The alarm went off, loud and just out of nowhere. I groaned, opening my eyes and stared at my bright buzzing phone on the nightstand next to the bed. I raised my head off the bed and quickly swiped at the screen, unlocking my phone, and ultimately silencing the loud ringing of the alarm. I sighed out, rolling onto my back and rubbed my eyes with my fists, much like a baby does. I yawned, a small T-Rex noise escaping and raised my knees, bending them. When I lowered my hands form my face, I turned my head to the right and couldn't help but smile. The cutest buddle of man was curled up in a ball next to me, shirtless, clutching around the blanket around him. I turned quickly but softly as to not wake him an lay on my side facing him. He remained sound asleep, so I took the opportunity to put my hand under the blanket and gently rub over his skin on his hip. His eyebrows bunched together as he groaned quietly and then, finally opened his eyes. Shiny light green eyes stared at me, and in the soft moon light coming through the open window behind me, I saw him smile small, but it faded fast. "Is it already 3?" I shook my head softly and scooted closer to him, setting my forehead against his. "How come you're awake?"

"I set my alarm for 2:30 so I could cuddle with you before I left." He smiled bigger closing his eyes, and one of his hands rubbed over my left peck before dipping down behind my back. His hand was cold, but I didn't care. "I don't want to go to work."

"You shouldn't have offered to cover for Matt…" He opened his eyes, giving me his classic, you should have listened to me but I brushed it off. "I think…I think I could motivate you to stay home." He raised an eyebrow and slowly raised himself into a sitting position. He pushed me on my back and quickly climbed on my lap, straddling me. He was completely nude. A very nice surprise for me at 2:30 in the morning. One of his hands went into my sweat pants and grabbed ahold of my limp dick. I closed my eyes smiling and raised my legs pushing him towards me. His hands went to my chest and he dug his fingertips into my skin. "Stay home please? I don't want you to go to work. Especially out in this weather." I laughed opening my eyes and he glared down at me.

"You know I can't Kendall. Besides…I'll be home before you know it. I'll probably be home before you wake up." He rolled his eyes, pushing his hand back in my pants, but I sat up fast. I wrapped an arm around his back and nudged my head into the side of his. I kissed his ear and moved my lips down to his neck where I started to greedily suck.

"Why did I have to fall in love with a paramedic? Why couldn't you have a boring job…like accountant?"

"Or own my own bakery?" My head was hit gently, and then my hair was pulled. I smirked looking up at his face and he smiled back.

"You're lucky you're handsome James. Otherwise…this wouldn't last for very long." I laughed and gently pushed him off me. "Where are you going?"

"Pee…do you mind?" I jumped off the bed, hearing him mumble under his breath, and glanced over my shoulder. He was already getting back under his blankets, yawning and being as cute as ever.

I took a quick shower not even bothering to shave. I was in and out of the shower within a few minutes, and when I got out, I wrapped a towel around my waist loosely and walked back out to Kendall. He was back asleep, which didn't surprise me. I walked to his side of the bed and put my hands outside his head kissing his forehead. "I'm gonna get going here in a minute…I wanna grab some breakfast before I got to work." He opened his eyes and nodded yawning again. "Get some sleep baby…I love you and I'll see you after work." He nodded again, and closed his eyes, snuggling back into the bed. I smiled down at him and stood back up turning to my closet. Dressed, and fully awake, I got in my car and drove to the closest Starbucks. I got my usual Caramel Frappuccino and a breakfast sandwich and went on my way. It was snowing still, from last night, but that was usual for Minnesota in November. It was probably dangerous to drive in this weather, while eating, and drinking but I wasn't going that far.

I felt horrible about where I was going, because I wasn't being honest to the one guy who has done nothing but love me and make me feel amazing. I hated lying to him. It killed me every single time I did, but I had no other choice. Well…that might be a lie. I could just stop. I could actually go to work when I said I was, instead of going to see…him. I honestly think it's the lowest of low, to cheat but, right now, in my state of mind, I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. I was seeing someone, who needed me. More so than Kendall did. Again…that was probably another lie. Kendall needed me. He loved me. And here I was, hurting him and destroying his trust. But what's that saying? What he doesn't know, can't hurt him?

I pulled up to the very familiar apartment complex and parked in a visitor parking space. I got out, taking my coffee with me and hurried up to apartment 14D. I climbed the stairs two at a time, to get out of the cold, but more importantly to see Logan. I stopped at the door and knocked three times shoving my hand into my pocket of my work pants. It didn't take more than 5 seconds for the door to be opened. I couldn't help but burst with happiness. He was wearing a sweater too baggy for him, and a pair of dark blue jeans, covered in paint spots here and there. He moved out of my way and I walked in, grateful for the warmth. "So you got yourself coffee, but none for me?" I smirked unzipping my black jacket and watched him shut and lock his door. He smiled at me as he walked by and went into his kitchen. "I'm just giving you a hard time. You hungry?" I shook my head softly and set my coffee on the counter, standing behind him. He stirred in some sugar and milk and turned to me taking a small sip. I pushed the hood off my head and walked to him, making him press against the counter behind him. He looked down setting his cup next to him and grabbed my sides. I put my hands on his neck and made him look up at me. His eyes locked with mine and I leaned into kiss him, just as his hands moved to my butt and shoved into my pockets. I moved forward just a little, and smashed our lips together. I wanted to devour him in his kitchen but our kiss was cut short. His hands went to mine on his neck, and he pushed away. We stayed close together but his head was turned away from me, blocking his lips form mine. "I need to tell you something before we do anything." I frowned and turned his head back to look at me. He bit his bottom lip and closed his eyes shaking his head. "Yesterday…I got a call from someone about a job." I smiled big and raised my eyebrows. He opened his eyes but when he saw me he chuckled and shook his head again. "It's for a café…well a bakery to be exact." He stopped and both of his hands moved to my belt around my waist. "If this wasn't as bad as we both know it is…Kendall calls me and asks me to redecorate his place." My whole entire world stopped on its axis and my head went blank. "I don't know what the hell I was thinking. But I said yes. I mean…he's very generous with the pay…I mean we still are going to be having a meeting with my guys but…."

"You said yes?" He froze and we locked eyes again. He swallowed hard but nodded, making me back away from him. We lost all contact from each other. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at the ground. "Logan…this is bad…like really bad."

"Well…what do you want me to do? Tell him I can't do it? You don't want me to take this job?" I frowned, but remained quiet. He looked up at me and shrugged, pouting. "Ever since my last job…which was almost a year ago, I've been doing stupid little projects here and there. I've been bored out of my God damn mind, and you know it. I get a chance to finally do what I love, for what I hear, to be an amazing guy, and you have a problem with it?!" I set my hands on the counter edge behind me and clenched my jaw tight. "This wouldn't be a problem if you weren't cheating on your boyfriend! And this wouldn't be a problem if you knew how to be a man and tell him the truth! I'm not going to not take this job just because your banging him, and me! I'm going to that meeting today and I'm telling him I'm taking it whether you like it or not!" He pushed off the counter and made a step to leave the kitchen. I reached out fast and grabbed his arm. He started to fight me…he pushed on my chest hard and made me step back, but I held onto him tight. "Let me go prick!" I spun him to face me and walked him backwards towards his small kitchen table. I shoved him against it, making him sit on the edge. He shoved me again, but wasn't as strong as he usually is.

"I'm sorry…I was just shocked to hear it." He shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest, pouting like a toddler. "Do you want me to leave him?" He looked up me, mouth partially open and I shrugged. "Just tell me what you want. I'll do it."

"I want to have a real relationship with you. I want to go on real dates with you, and I want to spend more than a few minutes out in public with you, without you being paranoid your boyfriend is going to catch us. Can you make that happen? Without breaking his heart?"

"Why do you care about whether or not his heart is broken?" He laughed pulling himself completely on the table. He folded his hands in his lap and stared at me. "You know…most guys who are with a man having an affair, don't care about the other guy. You don't even know him."

"James you love him…right?" I nodded and swallowed hard. "Do you love me?" I nodded again, this time quicker. "Then prove it to both of us. I'm not going to lie here…I want to be with you, and I want you all to myself. I am selfish and I want you and only you. So…make a choice. And I really want you to pick me. And when you do pick me, I want you to break it to Kendall easy. And gently. Don't just leave him high and dry. Explain to him how we met and what has been happening for the past year."

"It's not that simple Loges." He frowned and wrapped both his legs behind me, pulling me closer to him. "Logan…I can't tell him about the first day we met. I can't tell him I saved your life, and fell hard for you. I can never tell him every time I went to work, I went to see you beforehand or after. I can't tell him every single time I told him a lie, I didn't feel all that bad." I paused and set my hands on his thighs. "I'm not that brave of a guy. Because no matter how easy I try to break it to him, it will still destroy him, and I don't know if I can live with that." He sighed out, and looked down at my hands on his thighs. "I wish this was easier. And I wish I could have both of you at the same time without anyone getting hurt, but I can't and…and I don't know what to do for the time being. So…I'm just…I'm just trying my hardest to make this work and I really need your support."

"You have it…I'm just tired of living a lie. And it's going to be worse when I start working on his bakery."

"You're the one who said yes." He glared at me, giving me a dirty look but I smirked and shrugged. "He's pretty easy to work with. It will be smooth sailing trust me." He only batted his eyelashes at me as he wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me into him. "I have an hour before I need to go to work. Can we make up?" He gave me a cute half smile before pressing his lips into mine, kissing me softly. As I lifted him off of the table and he unbuttoned my work shirt, I knew outside apartment 14D, a few blocks down the road, curled up in a king size bed alone, happy in love with me, was a man who trusted me. He believed me when I told him I was going to work. He believed it every single time. And I don't see myself stopping the lies anytime soon.

What he doesn't know, won't hurt him.

Howdy guys!

I'm back! And stronger than ever! I finished A New Beginning…and then had an idea hit me hard in the face. Two people reviewed asking for two separate stories. I mashed them together, so thanks for the idea! Also…I know you're probably thinking…great she has another story started. She's not going to finish the other stories…but not true! I'm going to start on the next chapter for Soul mate, right after I upload this so look out for it!

Let me know what you think of this story! Be honest!