Disclaimer: I don't own the guys from this marvelous anime, no I only barrowed them for a while.
Gore….gore….nothing but gore. Goku's POV
Normal letter: Goku.
Italic: Song.
WAR.
I don't know why I always get nervous and overwhelmed when it comes to doing what I do, I seriously can't tell you how scared I am right now, it's like two in the morning and I'm walking, walking towards our enemy's stay. My companions look calm; I don't know how they can possibly look so calm. My best friend, Vegeta, always reminds me that we do this for our honor and for our life, honor? Killing people for honor? Life, I can understand but honor? No.
"You're doing it for you wife and your brats." He said, I guess he saw my worried face.
We rested for a while, though I was very uncomfortable, Vegeta dragged a corpse to me and he slumped on it like if it were a couch, he pulled on my pants and sat me down on the dead man's legs, I winced at the smell, this man must've gotten killed a few days ago, because his skin was starting to discompose, yuck.
"Gee, why do we do this again?" I asked him, he looked at me annoyed
"Honor and Life, but for you it's for your brats and harpy."
"Don't call Chichi that please."
"Whatever."
"Don't you do it for your wife and son?"
"Nah, I do it for my country."
At least he was honest, he was always saying that he would give his life for the country, for his honor and pride…seems he was forced to marry the woman, Bulma I think is her name, he never really talks about her, I ask him about his son, he always says the kid is too much like his mother, Trunks is the boy's name, he's one year older than my youngest son Goten.
We hear the order to keep moving on and as we do I look around.
Staring at the carnage, praying that the sun would never rise.
Living another day in disguise.
These feelings can't be right, lend me your courage to stand up and fight, on tonight.
We arrive, our enemy seems to be asleep, I feel a knot tighten itself under my ribs, they signal us to keep our head low as we slowly and carefully move in closer, we hide and wait, some soldiers were awake, I couldn't think straight, Vegeta was by my side, I could see in his face that he was ready, but me, I was shitting my pants, I grip tightly onto my weapon, I began counting the seconds, fearing the last number even more, Vegeta was right, I am a coward, but the only thing that kept my going was the cards I got from Chichi and my kids, they helped me move on, I had to move on, I couldn't chicken out now, I'm already here! The stars and the moon is our only light, my hands are shaking, I believe I'm the only one who is scared right now. I see the soldier in charge make a signal, Vegeta was his right hand, I turn to my friend and I see him grab a grenade, it was going to begin, but the thing that bothered me the most was that the other soldiers had invaded a town, filled with women and children, old people, the soldier signaled again and I watch as my friend, Vegeta pulls the grenade lock off and he throws it over his head, followed by another ten grenades, oh my God…
Stand up and fight.
I heard the explosion, shit it left me dazed with the roar, people screaming and the war had begun, my friend Vegeta stands up and runs towards the others, the rest follows him, I struggle to stand but there I go racing towards my enemy.
Now fighting rages on and on, to challenge me you must be strong.
I walk your land but don't belong, two million soldiers can't be wrong.
I can't! I couldn't pull on the trigger and kill the soldiers! I duck quickly before a bullet blew my fucking head off! What the hell am I doing!? I was stunned, I quickly look around and I see my other companions shooting the soldiers not caring at all that they were shooting women and children, I felt the knot tighten, I raise my gun and pulled the trigger, it hit a soldier on the leg, he dropped to the ground, I was going to leave him like that but Vegeta came along, kicked him across the face and shot him on the chest. I can't understand how, how can Vegeta kill with ease, others kill with ease, but I don't! I always regret everything!
"Holy shit!" I ducked to the ground and covered my head as I heard an explosion behind me; I swear I felt the fires from hell! I look behind me and I see one of my companions screaming, I quickly crawl towards him to help him, I look at his lower body, but? Where is his lower body! Oh my God…
"Kakarot!" Vegeta calls me
Vegeta yanks me to my feet, over the roar of the gunshots, bazookas, and grenades, he screams at me for begin so stupid and a coward, I look at my companion who was agonizing.
"We have to help him!" I scream at Vegeta
"No, he's done for! Save your ass!"
"If we don't help him he'll die!"
"He's dead!"
It was true, the man was dead, he had bleed to death, poor man, his wife and children, I felt guilty for not being able to help him, but I flinched when Vegeta slapped me hard, I look at him and he pulls me to the ground again, a building exploded and some bricks landed on us, my ears hurt like hell, but as I tried to focus on my hearing sense I was yanked off the ground again.
"You want me to hold your hand or what!? Dammit Kakarot, fight!"
"I can't!"
"Listen to me, Kakarot, if we don't kill these bastards, we will lose, and if we lose, they will kill our country! Kill our children and the women!"
"…" I was stunned
"Come on!" he dragged me to the war grounds
It was true, I had to fight! I had to, I haven't thought about it, they killing my country no! That can't be! I scream in rage and raise my weapon; my bullets went through their bodies, their blood splashed against my face and stained my suit. I killed and killed!
It's no fun but I've been here before
I'm far from home and I'm fighting your war.
Not the way I pictured this, I wanted better things
Some are scared, others killing for fun, I shot a mother right in front of her son.
Take this from my consciousness, and please erase my dreams.
BAM! BAM! I pull the trigger once, twice, again and again! I rip a grenade from my suit and I throw it to my enemies, I watch it explode, bodies came out flying, legs, hands, and other limbs landed on the ground by my feet, but I no longer cared, I have to fight! For my country! For Chichi! For Gohan! For Goten! My three reasons to live! I look for my best friend, Vegeta has a smile on his face as he kills, punches and kicks the others, his words repeated themselves in my head. Words about honor, and life.
Fight for honor, fight for your life.
Pray to god that our side is right.
Though we won, I still may lose
Until' I make it home to you
I see our mothers filled with tears,
Grew up so fast where did those years go?
Memories won't let you cry
Unless I don't return tonight.
I feel like crying, I want to scream I'm sorry to the boy, the boy who lost his mother, her life, I have taken and her blood stained my hands, I grew a little afraid when I saw a soldier running, he is running towards me! I was too late to shoot him, he hit me across the face with his weapon, I fell on my back, I went blind for a second, I said my goodbyes to my wife and my kids as I focused on the gun in front of my face, I closed my eyes, then I heard my enemy fall to the ground too, except that he was dead and I was very much alive, bruised, but alive, I look up and see Vegeta's annoyed face.
"Moron." He says to me before kicking my leg.
So many soldiers on the other side, I take their lives so they can't take mine.
Scared to make it out alive now murder's all I know.
Nobody tells me all the reasons we're here. I have my weapons so there's nothing to fear.
Another day, another life, but nothing real to show for.
My breath is ragged, I've lost half my companions, these bastards were ready, they knew we were coming, but why did they have to involve the innocent? Every time I think about it, it makes me angrier, and I kill those sons of bitches with a cold heart, at first I wanted to show them mercy but when I began to see the mothers, fathers, children, the way I saw them die, I was turning into something I didn't want. I kick a young soldier and shot him between the eyes, he was about my eldest son's age, poor kid, but he left me no choice, there was one rule here:
Kill or get killed.
Fight for honor, fight for your life.
Pray to god that our side is right.
Though we won, I still may lose
Until' I make it home to you
I see our mothers filled with tears,
grew up so fast where did those years go?
Memories won't let you cry. Unless I don't return tonight.
I'm tired, there are more bastards than I thought, I see one of my companions fall to the ground, his face full of pain, he was grabbing onto his leg, I quickly ran towards him, duking next to him in his hiding place, I see the wound in his leg, it's deep, I can see the bone cracked in two, still worse it was twisted back.
"I'm sorry." I say to him
"Aaahhh!" he screamed in pain
I fixed his leg, I rip a strap of his shirt and wrap it around the wound, he grunts every time I press onto the injury, what should I do now? I can't risk our lives in trying to take him away from the town, what to do? What to do? I looked at the car we were next to, I tried to open the door, but it was locked, I carefully got on my knees, I look around, making sure no fucker blew my brains out, I break the glass and open the door, as he whined about wanting to go back there and kill the bastard who did that to him, I scooped him up, he yelled in my ear, I tried my best to lay him on the car's seats, I think one of our enemies saw us, he pulled the trigger and I ended up landing on top of my companion.
"Fuck!" he screamed in pain
"Stop screaming like a bitch, you're gonna get yourself killed!" I slammed the door and ran away from it, he was going to be ok, if he kept his head low he would, if not, then I'm sorry.
I look for Vegeta, I haven't seen him, the air was filled with the smell of blood, the bodies of women and children were on the streets, I swear daylight was brought to night, the fire was the sun, the sounds of the gunshots were the simulation of chippering birds, and the cries were replaced by the children's laughter.
"Aahh!"
I look to the side, Vegeta dropped to the ground, he held onto his bleeding arm, I rushed towards him, the soldier who shot him was running towards him too, I thought my best friend was going to be killed in front of me, but I knew Vegeta had a trick under his sleeve, he is a very clever man, I hoped he had a trick because I was far away from him, I stopped running, Vegeta pulled out a knife, before the soldier pulled the trigger he buried the blade inside the man's stomach, under his navel, I saw my friend say something then smirk, he moved the knife, slicing the man up to his throat as he got to his feet, my stomach made a flip, I saw the man's guts land on the ground at Vegeta's feet.
I smiled, for hours I didn't smirk but now I could, because I saw my friend alive, but to my bad luck I was struck to the ground, holy shit! I had a woman on top of me! She held onto my neck, she squeezed hard, I tried to get her off, but she was as strong as a man, she wasn't a soldier, she was one of the towns' people, she roared her anger at me, saying that I had killed her child, that I must pay, my vision began to get blurry, and my air became scarce, I reached for my gun, but I could only touch it slightly.
I gasped as her blood landed on my face, she fell on me, damn she was heavy, I pushed her off, seeing her deformed face, there were three holes over her once eyes and nose, I look to the side and see Vegeta, he saved me, again, I owe him my life, twice now. He cracked his neck and threw me my weapon.
"You should become a nurse instead." He growled and moved on
"Watch out!" I pushed him to the ground as a grenade exploded behind us, almost even with my debt
"Get off!" he coughed
"You think I should become a nurse now?"
"Shut up and be careful, idiot, war's not over yet!" He ran away
Staring at the carnage, praying that the sun would never rise.
Living another day in disguise.
These feelings can't be right, lend me your courage to stand up and fight.
Watching the death toll rise wondering how I'm alive.
Stranger's blood on my hands, I've shot all I can
There are no silent nights, watching your brothers all die
To destroy all their plans with no thought of me
No thought of me, no thought of me.
I look around, so many dead people, the blood inks the entire place, the town is getting quiet, no more gunshots, no more blood, no more cries, no more women and children, I…I wait for the sun to rise, the scene in front of me made my heart ache so much, there was a small stuffed bear in front of me, I grabbed it and saw some initials on it, it belonged to a child, a child who was somewhere, lifeless, I feel a strong pain in my throat, I tried to swallow it down but it only made it worse. I pray, wishing to never see the sun again, but what else could we have done? If I didn't fight back, they would have killed my family. We won, we won the war, I see my companions make their way up to a hill and as I follow them I remembered my companion in the car, I rushed back to the town, looking for the vehicle, I see him inside, he looked at me with a smile, as I help him out, he asks me if we won, I answered with a sad 'yes.'
I can't understand why I feel so overwhelmed if I've done this before, I've killed before, maybe I just have a weak heart, Vegeta walks up to me, with a brand new corpse, he slumps on it and pulls out a cigarette, he offered me one but I said 'no' with my head.
"You did it for your harpy and brats, Kakarot, how many times do I have to repeat the damn thing?"
"How can you be so calm?"
"Hmm" he shrugged and took a long drag "listen, we are soldiers, we just take orders, it shouldn't affect you so much, we've done this since we could walk."
"What about all the women and children?"
"I'm sorry, but there was nothing we could do…we'll pray for them."
"…" I feel the same knot in my throat
"Cheer up, idiot, it'll be easy for them to enter the gates of heaven, not like us."
"Hn." I try to smile at him
"We won our ticket to hell." He smirked
"At least you'll be with me between the hellholes." I tried to make him laugh, I felt a little calmer when it worked.
"Yep, we'll meet there." He said between chuckles
"I'm gonna…go…" I take a few steps back
"Where?"
"Walk a while."
"Say 'hello' to the dead for me."
I gave my best friend a nod, I turn around and head back to the town, I need to be alone, think about what I have done, say to the air that I'm sorry, so sorry for killing all the innocent people, I feel the need to cry and scream. My heart aches as I see kids crying for their mother, others still agonized, drowning in their blood, children roam the streets, now orphans from war. I'm sorry, I'm very sorry.
Walk the city lonely
Memories that haunt are passing by
A murderer walks your streets tonight
Forgive me for my crimes; don't forget that I was so young
Fought so scared in the name of God and country.
THE END.
Yep, he is sorry. And I'm sorry too!