A/N: The following is a parody and a fanfiction. I own only my characters and the plot. I also don't apologize for the following political jokes, but I will apologize if any other joke offends you.
The Warper News Network (the series)
January 2018
(Cues: Z-TV Techno Song)
The logo flashes with three letters, "WNN", the Warper News Network. WNN is one of the three major news networks among reality warpers.
"WNN, the place that's not fake-conservative Fox, idiotically liberal MSNBC, and more classy than Nude News Network. We're the Warper News Network bringing you our neutral outlook! Introducing your favorite anchors, God of Destruction Beerus and his much cooler assistant, Whis." The announcer said as the lights shine on the set.
Beerus and Whis were in matching business suits instead of their usual wear. This time they are wearing New Year's Hats.
"Hello mortals and deities, welcome to the New Year!" Beerus said before sipping at his coffee.
"This marks the second year for Mirai Yoshi Studios with their anniversary in February." Whis said warmly. "On other news, Hercule Satan has been ousted as king. The investigation came to an end to reveal several felonious charges of money laundering, failure to pay child support, and tax evasion. King Furry has been brought back and Hercule has been arrested along with his cabinet. We cut to our reporter in the field."
The camera changed to show a prison where Raditz is pointing to several cells with one of having Hercule in them.
"So, Hercule? What do you have to say for yourself?" Raditz asked Hercule.
"I did not lie about my taxes." Hercule said plain-faced.
Raditz was not amused.
"Cut back to Whis." Raditz said walking off. "To hell with him, and his party."
The camera changed back to Whis and Beerus who looked sleepy considering they were up all night. They lazily passed on duties to their new co-anchors before passing out asleep. The camera changed to two new faces. Who did WNN hire to be their anchors? Why? Kyu SugarDust and Tora Maelstrom who are both in suits.
"What's up, my little warplings? Didn't except us to work here?" Tora said being rather bombastic.
"Yes, we'll be making appearances here and there. Don't worry, Stardew fans. This is all between chapters." Kyu said with a wink. "On other news, famed recluse warper, Dimentio and his wife Mimi has stepped into the light. Becoming one of the few warpers that stayed under the radar, he was dragged by Katsumi Blackthorn the Second."
An image of half-masked Dimentio and Mimi's full is projected.
"Both he and his wife are wanted for 100 million flat." Tora explained. "And their home universe is always neighboring a hotspot for Warper Miis. It's even rumored that Dimentio was dealing and trading with them."
"Even though, information on him and his universe, SM-256, are limited at the moment due to the slow registration process. However, there are clans and business across the multiverse preparing deals to trade with the universe. A few thrill-seeking warpers are even venturing there for a crack at it." Tora said showing footages of a few warpers heading for the universe in question.
Before Kyu could speak, gunshots and explosions rang in the air sending the two scrambling to the ground.
"Well, it seems we'll have to cancel early. These idiots seem to want to shoot up the skies all night!" Tora said. "I'm Tora, and she's Kyu."
"We're watching you fap!" Kyu teased.
The broadcast ends when the camera is shot.
(A/N: Real life gunshots in the air is the reason this is so short. As you noticed, this piece references a few fanfictions. This is the start of a new series as all of the WNN will go here, and it'll be a once a month deal. There might be bonus posts between the months if there is demand for it though. To 2018, may it be all our golden years.)
Ending Theme - It's The End Of The Year As We Know It (Stephen Colbert)
A/N: The following is a parody and a fanfiction. I own only my characters and the plot. I also don't apologize for the following political jokes, but I will apologize if any other joke offends you.