shoulder
"Hey up love I've been thinking, how d'ya fancy a threesome sometime eh? If John can have some fun wi' y' so can I. Give us both a good time and all that?"
Kayleigh felt a bit of sick come up in her mouth and borked. "Get the f'ing hell away from me you f'ing creep! I'd rather pull me own eyes out with an f'ing stick"
"Think about it though won't y'? I know I will" Jim put his hands down his pants and started touching himself while looking at her. Kayleigh opened her mouth, but no sound came out
John came back from the toilet and caught Jim fiddling
"What the! Jim what the fuck are y' doing?!" An embarrassed Jim quickly pulled his hands out of his pants
"Nowt mate!"
Xxxxx
The car ride home after they had dropped Jim home, Kayleigh was traumatised by his perverted comments. John was worried about her, she had been quiet since they left the gig
"Are y' alright babe, y' 'aven't said two words since we left me gig. What were Jim doing when I come out of the toilet like?"
Kayleigh shuddered. "If you don't know I'm not telling you John"
"He liked y' didn't he eh? Think he had the hots for y'. Right ladies man is Jim"
"He's not a ladies man John! Will you stop saying that! He's minging John, and he's a dirty old pervert!" Kayleigh screwed her face up. "When you were gone the sick bastard squeezed me arse, asked me if we could have a threesome, then he started wanking off while looking at me!"
John froze. After a pause he yelled in shock and anger."Y' WHAT! I'll fucking kill him!"
Xxxxx
Kayleigh had been to collect Misty from Our Mandy's and said her goodbyes to her, Steve and the kids. Back in the car John's bluetooth speaker phone rung. It was Jim, he had an idea for a new song. As John answered it took him every inch of his being to stay calm
(Yes?)
(Eyup John mate I've just thought of a new song)
John's blood was boiling. He pulled over knowing he was gonna blow his stack (Oh aye? Shoot)
(Title's fit birds. 'Bout all the birds I think's fit. Including yours. Hey, y' alright mate, y' seem a bit pissed off about summat)
Kayleigh felt a shiver up her back and closed her eyes tightly. John grabbed her hand to comfort her then suddenly exploded, making Kayleigh jump and Misty started barking loudly
(Are y' fucking surprised eh?! After what you said and did to Kayleigh d'ya really expect me to be owt but!)
(Eh John what?)
(Don't you fucking what me Jim! I know exactly what y' did. And I know what y' said n all!)
(I didn't say or do owt to her John I just asked her summat chill mate)
(I ain't your pissing mate no more! And I ain't gonna fucking chill when y' pretty much sexually 'arrassed me girlfriend y' disgusting prick. Y' squeezed her arse, y' asked her for a threesome. Oh don't y' worry Jim I know, she telled me)
Jim denied it (Well she's chatting shit. Not my fault she wants it is it?)
Kayleigh's eyes widened in horror. John took her hand, and mouthed "'S'alright babe I'll sort this"
(Oh aye, and y' jacked your beanstalk in front of her. She telled me everything she did. She doesn't want owt from y', it's all in your warped head. She said y' were a creep, maybe I should've listened to her)
(Wow, she's really got you wrapped round her little finger hasn't she? Y' believe everything the daft sexy cow says)
(I'm fucking warning y' Jim, if y' carry on-i'll go back to your house and I'll beat the fucking shit outta y')
(Your bird's a slag mate. I saw her, eying up other blokes when you weren't there. If they'd have gone over she'd have dropped her knickers there and then, wouldn't give you a second thought John. Dirty bitch, I got her sussed, don't you worry. She's trying to drive a wedge between us John. Our band)
Tears were running down Kayleigh's face. She buried her head into John's shoulder and he hugged her tightly while wiping her tears away
(D'ya know summat Jim, i always knew y' were an 'orny bugger, but now I can see what a sick fucking dirty bastard y' are n all. We ain't got a band no more Jim. I'm gonna go solo from now on. So fuck off)
With that, John turned the phone off
Kayleigh looked at him. "John it's not true what he said, I wasn't eying up any other men. You believe me don't you? I'd never do that, I'm not that kind of girl and I love you John"
John kissed her forehead. "Hey hey course I believe y' babe. I know you wouldn't do that. It's him innit, it's all him"
As they started driving again the bluetooth speaker phone rung for a second time. John thought it was Jim again
He impulsively roared at the phone making Misty bark again ('Arrassing me now as well are y' y' dirty fucking bastard! What d'ya want?)
(Who's harrassing someone John? It's me)
The voice on the other end was Nana Rose. John felt guilty and embarrassed while Kayleigh couldn't help but giggle
(Oh hiya Nana. D'ya want me to bring y' your dairy box?)
(I've got me dairy box John. Lisa brought it me this morning. Now what's this about harrassing someone?)
(S'alright Nana it's nowt. Lisa brought it did she? Very good. Save me a job if nowt else. Are y' alright? What's up?)
(Our Paul's had an accident at work. He's in hospital. I've just been to see him)
(Jesus. Is he okay?)
(We don't know what happened our John. It were some kind of freak accident. I've offered to look after the banes at their house while Lisa's seeing how Paul is in hospital, but they keep saying they want their uncle John so Lisa's given me a lift home. You're gonna 'ave to go round to Our Paul's to look after em, Lisa can't if she's at hospital, bless her)
(They want me d' they?)
(Take the banes out somewhere or summat. Tell em everything's gonna be right as rain. Make sure y' take em to see Our Paul n all)
(I will do Nan, I'm on me way)
(Is everything well with your lady friend now our John? Oni last time I rung y' y' said you were 'aving a bit of trouble wi' her)
(Oh aye, it's going great guns now wi' me and Kayleigh)
(Ooh i'm made up for y' John I am. You'll 'ave to bring her round sometime so I can meet her. I hope it works out for y' any road. I don't want you and your lady friend going the same way as you and your other lady friend)
(That won't 'appen Nan. This one's for keeps this time. She makes me 'appier than I've ever been does Kayleigh. I'll never let her slip through me fingers)
(I hope y' won't our John! Any road, I'm gonna have to go now. Ta ra)
(See y' Nana)
"D'ya 'ear that eh? Lisa this Lisa that, Lisa's best thing since sliced bloody bread at the minute! I bloody hope Our Paul's okay"
Kayleigh put her hand on his arm to comfort him
"I'm sure he'll be fine John. Guess I won't be moving into yours tonight"
"What y' on about? We moved your stuff in earlier on all we need now is for you and Misty to move yourselves in today"
Xxxxx
John dropped Kayleigh and Misty off at his. Kayleigh didn't want him to go
"If you leave me John I've got no one to cuddle up to!"
"I've gotta go look after our Ben and Sophie! You're not gonna be on your own. You've got Misty. Cuddle her. Besides, you've moved in now, we'll be cuddling up every day and night of the week for the rest of our lives. Well we'll be doing more than just cuddling if y' know what I mean" he winked suggestively which made her laugh
"I'll let you go if you promise me you'll give me a goodnight kiss first"
"What y' on about, goodnight kiss? It's not even night yet!"
"I don't know when you'll be back John, or whether you'll be back tonight"
John kissed Kayleigh but just as he was about to pull away she deepened the kiss before showering him with mini kisses, making him blush bright red. His voice went high pitched
"Bloody hellfire let me go will y' woman!"
"I don't know if I'll see you again today John. So I'm making up for it now"
"Get on wi' y'. Get your arse in me house" he said as he got in his car. "'Ere, have me stetson, wear it if y' want" he took his hat off and gave it to her
"Make sure you text me!" She called and he nodded
She held Misty in her arms and waved and smiled as he drove off, just like she always did before they got together. She sighed happily at the smell of him in the hat. Kayleigh Kitson was on cloud nine right now, she'd finally got the man of her dreams, and she wanted it to last forever. She remembered John saying if it's meant to be, it'll be. She knew this time, it was meant to be