Hocus Pocus
Warnings: A little slash, not really explicit, may be some innuendo/euphemisms.
Disclaimer: None of them are mine, to my deep regret. I also don't own Hocus Pocus, which is a real film not-quite-starring Sean Murray (for the purposes of this story, McGee.)
Oh dear… I can't seem to write fluff without it becoming angst and/or slash. There's a little of both here. Also apologies for the slightly shifting POV, and I know there a weak points – it was a spur-of-the-moment thing.
I know there's already a story with this title and a vaguely similar premise – I hope you don't mind me posting this (you know who you are!)
Anyways, enjoy?
There were two surprising things that morning when Ziva entered NCIS. One, McGee, usually the most punctual agent by far, was absent. And two, a certain Goth from downstairs was sitting in his chair, spinning round and looking extremely pleased with herself. It was indeed a puzzling sight, and she was opening her mouth to inquire just what was going on when a male voice from behind beat her to it.
"Hey, Abby. Where's Probie?"
Abby looked a little affronted, and Tony hastily tried to rectify his mistake.
"Not that I wouldn't rather have your beautiful face at the desk next to mine, of course."
At this, she stopped turning in the chair and winked at him before frowning and wagging her finger at him in school-teacher fashion. "Bad Tony."
He held up his hands in defeat. Seeing this, she broke into a wide smile.
"Now that I have you fully in my command, let me show you this."
Ziva broke in. "But where is McGee, Abby? It is always nice to see you, of course, but he is usually here already."
Abby looked a little guilty at this. "I emailed him the link to this new game I found. He'll have been up all night playing it. Trust me on this one. Anyway, it's all part of my master plan. Watch."
She spun to face the computer and turned on one of the large screens. It appeared to be the opening credits to a film. When the name Hocus Pocus materialised, Tony turned to Abby, a quizzical look on his face. "Why are we watching a nineties kids' movie?"
She put a finger to her lips. "Shh. Just watch!"
The first scene was of some kind of medieval-looking farm. The only person in shot was a boy. They could only see his back at first, but then he turned. The two agents gasped simultaneously as Abby smirked.
"Is that who I think it is?" Tony stuttered.
"Yep. Great hair, don't you think? You've got to watch now. He's being all heroic."
The three of them watched as a much younger McGee chased after a girl, who was presumably his sister, as she was taken to the 'creepy' witches' cottage in the woods, all the time shouting "Emily!" in a slightly squeaky voice. It became hard for them to hold in their laughter and soon all three were snickering. As the witches gathered round him, Abby paused the video. Ziva turned to her questioningly as she wiped her eyes.
"What happens next? I was really getting into that!"
"He gets turned into a cat."
This struck them all as hilarious, of course, and the laughter started up again.
"Why didn't you invite Ducky and Palmer up to join the party? They would love this!" Tony was laughing so hard it came out rather garbled but Abby got the gist.
"Oh, I already showed it to them."
"And what about Gibbs? Wouldn't he have liked to see it?"
"See what, DiNozzo?"
Their boss's commanding voice cut through their laughter and Abby hastily hit a button so the screen showed the official NCIS logo. All three assumed innocent expressions. But Tony had to think of an answer quickly.
"Um… nothing, boss… we were… just… um…"
Gibbs sighed. "Put it back up there," he instructed Abby, nodding at the screen.
Guiltily, she started the film again. Gibbs watched impassively until the moment when NCIS' Timothy McGee was turned into a cat by three rather unscary witches. Only then did he break into a smile.
"Good work, Abs."
"What – oh no. Not that. Anything but that."
They all turned as a new voice spoke to see McGee walking into the squadroom. This drew a variety of replies.
"Nice hair, Probie," from Tony; Ziva, studying the screen carefully, proclaimed that she wasn't sure she didn't prefer the cat; Gibbs ignored him completely; and Abby avoided the subject of why she appeared to be the one responsible for his embarrassment. "How was the game?"
McGee shot her a look of complete despair. "You set me up, didn't you?"
She at least had the grace to look embarrassed. "Well… not exactly… okay, so maybe…" Normally the most talkative member of the team (with the exception of Ducky, that is) she was temporarily lost for words. Instead she quickly scooted out of his chair and he sunk into it, slouching so far down that none of them could see his face behind his computer.
No-one was quite sure what to do next, and they turned as one to Gibbs, who was already seated at his desk. He looked back at them blankly. "Well? What are you waiting for? Get to work!"
After an eventful start, the day quietened down considerably. Abby gave McGee a quick hug, presumably to apologise for her part in his humiliation, and skipped off to her lab to do God-knows-what and listen to her music. With a phenomenal amount of paperwork to fill in, Gibbs was in a particularly bad mood, so the other agents spent most of the day tiptoeing around, trying their utmost not to get in his way. McGee was quieter than most, but only Tony seemed to notice. All his tentative questions, delivered with the usual DiNozzo tact and subtlety, delivered no answers, only earning him more than a few headslaps from his rather grouchy boss. Eventually he wisely decided to shut up and stop trying to pry into McGee's mind.
Unusually, Gibbs was the first to leave. It probably had to do with the paperwork, and possibly the fact that someone had heaped sugar into his coffee that morning. Soon after, Ziva yawned, stretched and announced that she was off to get Abby – something about a girls' night in. At this, Tony's eyes glazed over, doubtless because he was living out some fantasy inside his head, but he was quickly brought to his senses by a look from Ziva that could have cut stone.
Before long, only Tony and McGee were left at their desks. It didn't take Tony long to realise that his colleague was no longer working, but simply sitting and staring at the computer screen. Silently, he got up and crept over to see what was so interesting. What he saw was the beginning of that stupid film, sound muted, looped over and over again. He sighed, reached over McGee's shoulder, and turned off the screen.
"Let it go, Probie. We had our fun. And we're sorry if it upset you. Well, I am, at least. Can't vouch for the others. Although I… I'll just stop talking now, shall I?"
McGee had stood up sharply and now faced him, a look of pure rage on his face.
"How can you say that? It was the biggest mistake I ever made! Have you any idea how much I got picked on for that? I was never popular to begin with, and that stupid movie just made it worse! I think about it enough already without you all coming along and dredging it all up again! So you, Tony, you can just shut up!"
He raised his fist as if he was going to hit him. But before they could come to blows, Tony leant in and kissed him hard on the lips.
Both of them were extremely surprised at this turn of events. On Tony's part, it had just been an impulse – but he was discovering, though he would never admit it, that his "Probie" was a surprisingly good kisser.
McGee was not quite sure what had just happened, but to be honest, he wasn't bothered – who would complain whilst getting the best kiss of their lives?
When they finally came up for air, Tony couldn't meet McGee's eyes. If he was trying to stave off the inevitable question, however, it wasn't working.
"What was that about?" He sounded puzzled and a little breathless, but no longer angry.
Staring fixedly at the floor, Tony shuffled his feet. "Um… I don't know. I'm sorry."
He waited for the sarcasm he was sure would follow, could already hear the cutting remark - "DiNozzo apologizing? That's a new one."
But all that came was a hand under his chin, forcing him to look up.
"Tony… don't apologise."
Then there were soft lips on his and McGee's arms around his waist. It was surprisingly comforting.
After a while, he realised that both of them were going to want a little more than kissing. He broke the kiss, regretfully, and whispered in McGee's ear, "My place or yours?"
There was a glint in McGee's eye that he had never seen before as he answered, "Um… yours? But, Tony, what about Rule 12?"
Tony growled. "You can shove Rule 12 up your – no, screw that, I'll show you what you can do with Rule 12."
And, McGee thought, as he followed Tony to his car at a run with a smile on his face, he meant that very literally indeed.
(Like? Hate? Indifferent? I always like to know, hint hint)