This is based on Never Let Me Go. What if Andrea and Leo didn't get back together after their huge fight? This is what life would've been like- from the moment they met- to what life would've been like for each.
She's fourteen when she met the love of her life, on that sunny summer day in September. It was her first day at the Academy, and she was the youngest Cadet there. After spending her lunch break with her father, she made her way back towards the dorms, when she bumped into him.
"Whoa! Sorry, Darlin'" he says, as he helps her off the floor.
"S'okay!" she quickly replies, because she's slightly embarrassed and in a hurry.
"Knocking ladies off their feet already?" another man asks, as he makes his way over to them.
"Shut up, Jim!"
Jim laughs and smiles at her, "Hi, Jim Kirk," he introduces himself, holding his hand out.
She smiles softly. "Andrea Romano," she says, as she shakes Jims hand.
It's not her real last name, but it's what she wanted. To protect herself and her father, because she would be damned if anyone tried to use her to get ahead.
Her hero smiles at her as she shakes his hand, "Leonard McCoy."
It's at that moment, when she falls in love with the man from Georgia.
She's seventeen, going on eighteen, when she sneaks onboard the Enterprise, a trip that would change her life forever. The truth finally comes out, that she is the daughter of Captain Christopher Pike, and both Jim and Leo are hurt beyond words because she lied about her true identity. It's Christopher boarding a shuttle to surrender himself to Nero, so she could get away safely. It's Leo dragging her into a closet, screaming at her for lying and finally learning that she was seventeen- just forty-eight hours shy of turning eighteen.
"Are you insane!" he screams, shaking her by the shoulders.
And she is, because this is her life. Starships and being a doctor. It's her entire life, the definition of who she is. It's also the fear of losing everyone she's ever loved- her father, Jim, Leo, Nyota, Aunt Kitty, - that makes her jump before looking. It's making new friends and trying to cope with her father missing, that calms her down, despite the dread that's growing within her. When Christopher is rescued, she doesn't leave his side, for fear that he will vanish into thin air. It's Leo who promises her that he'll be all right and she believes him, because he's never lied to her.
She's eighteen when she lost him. It was only a few months after the battle of Vulcan, when her life changed. The near-death experience that her father had, made her really sit down at think. While everyone talks about going back for missions, she can't help the change of heart she's experienced. It's during a meeting with Admiral Barnett, that she finally realizes that there is more to life, and she wants out. It's a lovely date with Leo- Sushi and loving glances across the candlelit table, followed by a walk in the park- that ends it all.
"You know, when we get back up there, we need to find a place to do this more often. I don't know about you, but I need to be able to kiss you without getting catcalls and dealing with ridiculous injuries," he breathed against her ear.
She is so stupid to tense up at the mention of going back into space, and she quickly tries to play it off that it's nothing but a shiver. But Leo is older and he's not stupid, because Jocelyn used to do the same thing whenever he mentioned something that was a "big plan". When he asks if she wants to make their relationship known, she let's the truth come out and she knows it's a done deal.
"I'm leaving the Academy.."
It's screaming and yelling, with name-calling and accusations. It's a slap across Leo's face when he accuses her of sleeping with Jim, then running all the way back home. It's Leo breaking into the house the next morning, screaming at her because he's drunk and out of his mind. It's her father and Jim, watching in the hallway, as Leo begs, and god how he begs, for her to stay with him and to come back. It's her father telling him to get the hell out, because no one has the right to physically harm his baby. Then it's Leo, piercing her right in the heart when he looks at her with tears in his eyes, that makes her want to die.
""I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. Drives me goddamn crazy, lovin' you,"
After the incident, they hardly speak to one another. Time goes by, and everyone heads onto their missions and she begins her life over and makes new friends. It's late a night, when she finally lets the fake happy smiles fall, and cries herself to sleep. It's the voice in her head, that tells her how stupid she is for letting him go.
She's twenty-one, when she marries Pavel Chekov. She marries him because he's nice and she enjoys his company. They're both young and taking this journey into the adult world together. She also marries him because it's safe. It saves her from being alone forever and she tells herself that she loves him. It's at the reception when Leo finally comes up to her, dressed in his best, and congratulates her.
"You're the prettiest bride I've ever seen,"
It's a quick kiss on the cheek and watching his retreating back, that excuses her from her husband's side, as she quickly leaves the reception hall and runs outside to breathe. She grips the railing and looks out at the ocean, trying to block out images of Leo standing at the alter waiting for her. It's not fair to Pavel and it's not fair to everyone who came to wish them the best of luck on this new journey. She made her choice, and she had to live with it.
It's her father, during a dance, that breaks her heart when he asks: "Are you sure you're going to be happy?"
And she smiles softly at him and says "Yes Daddy. I'm going to be the happiest girl in the world,"
She's twenty-three, when she gives birth to her first child. A little boy. But it's six hours after she brings him into this world, that he leaves it. Christian Alexander Chekov, the light of his parents' lives, leaves them after a nine-month wait. It's two weeks after his death that Andrea says "No" to more children. Pavel, who is too sweet to her, can't find the heart to fight with her, because his baby is gone too.
It's nightmares and late night calls to her daddy, that turn her into a shell of her former self. It's Christopher trying to comfort his baby, while she's a million miles away up in the stars, while he stays on Earth. It's her best friends trying to cheer her up, but fail as she sits quietly on the couch in her quarters. It's the blame she puts on Pavel for giving her a weak child, though she never says it out loud. Had it been Leo's, it would've lived because he's stronger and fate wouldn't get in the way. But it's seven years too late, and she struggles to deal with it.
She's twenty-six when Leo dies. It's during his stay on the U.S.S Huckleberry, to treat some disease that only he knows the cure for, when the vessel is under attack. It's hours after he's dead, that they get the message. It's her father's face on the screen, who regretfully utters the words that ruin her forever.
"At 0700 today, the U.S.S Huckleberry was attacked by Klingon war birds. There are no survivors. "
It's enough to make her hide form everyone, including her husband, as she screams and cries, throwing things around her room. It's the fact that her true love is dead and gone forever, because of a goddamn idiot who got sick. It's fate laughing at her after all this time, because she was a goddamn fool. It's a few weeks after his death, that she gets a call from his lawyer. She's sitting on the couch after her shift in medical, when the call comes through.
"Ah, Mrs. Chekov. I'm Robert Langston.. Doctor McCoy's lawyer…"
It's the news that Leo has given her full custody of Joanna, his baby girl, whom she's only met twice. It doesn't make any sense and she tells Robert this, as he reads Leo's will out to her. They hardly spoke to each other since she married Pavel, and it's why she never knew that Jocelyn died in a car accident and Joanna was left with her grandparents ever since. She's fourteen now and has no mother or father to guide her through this life. It's telling Pavel that Leo left his child to her that causes a fight. It's angry hate sex and her tears that make him realize, that his wife would never love him like she loves Leo. He is nothing compared to the good doctor and it's a feeling he carries with him for the rest of his life.
She's thirty-five, when Joanna get's married to her boyfriend, Thomas. She's a beautiful bride and a wonderful "daughter", that's brought much light to her life since Leo died. What started as a struggle in the beginning turns into a strong bond between the two, which helps them heal through the pain. She finds herself happy to wake up in the morning, and to enjoy life.
"I never told you this.. but before my daddy died, he called me when the ship was under attack,"
It's the new bride and her "mother" sitting outside on the porch, watching the stars as the party is in full swing inside.
"He told me he loved me and to be a good girl. But then he said, "You tell Andrea…You tell her that I-" before the call was cut. He was going to say that he still loved you. After all those years, my daddy never stopped lovin' you. You made him happy- despite everythin' you made Leonard McCoy the happiest man in the universe,"
Later that night, she's alone in bed as Pavel sleeps downstairs on the couch. It's hours of sobbing and looking at old photographs, to make her realize that she will never live down the mistake she made.
She's sixty-five when her friends start to die. Cancer. Car accidents. Liver failure. Old age. One by one, they start to leave her life. Joanna is always there with her, as well as Pavel and her father- who is still kicking at a hundred and two, that help her through the pain. When she hits seventy, Jim dies and she's destroyed. The cocky bastard, who she loved as a brother, is gone and she hopes to god that she's next. She's not too old to climb into her fathers' bed, where he holds her as she cries.
She's seventy-five when her daddy dies. The first man she ever loved is gone and it's not until the day after the funeral that she begins marking the days off the calendar to get an idea of how many days will go by until she too dies as well. It's been too many years, which she can't recall because her mind is slowly slipping away, since she last saw the man who stole her heart and she beings to ponder of what life could've been had she stayed. If she didn't let go.
She's eighty-one when Pavel dies, and she finally admits that she was an awful wife to him.
"You verent avfel, Andrea. I just could newer replace him. I still and will alvays love you,"
It's the last words he'll ever speak, as he closes his eyes and moves on from this world to the next.
She's just shy of her one hundred and one birthday, when she finally dies in her sleep. Its just hours after she tells her grandchildren and great-grandchildren a story about a young woman and her "southern gentleman" who fall in love and travel through space. Joanna knows what her mother is talking about, but doesn't let on. As she tells the story, she can picture his face and all the moments they had together- though they were short-lived. The day they met to the night they broke-up. It's years of regret and what-if's, all piled into the dreams she's had for years, long after he died. But she's made it this far and it's something she has to accept.
It's a bright light and the clean hallways of the Enterprise coming into view, that make her realize that she's dead. It's looking down and seeing young hands instead of old wrinkly ones, kissed with age-spots and veins. It's her snow-white hair that thinned out over the year, that's long and red- full with curls. It's wearing a beautiful white gown- one that she dreamed of marrying Leo in long before they finally dated- that covers her youthful body. It's looking up and seeing her husband standing before her, seventeen and smiling. It's a nod of the head and a small smile, which makes her realize that he understands. They are not meant to reunite in this life and he's come to understand that.
When she walks down the hall, it's seeing Jim's face after all these years.
"Took you long enough"
Then it's her daddy, waiting for her by the lifts. He's young and smiling at her, as she hugs him.
"He's waiting for you, Honey Bee,"
They all climb into the lift and it's seconds before the doors open and she's surrounded by everyone she's ever loved and lost in her life. It's Nyota smiling with tears in her eyes, while Spock stands next to her. Scotty holding a bottle of scotch, grinning like a fool, as she makes her way through the crowd of people. Then it's her father, standing with a smile, nodding as she steps up onto the raise platform of the bridge. It's turning her attention from her father, to the figure facing the stars in the night sky.
He turns around and smiles, holding his hand out. She takes it and lets him pull her close to him, his hands settling on her waist as she smiles. He looks just the same like that awful night, many years ago when both their hearts broke. Neither say a word, because they both know. The endless "I'm sorry" "I've missed you" and "I love you's" will come later. But for now, the look in their eyes and the smiles on their young faces- is enough to get the point across.
She's forever eighteen, when she goes into the arms and kisses him as if it was the first time. The former crewmembers of the Enterprise clap and cheer, with smiles on their face, as they all start this journey together into the afterlife, here in the deep abyss of the twinkling night sky.