Elsa played with her magic a little bit, when she knew no one was looking. Only in small ways, ways that would melt from existence when she placed it in the sunlight peering through her window. Her favorite things to make were snow people, small figurines she would detail with her imagination.
"Anna would love these," she'd always think wistfully, as she formed them between her small, skilled hands.
She rarely saw Anna anymore. Only at mealtimes, when they would come together as a family in the large dining hall. The long table stretched across the room, making it look narrow; however, in reality, even though Anna and Elsa sat across from each other, it felt as though they were miles away.
Anna was growing, Elsa noticed. Her plump hands and elbows had slimmed daintily, and her burnt orange hair was growing out in long tresses. It always struck a feeling of guilt in Elsa's heart when she saw the white lock of hair woven into her little sister thick braids. It was her fault her beautiful hair was marred, and more so that she and Anna were not close anymore.
"Was she born or cursed?" the troll had asked.
Elsa had another way of putting it: she was born cursed. Forget the conjunction. She was cursed.
"I'm cursed with this magic," she whispered to herself one morning as she sat by the window, looking out at the springtime she couldn't play in. She touched the window with her finger, and drew a picture of a snowflake with ice. It melted away instantly on the warmth of the glass. "How can something so beautiful be so terrible?"
"Elsa?" a voice, shrill and sweet, called in a muffled voice through the door. "The ducklings are hatched! Don't you wanna come out and see them with me?"
"I can't, Anna," Elsa answered briskly, pulling away from the window. She always lived in dread that Anna would forget their parent's order never to enter Elsa's bedroom.
"Please?" Anna did not sound like the expected a change of mind. Instead, after a moment's hopeful hesitation, Elsa heard Anna's footsteps leave the door and disappear.
"It's not fair," Elsa whispered bitterly, folding her arms on the window sill and resting her chin on them. "I never get to go outside or play with Anna. I never will, not for my entire life!"
The windowsill frosted under her icy words, crackling softy. Elsa sighed and took a deep breath, repeating the chant her father had taught her: "Conceal, don't feel."
She sat up, deciding to create her snow figurines. She curled her fingers and sparked a snowflake between them, and then swirled it lightly until it was a snowball in her hand. She did not have to touch it to shape it into a small girl with pigtails and large eyes and broad smile. She motioned with her other hand, imagining where she wanted everything to be.
In moments, she had a little Snow Anna. She'd never made a Snow Anna before. It felt almost forbidden, as though someone had explicitly told her not to create Snow Annas. However, considering what had happened to Anna years before, it seemed wrong to do it.
Except now. Now, it made her happy. She swirled an extra layer of sparkling snow over it, adding a touch more to her eyes. "There you are, Anna. Don't you look pretty?"
She set the figurine on the windowsill and proceeded to create her entire family. Mother, Father, herself, and even a little Olaf, just like the ones she and Anna used to make. She built a small ice palace for them to live in, creating daunting spires and sweeping staircases with a slight turn of her wrist.
"Hello, Anna," Snow Elsa said to Snow Anna, "I have a secret to tell you."
"Oh!" cried Snow Anna joyfully in a pitched voice, "I love secrets!"
Snow Elsa created a tiny flurry of snow, sending its minuscule, sparkling flakes down in a twirl of confused motion. It alighted on the two snow girls.
"Magic!" Snow Anna gasped wondrously.
Elsa did not know how long she played with her little snow family; however, she allowed the warmth of the sun pouring in the window to melt it away in its time. The last to go was Snow Anna, maybe because Elsa kept her from the sun's beams and encircled in her cold hands.
"I miss you, Anna," Elsa whispered to the little snow girl, touching her lips to the top of Snow Anna's head. "I wish I did not have magic. I wish I never hurt you, and that we could still be together."
She held Snow Anna to the light of the window and let her melt away.
