Gee, it's been a while since I've written anything, never mind a Redwall fic. I'm still a little rusty, so bear with me, people!
This is the first time I've ever written a Sue bashing fic, so yeah, if I'm a bit off, feel free to point it out.
Also, this is separate from LittlePsychoWolf's story, which some of you MAY have read. If you haven't, read that one first, and ignore this bit of crud I've been playing with. Believe me, she's better at writing…But if you still insist upon reading this, be my guest.
Consider the setting in a Sue version of Mossflower.
Also, don't own Redwall.
-
Mossflower had been a place of heroes, heroines, legends, and mystery.
I say had been because it's not that kind of place anymore.
No, a golden aura hung over everything in the forest. Every tree, leaf, flower and stinky mushroom gave off a faint golden glow only detectable at night. But there was one place where the glow was always, visible, night and day.
That's right, Redwall.
The old abbey had once been a noble place, one of caring, healing, and farming. But now, there was that sickly golden aura messing with it and everything dwelling within its walls. The illusion of eternal summer was obvious and maddening.
The old residents had long since fled from its once protective walls, and the new residents had moved in almost as soon as the old ones had fled. They were the cause of the aura radiating from the place.
-
Sashblade Hawktalon opened his yellow-gold eyes. He'd been napping under an apple tree after his daily grooming session. His silky cream colored fur glimmered in the sun, and his trademark object, a jade colored silk sash, was wrapped around his waist. His claws, sharpened to the point they could cut through solid stone, dug into the ground as he pulled himself into a sitting position. He smiled at the apples above him, reveling perfect white fangs. The male wasn't a full blown Stu yet, but he was getting there. He just needed a little more time.
The young otter's stomach grumbled. Patting it, he stopped. There was that odd sensation again.
Hunger.
Stus like himself rarely felt the need to eat, seeing as how their superior build made them able to survive for months at a time without the need for food and drink. But lately, he'd been feeling hungrier and hungrier with each passing day. Was there something wrong with him?
His thoughts were interrupted by a lovely, almost siren like voice. "Brother! There you are."
Ears twitching, Sashblade looked up at the trim form of his sister, Syrenia Larksong, gliding towards him. His twin sister bore the same fur as him, but had sparkling, aqua colored eyes and a red sash draped artistically over her shoulders. Being a Demi Sue, her beauty was not unmatched, but she still attracted quite a bit of attention from the Stus.
"Oh, hello sister. What are you doing out here?" He asked, still somewhat sleepy.
"Well, Dirge wants us to be on the evening patrol, y'know, to make sure no filthy commoners find our lovely base and touch everything with their dirty little paws." Syrenia giggled. Her laugh sounded akin to a stream bubbling through a forest glade.
"Why doesn't he send someone faster than us? Everyone knows Windpaw's been angling for the position of Head of the Guard and he's the fastest thing on two and four paws," Sashblade complained. "Besides, I haven't eaten anything today."
His sister gave him a concerned look. "You're hungry AGAIN? That's four days in a row! I have half a mind to report you to the head Medic. Mark my words, brother, you keep this up and you'll become fat and unsightly. Then we'll have to kick you out of the base so you can live with the other commoners."
"So what? They aren't bad folk."
"Don't speak of such things!" Syrenia scoffed. "They're trash, we're royalty! That's the Unwritten Law!"
"Hey, you two!" The pair looked to see a very irate wolverine stomping towards them. His fur was jet black with streaks of grey, which set off his pink eyes, a sign of his eternal Bloodwrath. His claws and fangs were like knives, each one honed to perfection. "I though I told you two to get on the evening patrol! It's almost sundown, and you two pansies are still hanging around! Get yer tails out there!"
Despite the fact that Syrenia and Sashblade were skilled warriors, they knew better than to pick a fight with Dirge, even if he was a Demi-stu.
-
Night was falling on Mossflower, but the foliage still glowed with a faint golden light, lighting the path for the two young creatures.
While Sash, as his friends called him, preferred fighting with knife, sword and paw, his sister combined her archery and magic skills to become a lethal threat to far away enemies. She was even on the verge of creating a homing arrow, which followed the target to the ends of the Earth.
"Wow, isn't it beautiful, Sash?" Syrenia asked. "No wonder everyone with a boy or girlfriend wants to serve on the Evening patrol."
Sash nodded half heartedly. He really didn't care for the beauty surrounding him right now…there were other things on his mind.
Syrenia frowned. She could tell, something was bothering her twin, thanks to their telepathic connection.
"Brother?"
"What?"
"Something wrong?"
"Well…"
Before he could say anything, a faint rustling caught their attention. Drawing his daggers, Sash's night vision activated. Scanning the area, he couldn't detect anything overly suspicious, but he still had a gut feeling that something bad was about to happen.
"Is it just a false alarm?" Syrenia asked, lowering her bow.
Suddenly, a blur of copper struck out from the tall grass. The two managed to dodge, but not without seeing who or what their assailant was.
'A serpent?' Sash asked himself. It wasn't any snake the two young otters had ever seen before. Its scales glowed a dull copper in the faint light. Its mouth was open slightly, reveling dagger like fangs. All in all, it looked like an unremarkable snake, but there was something about it that make Sash quiver inside, which was a new feeling for him.
The snake gave a low hiss, its unblinking emerald green eyes staring at the two. It then hissed in a low voice, "A Ssssue and a Ssstu. How tasssty. I was getting a little hungry."
"You can talk?!" Syrenia asked, bow raised threateningly.
"Of courssse I can talk," the snake replied irritably. "Now, if you two will hold ssstill, I can finish thisss quickly. You won't feel a thing, promissse."
"Over my dead body!" Sash snarled, leaping up to engage the serpent. Daggers at the ready, he dove gracefully, daggers ready to pierce the creature's skull.
SNAP.
The daggers broke on contact with the bronze scales. The two otters gasped.
Sue and Stu weapons never broke. NEVER.
A long, whip like tail flicked and smashed into the twins. "I told you idiotsss to hold ssstill!" The snake growled.
"What are you?" Syrenia demanded, unfazed by the attack.
"I'll ssshow you!" Rearing, it sank its fangs into Sash's shoulder, then into Syrenia's. Neither flinched or cried out in pain at the bite.
"Is that all you got?" Sash yelled, leaping up…and promptly falling flat on his face. "Ow…"
"Brother!" His sister darted towards him…and tripped over her own paws, landing face first in a puddle of mud.
The serpent gave a raspy laugh. "Now, aren't you two unremarkable?"
Groaning, the male otter pulled his head up. "W-what did you do?!" He demanded weakly.
"See for yourself." The snake replied.
Looking himself over, he soon realized that his lovely cream fur was coated in a mud colored substance. Giving a cry of shock, he dove into a conveniently placed pool of water. He scrubbed himself furiously, but the brown stuff wasn't coming off.
"That's not mud, you idiot," The otter looked up to see the serpent coiled up next to the pool. "That's your new fur color."
It took a couple of seconds for that last sentence to register, before Sash realized what he had said.
"WHAT?!" He yelled in disbelief.
The snake simpered at his rage. "You think that's bad! Look at your reflection in the water."
The otter climbed out, and stared at his reflection. Gone were his yellow-gold eyes, his lovely white fangs, his sharp claws.
His eyes were now the color of mud, his teeth still intact but minus the fangs, and his claws were dull and blunt.
"I'm…I'm…" Sash stuttered
"Not a stu anymore? Thank goodness for that," The serpent replied. "Now, we can begin the Recession from Studom."
"Recession from Studom?!"
"Is there an echo out here? Yes, that's what I said, twerp. Now get your sister out of the mud before she drowns or something."
Still glaring at the serpent, Sash strode over to his sister, hauling her upright. "Syrenia…Sis, wake up!" He growled, shaking her.
The female otter's eyes fluttered opened. "W-what happened? Why is my fur covered in mud?" she looked up at her brother "And who the heck are you?"
"Sis, it's me, Sash. Listen, Syrenia, I hate to break it to you, but, uh, that's not mud on your fur," Sash said hesitantly. He really hoped his sister could take the news. "That's your new fur color."
Silence.
"W-WHAT?!" She screeched, trying to brush the brown stuff off furiously. "It-it can't be! It just can't!"
"Well, guess what, sweetie?" The snake hissed irritably. "It's not a dream, it's real! Now keep it down or I'll smack you into oblivion."
"How can I calm down?!" Syrenia wailed. "I'm…I'M NORMAL! Mediocre! Plain as yogurt! Unimpressive!" She continued to wail.
"Hmm…She's retained some of her Sue attitude…I'll have to make note of that in the future. But I digress…" The serpent swung it's head to the wailing former Sue. "HEY! Stop that wailing already!"
"Who are you, anyway?" Sash asked. "And what happened to your lisp?"
"The name's Normality, and the lisp? Just an act. Now, unless you want to be banished from Mossflower, you'll follow me."
"W-why should we?" Syrenia demanded, still teary eyed.
"Because your wailing has attracted the attention of the Sues and Stus back at Redwall, and they're sending a patrol right now. I can hear them getting closer." Normality replied, heading back into the undergrowth.
The otters exchanged a glance. Running after him, Sash asked, "How the hell do you know that?"
"Isn't it fairly obvious?" The snake replied, allowing them to catch up. "I'm a full blown Stu myself. How else would I be able to hide from your night vision and hear the patrol coming from leagues away? But that's neither here nor there. Come on, they'll catch up to us if we don't hurry!"
The two figured it was best not to argue with him at this time.
-
After running for at least an hour, they stopped at a large cliff side with a large waterfall cascading down from one side. Sash and Syrenia were dead tired from running. Flopping down on their tails, the cooled their paws in the pool at the base of the cliff.
"Oops, I keep forgetting that you two don't have your freakishly good endurance anymore. My bad." Normality said apologetically. "Anyway, the Base is only a little father along. You two can rest here for a few minutes if you want."
"Hey, Normality," Sash piped up. "Why did you ask us to come with you? We could have stayed and told the others about you."
"Why did you agree to come with me?" Normality asked. "As for your friends, would they have listened to you? You two are commoners now, and they would have disregarded anything you'd have said."
The male otter's face fell. He hadn't thought about that…
"Oh, and before we get to the base, you two, there is something you must know…" Nomality said, slithering up to them. "But it requires you to think to understand it. Now that you are commoners, you are free of that golden haze that clouded your mind. Now, you can think freely."
"Couldn't we do that before?" Syrenia asked in an annoyed voice.
"That kind of thought is an illusion, now shut up and pay attention!" Normality snapped. "Now, out of all the Sues and Stus you've ever seen, what type of animal have you NEVER seen as a Sue or Stu?"
Sash looked pensive, and then replied, "I don't know. I've spent all my life as a Stu and never really seen a beast that wasn't a Stu or Sue…"
"Well, you've obviously never heard of a hedgehog or a mole…or even a shrew the, correct?" The two shook their heads, puzzled.
"Well, no one knows why these creatures aren't affected by a Sue's Golden aura, but they just aren't. That being said, they've set up a literally underground network devoted to the downfall of the Sues."
-
Urk. If you read this far, I hope you enjoy this story, because there's more where that came from. There will be more, even if I don't get reviews.
Also, yes, I've noticed the distinct lack of moles, hedgehog and shrew Sues or Stus. Hares too, but their more likely to become a Sue or Stu. If anyone has a Sue or Stu OC that's a mole, hedgehog or shrew, please let me know. I've never actually seen one before, and I'd like to see one.