THIS IS A JOKE, OKAY? LEAVE ME ALONE.
There was once a girl named Irisiqua Bonquiqui (sometimes called Irissa) and she moved to a town called Rosewood and met four girls named Aria, Hanna, Spencer, and Emily. Irisiqua joined the swim team, but she always seemed to keep running out of energy. So then Emily told her, "You should go get an energy drink to help you swim with more energy." Irisiqua agreed to do this. "Where do I get this energy drink?" Irisiqua asked. Emily said, "Go ask Spencer. She knows this town inside and out." Irisiqua went to Spencer and asked her where to go. Spencer responded, "Go to 7-11, the convenience store. They have this good energy drink called Monster." Irisiqua agreed and headed off to 7-11 on a freezing day in Rosewood. Then she saw a girl named Maya St. Germain who stopped her. "Where do you think you're going?" Maya St. Germain asked her. Irisiqua said, "I'm going to 7-11 to get an energy drink called Monster. Emily and Spencer told me to." Maya shook her head in disgust, "My girlfriend Emily is such a bad influence sometimes!" Irisiqua was shocked that Maya was a lesbian, but she didn't say anything. "What are you talking about?" Irisqua asked. "Monsters are supposed to help me in my swim races." Maya St. Germain laughed and looked at her funny, "Irisiqua, Monsters are terrible for you. They're energy drinks, and they can kill you if you drink more than two. What if your heart explodes? What if you get too hyper and some car hits you?" Irisiqua rolled her eyes, "Maya, I think I know what I'm doing. I'm going to get an energy drink whether you want me to or not!" Maya called after her, but Irisiqua Bonquiqui didn't listen to her. She just kept going on her walk to 7-11. It was a cold day. Irisiqua was planning on going to her friend Gabe's house later on, but she wanted to pick up her energy drink first. Maya called her several times to try to stop her from buying the energy drink. She left many messages warning her about how bad the energy drink is for her body, but Irisiqua was being a badass and she didn't listen. Once she got to 7-11, she looked around for her energy drink. She found the store's fridge section with all the cool drinks, and scanned it for a Monster. She found a Monster. She wondered if this was the one Emily and Spencer were talking about. She Kiked Emily and Spencer a picture of the drink, and they both said it was. So Irisiqua picked the drink up and headed to the counter of the store. She was about to purchase it when she thought about what Maya said. Maybe Maya was right... Maybe it was really bad for her. Then Irisiqua laughed and said to herself, "No! Maya was just trolling with me. There's nothing bad about one energy drink. The worst that could happen is that I get a little thirsty or something." So Irisiqua had the man at the counter scan it. She paid the money for it and headed out the door with her drink. Then she saw her friend Aria waiting there and waved. "Hey Aria! How are you doing?" Irisiqua asked. "I'm good," Aria responded. "What's up Irisiqua? What are you doing at 7-11?" Irisiqua responded, "I came to get an energy drink called Monster. I think I'll try this one before buying another one to help me swim with more energy." Aria shook her head, "Maybe you should drink that once you drain a little bit of your energy, rather than now when you're full of it." Irisiqua shook her head, "I'm just trying it out!" Aria said, "You might get a little hyper, though. Don't drink it all! I'm warning you." Irisiqua lied and said, "Okay." But she knew she was going to drink the whole thing right now, since she was super thirsty. So Irisiqua headed off to Gabe's house. Gabe was her brother's friend, but he was really nice and fun to hang out with. Irisiqua gulped down the whole Monster, and she became really hyper. She started doing the Harlem Shake in the middle of the street. Then, Detective Wilden was screaming at a woman in her twenties named CeCe Drake. He was so angry that he started speeding his car. A student named Lucas Gottesman saw Irisiqua dancing, and Wilden speeding towards her and screamed, "Don't hit that crazy girl!" But Wilden didn't see her, and sped towards her. He accidentally hit Irisiqua. Once he realized what he did, he fled town and changed his name to Shaniqua Brown and lived in a small hut in Africa, feeling guilty of what he did to poor Irisiqua Bonquiqui. Irisiqua was dead. Her mother was crying. Her funeral came around. Hanna, Aria, Emily, and Spencer were extremely sad. Three years later, Maya St. Germain went to visit Irisiqua's grave. She whispered at her grave, "I told you so... I told you not to drink an energy drink, but you didn't listen to me." Maya put flowers on Irisiqua's grave, and left. That was the end.