Hello people. Sorry for my absence. I was on a very important project sending emergency supplies of magical sock-puppet syrup to disadvantaged sock puppets in Canada...I mean, Narnia. But I'm back!! With another glorious random oneshot. Hope ya likes it.
It was just another normal June day at the loft. Mark was looking at footage of random homeless people and rabid pigeons on his projector, Roger was sitting by the sill playing a heavy metal version of Musetta's Waltz on his beat-up guitar and the dish and the spoon were playing Go Fish on the kitchen counter. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Roger and Mark looked at each other.
"You answer it," said Roger. Mark got up and opened the door. On the other side stood a man with thick curly hair, a fuzzy beard, a grey suit that looked like it belonged to the 70's and an old-style suitcase in his hand.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! IT'S THE SQUEEGEE MAN!!" cried the dish and the spoon, who ran and hid behind the couch, trembling with fear. Mark shook his head at them and turned to the visitor.
"Um, hello," said Mark awkwardly. "May I...uh, help you?"
The stranger smiled at Mark goofily. "Hello there! My name Borat!" he said in a thick, hillibilly European accent as he clutched Mark's hand, shook it vigorously and kissed him on both cheeks. "I am number one television reporter in Kazakhstan!!"
" What the hell are you doing here?? I don't even know anybody in Kazakhstan!!" said the Jewish boy in disbelief.
"I come to visit my old friend Roger. I think I find him here?"
"Hey Borat!! How you doin?!?" yelled Roger as he got from his seat to give his friend a hug. Borat pulled him close and kissed him on both cheeks. The two of them giggled and squeezed each others' butt cheeks for no reason while Borat opened his suitcase, which contained multitudes of wigs, moustaches and other random stuff.
"Whoa!! Hang on a second!! How do you know this guy, Rog?" cried Mark with despair and just a hint of jealousy.
"I once dated his sister," said Roger, who was busy trying on one of Borat's fake moustaches.
"She is number four prostitute in all Kazakhstan!!" Borat proudly added which combing his moustache.
"I seduced her with goat cheese and electric prods!!" piped Roger, while wearing a Tom Selleck moustache.
"And then he get entrance into her vah-gin!!" yelled Borat excitedly, wearing an Elizabeth Taylor wig.
Mark was so shocked and disappointed with the discovery of his friend's secret that he fainted and landed on the couch, so violently that it broke under his weight and revealed the dish and the spoon who were still cowering in fear.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! THE SQUEEGEE MAN IS STILL HERE!!" yelled the spoon.
"YEAH!! AND SO IS TOM SELLECK!!!" yelled the dish. The two of them ran crazily around the room without even knowing where they were going until they ran into Collins, who suddenly came out of the wall. Don't ask me how he did that.
"Hey Borat!!" said Collins, going up to hug his friend but getting knocked over by the spoon who headed straight for his eyes. Collins was permanently blinded and tripped and fell out the window.
Roger and Borat looked at their pale Jewish friend who was lying passed out on the floor, then grinned at each other. Then they stripped off each other's clothes and got hot and heavy on the dilapidated coffee table.
"Hey Borat. I forgot to tell you something," said Roger in between breaths.
"What?" said Borat excitedly.
Roger grinned and smacked Borat's hairy ass.
"You are number one prostitute in all Kazakhstan!!"
The End.
I know. This is all i could come up with on the spur of the moment. The next one will be better, I promise.