Chapter 1
Every now and then, it's normal for everyone to think about wanting to be someone else. It's not that their lives are terrible or that they don't enjoy who they are, it's just that creating yourself as a new person has a wonderful feel to it. It feels like you're changing the world you're in, choosing to see the world in a new way. It feels like there is a whole another world out there that you've never seen before because you were locked into a persona, locked into a personality. But suddenly you decide to change your music, change your clothes, change the way you perceive the world. And there's a new life.
This new life can be whatever you want it to be. The only limitations are your imagination or sanity. You can be the bad guy if you want. You can be good and help your fellow man. You may choose to not do either of those things. It's a liberating, soul cleansing experience that makes you feel new.
If you don't know this feeling, just give it time. You'll understand when you become complacent in your life. When you feel as though you're stuck and you can't figure out where to go from here. Some people move to a new city. Some find new lovers. Many get frustrated and try to go with the flow. But it hits them eventually. I would give anything to be someone else right now. Is this a midlife crisis? Maybe. But who knows when midlife exactly is? You never know when you're going to die, the moment that you truly have reached your midlife. But how would I have known that when I was always taught midlife was in your forties or fifties. I never thought my life would be shorter than that. How can you have a midlife crisis at just nine? There was no way I knew then that I would be just eighteen when I die. Maybe if I had done this earlier I wouldn't be in this situation.
I'll be dead in two days.