Prologue
Citadel/Crucible Control Deck
2186
This wasn't turning out anything like I was hoping, but then again, the universe seems to have set me up as a magnet for this sort of thing.
These are the thoughts bouncing through my head as I stand at the junction between the Citadel and the Catalyst, at the precipice of years of work, trillions of credits, and billions of lives. Probably should've known that no production of this scale was going to be resolved simply.
It all started a month ago, with me sitting in a prison cell on Earth as a political prisoner after I destroyed the Alpha Relay in order to slow the Reapers down. The explosion definitely but a damper on the Reapers' arrival, but as it also took out the entire Bahak system and every one of the over 300,000 people on the batarian colony of Aratoht, I wasn't exactly being sung my praises. Not that I would have been much for accepting accolades after how everything fell out. From the cold calculus of war, the colony world and its population were a ridiculously low price to pay to save the countless billions of the galaxy for just a little longer. But then, I was never big on that way of thinking, and even without the imprisonment and threats of court-martial, I felt I deserved worse.
Not that any of that mattered in the end, since the Reapers just plowed through to Earth anyway, as well as the home planets of every other species.
The last month had rushed past in a blur, grabbing every resource that was available to muster the kind of overwhelming push needed to destroy the Reapers. In that time I'd seen and done a lot of things that no one would have believed were possible this time last year. I'd seen war bring out the best and worst of people, seen the unimaginable horrors that the Reapers made of their victims, and watched entire planets burn. I'd also forged impossible alliances between the krogan and the Council races, as well as between the geth and the quarians. I'd helped assemble the single greatest fighting force in the history of the galaxy.
Of course, Reapers weren't the only thing making my life difficult. Cerberus, my former allies against the threat of the Reaper harvest, had suddenly reversed their stance and attempted to tear down the war effort as best they could. The Illusive Man had been ruthless in his effort to augment his soldiers, deploying them to devastating effect against both military and civilian targets. Ostensibly, they were attempting to stop us from destroying the Reapers so they could be controlled for humanities benefit, but really the Illusive Man had been exposed to just enough Reaper tech for indoctrination to set in. Only after he had nearly handed the war to the Reapers did he realize what he had become, and like Saren before him, he killed himself rather than continue doing the Reapers bidding.
Of course by that point the damage was already done. Mordin sacrificed himself to cure the genophage, Miranda died saving her sister and shutting down Cerberus' false Sanctuary, where refugees were used in horrific experiments in the interest of controlling the Reapers. Thane had died protecting the salarian Councilor from a Cerberus assassination attempt. Legion had shut down just after gaining true sentience in order to spread the gift to the other geth. And Anderson, Shepard's mentor, was killed by the Illusive Man during the boarding of the Citadel. Combined with the general stresses of fighting for the survival of organic life, these losses nearly made me give up hope. That, of course, was until Tali came back into my life.
After we took down the Collector base and the Alpha Relay, we'd had a few more days together before I had to return to the Local Cluster to turn myself in. That time was some of the happiest of my life, but also the saddest, since we both knew it was the last peaceful time we would have together, but we did our best to ignore it. Tali continued to acclimate to being exposed to me, and we spent as much time together as we could, having dinner, watching extranet vids, talking about what we would do if we survived the war, and most often just lying in our bed after a long night together just holding each other. The time I spent in Alliance holding was made even harder by my separation from her, so when I heard reports of the Flotilla in the vicinity of the Perseus Veil, I dropped everything I could and joined up with the fleet as quickly as I could.
When I first saw her, sporting the title of Admiral for the first time, I was terrified that too much time had passed, that things had changed and she no longer wanted to be with me. Bless that girl's heart, she crushed those worries in about a minute, and even though the circumstances weren't ideal, we were as happy as we could have been. During the final effort to retake Rannoch, Tali finally told me the she loved me, and it gave me the drive I needed to defeat the local Reaper, secure a truce between the quarians and the geth, and finally fill Rael'Zorah's promise of giving Tali her homeworld back. If that doesn't qualify as a romantic gesture, I don't know what does.
That, of course, doesn't come close to repaying Tali for all she did to keep me grounded and sane during the final desperate weeks of the campaign. She helped keep me from slipping into despair after my devastating loss to Kai Leng on Thessia, which cost us the much-needed data on completing the Catalyst. She stuck with me during the siege of the Cerberus base, affirming her continued faith in me and reminding me what I was fighting for, and helping me find the final key to defeating the Reapers.
Then, of course, came the assault on Earth. The first part of the assault went as well as it possibly could have; my entire team made it to the ground, we secured a forward operations base, we said our goodbyes and good lucks, and me and Tali comforted each other about the possibility losing each other as best we could. We destroyed the Reaper blocking access to the transported to the Citadel and gathered for the final push. Then Harbinger decided to make an appearance. It almost killed Garrus and Tali. I swear I almost dropped right there when I saw her fall, but she came through it, injured but alive. I called Joker in to get the two of them out of there. As Garrus took Tali aboard the Normandy, she turned back and begged me, pleaded with me not to leave her behind, to take her with me, that her home was not on Rannoch but with me on the Normandy. The fear and despair in her voice, so close to how innocent she sounded when I first met her, almost made me jump on that ship with her, Reapers be damned.
But I couldn't. It broke my heart into more pieces I can easily count, but I had a duty. I had to press on to ensure that no one else would lose the people they loved, that all those now living and all those who would ever live would have their chance, and to ensure that Tali got out of this alive, even if I couldn't. So I squeezed her hand, wishing more than anything that I could see her face one more time, then waved at the crew to get her aboard and leave. As I watched the Normandy fly off, I was consoled that at least my friends and the love of my life would be safe, and things seemed peaceful for just a moment.
Then Harbinger took another pot shot at me and things got a bit fuzzy. I was badly hurt, but managed to get aboard the Citadel. Anderson and I took care of the Illusive Man, but Anderson died in the process. Then the Catalyst connected and I was whisked off to the control deck, where I learned my options.
So here I am, standing at the precipice of three choices that will have massive consequences for the entire galaxy. To my right is the key to destroying the Reapers, breaking the cycle forever, but also wiping out the geth and EDI, possibly also killing myself. Directly ahead of me is my death leading to the fusion of organic and synthetic life. To my left is a set of terminals that will allow me to upload my consciousness to replace the current Reaper controller, giving me absolute control over the Reapers. The only cost will be my body.
I consider destruction. I had set out to destroy the Reapers, and doing so seems to be the only way to ensure that the cycle of extinction will never begin again. Of course, I couldn't take that option. I had just granted the geth true sentience, to say nothing of what losing EDI would do to Joker. It may be possible to restore them in time, but that's not a risk I'm willing to take.
Synthesis is equally unattractive. There's no guarantee that synthesis will work as planned, and forcing such an evolution on everyone could cause a lot of problems.
And so I come to control. Replacing the Reaper controller has some appeal. My consciousness directing the Reaper's would likely ensure that the cycle would remain broken, since I could never consider doing something so awful, and controlling the Reapers will allow me to use their collective knowledge to the benefit of all life. Of course, I lose my body, but I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I probably won't be walking out of here alive.
I think of all the people who have sacrificed to bring me to this point, everyone who supported me and every challenge I've overcome. And of course Tali continues to bounce around my head, how much I love her, how much I want to continue to be with her and protect her.
In the end the choice is simple.
As I stand before the terminals, I take a few final deep breaths, mixed with a little prayer to whoever may be listening, and grab hold. And let me say right now, being disintegrated isn't nearly as painful as one would imagine. I watch myself begin to flake apart, the system scanning my every feature for storage, with such intensity that my body continues to disintegrate. The affected areas tingle briefly, then stop feeling anything at all. Even as I continue to fall apart, the knowledge of all the previous civilizations, as well as Leviathan and the Reapers themselves, begins to pour into me. In a brief crystalizing instant, I feel and echo of myself within and without the system, spreading a single word out to the Reapers linked to the Citadel.
Cease.
I begin combing over all the information I can as quickly as possible. There's less of me left to hold on to the terminals, and I know my time is short. I find what I'm looking for in an instant, information that makes our cycle's finest achievements in science look like grade school projects, that make even marvels like the Lazarus Project look crude and unwieldy. Perfect.
As my vision starts to fade, I send on final directive to the copy of my consciousness within the Citadel. I feel a strange energy close around me as the last of my skin fades away.
"I keep my promises, Tali," I think to myself.
And then everything goes dark.