Hello my lovelies and welcome to my newest story, Just a Little Taste. And yes, you read that right. This is a Twilight fanfic. Now, I don't know if I've ever mentioned this prior but, uh, I am not the biggest fan of Twilight. I mean, I like it but the franchise isn't really my 'bread and butter' because of one character: Bella.
I literally can't stand her. BUT, I was challenged by a friend. She is obsessed with the franchise and, after hearing that I'm a writer, demanded that I write a story about it. Especially considering she knew I had a hard time turning down a challenge by my friends. SO, here I am. And there were 3 rules I had to follow for this, her orders.
-I couldn't kill off Bella.
-I couldn't get her hurt for no good reason.
-Finally... I couldn't bash her just for the sake of bashing.
I know, right? She knows me so well! However, there is one thing that she forgot to specify. A... loophole of such. And that is... she said nothing about having the main character hate her! SO, considering I'm going from the main character's perspective, any bashing that comes to Bella is all from the character and not necessarily me.
Sigh
How I love a good little twist.
ANYWAY, enough of that. Let's get onto the boring/important bits before we get to the story, yeah?
This chapter is unbeta-d.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Literally nothing but my own creations.
WARNINGS: It's me... expect something. Severity ranges but... language is almost always a definite.
Info:
-Pinterest: WhovianRandom14
-YouTube: Dragon Heart
P.S. Please check out my Pinterest. I put all of the outfits, characters, and all that other stuff on there so that I won't have to go too far into descriptions. Got me? Sweeettttt.
She is played by Kaya Scodelario.
Schedule: Something every Sunday. Not necessarily this fic.
Edit: To those who follow me and give a shit, sorry for breaking schedule. Had to handle a lot of shit and have to switch the schedule around a bit. BUT, things should be easier to manage from here on.
|-/
"I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own
I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listened as the crowd would sing
Now the old king is dead long live the king
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand
I hear Jerusalem bells a-ringing
Roman cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
Once you'd gone there was never
Never an honest word
And that was when I ruled the world."
-Viva la Vida by Coldplay
|-/
Jacqueline Swan had given plenty of thought to how she'd die.
Unlike most, she's not afraid of death. She couldn't be afraid, really. When you've done all the things she's done... at a certain point you either did three things.
One. Stop. You couldn't handle the pressure and ran home to your mamma, promising to be a good child and never do drugs or drink ever again.
Two. Freeze. You also couldn't hand the pressure. However, instead of running away and turning over a new leaf... you stay with it. You don't want to. But, you do. Whether it be addiction keeping you chained OR you fucked with the wrong person and couldn't get out. You're fucked, regardless.
Three. Live. You don't run and you don't stay out of some obligation. No. Instead? Instead, you stay because you want to. There's no addiction leaving you scratching at your skin or swearing up and down to a tired cop that you would never touch anything like it ever again. No... you stick around because you like it. It's the freedom. To be free.
And it sounds pretty nice, doesn't it? To be free of all your problems... even if it's for a little while? To be able to just let yourself forget? To let yourself get lost in this unbelievable feeling of being... on a cliff.
Yeah... on a cliff. That's how Jacqueline would best describe it. Being on a cliff.
Standing there... you feel the wind catch on your clothes, caress your skin, blow through your hair... you feel everything. And it's fucking amazing. But, there's also this feeling of being so... cold. And feeling like you can't breathe, even. Like, at any moment you could just fall and feel everything all at once before you felt nothing.
The feeling of being on the edge of death... almost able to embrace it... only to be able to climb down from the cliff, knowing you could return whenever you wished.
Because to be in the third category... to live and truly be alive... you can't fear death. You have to almost want it. Yet, have just enough strength inside you to constantly pull away and be able to bring yourself down... no matter how much it hurts.
So, yes. Of course Jacqueline has imagined how she would die.
She'd always imagined she would die on a rooftop. She would've spent all day writing letters and leaving cryptic messages on all her social media. (She'd always had the flair for dramatics.) She'd then move to the rooftop of her apartment complex (She never liked houses very much. Felt so... void and empty.), leaving rose petals. She would then make sure to bring up music and alcohol and drugs. A lot of drugs and alcohol. She would then spend the rest of the night partying. She'd drink, smoke, snort, and pretty much every other thing you can think of. She might even invite a hot boy and girl over and have some good sex. A threesome to end the night. (Before she'd kick them out... she never said she was that nice.)
Then, as she lay there in post-orgasmic bliss, she'd shoot up one last time. And then... she'd die.
She was thinking at 25.
She wanted to die young and full of life. After so many years of teasing death and having a few scares... she'd finally meet death and she would give a curtsy before leaving this realm.
That's how she imagined it would happen. No 'dying in the arms of the one I loved' or 'dying for the one I loved'. No, none of that. She wanted her death to be on her own terms and by her own doing. To have her own blood on her hands.
A fitting end, she liked to think.
To die happy and satisfied with yourself... seemed like a good way to go.
|-/
Jacqueline has her head tilted back with her arms spread out, presenting herself to the sun. A still-burning cigarette hung limply from her lips, bright eyes hidden behind a pair of shades. She had a small, natural smile that made her entire face lighten.
Silence all the laughter,
Everyone has gone.
Leave me here,
Let life roll along.
Shut out the light,
I don't wish you to see.
This empty existence,
Now enrapturing me.
Close all the doors,
Let no one in.
The person you knew,
Is no longer me.
Lock all the windows,
Make this my cell.
The dark is my prison,
This is my hell.
Block out those sounds,
Let life roll along.
I can still hear the music,
But it's not my song.
Jacqueline Swan felt peace.
It felt like... a funeral, almost. A goodbye to the place she'd spent so many years of her life. It was almost tragic, even. But, at the same time, she felt like it was her time to move on. To see and experience a new place. Sure, she'd visited before but this felt... different. Almost more permanent.
Her next big adven-
"Have a good-!"
Thump.
"-life."
Jacqueline's face twitched slightly before she released a sigh, arms falling to her sides. Removing her cigarette, she allowed the smoke to billow from her mouth as she reluctantly turned on her heel.
Her younger sister, although she'd yell about how they were only 4 minutes apart, was dusting herself off. She had a somewhat sheepish expression on her face. An expression Jacqueline was very used to seeing.
Her left hand twitched but she showed no outward reaction, smile remaining fixated. She only raised her left hand to bring her cigarette to her lips, to distract herself. But, all she did was allow her thoughts on her... lovely sister to surface.
Isabella Swan. Bella.
Now, you'd think that Jacqueline would like her sister. They both enjoy literature and have an appreciation for silence and time spent alone. However, the problem?
Those are the only things they have in common.
Sure, they look similar and all but that's pretty much a given. Literally everything else about them was different. She's not over exaggerating.
Bella is insecure. Jacqueline is proud of herself. Bella is a romantic. Jacqueline is not. Bella is book-smart. Jacqueline isn't. Bella is shy. Jacqueline is outgoing. Bella hides her body. Jacqueline flaunts it. Bella is horrible with people. Jacqueline is a very charming person. Bella is a klutz. Jacqueline took ballet and gymnastics, try again. Bella is a horrible liar. Jacqueline has been lying since she could talk. Bella is naive and believes in true love. Jacqueline is anything but naive and hates the feel of love.
Do you really want her to go on?
To summarize, they're exact opposites of each other in pretty much every way. And to the bastard who said that opposite attract? They should keep their knowledge to science because that is a complete lie.
The two girls can barely stay in the same room together alone for more than 5 minutes before they're disagreeing about something. It's been that way since they were kids and it would most likely remain that way.
Jacqueline didn't really mind. As soon as she graduated highschool, she planned on moving to LA with a couple of her friends. Maybe they'd start that band they'd always been talking about. She didn't know. All she knew was that she wanted to get away as soon as she got the chance.
Jacqueline was brought from her thoughts by the sight of Renee leaving the house to talk to the two girls. Jacqueline had always had a pretty decent relationship with her mom. Sure, she wasn't as close to her as Bella was however they did have their moments together and Jacqueline respected her. She was closer to her father Charlie, interestingly enough.
Yeah, she couldn't explain it either. Guess she'd always been a daddy's girl, eh?
The childish woman walked right up to the pair, thrusting her phone at the girls. Bella must've wandered over while Jacqueline was lost in thought as she was the one who accepted it. Jacqueline took another drag before glancing over at the phone in vague curiosity.
"It won't work again, babies."
"You put it on hold." Jacqueline said lightly, her voice naturally a bit light and airy as if she was always not paying attention, lost in her thoughts.
"I did?"
Oh, Renee. How did you ever manage to survive without us?
"Look. You also called Mexico."
Jacqueline found herself momentarily taken back. Did Bella make a joke? Is this real life? Her lips momentarily quirked up at her thoughts, taking another drag as the other two women laughed together.
However, the smoke billowing from her lips grabbed Renee's attention. The mother eyed the cigarette in her mouth and sunglasses shielding her eyes with a raised eyebrow.
"You know how I feel about you smoking, young lady."
Jacqueline paused to inhale once more before she tilted her head forward to reveal her eyes. The crystal blue orbs narrowed minutely at the older woman before her lips tugged up into a lazy grin.
"Pot calling the kettle black?"
The two women stared at each other, Bella shifting uncomfortably beside them. Then, Renee gave a near identical grin back to her.
"That's my girl."
The mother and daughter gave small laughs, smiling at each other. That was their goodbye.
"I'll figure it out. You both gotta be able to reach me and Phil on the road-" She paused, a big grin appearing. "I love saying that. On the road."
"Very romantic."
"Fulfilling, huh?"
The two girls traded irritated looks, having always disliked speaking at the same time. Even if it wasn't the same thing, it annoyed them both in a way they couldn't exactly explain.
The stare-off was interrupted by Phil wandering outside with the girl's bags in hand.
Jacqueline couldn't help but shoot the man a smile and nod. Even though Jacqueline felt that Charlie was her dad, through and through... she did have an appreciation for Phil. He made Renee happy and he'd be able to keep her safe. She couldn't help but respect that.
"If you call crappy motels, backwater towns, and ballpark hot dogs romantic and fulfilling." Phil scoffed as he approached, taking the time to place his hat on Renee's head and tug her into a kiss.
Jacqueline couldn't help the smile that formed as she brought her cigarette to her lips once more.
"I call it an adventure."
Phil glanced over at her, a large grin appearing on his face. He may have never said it verbally but he clearly favored Jacqueline. 'Birds of a feather', he'd once said.
"You may have a point there." He admitted, motioning with his head towards the car in silent question. Jacqueline nodded, approaching Phil's side as they walked together to the old station wagon.
"You'll look after Renee, right?" Jacqueline asked softly from her place against the car, eyes following a bird as it flew to a tree.
Phil glanced over at her, pausing with one final suitcase in hand.
"You know I will. Always.
Jacqueline nodded with a pleased expression, smoke escaping her parted lips. It was silent between the two for a few moments.
"I'll miss you, ya know." Phil started, Jacqueline's eyes sliding over to him from their place on an approaching Bella and Renee. "You're a good kid."
Jacqueline's lips upturned slightly into a smirk. "No, I'm not."
A similar smirk appeared on Phil's face with a light chuckle. "No... you aren't."
The two laughed together for a few moments before meeting together in a hug. "I'll miss you, big guy. Take care of my mom, okay?" She felt Phil nod against her head.
"I promise."
The pair pulled apart when Bella wandered over with a conflicted expression on her face. If this was another universe, Jacqueline might've felt concern and would've asked her about what's on her mind. But, as that isn't the case...
Jacqueline lightly tapped her cigarette against the car, ash falling off. She then moved over to her mother, inherently switching places with Bella.
Renee smiled as she approached, opening her arms for a hug.
Jacqueline grinned, barely hesitating to accept it.
"Look after your sister, will you?" Renee asked softly, brushing her fingers through Jacqueline's hair. The young girl tensed, eyes snapping open as she stared at the house behind her. She bit her tongue and could taste metal in her mouth.
"Mhmm."
"Promise me, Jacqueline."
The taste of metal turned to ash.
Despite everything about Jacqueline coming across as uncaring and even mental... if there was one thing Jacqueline always held close to her heart... it was her honor.
She'd sworn to herself to never break a promise. Anything else was free game. She would lie, cheat, and steal... pretty much whatever she wanted. She was a strong believer in living like every day was your last. Of course, with self preservation in mind because... well... she was reckless... not a martyr.
But, she did want just one thing that she could fall back on always. One good thing about her that would always be that... a good thing.
And usually it was...
… Except for moments like these when her honor gets her into these kind of situations.
Pulling away from her mother whilst maintaining a mask of apathy, she gave a somewhat empty smile.
"I promise."
The next few minutes were a blur of movement. There was maybe a group hug at some point. But, Jacqueline's mind was already gone, her thoughts drifting towards her real father. Charlie. She just wanted to see him... to see how he was doing and make his life hopefully a little better.
He always seemed just... so genuinely happy to see them both. She found herself idly wondering if he found himself a girl. He deserved it.
"Jacqueline?"
Said girl moved her glazed eyes to her sister who stared back at her with a sort of hollowness.
"Didn't you have a cigarette?" Her words seemed almost accusing at the last word and Jacqueline could nearly taste the judgment radiating off of her. It was thick on her tongue and sour in taste.
But, she did raise a point.
Blue eyes scanning outside, they stopped when they saw something. Squinting, Jacqueline was just able to make out the form of her nearly gone cigarette in the desert.
Oh, right... the bombshell Renee chose to drop on me now. Speaking of which...
Jacqueline glanced to her right at her twin who had already put in her earbuds and was staring out the window moodily.
I have to look after Bella. Translation? Keep her alive. Easy enough.
She then immediately thought to her sister tripping and falling flat on her face. She found herself imagining her sister falling again on the slippery sidewalks of Forks. Down she goes and then...
Crack!
Head meets a rock and goodbye Bella.
Jacqueline's left eye twitched a little behind her shades, an inaudible sigh escaping her.
Okay... this might be harder than I originally anticipated.
Tasting ash on her tongue, Jacqueline turned her gaze to the window as the station wagon began to drive away. Her eyes flickered to Phil and Renee before moving over to the house that was quickly disappearing. She felt an odd feeling in her chest that she couldn't quite place.
Your eyes are hollow,
Your heart is shallow,
And your word mean nothing to me.
A lifetime of lies,
All the schemes you devise,
Will eventually lead to your demise.
Hell is waiting for you.
|-/
There we go! The first chapter to the story. I am so curious as to what you think. If you're interested in seeing more then let me know. I left it almost open-ended, I feel. But, that's the feel I want to give this story. There will be quite a few times in a chapter where Jacqueline will get lost in her thoughts and she'll give these very interesting and detailed monologues about life or about herself.
And she is also obsessed with poetry so that'll be a big part of this and, uh... I hope you like it! Regardless, I did what I promised I would do so I'm not bound anymore. But, I actually had a lot of fun writing this so... if you'd be interested in me continuing this... I wouldn't mind!~
Anyway, have a good day/afternoon/night and all that!~