/ prologue

Letters.

They were the only thing connecting Haruno Sakura to her hometown, Konoha. After she left the village, she had expected visitors from her hometown – because they promised they'd visit (Ino, Kakashi-sensei, Shizune, and Tsunade-sama). But no one came. Only papers consisting of how are you's and we miss you's came. Ino and Tsunade sent letters every Tuesdays and Thursdays while Kakashi would send her letters on Mondays.

The first few weeks, she wondered if they would ever visit. But after three months passed by, she stopped wondering and started ignoring the fact that no one came to visit (even when they said they would) hurt her. She kept herself busy for the Kazekage and for the Sand village. Heat strokes were common there, so most of the time she had to be on duty at the hospital. The village valued her greatly, as Kakashi once told her – "you're an asset, Sakura, every village out there wish they have someone with your expertise." Sakura took great pride in this statement, as it had been proven true.

Years ago, she was a girl with no ambition and no other dreams other than to be "Sasuke-kun's bride." Now she was a woman looking to be the best in her field, and even though they told her she was, she wanted to make sure she could do her job properly. Not only in the field of medicine, she also wanted to make sure she could be a kunoichi strong enough she could handle ANBU level jobs. And they told her she could, and she could easily be ANBU if she wanted to. But all her life she had two huge shadows overwhelming her and no one could ever tell her she was strong enough because she knew those two boys will always be ten steps ahead of her.

And she aspired to be someone who could walk next to them, or maybe even, if she were allowed to dream bigger, surpass them.

So she worked and trained, and wrote letters back to those who promised. She adapted to the climate in Suna, and she started to get used to the fact that Ichiraku did not exist there. She worked, and trained, and wrote letters, and she adapted. These were the necessary part of a routine for her to not break apart. Because six months later, she received a letter from Kakashi that sent her plunging into a darkness she thought was impossible to exist:

Naruto's engaged.

That was it. The only words written on paper. Sakura read the words twice, thrice, and the fourth time she read them, she wasn't surprised to find tears flowing down her cheeks.

(Because now he could never be yours and you thought you could run away from the fact that he's going to be happy without you.)

Sakura wanted to be the best medic, surpassing all the other medics, and she wanted to be a kunoichi strong enough she could walk next to her two boys with her chin in the air. But, if she was permitted, she also wanted to be someone who could give Naruto happiness, because he gave her so much and she (it's too late now) loved him.

I'm sorry.

Was what Kakashi wrote on the back of the paper, and she walked outside to her balcony to burn the letter. (This won't change anything.)

(You knew when you left that nothing could change the fact that the world will keep on spinning – you were supposed to accept the fact that Naruto will be happy with Hinata and not you because you were supposed to be in love with Sasuke and not Naruto, never Naruto.)

But it was Naruto who she came to fall in love with, properly this time too, not because of some shallow reason. But it was too late and he never believed her when she told him "I love you." And even though she left the village with her head held up high, believing her words when she told herself: "I'll be okay because he's happy." Because apparently that was what you were supposed to do when someone you loved fell in love with another; you were supposed to be happy for them because their happiness would be yours. (Bullshit.)

(You're an idiot and now you're paying for it.)

The next time Gaara informed her he would be travelling to Konoha, and offered "would you like to come?" she shook her head and said "no, I have a lot to do here, I will be too busy and I can't neglect my responsibilities," and he looked at her solemnly because that was always her excuse every time he offered but he said nothing because it wasn't his place to ask "why do you not want to visit the place you love so much?" because he caught her crying when she received letters from Konoha and he knew how much she missed home. But she refused every time and after some time he understood why.

"Tell Naruto congratulations, though," she smiled as she worked her way through the paperwork. "I'm very happy for him."

Gaara didn't miss the fact that her voice shook ever so slightly at "I'm very happy for him", or the fact that her eyes were swollen and her nose red and there were still traces of tears on her cheeks. So he only nodded and said "I will, good luck with your work," and left her office.

As he made his journey to Konoha, he wondered why happy endings were unfair, and why love was so painful. He ignored the fact that his throat closed up at the thought of Sakura crying through the night after receiving the news. But he will smile for Naruto because he deserved to be happy and;

"Kankurou, life is unfair, isn't it?"

"Aa," Kankurou nodded, because he knew why Gaara suddenly brought this topic up. "It sucks."

"We can only endure, huh?"

"Yeah, we can only endure."

Because that was what Sakura said when she gave them her transfer request, and when she informed them she'd be staying indefinitely even though the medical exchange program was temporary.

"Are you sure about this?" Gaara had asked back then. "Won't your friends worry?"

"Don't worry about it," she smiled. "They know."

"I don't think I quite understand, Sakura-san," he frowned. "Why are you doing this?"

"Let's just say," Sakura pondered. "Because life sucks, and all we can do is endure."

He was confused then, but now he understood. So he tried his best not to think of a crying Sakura in Suna, and readied himself to congratulate Naruto:

Because you deserve to be happy, Naruto. After everything, you deserve to be happy.

a/n

people have been asking for a sequel to my one-shot because life sucks, and i decided to just go ahead and make the sequel. i'm really, REALLY, unhappy at how naruto ends so i'll pour everything into this fanfiction. it will be narusaku, but it might not end narusaku – we'll see. i already kind of have the ending in place, but we'll see how this goes.

reviews are appreciated,

DD.