Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters (Karigan, King Zachary, etc.) nor do I own the lyrics. The characters belong to Kristen Britain and the lyrics belong to Hana Pestle.
This Way
I'm not drowning
I don't need your hand to save me
I'm not sorry
I don't need your touch to change me
Ever since she had come out from the tombs, she found him reaching out to her more and more. She could see it in his eyes… he wanted to help her, to be there for her. But she couldn't let him. It was his duty to marry Estora, and she would not get in the way. Even though she knew that it would hurt both him and her, she didn't feel any regret. She would be doing both of them a favor if she let go of her love for him and made herself just a common green rider to him.
And I don't need to know just where I am
And you don't need to know
Where this would take them, she didn't know. It would be hard, but she had to put Sacoridia before herself. She couldn't let her heart ruin her country. If he broke the contract that Lord Coutre had made with him, the eastern clan lords would withdraw their support, leaving Sacoridia divided. She would not be the cause of a Civil War. Though she knew that her king wanted an answer from her, she wouldn't tell him.
It's never enough
It's too much
It shouldn't be this way
The more that you give
The more I give away
I know I shouldn't be this way
Some part in her craved his love, his kindness and compassion. She wanted the love that he could give her… that no one else but him could give her, but sometimes, it became too much. His constant declarations of love overwhelmed her, driving her to the point where she felt she had no other choice but to give in. It was wrong of her, but she felt like that was the only relief from this constant heartache.
So forgive me if my words don't fit your meaning
I'm not guilty but your crimes are mine for the keeping
And I, I don't need to know just where I am
And you don't need to know
It's never enough
It's too much
It shouldn't be this way
The closer you get
The more I feel the pain
I know I shouldn't be this way
But she had a different answer. She couldn't tell him that she loved him. If he asked why, she would tell him that it was impossible for her, a commoner, to be with him. What mattered was that he give up on her and go through with the marriage, for the country's sake. If she told him that, he might give her up as a hopeless case. But there was one thing that she was sure she couldn't forget. That he had once loved her. She knew that their love would not be completely destroyed… a piece of her heart would always belong to him.
And I know I'm on my own
And I know I'm alone
And I don't need to know just where I am
And you don't need to know
It's never enough
It's too much
It shouldn't be this way
You tighten your grip
And my hand slips away
I know I shouldn't be this way
It's never enough
It's too much
It shouldn't be this way
She knew that she might never love again, like she had loved him. For now, she would be alone. It was wrong that she should have to sacrifice love for her country… for him. She had run from love long enough. Now she would face it, and deny it. Life was unfair, but she couldn't change it. If it was her destiny to marry King Zachary, she would have, but it wasn't. It was Lady Estora's destiny to marry him, not her. As much as it would hurt, she had to do it. Closing her eyes, Karigan let herself be drawn into a nightmare, knowing that it wouldn't be the first in the next few months to come.
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