I will finish this series if it kills me.
Disclaimer: As a poor university student, I own absolutely nothing.
Easter Rebirth
Among the sounds of chirping birds and swaying branches, the fast-paced beat of sneakers against pavement could be heard along Madara Drive. The two teenaged boys causing the latter sound were engaged in a rather one-sided conversation as the blond heaved out an invitation to his raven-haired friend between huffs and pants. They slowed down and then stopped to catch their breath at the gates of a grey-bricked mansion
"So just let me know, 'kay?" said the blond, one Naruto Uzumaki: son of the deceased President of Fire Country and first lady, former delinquent and overall knuckleheaded freshman. "I gotta go now: I promised Konohamaru-chan I'd paint some eggs with him. See ya!" Naruto called, his grin somewhat subdued. He waved goodbye to his friend and took a swig out of his water bottle before jogging off.
The friend, one Sasuke Uchiha: son of the late head of the police force, former unfeeling asshole and recovering emotional asshole frowned deeply in thought. He used the towel around his neck to wipe away the sweat clinging to his worried brow. Entering his house, he took a detour into the kitchen to snag a cold Gatorade from the fridge before collapsing on the couch in his living room. The leather of the couch clung uncomfortably to his sweaty skin, but the relief of being off his feet prevailed. He let his eyes flutter shut as he gulped greedily from the energy drink.
Basketball practice was exhausting. In the few weeks that Sasuke had been acting paranoid and, quite frankly, a little crazy, he had slacked off considerably in the sport and working his way back to being on top of his game was tiring. It still irked him that Naruto had somehow managed to surpass him, but he was willing to work to earn his spot back as the MVP. He was willing to work until he deserved it again.
In fact he was willing to work until he deserved everything in his life. For the past few weeks he had been throwing himself into basketball, school work (seeing as his grades had managed to slip) and even his friendships – Naruto still looked surprised when Sasuke would actually agree to hang out with him and Kakashi seemed to be waiting for the other shoe to drop whenever Sasuke would answer when called upon in class rather than give some sarcastic remark.
It was honestly taking every bit of patience and all the energy Sasuke had to maintain this new attitude towards life and by the time he got home he was ready to drop. Fortunately, this was a much appreciated side effect of his Plan To Be A Good Person as he was usually much too tired to think. Thinking too much had proven to be his downfall and Sasuke had no desire to get trapped inside his own mind again. However, what Naruto had just said to him on their usual Saturday morning jog kept rattling around in his head, refusing to be dismissed.
'Should I go? Would it be strange? Would it be detrimental to the Plan To Be A Good Person? More importantly, how would she feel? Maybe I should call up Ita-'
A shrill ringing cut through Sasuke's thoughts as sharp as a razor blade and he eyed the phone in its place across the room, wondering if it was worth the effort of getting up. Sighing heavily, he lifted himself up and sluggishly made his way to the phone, managing to pick it up right before the final ring.
Glancing at the caller ID, he fell back onto the couch before answering the call with a weary, "What's up, aniki?"
"Oh nothing, my big brother senses were simply, as they say, tingling," came the monotone reply.
Sasuke sat up a little in surprise, "Really?"
"Yes," a pause, and then, "Also, I'm expecting some very important mail from the President. I'm not certain if Tsunade-sama will be sending it to our home address or to my apartment, but if you come across it, please keep it safe until I return during summer break."
Sasuke lay back down. "Mail from the President? Are you ever going to tell me what exactly it is you do outside of getting your third University degree?"
"In any case, your previous response tells me that you require some 'brotherly advice' that I am more than happy to provide, otouto." Sasuke rolled his eyes, having anticipated Itachi completely ignoring his question.
"Well," he began hesitantly, "Narutard invited me to go to Easter Mass tomorrow…"
"I would normally object to you calling your best friend – and really the only person willing to put up with your foolishness – by such a name, but since he has inexplicably decided that inviting his atheist friend to go to church with him is an appropriate thing to do, perhaps there is some truth to it. Was the next person on his guest list your Jewish, pink-haired friend?"
Sasuke scoffed, "Naruto always invites me to go with him on his religious outings; he can't stand being alone for more than five seconds. I think he stopped asking Sakura after the third time she decked him."
In the past Sasuke had always turned down these invitations, but lately he'd accepted a few, not because he was having some kind of 'religious awakening', but only because he knew Naruto appreciated the company. It was a bit bizarre to spend one afternoon in a Mosque and then another in a Buddhist Monastery, but Naruto had seemed overjoyed by the entire experience, so Sasuke thought it might be worth repeating…maybe.
Most people seemed surprised by Naruto's religious devotion and found it a bit odd. In fact, there had been a few that had been offended by him practicing multiple religions, which Sasuke didn't get. Then again, Sasuke didn't really get religion in general. Believing in some higher being that had any kind of influence over him was not something Sasuke could do. He liked to see himself in the front seat, the master of his own life, even if it meant taking responsibility for his wrongdoings, something he was doing a lot of currently.
No, Sasuke didn't get religion, but he did get Naruto, and believing in goodness and some greater entity that ensured people were set on the right paths was definitely a Naruto kind of thing. Sasuke couldn't really believe in something like that considering what had happened to his parents, but then hadn't the same thing happened to Naruto's parents?
'I guess it comes down to faith. Naruto's got a ton, more than enough to put a little in a God or two. Me on the other hand…'
Sasuke didn't have a whole lot of faith and what little he had was put into living, breathing people that had proven themselves right before his very eyes to be deserving of his trust. Sasuke's faith was hard to gain and easier to lose.
It wasn't very surprising that, at the moment, he didn't have any faith in himself.
Which was why he was turning to Itachi for advice.
He sighed into the phone, "Anyway, it isn't really about him inviting me to church. It's about why he invited me." He took a deep breath. "H-Hinata," he stumbled over the name, fighting not to gasp at the fresh burst of pain it caused, "She's going to be there. Singing a solo in the choir."
"I see," Itachi said, voice taking on a serious tone, "And did she ask for your presence at this performance?"
"Well, no, but she didn't ask for anyone to come; that's just how she is. Apparently Neji invited the group. Of course he purposely excluded me," he said, the last sentence coming out almost-bitter. He wasn't able to truly feel any anger about it. Neji was trying to protect Hinata as usual, Sasuke knew, and he didn't blame the older Hyuuga.
The next question Itachi asked was simple, but answering it was not. "Do you want to go?"
"Yes!" Sasuke blurted out. Eyes wide, Sasuke was startled by his own audacity. It seemed the question wasn't so hard to answer after all.
As he let this thought sink in Sasuke could hear a hushed conversation taking place on his brother's end of the connection.
"What is it Kisame?...Pein called a meeting so suddenly? …He thinks that manis back?"
"Hello? Aniki? What's going on?"
"Hold on a second. Sorry otouto, it seems that something has come up. I suppose the best advice I can give you in such short notice is to think about your motive. Why do you want to go? Please consider this seriously and try not to do anything too foolish. Goodbye."
"Bye," Sasuke muttered distractedly, already pondering over his brother's words even before he ended the call.
'Why do I want to go?'
It would be a lie to say that he didn't want to get back together with Hinata. He dreamed of it. Every morning he awoke confused, only for the reality of their break up to hit anew because in his dreams they were still together and happy.
'Could it be that the reason I want to go see her sing is to win brownie points? To work my way back into her heart? After all, from the very beginning, since our first real encounter at the Halloween dance, I'd been aiming for a relationship. It's arguable that every kind word and thoughtful gesture was said and done for the purpose of getting her to be my girlfriend. It's entirely possible that, even now, somewhere inside me there's an ulterior motive.'
The more he thought about it, the worse Sasuke felt. At the time he hadn't really considered it, but could he have been manipulating Hinata the entire time for his own gain?
He let out a deep growl of frustration.
"NO! I want to go because I want to support Hinata. Because I understand that having a solo performance means a lot to her, since she always believed her shyness would hold her back from getting one. Because I care about her and want to be there for her, cheering her on. I wouldn't turn her accomplishment to my advantage. I wouldn't make it about me or about us. I wouldn't do that to her…would I?
Hopping up, Sasuke shucked off his shirt angrily and then continued to undress as he made his way up to his room from the living room, scrunching up his sweaty workout clothes into a tight ball. He was thinking too much again, twisting everything in his head until even he couldn't understand his own motivation. Once in his room, he tossed the ball of his discarded clothes across the room into his laundry basket with practiced ease before entering the adjoining bathroom and climbing into the shower.
Turning the tap roughly, Sasuke stifled a gasp at the blast of icy water that burst out of the shower head. Body completely occupied with not shutting down from the shock of coldness, he was finally allowed a reprieve from his poisonous thoughts.
Staring at the cheerful, yellow-painted sign that named the store as 'Yamanaka Florists', Sasuke resisted the urge to turn right back around and go home. Instead he focussed on the reason he was there, finding strength in it.
He took a deep breath and entered the store, twitching slightly at the bright chime that sounded as the door was pulled open.
"Welcome to Yamanaka Florists!" trilled a chipper voice, "How can I – Sasuke-kun!" Ino Yamanaka grinned at him from behind the counter, fingers toying with a page of a glossy magazine that she had obviously been reading. "What a surprise! Could it be that you've finally come to your senses and decided to ask me out?" she said with a seductive wink.
Sasuke immediately scowled. Once again he focussed on the reason he was at the flower shop and managed to resist spitting pure venom at Ino's shameless suggestion. "No. I want to buy a bouquet of sunflowers," he said, schooling his features back into a neutral expression. "With purple wrapping. Please."
In all the years that she had chased after him and he had cruelly rejected her, Ino had never looked quite as shocked or upset as she did now. She stood, mouth agape, looking as if she had just been slapped.
"U-Um, right! One second please!" she exclaimed, taken aback. It was clear that she had been expecting a different reaction, though what kind specifically, Sasuke wasn't sure. Perhaps an angry rant chock full of insults? Or simply his usual cold shoulder? He'd never been shy of showing his disdain for his fangirls, so his casual attitude now must have been surprising to her.
Some things were more important than egos and misplaced pride, though. He was glad to see that Ino was working quickly, carefully snipping the ends of large, beautifully bloomed sunflowers before placing them on a sheet of shiny, violet wrapping paper.
"Admiration and gratitude," she announced apropos of nothing once she was no longer flustered, her tone too casual in a way that made Sasuke's eyes narrow. "That's what these sunflowers mean," she explained. Ino deftly folded the wrapping paper around his bouquet, carefully smoothing out a crease before pausing to shoot him a smile so sweet he knew it couldn't be trusted.
"It's a sweet message. I wonder who it's for…?" she said, raising her brows expectantly at him.
Sasuke's lips thinned. He should have expected this. Ino was nosy and shameless, a combination that made her Konoha's most notorious gossip.
When he didn't answer, Ino huffed out a breath that caused her long bangs to fly up, the movement drawing his attention to her eyes quick enough to see her roll them upward in exasperation. "Well as sweet as it is, this arrangement is kinda blah. You should add a little somethin' to spice it up a bit."
"There are people in this world that appreciate simplicity," he said, matter-of-factly. He hadn't meant anything in particular by the statement – he had just been thinking of the person the flowers were meant for – but for some reason his words made Ino's face fall. Her usual air of confidence faltered and her cornflower blue eyes looked lost, for a moment. Quickly, she regained herself, eyes shuttering closed before snapping open with a wicked gleam.
"Maybe," she hummed mockingly, "But the language of flowers is pretty powerful, especially to someone who appreciates gardening, so maybe whatever message you're trying to send could be… expanded?" Ino caressed the pink petal of a flower in a nearby vase. "You could add some Peruvian Lilies: for devotion?" She laughed coldly, "Oh, no. That wouldn't work at all, would it?"
Sasuke's breath hitched at the subtle accusation, pain and guilt sparking within him. He couldn't think of anything to say, not that it mattered since Ino was already speaking again anyway.
"What about Dahlias? For instability?" she asked, gliding over to pick up a bicoloured flower with its petals splayed open elaborately. She held it out to him as if it were a genuine offer before pulling back. "No, no, I've got something better!" she exclaimed, tucking the Dahlia back into its vase before skipping over to hold up a pot full of four-petaled red flowers. "Geraniums. Scarlett. For stupidity." She hissed out the last word, promptly dropping the pot back onto its counter.
Clenching his fists, Sasuke could feel anger start to simmer in his veins. The pain and guilt he was already feeling only helped to turn the anger into a steady burn that was slowly filling him.
Ino wasn't done, however.
She began to advance on him, tapping a thin finger against her chin faux-thoughtfully, "Those are all good ideas, but not quite perfect. I just know there's a flower for your situation, but what could it be?" Suddenly, she stopped just a few inches in front of him and snapped her fingers. "I've got it!" Leaning right into his personal space, she tugged a flower out of a vase just to his right. The flower was caught between lavender and white, hauntingly familiar, with soft petals that feathered out of it like the ruffles of a dress. Ino pried open his clenched fist with sharp nails and forced the flower from her own hand into his. Tightening her grip so that her nails pierced a little further into his skin, Ino's eyes darted up to meet Sasuke's. Rather than match the cruel smile that played across her lips, he was shocked to find they were bitterly sad.
"It's called a Mourning Bride," she whispered to him and Sasuke could feel the fiery rage within him turn to ice.
"What does it mean?"
Her smile dropped and her eyes fell shut. She backed away from him, retreating behind the counter once more. He followed.
She unravelled a long strand of white ribbon from box of the stuff, using a pair of scissors that were lying haphazardly on the countertop to cut it to size. As she tied a tidy bow around his bouquet of sunflowers, she said in a quiet, sad voice, "It means 'I have lost all'."
The flower fell to the floor, no less beautiful for its slightly crushed stem and rumpled petals.
It was silent for a while, the both of them lost in their own thoughts. Then Ino sighed softly.
"You know, I was never in love with you. Not like Sakura," she said almost conversationally. "I never knew you well enough for that. Still don't. But you were cute and popular and I wanted to go out with you just for that. It's kinda sad, right?" She choked out a laugh. "The truth is: there's someone else that I like. Like really like, you know? Not for looks or reputation or anything like that. And I know it's not my place, but I still feel let down. I was really rooting for you and Hinata-chan. Your complete disregard for the rules of high school and its cliques was kinda inspiring. It's selfish of me, probably, but I was hoping that if you two could do it, then…" She laughed again, a joyless laugh, and shook her head. "I'm not making much sense, am I? Never mind."
Sasuke watched blankly as she straightened up and moved across the shop to pluck out a few flowers. His mind was reeling with the news that he had, apparently, been some kind of role model. Somehow, though he didn't even like Ino all that much, or at all, he felt a little bad for disappointing her. Logically he knew it was hardly fair of her to use his relationship as a stepping stone for her own, but he couldn't really pass judgement. After all, hadn't he crumbled under the pressure of keeping a high school reputation? And if Sasuke himself, who had always acted as if he couldn't care less about what anyone else thought, could succumb to such a thing, how could he expect popularity-obsessed Ino to even imagine disturbing the status quo?
In that moment, Sasuke felt something he never thought possible. He felt like he could relate to Ino Yamanaka, Konoha's own ditzy blonde, head cheerleader stereotype who had for years captained the fangirls that had been, and still were, the bane of his existence.
'Now isn't that a scary thought' he thought wryly.
He was startled into reality when something was shoved into his face. Hand automatically closing around the parcel, Sasuke realized it was his bouquet of sunflowers, with something extra. A few five-petaled purple flowers were artfully arranged to complement the yellow of the bigger sunflowers. He raised a questioning brow at Ino who shrugged.
"They're a bit rare around here, but I think those Volkamenias are just what you need. 'May you be happy' is what they mean," she said.
Sasuke stared at her in surprise, wondering how she had managed to figure out just what he wanted to say. She winked at him again, this time less seductive and more mischievous.
Quickly paying for his purchase, Sasuke nodded his thanks and started to leave, only to be pulled back by a hand on his shoulder. He reflexively ducked out of the touch, but turned around nonetheless to find Ino offering him a single white flower, its three petals drooping a little pathetically. He shot her an unimpressed look, but she continued to hold it out to him.
"It's called a Snowdrop. I know it's pretty plain and small, but I think you could use it. Consider it a gift, from me to you."
Sasuke eyed it suspiciously, still making no move to accept it. A few moments passed and then, annoyed, he gave in and asked, "And what does this one mean?"
Ino grinned cheerfully, no sign of the previous sadness she had shown. "Hope."
Sasuke's heart thudded loudly, eyes dipping shut only to be met with images of long indigo hair and strawberry blushes.
He took the flower.
Stepping out of the flower shop and into the sunlight, Sasuke checked his watch.
'I still have a lot of time left…'
He tucked the flowers safely under his arm and turned to head home, only to come face to face with Sakura of all people.
'Well shit.'
They stared at each other awkwardly, neither sure of what to do.
It was such a strange sensation, feeling uncomfortable around Sakura, not knowing how to react to her. He'd never really cared before to act a certain way around her, but now, for the first time since he'd known her, he didn't know where he stood with her. For as long as Sasuke could remember Sakura had always been in love with him and he had always ignored both it and her to the best of his abilities.
But last month she had slapped him.
It had been shocking. Not because he hadn't deserved it – he had – but because she had never been violent towards him no matter how terrible he'd been to her. And he had been terrible to her. He had always been hurtful and dismissive and he'd never felt bad about it for a minute. But Sakura had always taken it in stride, choosing, instead, to take her anger out on Naruto. She had continued to call him her friend, one of her best friends, but he had never returned the favour. Even when he would grudgingly admit that Naruto wasn't just his rival, but also his friend, he had never extended the same courtesy toward Sakura. Despite the fact that when it came down to it Sakura had always been in his corner and tried as hard as Naruto to be there for him, he'd always rebuffed her.
Because to him, she was just another fangirl.
Never mind that he had defended her against Sound's basketball team; he would have done it for any girl – he was raised that way. Never mind that she had seen him at his worst, dislocating a kid's arms, and she'd been there when he'd gone up against Gaara and she had still stayed by his side. Never mind that when he had transferred to Sound to train under Coach Orochimaru she had never given up on him and had helped to bring him back home with Naruto. Never mind that she had learned about the steroids and other drugs Orochimaru had had him on and had fought with him and against him until he got clean.
The knowledge of her obsession with him – something that had started, as far as he knew, from the tender age of five – tainted her every action. It cheapened her so-called support and friendship because who's to say that she wasn't simply doing these things in the selfish hopes of making him fall in love with her?
'And who's to say that I'm not doing the same thing to Hinata?'
Luckily Sakura chose that moment to speak up, preventing Sasuke from following that train of thought.
"Hi, Sasuke-kun!" she said, her cheerful smile clearly strained, "It's surprising to see you here."
The familiarity of Sakura attempting to start a conversation with a silent Sasuke in a forcefully upbeat tone eased some of the discomfort Sasuke was feeling.
"The same could be said for you," he replied. As far as he knew, Sakura and Ino had not been on friendly terms since they had been seven years old: the same age they had been when they'd first met him.
Sakura's strained smile turned into something sadder. "Actually, it couldn't."
And wasn't that surprising? Sasuke searched his mind, trying to remember the last time he had seen the two girls together. It was around the time of the incident with the Sound; Sakura and Ino had actually come to blows. It had been rather anticlimactic – they'd knocked each other out cold – and Sasuke hadn't been particularly impressed.
'But that was at least four years ago. Surely I've seen them interact since then… But I suppose it's not a question of whether I saw it, but rather if I thought it was worth remembering.'
That couldn't be right. The feud between Ino and Sakura was legendary in Konoha. That he could completely overlook a reconciliation between them was…
'Just how long have I been so wrapped up in my own issues that I couldn't notice something so big? When exactly did I become so self-involved, so self-centered?'
"Anyway, I'm just going to keep Ino company for the rest of her shift before we go to Hi-" she paused, lids fluttering wildly in a subtle sign of panic, "-before we go to…"
He interrupted her lie before it was even formed. "You're going to see Hinata perform her solo," he filled in.
Looking briefly taken-aback, Sakura's green eyes surveyed him curiously before landing on the bouquet under his arm. Her eyes lingered for a moment before snapping back to meet his. "And so are you," she deducted, correctly. The smile she gave him then was ambiguous; he couldn't tell if she was upset or pleased by this revelation. If he had to guess, he would say upset. After all, she had not so much as spoken to him since April Fool's day. In fact, she had gone so far as to avoid him at school: switching seats in the classes they shared and eating her lunch elsewhere. It had been stressful on Naruto, Sasuke could tell, being torn between his two best friends; the girl he loved and the guy he considered his brother. It had been darkly amusing watching the blond struggle, stumbling over Sakura's name when he accidently brought her up in conversation. Mostly it had been a little sad.
A girly tune Sasuke recognized from the radio suddenly cut through the silence between them. Sakura pulled her phone out of her purse and grinned as she read the text on it. "That Ino-pig," she said, shaking her head lightly, "always so impatient." She dropped the phone back into her purse without bothering to reply and walked past him. Reaching the Yamanaka store-front, she pulled open the door and paused in the doorway. "See you around, Sasuke-kun," she said over her shoulder. And then the door closed behind her.
Sasuke felt as if she had slapped him all over again.
He didn't realize it until she walked away with only a backward glance, but he had been waiting. He had been waiting for her to come to him, to make the first move, to apologize, to mend their broken threesome. Because that's just what she did. Either Naruto and he would be at each other's throats or one of them would go off – admittedly, more often than not it would be Sasuke – and Sakura would tag along, trying to keep the peace and fix things, though there was always a little bit of favouritism towards Sasuke's side of any situation.
She fixed things because their friendship was something that she clung desperately to. Because she had thrown away one friendship over him and she had to make it worth it. Because it was the only thing tying her to Sasuke and raising her just a level above any other fangirl.
And that's all she was, right? Just another fangirl.
Except that she had mended bridges with Ino. Except that she had cut her hair despite growing it out because she thought it would suit his preferences. Except that she had stopped her cloying flirting and had started acting more natural, more tolerable, around him. Except that she had stopped blindly following him, stopped taking everything he said as truth, stopped excusing his mistakes. Except that she had stopped treating him like some kind of God and had started treating him more like another person – a person that was special to her, but a person nonetheless.
Somewhere along the way, while he hadn't been paying attention, Sakura had stopped letting the word 'fangirl' define her.
But Sasuke never had.
It said a lot about Sakura, that she had matured. That her love for him may actually have grown into something genuine rather than superficial.
And that Sasuke had been blind to these changes…well, what did that say about him?
Standing in front of the floor-length mirror in his bedroom, Sasuke could feel his frustration mounting. His fingers, usually so deft as to make him excel at most everything, were clumsy, fumbling with trying to tie a double Windsor knot.
"Dude, the tie may be over doing it," Naruto called from his position on Sasuke's bed. He was lying flat on the covers, tossing and catching a basketball that was starting to get worrying close to the high ceiling.
"You wear neon orange on a daily basis. Don't talk to me about overdoing it," Sasuke shot back. Nonetheless, he tore the offending piece of fabric from around his neck and threw it to the ground. "And if you crack my ceiling then you're paying for the damage."
"How about I pay for a poster to cover any cracks?" Naruto bargained, cheeky grin in place.
Sasuke rolled his eyes, running a careless hand through his hair before stopping short. "Fuck!" he cursed, tugging his gel-covered hand out of his black locks. He stepped into his bathroom and quickly squeezed fresh gel onto his hands before trying to tame his unruly hair for the second time.
The creaking bed and the bouncing footsteps warned him of Naruto's presence before the blond burst into the bathroom. "Sasukeeee," he whined, "Hurry up, we're gonna be laaaate and then Hina-chan will be saaaad."
Sasuke, who had been leaning in to see himself clearly in the mirror, promptly banged his head into the frame. "FUCK!" He pushed himself away from the mirror, leaving behind two gel-hand sprints as well as a large streak from his hair. Even through his smudged reflection he could see a rapidly developing bruise on the center of his forehead. He turned, intent on crawling into his bed and never coming back out, and found his shoulders firmly grasped by tan hands.
"Okay, Sassy-chan, just let your man Naruto handle this," Naruto said as he ran his fingers through Sasuke's hair, flattening his bangs until they covered his forehead. He then undid the top two buttons of Sasuke's collared shirt before winking. "There, you're totally rockin' the ruffled, sexy look," Naruto declared, cheesily positioning his fingers in the 'V for victory' sign.
Sasuke stared at him blankly. "Sometimes I wonder about your sexuality…" he said. It was hardly a 'thank you', but from Naruto's returning grin, Sasuke could tell that the grateful tone of his voice had relayed the message successfully.
"Don't be hatin' cuz I'm comfortable enough with my masculinity to show off my feminine side," Naruto said, stepping away, "Now can we get this show on the road, or what?"
Sasuke nodded stiffly. "Let's go."
They went out to Sasuke's driveway where Jiraiya, famous erotic-novelist and Naruto's godfather, was waiting for them in his car. It was a little embarrassing still having to catch rides from adults, but both Sasuke and Naruto had only just gotten their licences and their respective guardians refused to buy them cars until they turned seventeen, for Sasuke, or eighteen, for Naruto. They both could have bought cars themselves, having more than enough left to them in their respective deceased parents' wills, but they weren't old enough to access those funds yet, so they'd resigned themselves to a car-less life for now. Normally they would at least get a ride from Sakura, whose parents trusted their daughter enough to pass on a hand-me-down car, but that wasn't an option for obvious reasons.
Sasuke climbed into the back and Naruto took the front seat and then they were off. It didn't take too long to reach the church; both teens were surprised when rather than pulling up to the front Jiraiya parked in the lot, right in front of a monument for the Sage of the Six Paths.
"Tsunade-chan is going to be here supporting one of her favourite students, so I'm sure she'll be happy to have me keep her company," Jiraiya explained as he got out of the car with them. Once they had gotten to the front entrance of the quaint church, Jiraiya paused and said, "Meet me back by the statue when it's done, okay?"
Naruto and Sasuke shrugged and nodded their agreement before splitting off from the adult to enter the building. Following the crowd past the lobby, they entered the main room and quickly spotted familiar faces from school. Hinata's closest friends were sitting at the very front while Sakura, Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji had taken the pew behind them. Sasuke was torn: he would normally prefer to find an isolated spot in the back, but he also wanted to be able to see and hear Hinata clearly. At the same time, he wondered if it would be better not to be too visible in case she didn't want him to be here. Naruto quickly solved Sasuke's dilemma for him by dragging the other to the second pew, sitting beside Chouji and placing Sasuke to his right side. Sasuke nodded along while Naruto greeted everybody and quickly tuned out when his friend struck up a conversation about the pros and cons of different ramen flavours with Chouji. His stomach was starting to churn nervously and excitedly at the thought of seeing Hinata. He'd only caught glimpses of her at school. Barely even that, with the lengths that the overprotective trio – Kiba, Shino and Neji – were going to the form a human blockade between the two of them. It wasn't enough. It was already hard not having her presence around him, but not even being able to see her – see her giggling quietly behind her hand, see her flushing red in embarrassment, see her smiling softly when she managed to grab a seat next to the classroom window – being herself, the wonderful self that Sasuke was so captivated with, was torture.
Suddenly a hush fell upon the room as the minister came to the front podium. The sermon that followed was boring to Sasuke and he didn't even try to pay attention – he was an unapologetic atheist and felt no obligation to pretend otherwise. Instead, he focussed on the choir section that had filled out in the last few minutes. He thought he spied a flash of indigo hair, but it was mostly hidden by taller people seated in front. Almost an hour passed like this, filled with readings of psalms and a chant every now and then, when finally the current reader announced that the choir would be performing three songs.
First there was the predictable 'Amazing Grace' with four vocalists taking solo lines and the rest of the choir filling in the parts between. Then there was a fun group number that Sasuke didn't recognize, but enjoyed well enough. For the third song, Sasuke watched eagerly as a small figure stepped out to the front of the stage, quickly recognizing the soloist as the girl he had come here for.
The piano started up and he could see Hinata sway a little where she stood. As usual, a blush covered the apples of her cheeks, but the rest of her skin was worryingly pale. Because he knew to look for it, he could see her fingers twitching – something he had noticed she did when nervous. Simply taking in all these details made a tight ball of anxiety grow within Sasuke himself, as if he were the one about the perform in front of a room full of people. He folded his hands together tightly, feeling helpless in the face of Hinata's obvious nerves. He longed to soothe her somehow, but he couldn't at the moment. Even if he could have, it wasn't really his place anymore. Still, he tried his best to project thoughts and feelings of confidence and encouragement to Hinata as she stared out at the crowd with wide eyes, though normally such a futile and whimsical course of action would make him scoff. There was a fluid lull in the piano melody and then Hinata opened her mouth. A pure, soprano voice filled the room, falling gently on everyone's ears. Sasuke let out a sigh of relief. He watched with building pride as Hinata's soft voice gained strength while she worked her way into the chorus, still able to be heard clearly above the rest of the choir's backing vocals even without a microphone. Hinata completed the song flawlessly, voice never faltering, and by the end of it her blush had faded and she seemed to glow from happiness and accomplishment.
There was a brief pause after the piano stopped playing and then the entire crowd erupted with applause, especially the section Sasuke was seated in, courtesy of Naruto and Kiba. Hinata beamed, bowing quickly before scurrying away to take her seat with the rest of the choir.
Sasuke's body relaxed completely for the first time all day. He felt Naruto bump his shoulder and turned to share a proud grin with the blond. Settling down in his seat, Sasuke actually managed to listen to the rest of the service.
Sasuke hurried through the church's entrance for the third time that night. He had forgotten the bouquet in the car and had had to hunt Jiraiya down for his keys to retrieve it. The lobby had already emptied out and his stomach dropped at the thought of having missed Hinata. Stepping into the main room once more, he felt a burst of relief when he spotted the girl of the hour, but the feeling was quickly extinguished at the sight before him. Hinata was sitting on the stage, legs hanging off the edge and swinging childishly. Her happy smile and bright eyes that normally sent his heart racing instead made it freeze because they were aimed at somebody else. Gaara Subaku stood in front of her, his chest level with her knees, a rare smile curving his lips. The fingers of Hinata's right hand were tenderly tracing the tattoo that marked Gaara's forehead and her left hand was holding Gaara's right hand carefully. Any other person would have found the scene precious, but for Sasuke, it was like something out of his own personal hell.
He had never experienced pain like this. It felt like he was dying, like his insides were rebelling and threatening to either shrivel up or rip themselves out of his body. Embarrassingly, he felt the back of his eyes sting and he had to shut them tightly to push back the onslaught of tears. He wanted nothing more than to turn around and run back out of the church. He wanted desperately to be anywhere but here, watching the girl that he cared for be with someone else. As he was about to quietly slip out the door, he remembered the bouquet he was holding. He looked at it. The sunflowers that represented how much he admired Hinata's strength in dealing with the bullying from his fans and the gratitude he felt for having known her. The Volkamenias that Ino had included, correctly guessing his wish for Hinata's happiness; to erase the tears he had made her shed on April first. The single Snowdrop in his pocket, standing in for a single hope.
'Hope for what, though? What is it that I want from Hinata? What is it that I want from this girl who I have no right to ask anything of?'
Sasuke realized that this was the moment. That all of the thinking he had been putting off, the decisions that he had refrained from making, they had been leading to the fork in the road that he found himself standing at. He could do several things. He could flee, like the scorned lover he wasn't and the coward he was. Or he could march over there and punch Gaara in the face like an angry child and demand that Hinata take him back like a selfish asshole.
Taking a deep, steadying breath, he started forward. His sudden movement caught the attention of Hinata and Gaara and he frowned when he noticed that though they leaned away from each other and Hinata stopped tracing Gaara's tattoo, they did not release each other's hands. Still, he kept walking until he was in front of them. Giving Gaara a cursory glance, he locked eyes with Hinata's wide violet pair. "Hinata, could I talk to you for a minute?"
She bobbed her head in quick, jerky motions before turning to the red head beside her. "Gaara-kun, w-would you mind giving u-us a moment, please?" she asked softly, unlacing her fingers from his. Gaara's browless forehead creased and he nodded once before leaving, not bothering to look at Sasuke. Sasuke hardly noticed, however, as he was fully concentrated on Hinata.
Left alone with Hinata for the first time since their break up, Sasuke felt at a loss for words. Clearing his throat nervously, he offered the bouquet in his hands. "Here," he said gruffly, "they're for you."
Hinata's pink lips fell into a perfect 'o' of surprise. Instead of accepting the bouquet, she slipped off the stage and onto her feet. Brushing away the silky locks that had fallen over her face in the previous movement, she gave him a small, nervous smile. "T-Thank you," she said in a voice just above a whisper. She took the flowers from him with careful hands, ensuring that they're fingers didn't so much as brush. Sasuke tried his best to ignore the sting he felt at her avoidance.
"You were good today," he said. He wanted to use a better word like 'amazing' or 'flawless' or anything else that would properly convey the depth of his feelings, but he was never very good with words.
Gaze dropping to the floor, there was a loud sounding scrunch of plastic against plastic from Hinata's fingers tightening on the bouquet's wrapping. "T-Thank you," she repeated, not looking up from the floor.
Eyeing her tense fingers on the bouquet, he wanted to wrap his own hands around hers until they relaxed. He curled his hands into fists.
Unsure of what to say next, Sasuke tried to collect his thoughts. Being around Hinata always seemed to tilt him off-kilter.
The silence stretched between them, long and tense.
"I-If th-that's all," Hinata started, head still bowed down. She took a step back as though preparing to leave.
"No!"
Startled by his outburst, Hinata's head swung up, allowing their eyes to meet.
"I mean…I wanted to – I want to – what I wanted to say is…" Sasuke tripped and stumbled over his words. He felt his frustration mount at his inability to express himself.
'Is this how Hinata always feels?'
"I hate this."
Hinata pursed her lips, but otherwise her face remained blank. She was patiently waiting for him to continue and it put him at enough ease to speak.
"I hate this," Sasuke repeated once more , "I hate this distance between us. I hate that I hurt you and that I hurt myself too, by doing that. I hate that it feels so strange for me to congratulate you on achieving one of your important dreams when it should be the most natural thing in the world. I hate that I don't feel close to you anymore. I hate this mess that I created. I just…"
Sasuke felt the water gathering in his eyes and he could see Hinata tearing up as well. Rather than look away to hide his shameful tears, he kept their gazes locked, unwilling to look away from her.
"I hate how it's so easy for me to talk about hate, but when it comes to the opposite, I can't seem to say anything at all," he told her. It felt like a confession and for a moment Sasuke was back on the school rooftop. They had played out such an ideal teen fantasy that day. This, however, felt different. It was a lot uglier and, maybe because of that, more honest.
Hinata reached out to him with her right hand, but then let it swing dully to her side. "I d-don't know wh-what you w-w-want me to s-say," she said, the gathered tears finally spilling out of her lavender eyes.
'I want you to say that you hate it too. I want you to say that you still want to be with me. I want you to say that we should be together again.'
Sasuke took a deep breath and held it in his lungs. Looking into Hinata's teary eyes, he somehow had the visceral knowledge that if he asked her to right now, she would take him back. In this moment, all he had to do was ask and she would be with him again. All he had to do was say –
"I don't know either. But I do know that I want you to be happy and I…" He shook his head ruefully. "I just made you cry. Again."
"I-It's not-"
"It is," he said with a tone of finality in his voice. All he had to do was ask, and she would take him back, but in this moment Sasuke realized that he couldn't ask that of her. The person that he was right now had no business being with Hinata. He didn't deserve her yet. But maybe someday, someday soon, he could become a person that did. He could become a person worthy of all the good things in his life. He could become a person worthy of standing by Hinata's side.
'I'm not someone that can rely on a God or higher being to help me out or lead me to the right path. I need to make it on my own. Becoming a better person isn't something that's going to happen overnight, but I believe that I can achieve it myself. It won't be handed to me, I'll have to reach out and grab it.' Sasuke thought about Itachi, who had already achieved so much at such a young age, who was trusted to do favours for the President. He thought about Naruto who wanted to become President, so he could take care of everyone in the country and who went out of his way to understand every faith, because he refused to ignore anyone. He thought about Sakura who was bettering herself, studying hard for the future and fixing things she had broken in the past. 'It'll probably be difficult, but at least I have people that care about me cheering me on.'
Sasuke ran his left hand through his hair, feeling the gel latch onto the skin of his palm. He kept his left hand there, entangled in his dark hair, and held out his right hand to Hinata. "Hello, my name is Sasuke Uchiha. I am sixteen years old attending Konoha High School. I play basketball and I'm the co-captain of the school team. I'm not a very nice person, but my best friends Naruto Uzumaki and Sakura Haruno somehow put up with me and my older brother Itachi tries his best to keep me in line. Let's be friends."
His eyes were closed as he put on the friendliest smile in his, limited, arsenal, so he couldn't gauge Hinata's reaction at all. A few seconds passed and he started to feel a little ridiculous, with his right hand outstretched, his left in his hair and a stupid smile on his face. He started to withdraw his hand, but stopped when he felt a smaller one take hold of it.
"H-Hello. My n-name is Hinata H-Hyuuga. I am also s-sixteen years old a-attending K-Konoha High School. I'm in the gardening c-club and my ch-church's choir – I j-just sang a s-solo, actually. I'm a bit of a p-pushover, but my best friends K-Kiba and Sh-Shino as well as my nii-san and his friends Tenten and Lee are h-helping me to become more a-assertive. I h-hope we can be good f-friends."
He opened his eyes to see Hinata's face right in front of his, her hand in his. Her smile was a bit watery, but wholly sincere and it made Sasuke's own widen.
"Friends," he declared. They shook on it.
He held onto her soft hand for a few seconds longer before reluctantly releasing it. "Well, as your new friend, let me say congratulations on your solo. You should go celebrate it. It looks like you have someone waiting to celebrate with you."
Hinata followed his gaze to the redhead that was leaning against the church's back door, seemingly unaware of his surroundings.
"A-Ah, yes," she said, nodding. "Thank you again for the flowers. Sunflowers are my favourite," she told him. She gave him a quick wave goodbye before turning to leave.
He watched her walk up to Subaku and saw them exchange a few words. Subaku held open the back door for her and Hinata made to step out.
"Hinata!" Sasuke called out, his heart racing within the confines of his chest.
She paused in her step, looking back at him over her shoulder curiously.
"Let's sit together in class tomorrow. I need someone to scold me when I'm too sarcastic to the teacher. I heard you're good at that."
Hinata smiled brightly and nodded to him before leaving the church with Gaara.
Once the back door had swung shut once more, hiding their figures, Sasuke let his shoulders slump. He was feeling a strange mix of emotions, but one emotion stood out the most.
'When they left…they weren't holding hands.'
He couldn't help the hope that lit up his heart at the thought.
Omake
"Where the hell is damn punk anyway?" Jiraiya groused from the front seat of his car, staring out at the church's front entrance impatiently.
Naruto fiddled with the radio from the passenger seat. "There's no time limit for encounters of love. Isn't that something you've said before?"
Jiraiya huffed in response. "Like that kid has a single loving bone in his body. He's definitely still a virgin."
"What's got you so grumpy, you ol' perv," Naruto asked, still switching between radio stations. "I bet you felt up Tsunade-o-baa-chan and she totally kicked your ass for it."
"SHUT UP BRAT!"
Naruto snickered, glancing out of the corner of his eyes at the purpling bruise on his godfather's cheek. "Heh, I'm totally right," he said to himself.
The back door suddenly swung open and both Jiraiya and Naruto turned at the sound.
"What took so long?!" Jiraiya asked, already starting the car before Sasuke had even closed the back door.
"I was making friends," Sasuke answered in a careless tone.
"More importantly," Naruto said, leaning around to peer into the back of the car at his brunet friend, "Why the hell is your hand in your hair."
"Oh, right." Sasuke pulled his left hand out of his hair and wiped his hair-gel covered palm over Naruto's face.
"WHAT THE HELL SASUKE?! DON'T USE MY FACE LIKE A TOWEL!"
"Then don't put your face in my personal space, Narutard."
"TEME –"
"NARUTO SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND BOTH OF YOU BETTER PUT ON YOUR DAMN SEATBELTS OR I'M THROWING YOU OUT OF MY CAR!"
"Yes, Jiraiya-san."
Okay, first things first. This is a SasukexHinata story, so the pairing is Sasuke with Hinata. Please be reassured of this fact. With the way Sasuke's state of being was up until now, I felt that any relationship he entered would be unstable. He had to grow and this story is the start of Sasuke's redemption. It's called character development. This is why, as it stands, Sasuke and Hinata are not currently in a romantic relationship. (If you want some insight into Sasuke's thoughts, try listening to 'Let Her Go' by Passenger, I thought of it as I wrote Sasuke.) Of course, the format of this series being what it is, we only get to peek in on Sasuke and the HHS world for one single day every now and then. Life happens in between these points, but what you, the reader, see is the characters and their lives at one single point. So it may seem that things move too fast, but generally weeks have passed between stories. Please keep this in mind - I try to convey it as much as possible within the story itself, but I'm not sure it's clear enough.
There are still a few stories before this series is finished. At least four, unless I'm mistaken. They will be the last day of school (worthy of being a holiday, I think), Independence day (Canada's anyway. It'll be taking place in July, but feel free to imagine it as your own country's day), Sasuke's birthday (to match Hinata's) and Thanksgiving (again Canada's, explaining why it takes place before Halloween). Please let me know if I've forgotten a holiday.
Sorry for how long I take to write things. Thank you to any loyal readers that have remained with me till now, I truly don't deserve it. To any new readers that have noticed this story, welcome and please note that this is part of a series and you might want to read the previous installments in order to completely understand the plot.
Please review and let me know how my writing is faring after two years of lab reports as my only form of writing (though I've been doing some beta-ing on FF, so there's that). I'm trying to expand the HHS universe by adding in more characters, so this part had Ino and Jiraiya thrown in and then there were Itachi, Naruto and Sakura who have appeared briefly before. I don't often write for these characters (though I can hardly say I write 'often' for any characters at all -_-'), so I'm worried about their characterization. Please let me know how I did; don't be afraid to criticize.
Hope you're having a great summer.
Midnight's Violet Haze
HS