I wrote this a while ago - it was a birthday fic for a friend. I
wrote it before I knew much of anything about X (and I... still... don't
know much of anything about X) so forgive any mistakes I've made. It'd be
helpful if you could actually correct me when you review (because I know
you will, babydoll... yes... you will... cos you love me...)
Short, introspective, cliche. Hoo-rah.
~ ~ ~
Subaru leaned back against the trunk of the sakura tree, the bark cool and stippled under his jacket. He waited, chewing his fingertip thoughtfully. Seishirou would be here, there was no doubt it. The taller man - simply a sweet whispering apparition now - would never fail to appear, his long fingers pale and glinting, reaching for Subaru's flushed velvet cheek. Visible but intangible, so close and yet so painfully far. He was more than just imagination, that was for sure; Subaru could smell his hair, smell the cigarette smoke on him, the husky scent that was purely Seishirou. But then, he was only a wishful projection of the heart - solid and sure only in dreams.
And those dreams all ended horribly.
Seishirou, with one hand outstretched, reaching for Subaru, blood streaking the dip of his strong cheekbone. His living eye wide, brimming with pain and disbelief... betrayal, incredulity, endless and boundless and limitless love. Love beyond human imagination.
The foolish heart forgave, but Seishirou was not a foolish man.
So why then? Why did he show up every day under these trees and stand waiting like some sort of celestial being while the petals swirled about him like some penetrable curtain - what was the reason? Why did he still look at Subaru with the same love in his eyes as the day Subaru killed him?
Maybe Subaru himself was imagining it all. Maybe this was his mind at work, and he saw nothing but a figment of his own imagination. Maybe this was his mind at work, and he saw nothing but a figment of his own imagination. Maybe this Seishirou showed up so faithfully every day because, simply, Subaru *made* him.
Seishirou was dead, had been for a while, but Subaru refused to accept that. This much even he knew. Seishirou was so strong and endless, so present. It was impossible to believe that existence had just been... extinguished.
But it had.
Subaru had. Subaru had been the one to kill the thing he loved most. The one he held onto so tightly. His guardian, his stronghold... but most of all, his lover. His dearest friend in life.
A silky sakura petal drifted across the grass, joining with another in a silent dance. The pair were soon joined by more, and they swirled around Subaru's feet like playing children. But out of all of them, only two caught his eye: one was the reddest - dark, luxurious magenta and blood red in the shadow of the trees - and the other was the whitest. Pure as snow and silk. The rest were all the uniform shades of mottled, pleasant peach.
The red petal danced on air until it was right in front of his face. It twirled and spiraled just a bit before dropping gracefully into the palm of Subaru's hand. The white one lay on the grass before him, between his feet.
Subaru felt the ghosting, flittering caress of a hand on his cheek and sweet, familiar musk before all of it was gone and Subaru was alone again... Just a young man in the middle of a grove of sakura trees with a strange light in his tear-filled eyes. Subaru closed his fist over the petal in his palm. Seishirou was gone, gone for good...
But Subaru would not let go.
~ owari ~
Short, introspective, cliche. Hoo-rah.
~ ~ ~
Subaru leaned back against the trunk of the sakura tree, the bark cool and stippled under his jacket. He waited, chewing his fingertip thoughtfully. Seishirou would be here, there was no doubt it. The taller man - simply a sweet whispering apparition now - would never fail to appear, his long fingers pale and glinting, reaching for Subaru's flushed velvet cheek. Visible but intangible, so close and yet so painfully far. He was more than just imagination, that was for sure; Subaru could smell his hair, smell the cigarette smoke on him, the husky scent that was purely Seishirou. But then, he was only a wishful projection of the heart - solid and sure only in dreams.
And those dreams all ended horribly.
Seishirou, with one hand outstretched, reaching for Subaru, blood streaking the dip of his strong cheekbone. His living eye wide, brimming with pain and disbelief... betrayal, incredulity, endless and boundless and limitless love. Love beyond human imagination.
The foolish heart forgave, but Seishirou was not a foolish man.
So why then? Why did he show up every day under these trees and stand waiting like some sort of celestial being while the petals swirled about him like some penetrable curtain - what was the reason? Why did he still look at Subaru with the same love in his eyes as the day Subaru killed him?
Maybe Subaru himself was imagining it all. Maybe this was his mind at work, and he saw nothing but a figment of his own imagination. Maybe this was his mind at work, and he saw nothing but a figment of his own imagination. Maybe this Seishirou showed up so faithfully every day because, simply, Subaru *made* him.
Seishirou was dead, had been for a while, but Subaru refused to accept that. This much even he knew. Seishirou was so strong and endless, so present. It was impossible to believe that existence had just been... extinguished.
But it had.
Subaru had. Subaru had been the one to kill the thing he loved most. The one he held onto so tightly. His guardian, his stronghold... but most of all, his lover. His dearest friend in life.
A silky sakura petal drifted across the grass, joining with another in a silent dance. The pair were soon joined by more, and they swirled around Subaru's feet like playing children. But out of all of them, only two caught his eye: one was the reddest - dark, luxurious magenta and blood red in the shadow of the trees - and the other was the whitest. Pure as snow and silk. The rest were all the uniform shades of mottled, pleasant peach.
The red petal danced on air until it was right in front of his face. It twirled and spiraled just a bit before dropping gracefully into the palm of Subaru's hand. The white one lay on the grass before him, between his feet.
Subaru felt the ghosting, flittering caress of a hand on his cheek and sweet, familiar musk before all of it was gone and Subaru was alone again... Just a young man in the middle of a grove of sakura trees with a strange light in his tear-filled eyes. Subaru closed his fist over the petal in his palm. Seishirou was gone, gone for good...
But Subaru would not let go.
~ owari ~