A/N: This is a very short little piece describing my interpretation of Bella's emotions towards the end of Eclipse (my personal favourite of the saga) when she realises she's in love with Jacob too. Hope you enjoy (: R&R please?
I never believed it was possible to be torn between two people. Surely if you were truly in love with somebody, your devoted heart would never find the power to wrench itself, even partially, from the one soul it had dedicated itself to beat for? I had decided long ago that anybody who made such a claim could not really be in love with anybody, save for perhaps themselves.
But then I felt that small, yet still so vitally significant part of my heart tear itself away from the whole with such an overwhelming wave of pain that for a moment I was almost convinced it really was physical, and I knew that it was possible: the evidence was right there, where I stood kissing Jacob, knowing that I loved him with the burning passion that lived, hidden for so long, inside that irreparable piece of my heart.
After he had left, the repercussions of my sudden realisation hit me abruptly like an iron fist. I would have to suffer a lot of pain now. Who knew how long it would last? I didn't care at the moment; my pain was completely deserved. I was almost looking forward to the justification it would be when I finally felt the force of it. No, the sickening jolts of panic that was currently spreading through my system like an uncontained fire was not selfish fear for my own well-being. I'd already been inexcusably selfish for far too long now. It was Jacob and Edward. I knew my disgusting behaviour would affect them just as deeply. What had they done to deserve this? To deserve me?
The broken shard of my heart was fighting a losing battle, I knew that from the moment I realised its existence. Selfishly, I wished I could allow it to keep trying, fruitless as the attempt would be, just for the excuse to avoid losing Jacob for just a while longer…but I knew I couldn't.
Then Edward was at my side, and despite all the pain and the guilt and the on-going panic of the battle, the almost-but-not-quite whole of my heart knew that it belonged.