Stalked
Part One - Sighting
Fowl Manor, Dublin, Ireland
Being stalked, Artemis decided, was not necessarily a good thing.
Sure, it was good for the ego (and yet slightly disconcerting) knowing that somebody fervently admired him (to the extent of stealing his trash), but, quite frankly, it was beginning to fray upon his nerves. To him, the shower was perceived as a relatively peaceful place, when one could go about their personal business with no thought regarded to the outside world.
The aforementioned shower was not meant to be guarded by Butler, under the shadow of fear than a rabid fan could quite possibly make her way into, and violate the privacy of young Master Artemis.
In his study, the boy internally shivered. He really did not need another note from the girl. The last one was a strain to all speakers of the English language. Not some peculiar hybrid between letters and numbers.
"OMFG HAHA I LUB U ARTY SOOO MUHC 3 3!!!!112! U ROX MI WRLD!!! LOLOLOL11!!"
Re-reading the latest 'note', Artemis massaged his temples with thumb and forefinger. He would surely go insane via the ramblings of a hormonal teenage girl - the genius had received the first note five days ago, and had acquired a subsequent one each day. Upon further speculation, Artemis sincerely hoped that the notes were from a teenage girl. Female, in general, would be a mercy.
Somebody rapped on the door of his study. Through a process of elimination, Artemis decided that the mystery knocker was Butler. The knocked was firm, yet not deafening, with the raps well spaced apart, indicating a general confidence around the persona.
It also helped to the judging process that there was nobody left in the house besides him and Butler.
"Enter," called Artemis, still frowning at the note.
Indeed it was Butler who entered. "Artemis," he said, shutting the door behind him. "It appears that somebody has sent you a letter."
"Then why not place it with the rest of my mail, Butler?" Artemis murmured, now holding the note up towards the light.
Butler hesitated. Then wordlessly he rested the document in front of his principal.
Artemis glanced toward it, and visibly recoiled from the shockingly pink envelope. Upon further (tentative) inspection, it was revealed that a number of lurid, hot pink hearts adorned the paper, and a strange smell was wafting gently towards him. Artemis's nose twitched. Yes, he definitely smelled perfume. Was there no end to this person's depravity?
His manservant cleared his throat. "Maybe I should open it. Remember, we do not know what this … unstable person could have planted inside."
"Yes, that would be apt."
Holding the letter gingerly between two fingers with the flap pointed away from him, Butler slit open the letter with the tip of a throwing knife.
And was promptly engulfed in a haze of smoke (that somehow managed to hit Butler, despite the opening being in a different direction to him).
"Butler!" said a startled Artemis, upsetting his chair.
Butler blinked twice, dropping the letter. "Yes?"
Artemis furrowed his brow. "Are you quite alright? I suspect that the chemicals inside the envelope reacted with the oxygen, but I am not sure of the effects. Do you feel any different?"
The bodyguard was confused. "What just happened?"
Immediately, Artemis became more perplexed, and not a tad apprehensive. Reaching down, he picked up the letter with a handkerchief, and pulled out a piece of paper folded inside.
Dear Artykins, said the letter, in cursive, flamboyant handwriting.
I hope you liked my notes so far – a symbol of my undying love for you!
Inside this letter is a piece of paper. But also a magical gas that I brewed up – a gas which will cause you to be powerless against my advances! Hah hah!
Anywho, I'll be stopping by soon. As soon as I shake off some Recon jock, bent on knocking me out. I've stopped him so far – the power of our love keeps me going!
Soon to be in your arms,
Destiny Devereaux Violette de Fleur.
Artemis's left eye twitched. What in the heavens was going on here?
Unfortunately, the doorbell rang. The young genius had a feeling that he wasn't about to enjoy the company.
Dublin, Ireland
"D'arvit!" cursed Destiny Devereaux Violette de Fleur. "Stop following me!"
Luxurious mahogany hair streamed out behind her toned, athletic body, as she raced through southeast Ireland. So far, she had been chased through the Aran Islands, across the sea, past the Shannon Estuary, across the Blackwater, then to Cork Harbour (where she had actually fallen IN, thank the Gods), had managed to lose the police for a bit (by cleverly using her Olympic swimming skills to reach Wexford Harbour), and there followed an 80 mile chase to Dublin, where, in all miracles, she had not been caught, hit by a car, or broken a nail.
Leaping over a fence, Destiny landed perfectly on her hands, and tucked her long legs into her chest, ignoring the Neutrino blast that had just missed her. Smirking, she spring boarded forward eight feet, dodging yet another shot. Really, the odds were against her.
After another hour of running, dodging, and occasionally fighting back against the LEP officer – Destiny did not like violence but was beyond grading in Aikido, Wushu and Brazilian Jujitsu – she arrived at the wrought-iron gate of-
"Fowl Manor," she stated, a smug smile crossing her porcelain features.
Some ways behind her, a groan was heard sounding from an LEP helmet.
Fowl Manor
"Should I answer that, Artemis?"
"Perhaps that would not be the most prudent course of action." Unfortunately, the bodyguard was out of the door before Artemis knew quite what was happening. He groaned. Of course. That envelope was meant for me, not Butler. Some concoction has him acting peculiarly.
Pursuing Butler, Artemis took the stairs two at a times, reaching just in time to witness his bodyguard, friend and mentor open the door to … someone.
--
Destiny frowned. "You're not my Artykins."
Butler agreed. "No, I'm not."
"Where is my Arty?"
"In the house somewhere."
The girl smiled. "Well then, if you wouldn't mind, I would like to take him with me. Possibly get married. In Thailand."
Butler thought about this. "I don't think his parents will agree to that." He knew that the age of consent in Thailand was significantly lower that Ireland, with parental permission.
"Huh. Well then, I'll just have to convince you!" Destiny Devereaux Violette de Fleur flipped her hair over her shoulder, and slunk into a defensive position.
Butler had a bland expression on his face. "It's okay. You can go and see him." He even stepped aside for her, revealing –
"Arty!"
Artemis grimaced, and prepared himself to be embraced by an unknown member of the female species.
He was not disappointed. With a bone-crushing grip, she seemed to attach herself like a limpet onto his side.
"Butler, could you please remove our guest?" The aforementioned guest let go.
"Something's wrong. You should be all over me!"
Rubbing circulation back into his left arm, Artemis sneered. "Excuse me, mademoiselle, for not falling at your feet. I do not appreciate being assaulted, and I am sure that members of my staff do not find it amusing, being under whatever spell you have placed him in."
Destiny stared at Artemis, then at Butler, who waved merrily from his position at the door. Then back to Artemis.
The resonating cry of "D'ARVIT!!" was heard from the hall of Fowl Manor.
Dublin, Ireland
The newly reappointed Captain Holly Short muttered a few choice curse words as she chased experiment 5U3M4R1 across Ireland. Damn Foaly and his foolish research. Thanks to the centaur, there was now an escaped test subject leading her on a merry dance through the Emerald Isle.
"Stupid pony," growled the elf. "If only he knew where to stop. If only he thought about the consequences. If ONLY-"
Her tirade was cut off by a whinny. "Holly…" whinged Foaly. "I already said I was sorry. But Vinyáya said that this would be a vital step for the People…"
"No she did not," snapped the fairy. "She said that what you were doing was a waste of time. Which it is. And now your waste of time had progressed into my waste of time. You following this?"
Foaly made some noises that Holly supposed were meant to sound remorseful. To her, it sounded like he was coughing up a carrot.
"But I said I was sorry. What more does a quadrupedal have to do around here to get forgiveness?"
"If you were sorry, you'd be up here, chasing down this fool. I've been doing this for over a week. A d'arviting WEEK! I'm tired. I'm hungry. I ache from where that idiot's kicked me. For Frond's sake, with this new jumpsuit on, I look like a man. Do you know where she's kicked?!"
Foaly winced.
"I'm sweaty and I stink, while she on the other hand, does not. I do not even want to know what you've done to her so she doesn't smell!"
The technician was slightly worried. It would appear that Holly was in a ranting mood – she never complained about missions. "Look, Holly, I don't know why you're complaining-"
Holly blew up. "I've been out about grounds for a week, flying in BROAD DAYLIGHT, chasing after one of YOUR damned failed experiments! That thing, on the other hand, ducks my Neutrino blasts, flights me in midair – MIDAIR, FOALY! – and is going on a wild goose chase! And you have the GALL to tell me that you DON'T know why I'm complaining?!" She shut the connection off after that, silently fuming once more.
Foaly didn't bother opening a link to her again. Even he, with his limited social skills, knew when to back off.
Grumbling over, Holly concentrated on catching up to 5U3M4R1. It just figured, thought Holly, that she had to be able to somehow counteract the seeker-sleeper inside of her. And have been able to dodge Holly's Neutrino blasts. And be able to race around Ireland, without tiring in the slightest, only sleeping when Holly slept. To give you a fair chance, she had smirked. Flipping that long hair over her shoulder.
Holly snorted. Only 5U3M4R1 could keep her hair perfect whilst on the run.
The scenery looked familiar to Holly as she flew by on her Hummingbird wings. Opening the throttle a tad further, she sped over the Irish scenery (thankful of her shield and the relative quiet of the place) and with the zoom in her visor, spotted her target.
In front of a very similar manor.
She groaned. It just had to be Artemis Fowl, didn't it? Accelerating, the distance between her and Fowl Manor dissolved and she touched down lightly, a little way beyond front door, just in time to hear the exchange between Butler, Artemis, and 5U3M4R1.
This was not bound to be good.
Holly had a theory about what to do in a situation parallel to this one. Of course, she had no idea that it would actually work.
Bursting through the door, Holly fired off two level one Neutrino blasts, effectively taking out Butler. He would most likely hinder, not help the situation, considering that 5U3M4R1 had affected him with some spell. The experiment squealed.
Holly pointed the weapon at Artemis. "Freeze, or the Mud Boy gets it."
"No! You can't kill my Arty!" The rogue creation appeared to be torn between clutching onto 'Arty' as hard as possible, or fighting Holly for him. She settled for stepping several feet away from him, scowling, yet still sending coy glances at him.
Artemis shot the officer a look that seemed to be conveying the message of shoot me NOW.
Holly realized that she would have to take the initiative in this arrest. "Experiment 5U3M4R1, you are under arrest for breaking out of Haven Laboratories, venturing above grounds without permission, making contact with humans, ignoring the officer sent to take you in, assaulting said officer, and causing her grief."
Artemis perked up. "'Her'? Unless I am mistaken that would make the officer Holly Short?"
"Hey, Artemis. Long time no see," she greeted him, not taking her eyes off of 5U3M4R1. "Sorry about Butler."
He shrugged. "There are no side affects, and I am sure that he will understand. Just one question," he asked casually, glancing at what he knew her to be, Destiny Devereaux Violette de Fleur. "I assume that who you named 5U3M4R1, has in fact given herself the name of Destiny Devereaux Violette de Fleur?"
Holly stared for a moment, letting this information sink in. After what seemed to be an eternity, she burst into cackles.
"Artemis," she said, amidst guffaws. "Foaly said, that once she's named herself, that means that she's found a target. Call me a pixie, but I'd say she's after you!"
Artemis looked less that pleased. "I think that I understand just what type of 'target' I am. And believe you me, discovering it was not a pleasant experience."
Holly raised an eyebrow. "I can imagine. Anyways, I need to take 'Destiny' back to Haven so Foaly can fix whatever he started. And let escape."
Artemis mimicked her eyebrow. "What did he do?"
The LEP officer sighed. "I'll tell you once she's been apprehended. See you." Holly turned to Destiny, who was currently torn between staring beseechingly at Artemis, and glaring daggers at Holly.
"Right. You're coming with me. If you come quietly, then maybe you'll get a reduced sentence." Holly pointed her Neutrino at the escapee, indicating for her to follow.
Unfortunately, 5U3M4R1 had other ideas.
"No way!" she cried, dashing to Artemis. "I'm not leaving my Arty-poo to go with a … a man-woman!"
Holly growled. "'Man woman', eh!" With a fluid motion, she raised her gun, and shot off six Neutrino bursts in quick succession.
Towards Artemis.
AN:- Yes, I still have to learn how to update. I actually thought about FINISHING this story before posting it. But then I thought again.
Yours until vampires turn vegetarian,
.:VampirePeaches:.