Ok so this fic had an accident! My flatmate's annoying younger sister was using my laptop and managed to delete it! I still don't understand how but anyway! Luckily I had a back-up so here it is again. All the chapters up until 8 which I posted last night are here in one now because I don't have time to divide and upload individually.
Ok - deep breaths. This seriously made me panic when she said what she'd done!
Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Serena paused at the door and turned back slowly to face Hanssen sitting at his desk. She tilted her head as she observed him for a moment. He was pretending to read something on his laptop.
'Was there something else Ms Campbell?' he asked without looking at her.
She debated whether or not to go ahead, then sighed. 'Yes.' She paused. 'I'm taking you for a drink.'
Hanssen looked up sharply. 'I beg your pardon?'
'Don't deny you could do with one. I know you were quite… attached to Tara Low.' She said.
'I was not "attached" and I fail to see what you bringing me for a drink…' Hanssen snapped.
'It's alright to be upset.' Serena interrupted. 'Actually it's quite encouraging to know you have a heart and are not in fact the real life Tin Man!' Serena said stepping a little closer to his desk. 'Elliot's taken Valentine home, Ms Effanga went for dinner with a few others. Jac and Nurse Maconie have gone for…' she paused, 'well, they went somewhere together. You can't sit here on your tod bottling it all up and as I don't see any other volunteers… I'm bringing you for a drink.'
Hanssen opened his mouth to speak but Serena continued.
'And I'm not taking no for an answer. Either you come out with me or I return here in a few minutes with a rather nasty bottle of plonk we confiscated from an alcoholic patient last week.' Serena made her way back to the door. 'I'll see you at the door in five.' Without waiting for further protest she left.
They walked into a quiet Albie's and Hanssen looked around curiously but also with a slight hint of unease. He had never been there before except for a brief appearance at a staff party some years ago. They went to the bar and the bartender greeted them warmly.
'The usual for me please.' Serena said. 'And…' she caught sight of Hanssen's quirked eyebrow. 'What?' she turned on him.
'They see you here a lot then do they?' he asked.
Serena glared. Hanssen's attention was caught by a group of young people he recognised as working at Holby but who he did not know. He had a feeling they were porters. They were eyeing him and Serena uncomfortably and moved away to the other end of the bar.
'Follow me.' Serena said and he realised she had their drinks. Perhaps he should have offered to pay, he thought. He followed Serena to a secluded table and sat opposite her. He realised she had ordered him a double brandy.
'You didn't ask what I wanted to drink.' He said.
'No I didn't because you would probably have said something ridiculous like orange juice.' Serena replied.
'I have to drive later.' He said.
'No you don't. Not tonight.' Serena informed him. 'Tonight Mr Hanssen…' she smiled enigmatically at him, 'you get sozzled and let loose.'
Hanssen raised a sceptical eyebrow. 'And the point of that is…?'
'To grieve.' Serena replied simply. She took a sip of her wine.
Hanssen was not sure how to reply. 'I still fail to see how becoming intoxicated will help.' He said eventually but he did raise his glass and take a sip.
'It gives you the freedom to say what you really want, vent your feelings. Have enough of it and it blocks out the whole thing for a while as if it didn't even happen.' Serena said with a touch of sadness.
'I'm sure that can be achieved in other ways.' Hanssen said.
'Yes, through sex.' Serena replied matter-of-factly causing Hanssen to splutter his drink slightly. 'But I'm not sure my good intentions will stretch to that, although ironically that brings us back to the benefits of alcohol…' she smiled at the uncomfortable look on his face.
'Why are you doing this?' he asked.
Serena shrugged. 'I'm paid to care – I do work for the NHS after all.' She said with a mocking glint in her eyes. She picked up her glass and watched him over the rim as she sipped. He looked like a fish out of water. 'When was the last time you were here?' she asked. 'In Albie's.'
Hanssen shrugged slightly. 'I believe I made a five minute appearance at a staff party three years ago.' He answered.
'Where do you normally go then?' she asked.
'Go?' he asked, confused.
Good grief, Serena thought. 'Well that explains a lot.' She mumbled.
'Explains what?'
Serena ignored his question she took another sip of wine, then putting her glass down firmly she nodded towards the bartender to bring another round.
'Right. Tonight Mr Hanssen we begin your socialisation.' She said.
'My what?' he asked.
'Your socialisation. Like when you have a puppy and you teach it to play and bahave with other dogs.'
'Are you comparing me to a PUPPY?' he asked askance.
'Well you do have rather sad puppy dog eyes at the moment.' She replied. The bartender arrived with more drinks. Hanssen did not look pleased.
'We'll begin with small talk.' Serena said.
'I don't do small talk.' He replied.
'You do tonight - yet another benefit of alcohol, it leaves you with no shortage of things to say!' she told him cheerfully. 'You really have been missing out Henrik. Get a move on with that.' She nodded to his first drink.
Hanssen's phone rang.
'Do. Not. Answer. That.' Serena told him sternly. 'Unless it's your lover or someone calling to say your cat is stuck up a tree you do not need to answer that.'
Hanssen looked at her in amusement. The call was from Terence Cunningham. He rejected it.
'Good boy.' Serena said approvingly. 'Not your lover then?' she asked slyly.
Hanssen was not sure how much further he would allow this charade to go but for the moment he found it somewhat amusing. 'No.' he replied. 'Nor anyone calling to say my imaginary cat is stuck up a tree.'
They had almost reached the last of their third drinks when Serena rose to go to the ladies. They had well and truly covered small talk.
'You can get the next round in.' she told Hanssen. 'And we'll move on to the next stage when I get back.'
'What's the next stage?' he asked a little worriedly. His alcohol tolerance was low as he didn't drink very often and he knew he was already inebriated. To drink more would be ill advised, especially if Serena was plotting something.
'What did I say tonight was about?' she asked. 'Getting sozzled and letting loose.' She smiled wickedly. 'You are well on your way to sozzled, so now it's time to let loose.'
'What does that mean?'
'We're going to get you a shag. Or at the very least get you a snog!' Serena didn't notice the horrified expression on his face as she turned to look around the room. 'I'll have a look out for suitable candidates on my way to the ladies. Order the drinks.' She said and she was off.
She was obviously joking, Hanssen told himself.
Chapter 2: Chapter 2
Henrik Hanssen had not woken up with a hangover since the morning after Sahira Shah's gut-wrenching departure from his life. He had not woken up on a sofa, with his clothes in disarray and a woman half draped along his body since his student days in Sweden. But he found himself in this position the morning after Tara Lo's death.
His head felt as though someone had taken a sledgehammer to his skull. His mouth was dry, his neck stiff from the awkward angle at which he had slept against the arm of the sofa and he had no immediate recollection of how this had come to be. Adding to his confusion was the teenage girl standing before him, her arms crossed and a slightly mocking expression on her face.
'Morning.' She said with a lazy smile that was instantly reminiscent of Serena Campbell. Ah, Hanssen thought to himself through the fog in his brain, she must be Serena's daughter. As he managed to focus his gaze better he could see the resemblance more clearly. He couldn't remember her name. 'Mr Hanssen isn't it?' she asked.
'Yes.' He croaked hoarsely.
She smiled in amusement. 'Have a good night?' she asked, her tone feigning an innocence that the expression on her face didn't share. God, she was so like her mother, Hanssen thought. He could feel a blush rising to his cheeks under her constant stare.
'I do apologise for…' for what, he wondered. He looked down at a still sleeping Serena, her head resting on his shoulder, her arm around his midriff, their legs entwined.
'No need to apologise to me.' Eleanor said. 'Although, finding your mum on the sofa wrapped around some bloke isn't the best start to the day.' She tilted her head thoughtfully. 'I could be traumatized.' She added after a moment, staring seriously at him until he swallowed nervously, wishing his brain would begin to engage with the rest of his body and allow him some ability to try and get out of this situation with at least a little dignity. Eleanor smiled again.
'It's alright. I'm not a child.' She said. 'If you've managed to get mum to loosen up a bit then I'm glad. She could do with getting herself a bloke.' Eleanor said airily. 'I'll put some coffee on. You can wake her up.'
Eleanor left the room and Hanssen glanced down at Serena again. Her shirt was gaping open, giving him a not unpleasant view but he forced his gaze away and noted there were buttons missing from her shirt. His own shirt was also unbuttoned though he didn't seem to have lost any buttons. His belt was unbuckled but his trousers were not undone. He glanced at the coffee table where there appeared to be the remnants of a takeaway, the smell of chips made his stomach lurch.
He tried to think back to the night before. Albie's. Walking along a pavement eating chips from a paper bag. He remembered getting into a taxi and had a feeling there might have been some discussion about what address they were going to - clearly Serena had won that argument. He had a vague memory of holding onto her from behind as she unlocked the door.
Serena stirred slightly, tightening her grip on him.
The remaining fragments of memory he could not put in any chronological order as they consisted of rather intimate moments he didn't consider appropriate to relive at present.
Serena began to wake and Hanssen felt a wave of panic.
Serena was not unaccustomed to waking with a hangover and so as consciousness slowly arrived she was not overly surprised by the dull pounding in her head that accompanied it. She lay for a moment before opening her eyes and tried to think back to the events which had preceded her hangover but she was so dreadfully uncomfortable that it occurred to her she was not in her bed. Christ, she thought, as she opened her eyes to see where the hell she was. The first sight which greeted her was the nervous face of Henrik Hanssen looking down at her.
'Fuck!' Serena sat up so quickly she almost tipped Hanssen off the sofa. In reflex he grabbed hold of her to balance himself and ended up pulling her onto him again.
'Oh please, take it upstairs!' Eleanor arrived in the doorway covering her eyes with her hands dramatically. 'Mine eyes!'
'Eleanor!' Serena gasped. 'Ellie I… I'm…' Serena was too flustered to even string a sentence together. 'It's not…'
'It's not what it looks like?' Eleanor completed the sentence with a smirk.
Serena shoved Hanssen's legs from the sofa and they both sat up.
'No, Mr Hanssen and I were just…' Serena pulled her shirt closed as she tried to think of an explanation.
'Oh give it up mum!' Eleanor said. 'I know what you were "just" doing.' Eleanor laughed. 'I'm making breakfast, if you two lovebirds can manage to drag yourselves to the kitchen. Hope you like French toast Mr Hanssen.'
Eleanor walked off and left Hanssen and Serena both awkwardly avoiding each other's gaze.
'My apologies Ms Campbell.' Hanssen said eventually.
Serena forced herself to look at him. 'Can you remember if we…' embarrassment getting the better of her she looked away again.
'I don't think so.' Hanssen replied, guessing what her question was. 'We… my… my trousers aren't undone and your…. I don't think we…' He knew he was blushing furiously and he hated it.
Serena stood up suddenly. 'I need to change.'
'And I should go.' Hanssen stood up also and began to button up his shirt.
'You can see yourself out?' Serena asked, she desperately needed some space to think and clear her head.
'Yes. Yes I'll… Yes.'
Serena nodded and hurried upstairs. Hanssen grabbed his jacket and headed for the door.
'Hang on!' Eleanor called him. 'You can't just leave.'
'I apologise for all of this.' Hanssen said trying to use his clinical tone even though he knew it didn't suit the occasion.
'You are not seriously going to be that immature are you?' Eleanor asked. 'You work together. This isn't just going to go away. Come have breakfast and then you can both sort things out when mum's hangover subsides and she's made herself look decent.' Eleanor's tone was filled with more authority than Hanssen could muster right then. Under her stern glare he followed her into the kitchen.
Chapter 3: Chapter 3
Serena stepped into the shower and let the hot water flow over her face. What the hell have you done, she berated herself. She knew last night that bringing Hanssen for a drink was a bad idea. She should have left him to it and gone home.
The plan had been to get him a little drunk, maybe get him to talk, admit to being upset by Tara Lo's death and then pack him off home in a taxi - her good deed for the day done. After a while she began to think sending him home alone drunk and grieving might not be the best idea, that was when she had come up with the idea of fixing him up with someone. Albie's had been unusually quiet however and the only women in there were a bit young for Hanssen. Having unsuccessfully tried to coax him into practising a few pick-up lines she had come to the conclusion that there was as much chance of Hanssen getting laid that night as there was of Tara Lo coming back from the dead.
It was after that her memory became hazy. They left Albie's at closing time and she remembered going to a takeaway. She remembered walking towards the taxi rank, linking arms with Hanssen and singing ABBA's 'Take A Chance On Me' just to annoy him.
She knew what she was like after a few drinks, she was a flirt and she doubted last night had been any different, Hanssen or not. She cringed at what she might have said and done. She tried harder to remember, even though part of her didn't want to know.
She remembered fumbling with her keys at the door and Hanssen putting his arms around her to steady her. It had been so long since anyone had physically supported her like that she had found herself leaning into him, enjoying the feel of him.
They had talked. He'd cried!
Hanssen had cried.
She turned the water off and got out of the shower, wrapping herself in a towel and standing before the mirror, thinking back over it all again.
All night Hanssen had avoided talking about Tara. Somehow, when they got back to the house he had given in. He had spoken of how tragic it was and she remembered how he had tried to maintain an aloof, clinical tone as he spoke but his voice cracked as he spoke of seeing Oliver and Tara's parents make the decision to donate her organs. His eyes had filled with tears and she had put her arm around him. She stroked his hair, not speaking, simply letting him break.
Serena felt a deep sense of sadness at the memory of Hanssen's anguish.
Hanssen sat at the kitchen table while Eleanor prepared breakfast. She couldn't be more than 15 but she appeared so much more grown-up. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so awkward.
'I'm guessing last night wasn't planned.' She said, her back to him as she stood by the sink.
'Well…' Hanssen was not sure how to answer the question. He didn't want to be disrespectful of her mother by implying that last night had been a drunken fumble. But he couldn't imply there was anything more to it either. 'Not planned, no. But it was not quite as it might have appeared earlier.'
Eleanor turned around and studied him for a minute.
'She must like you.' She said. 'She's never brought anyone home. I don't think she's even snogged anyone since Dad.'
Hanssen tried to mask his surprise at that. Serena was an incorrigible flirt, he found it hard to believe there had been no one in her life since her divorce. He was not entirely sure but he gathered she had divorced her husband a number of years ago. Eleanor caught the look on his face.
'She's all talk.' Eleanor said knowingly. 'Dad was a prat. Messed her up.' Eleanor placed a plate in front of him with a sad expression. She was under no illusions about her father, despite how much she loved him. She knew her parents' marriage had been a disaster. 'Tuck in.' she said, forcing a cheerful smile as she heard the doorbell ring.
'Thank you.' Hanssen said picking up a fork.
Eleanor went to answer the door. He heard another girl's voice greeting Eleanor and asking about a book. They entered the kitchen and he could see the other girl paused eyeing him with surprise. He tried to maintain a casual façade and gave a brief nod. The girl smiled and gave Eleanor a questioning look.
'Gabby, this is Mr Hanssen.' Eleanor said holding back a smile. 'This is my friend Gabby.'
'Hello.' Gabby said warily.
'Hello.' Hanssen replied.
'Has your mum got a bloke?' he heard Gabby whisper as Eleanor searched through a backpack.
'No, he's… a work colleague. They have an early meeting.' Eleanor answered, handing Gabby the book.
'Hmm looks a bit too stiff for Serena!' Gabby laughed.
'Shh!' Eleanor hissed. Eleanor turned and gave him a bright smile. 'We have to get to school. Tell mum there's some French toast for her.'
Gabby made her way out towards the door and Eleanor leaned against the table for a moment.
'Don't let mum fob you off.' She said, and then as an afterthought added, 'Or scare you off by being mean! It's something she does to… I don't know. Granny says mum needs to learn to let people get close to her. I've heard her talk about you.' Eleanor smiled boldly. 'You annoy the hell out of her sometimes.'
Hanssen's lips quirked into a smile.
'But if she didn't like you then she wouldn't be so frustrated by you. She'd just shut you out, like she's done with my dad. So…' Eleanor sighed. 'I want her to be happy, that's all because she's not as tough as she pretends to be.'
Eleanor got up and left for school. Hanssen stared into the distance and considered Eleanor's words. Another memory from last night reran in his mind. Serena's arm around him, her hand stroking his head like you would consoling a child. He had made a fool of himself, getting upset about Tara. No doubt the alcohol had been to blame for his loss of self-restraint. Serena had been so warm, so gentle and it had been so long since anyone had been that way towards him…
Hanssen sighed and grimaced at the memory of how he had launched himself at Serena. Pressing his lips to hers and pulling her into an embrace.
He heard Serena's steps on the stairs and took a deep breath to steady himself before she entered the kitchen.
Chapter 4: Chapter 4
Serena paused on the stairs and looked through the doorway at the sofa they had slept on last night.
She remembered having her arm around Hanssen, consoling him. It almost felt like a dream now, the very idea of Hanssen needing comfort from anyone let alone her was almost laughable. No one would believe her even if she had been remotely inclined to tell the story. She almost couldn't believe it herself, the night had definitely not progressed as she had thought it would.
She thought back again to sitting on the sofa her arm around his shoulders, closer to him than she had ever been. Closer to him that she had ever seen anyone be before. He had paused suddenly and looked at her, the sadness in his eyes mixed with something else and before she knew it his lips were pressed against hers and his hands had slid around her waist pulling her to him.
The move had caught her completely off guard but whilst her mind slowly tried to comprehend what was happening, her body responded instantly, her lips parting and allowing him to deepen the kiss whilst her hands reached to cup his face.
This had not been a part of the plan. Whilst she often talked the talk and could flirt for England, it had been a long time since she had followed through on any of it. It had been a long time since she had even allowed herself to be in the position where it might even be a possibility.
There was such longing and such desire in the way that Hanssen was kissing her, it would have startled her coming from anyone but that it was coming from Henrik Hanssen astounded her.
Hanssen had pulled away then, he seemed almost as shocked by his actions as Serena felt.
'I apologise.' He said.
They could have left it at that, Serena thought. We should have left it at that, she told herself. But they hadn't. In the precise moment that Hanssen pulled away Serena was telling herself 'to hell with it, why not?' and preparing to give herself over fully to the passion welling up inside her.
Without speaking, her hands still cupping Hanssen's face, she had pulled him towards her again and kissed him.
Serena sighed at the memory. All of this was her fault.
She had removed Hanssen's glasses as he pushed her back against the sofa and hovered above her. His jacket had quickly followed as he kissed her neck and began to fumble with the buttons of her shirt.
Thinking back, Serena realised there had been nothing elegant or nimble about the experience.
They had shuffled about trying to get into a comfortable position on the sofa that wouldn't lead to either one or both of them ending up on the floor. In the dim light, without his glasses and functioning under the influences of a considerable amount of alcohol as well as a rapidly increasing state of arousal, Hanssen's usual dexterity had abandoned him and he struggled with Serena's buttons.
She had been vaguely aware of her shirt eventually being pulled open, as she concentrated on slowly undoing Hanssen's buttons. Luckily she had managed to do so before Hanssen's lips came into contact with the skin of her chest because the sensation of him kissing his way down her body left her motionless and breathless.
She could feel him straining against the fabric of his trousers and had unbuckled his belt. She had been about to undo his trousers when she felt his hands travel up her back and begin to tug at the clasp of her bra, whilst his kissed her throat.
She wasn't sure why but she had frozen. Her hands dropped away from him. Despite the headiness of the moment Hanssen noticed immediately that Serena had stiffened. He moved his hands back to her waist and kissed her lips gently before pausing completely and looking at her properly.
'You don't want this do you?' he asked.
'I…' she didn't know what to say, she couldn't explain it. 'It's just… it's happening very quickly, I… Can we slow it down?'
Hanssen nodded. He kissed her gently again before manoeuvring them both so that Serena lay on top. They had begun to kiss again, their hands travelling over each other's bodies slowly, languorously. The urgency had gone and Serena began to feel awkward, she could tell Hanssen was still aroused but knew that she could not go through with full sex. He must have noticed her hesitation because he had smiled at her and squeezed her shoulder gently.
'Do you want me to…' she glanced quickly towards his trousers.
Hanssen raised his eyebrows for a second before cottoning on. 'No! No. We're fine as we are.' He had kissed her again and she had snuggled against him.
That was the last clear memory she had, they must have fallen asleep soon after.
Serena continued down the stairs and turned towards the kitchen, before even entering she caught sight of Hanssen sitting at the kitchen table.
'I thought you'd gone.' She said.
'I was about to but your daughter put forward a rather forceful and sensible argument for why I should not.' Hanssen replied.
'Sensible? Are you sure it was Eleanor?' Serena said in surprise she went to pour herself a coffee.
'She seems quite mature for her age.' Hanssen replied.
Serena turned and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
'She made breakfast.' He said, nodding towards Serena's portion.
Serena grimaced, she couldn't face food right now and she guessed Hanssen was the same judging by the almost untouched food on his plate.
'Are we going to talk about… what happened?' Hanssen asked, trying to maintain a controlled tone of voice.
Serena stared into her cup and shrugged. 'Do we need to?' she asked. 'Nothing happened.'
'I suppose that depends on your definition of nothing.' Hanssen replied. For him, last night's events definitely did not constitute "nothing". But perhaps Serena was not as unaccustomed to these activities as her daughter presumed her to be.
Serena finally looked at him. 'We got drunk, we… had a bit of a fumble. No big deal, right?'
Hanssen could see the uncertainly on her face. Was it a "big deal"? He had thought she might be angry with him, after all he had been the one to make the first move.
'You're not angry?' he asked.
'Angry?' she asked surprised. 'I'm embarrassed. But… why would I be angry? If anything I thought you might be, seeing as it was all my fault.'
Hanssen looked confused. 'Your fault? I was the one who pounced on you.'
'I got you drunk.'
'That doesn't absolve me of not restraining myself.' Hanssen said.
'You did stop.' Serena reminded him. 'I was the one who continued it. And then… I didn't mean to lead you on.' She said apologetically.
'You didn't. I got the wrong end of the stick.'
Serena looked into her coffee cup again. 'I'm not sure you did.' She said quietly. 'I just…' she couldn't put it into words.
'It's alright. You don't need to explain.' Hanssen said gently.
Serena gave him a thankful smile. She caught sight of the clock behind him and her eyes widened. 'We're going to be late!'
Hanssen checked his watch and realised she was right. He had a meeting with Cunningham in an hour, he was unshaven, unwashed and his car was still at the hospital.
'I'll call us a taxi.' Serena said.
As she walked past him towards the phone, Hanssen caught her by the arm.
'This… what happened… what didn't happen, it won't go any further will it?' he asked worriedly.
'Of course not!' Serena assured. 'Our foolish little secret.'
Hanssen sighed and really hoped that was true.
Chapter 5: Chapter 5
They shared a taxi to the hospital in silence. Hanssen coming up with possible excuses for his appearance should it come up. There was no time to go home first. He had a spare suit and shirt in his car but he was un-showered, unshaven and his neck was still stiff, indeed it felt as though his whole body ached. He caught sight of himself in the car mirror and realised his hangover was making it's presence known, not only through the queasy feeling in his stomach and headache but casting a grey pallor on his face. He looked like hell. He glanced at Serena who showed no obvious signs of being hungover or having spent the night on a sofa. Well, he noted, on closer inspection she was perhaps paler than usual.
On arriving at Holby he went immediately to his car and Serena went to get a coffee before heading to Keller. Whilst waiting in line she contemplated the morning's events whilst simultaneously trying to ignore the previous night's. Elliot Hope joined the queue behind her and they both observed Hanssen rushing for the lift. A strange sight in and of itself as Hanssen was not someone known to ever 'rush'. He looks awful, Serena thought.
Elliot cleared his throat and Serena turned to smile at him.
'Morning.' She said.
'Good morning Ms Campbell.' Elliot nodded. He bit his lip for a moment and seemed to be debating whether or not to get something off his chest. Serena raised her eyebrows questioningly at him.
'I couldn't help noticing you and Mr Hanssen arrived together this morning.' He said.
Serena simply tilted her head slightly, not wanting to make any comment that might commit her to any acknowledgement of whatever Elliot was about to imply.
'How is he?' Elliot asked solemnly.
Serena shrugged, not sure where Elliot was going with this.
'I know.' Elliot rolled his eyes. 'He's not one for opening up is he?' he sighed. 'But despite what he says, or doesn't say, I know Tara's death…' Elliot sighed sadly again. 'I took Oliver home last night otherwise I would have offered Henrik some company. I didn't like to think of him being alone and bottling it all up.' Elliot smiled. 'I'm glad you were there for him.'
'It was nothing.' Serena smiled tightly.
Elliot waited until they had both ordered before continuing.
'It's not "nothing" to offer a fellow human being solace.' He told her.
'Oh I wouldn't go that far, I just brought him for a drink.' Serena tried to brush it off.
'And gave him a place to stay for the night?' Elliot guessed.
'Ha. Well, there was more than one drink involved… It was easier if he just slept on my sofa.' Serena said. Not a lie, she thought to herself.
'I thought he looked a bit green around the gills!' Elliot smiled in amusement.
They paid for their coffees and made their way towards the lift and got in.
'I'm glad you two have sorted out your… differences.' Elliot picked up the conversation again. 'We live in uncertain times. Holby needs strong leadership. There might be matters we disagree on but I think you and Henrik could be quite a team.'
Serena glanced at Elliot in surprise but he didn't notice.
'Henrik doesn't take to everyone, but once he does… he's loyal. He takes too much upon himself though. But maybe… maybe he has come to realise that a problem shared is a problem halved, now that he has an ally in you.'
The lift reached Keller and Serena got out with a contemplative smile and nod at Elliot.
Serena walks slowly towards her office thinking about what Elliot had said.
'Aww shit.' She mutters as she feels an almost overwhelming sense of compassion, much like the one she had felt last night when she stupidly turned back to invite Hanssen for a drink. She pauses, turns on her heel and marches back to the lift.
Hanssen sits at his desk checking the time. Cunningham was due in two minutes, although the man was nearly always late. Hanssen had changed into his spare shirt and suit but he was without a tie in case anyone realised it was the same one he'd worn the day before. He wasn't sure anyone paid that much attention to his appearance but it was always the little details like that which alerted him to other people's… he couldn't think of the correct word.
There was a knock at his door before he could. Cunningham actually on time for once!
'Come…' before he finished however Serena Campbell appeared. 'Ms Campbell I'm expecting…'
'Terence has been delayed.' Serena said brusquely.
Hanssen noted the use of the Chairperson's Christian name as he watched Serena place a cup of coffee, a bagel, a bottle of water and some paracetemol on his desk. Then out of her bag she pulled a kidney dish, a razor and some shaving cream.
'Ms Campbell…'
'Given that I'm somewhat responsible for your condition this morning I feel I should make some effort to help you out.' Serena cut him off again. She handed him two pills and the water. 'Take these, eat and then shave.' She poured water into the kidney dish for him to use for shaving.
'Ms Campbell…' Hanssen paused and eyed her in confusion.
'What?' she asked.
'Oh I am allowed to finish this time am I?' he asked. Serena rolled her eyes at him. 'You didn't' have to…' he waved his hands in gesture at it all, his brain still a little slower than usual in articulating his thoughts. 'I am quite capable of taking care of myself.'
'Yes but we're a team now. I couldn't let you face Cunningham looking like death warmed up.' Serena said gently.
Hanssen simply raised an eyebrow. 'How exactly has Mr Cunningham been delayed?'
Serena made a face. 'Best not to ask.' She pushed the coffee towards him. 'Do you want me to get you a tie?'
'No, thank you.' Hanssen replied, then added with a twinkle, 'I'm too afraid of how you might go about acquiring one.'
Serena grinned. 'Pretty sure Michael keeps one in his desk drawer.'
'Dread to think what he keeps in there with it.' Hanssen mumbled whilst taking the lid of his coffee.
Serena laughed. 'I'll leave you to it then?'
Hanssen nodded and Serena made her way to the door.
'Ms Campbell'
She turned.
'Thank you.' Hanssen said without looking up.
'You're welcome.' Serena's smile lasted all the way until she got to Keller.
Chapter 6: Chapter 6
'Thank you Mr Hanssen.' Gemma gave him a bright smile, to which Hanssen responded with a slight nod.
Just as Gemma reached out to for the door handle there was a knock and it opened to reveal a slightly surprised looking Serena.
'Dr Wilde.'
'Ms Campbell.' Gemma twitched nervously. 'I'm just going back to AAU.' Gemma hurried out before Serena could utter another word.
Serena closed the door and turned to Hanssen with a questioning look.
It had been two months since Hanssen had arranged to share more of his duties with Serena. He had to admit that he had been sceptical of how this would work out, even though it had been his suggestion. After the night of Tara Lo's death, or perhaps more accurately the following day, he had seen a different side to Serena. She had helped him deal with his hangover and kept Terence Cunningham occupied until he was prepared for him. She had also attended Tara's funeral with him. And even though he would not admit it, he had been glad of the company. Even though there had been many members of staff there, Serena had been a constant presence by his side. She even brushed his hand gently as they stood and watched Tara's coffin go by.
Afterwards, when he had begun to have doubts about the decision he had rashly taken in the car,, he had wondered if perhaps it had been based on emotion rather than sense. But thinking it through again he had come to the conclusion it had been the right decision for both of them. This way they were partners as opposed to competitors. A team, as she herself had put it that day after Tara's death. The day after he had slept with her on a sofa. They had not mentioned that incident since.
'What was that about?' she asked.
Hanssen gave a mild shrug. 'Time off next week.' He answered disinterestedly.
'You agreed to it?'
Hanssen nodded and Serena rolled her eyes, suddenly looking annoyed.
'Problem?' Hanssen asked.
Serena sighed. 'You don't have a daughter do you Mr Hanssen?'
Hanssen shook his head in wary confusion. 'No.'
Serena took a seat in front of his desk. 'Parenting is hard work.' She said. 'The rows Eleanor and I have had when I have had to lay down the law. Even when it's for her own good, maybe especially when it's for her own good, all she sees is mum ruining her life again.' Serena smiled ruefully.
Hanssen wondered where on earth she was going with this.
'So Eleanor has this… system for getting around things. I think all teenage girls have it really, I know I did. When I say no, Eleanor runs to her daddy and he says - of course princess, whatever you want!'
Hanssen was completely baffled now.
'I'm afraid you've lost me Ms Campbell. What is it you're saying?'
Serena chuckled. 'I'm saying we need to work on our joint parenting skills. Communication. If children see a gap in the lines of communication their exploit it.' She sighed. 'Dr Wilde had already asked me about time off – I said no.'
It dawned on Hanssen then why Dr Wilde had seemed so nervous.
'Ah.'
'Ah indeed.' Serena quipped.
This sort of thing, Hanssen realised, could be a problem. 'We should nip this behaviour in the bud.' He said.
'Yes.' Serena nodded in agreement.
'If you had already said no, then I shall inform Dr Wilde that no it still is.' Hanssen said.
Serena looked at him in surprise.
'You don't think that's the right decision?' he asked.
'No, I do!' Serena replied quickly. 'It's just… don't you want to know why I said no?'
Hanssen shrugged. He had little interest in the rotas of AAU and had been bored with having to deal with Gemma's query in the first place. 'I am certain you had valid reasons for your decision. I do not need to know the ins and outs to be convinced of its legitimacy.'
Serena looked pleased and gave him an almost bashful smile. It was a look he had never seen from her before, it unsettled him for some reason.
'I wish my ex was more like you,' Serena said standing up. 'He never backs me up without a battle.'
'I would imagine that explains why he is your ex.' Hanssen observed.
Serena grinned. 'That and the small matter of not being able to keep it in his pants!'
Hanssen felt his cheeks begin to colour. He looked awkwardly down at his desk. Serena gave a small laugh, knowing she had embarrassed him.
'Anyway, all I came for was to pick up the latest data indicators.' She said.
Hanssen handed her the file he had on his desk.
'Perhaps we should… discuss this possible gap in communication.' Hanssen said as Serena made her way to the door. 'Make sure this arrangement is as efficient as we thought.' He said carefully before adding with a twinkle in his eyes. 'We don't want the children becoming delinquent.'
Chapter 7: Chapter 7
Serena found Hanssen in the stairwell just as he was hanging up from a phonecall. The look on his face told her he hadn't liked whatever he had been told.
'Bad news?'
'Not exactly.' He put the phone in his pocket. 'Inconvenient news.' He sighed to himself distractedly.
'Anything I can do to help?' Serena asked lightly.
Hanssen studied her for a moment. 'Could you possibly morph into being me for a few hours on Friday night?' he asked.
Serena simply raised her eyebrows.
'I have been invited to a dinner party.' He explained as though he had just been diagnosed with a terminal illness.
Serena burst into laughter. 'Oh to have your problems!' She began to ascend the stairs and Hanssen followed. 'I wish someone would invite me to a dinner party!'
'You are welcome to take my place.' He said.
'I don't think your friends would be too pleased at that!'
'They're not friends. Not exactly. Acquaintances. A former colleague.' He told her.
Sere glanced sideways at him and wondered if there was anyone in the world he did consider a friend.
'Well they must like you if they've invited you to dinner.' She said gently.
'It's a habit.'
Serena stopped on the last step.
'People don't make a habit of being around people they don't like.'
'That's presuming a habit is something that is consciously entered into.' He turned to face her.
Serena rolled her eyes, she wasn't in the mood for a ridiculous debate.
'Don't go then!' she said simply. He really was making a mountain out of a mole hill.
'I have to.' He said glumly. 'I made excuses for not attending the last one and I wasn't around for Christmas.'
'All anyoe has to do Mr Hanssen is breath, eat, sleep and sh…' she trailed off with a bold glint, 'everything else is optional.'
He gave her an amused look.
'Charles Henderson. Have you heard of him?'
Serena nodded. 'Used to be one of the main men in the NHS back in the day.'
Hanssen nodded. 'He was my consultant when I first began to practice in Britain.' He explained. 'Since his retirement he and his wife spend their time organising various tedious social events. Dinner parties, garden parties, Christmas parties, anniversaries…' Hanssen gave a bored sigh. 'His wife likes to organise and play hostess and witter on about people's personal circumstances as if they were of actual interest to anyone but the people themselves. Charles uses these occasions to keep an ear to the ground. He still has a lot of contacts and these gatherings can sometimes be quite useful for networking purposes. If one can overcome the frilliness.'
'Immerse yourself in strategic networking then and ignore the frills!' Serena smiled.
'If that were possible then I would quite happily go. Unfortunately the social' he said the word with such a look of distaste Serena almost giggled, 'aspect cannot be ignored and, I'm sure it won't come as any surprise to you that I am not at my most comfortable in these types of situations. Especially when…' he stopped and looked at the floor.
'What?' Serena prompted.
Hanssen suddenly looked like he'd had an idea. Ignoring her question he when he spoke again he said – 'These functions are a lot more your kind of thing.'
Serena looked at him warily.
They were greeted by the Henderson's with warm smiles and handshakes. Hanssen even getting a hug from Mrs Henderson, who insisted on being called Cynthia. Serena watched in amusement as Hanssen stiffly accepted the hug.
It was evident from the start that the Henderson's were very fond of Hanssen. It also became evident pretty quickly that this was just a social occasion. There were one or two of Henderson's former colleagues present but all were similarly retired and Serena deducted rather rapidly that they were not worth 'networking' with. She was surprised to discover Hanssen actually was not as uncomfortable or socially awkward as she had expected him to be given his description beforehand. He mingled quite easily with all of the other guests and was quite breezy as he introduced Serena with a slight hint of possessiveness, she had noted. His hand resting on the small of her back on several occasions and not as much emphasis on their professional relationship as she would have thought.
After dinner, and after a lot of fussing my Mrs Henderson it finally dawned on Serena that Hanssen had not brought her as a colleague to network; he had brought her as his date – and neglected to tell her!
If she were honest the thought had occurred to her that evening as she decided on what to wear. She had gone over the conversation on the stairwell again in her mind and something didn't sit right with her. But she dismissed as ridiculous the idea that Hanssen would want to spend time in her company for anything other than professional reasons and figured his reasoning would become obvious once they were there. Given the amount of time she had spent deciding on an outfit however, perhaps she had chosen to be misled and pretend that it was simply professional.
She watched Hanssen from across the room as he chatted to a couple of other guests. She didn't think she had ever seen him smile as much as he had that night. The thought caused her to smile to herself.
'Henrik said you've been at Holby over a year.' Charles's voice interrupted her thoughts as he arrived beside her.
'Yes.' Serena nodded.
'You know, when he first mentioned you, I thought – she sounds like trouble Henrik, watch yourself!'
Serena didn't know how to respond to this. 'I'm sorry. Henrik gave the impression you didn't mind me coming tonight.'
Charles chuckled. 'Oh no! I meant when he mentioned you for the first time – oh I suppose a year ago now. Of course we didn't mind him bringing you.' He smiled. 'Caught us off guard I'll admit, He's only ever brought someone once before. A former registrar. Sahira.' There was something about the way he said the name that Serena couldn't quite interpret. 'You though,' he grinned, 'You're more suited. I knew when he mentioned you that you'd got under his skin.'
Serena was surprised at this. Not necessarily that she had gotten under Hanssen's skin but that Charles hinted it had been in a positive way!
Hanssen approached them looking slightly suspicious of them being in deep conversation.
'She's a cracker Henrik – keep a hold of her!' Charles joked before patting Hanssen on the back and going to speak to another guest who was waving for his attention.
Hanssen blushed slightly and looked at the floor uncomfortably. 'Sorry, I don't know what he…'
'You could have said.' Serena told him.
He looked at her questioningly.
'That you needed a date.'
'I don't know what you mean.' He replied stiffly.
Serena rolled her eyes.
Later that night Hanssen found himself back on Serena's sofa and wondered at the wisdom of having accepted her invitation to come inside when he had dropped her home.
Having refused her offer of a nightcap, coffee or tea, he sat pretending to study a painting on her wall.
Serena sat at the other end of the sofa, slipped of her shoes with a moan and lifted one foot up to rub her soles. 'Bloody shoes.' She muttered.
Hanssen glanced at her. 'You cannot be surprised that your feet ache after spending hours in those things!' he said nodding to what he considered ridiculously high heeled shoes.
'I beg your pardon but I wore them for you!' Serena retorted.
'I don't recall asking you to!' he quipped. 'What have I got to do with what shoes you wear Ms Campbell?'
'I wore them to look taller next to you.' She said. 'I thought you might like…' Serena stopped herself and refocused her attention on her foot.
Hanssen watched her for a moment. Had she really kept him in mind when deciding what to wear, he wondered. Before he realised what he was doing, he reached out his hand and gently tugged her foot towards him, placing it on his lap and gesturing for her to raise the other similarly. He began to massaged it gently, avoiding eye contact with her.
'I suppose then if I'm to blame I should try and make some recompense.' He mumbled.
Serena was too stunned to respond.
Chapter 8: Chapter 8
Serena remained quiet and enjoyed Hanssen's attentions as she tried to get her head around things. She leaned back, closing her eyes and marvelled at the man's abilities, a soft moan escaping her lips unbeknownst to her.
Hanssen glanced shyly at her upon hearing the sigh and saw that her eyes were closed. He really had no idea what had come over him. He had only one glass of wine that evening so it certainly was not alcohol that was to blame this time. He watched her body stir and another quiet sigh escape her. The memory of lying on top of her as her body arched towards him and kissing her throat, came to him and he felt his cheeks colouring.
He had enjoyed this evening. He had enjoyed having her as his companion, even if it had been under slightly false pretences. Since their new working arrangement he had found himself seeking her opinion, or more accurately seeking her company, more and more. No, that was a lie, he told himself. It was since that night on this very same sofa that things had changed. Memories of that night had replayed in his mind and his dreams on more than one occasion since then. He had scolded himself for being so ridiculous and allowing his mind, and he feared his judgement, to be cluttered by such base yearnings. He had always prided himself on his self-control, his ability to rise above such wants, even with Sahira…
He took a deep breath, unconsciously increasing the pressure as he continued to massage Serena's foot.
Serena arched slightly and opened her eyes. 'God! I've never given your deftness of hand enough credit.' She breathed. 'I'm going to be all a flutter next time we're in theatre as I watch and imagine all the other wonderful things you could be doing with those magical hands!'
She grinned at Hanssen's slightly mortified expression. He focused his full attention on her foot and Serena continued to watch him carefully.
He was too discomfited, she thought, for this to be a seduction attempt. But then again, what other motive could the man have for his actions? It was hardly normal behaviour.
'I'm confused.' She said eventually.
Hanssen glanced briefly at her, simply saying 'Oh?'
'What exactly has all this been in aid of?' There was no point in beating about the bush, she figured.
'You said your feet were aching and it was my fault.' He answered.
Serena rolled her eyes in exasperation. 'Don't play dim Mr Hanssen, it doesn't suit you!'
Mr Hanssen, he noted. He turned to look at her properly.
'The dinner party. This.' She tilted her head. 'Why?'
Hanssen's eyes darted around the room a little as he gathered his thoughts. He shrugged, intending to keep it as simple as possible, a difficult task seeing as he wasn't quite sure himself.
'The dinner party – I needed a companion.' He hated admitting this. 'Charles let slip that Cynthia was intent on another matchmaking attempt. If I went alone I would have been subjected to a night of inane chatter with some sad divorcee that Cynthia has picked up as a new project.'
'So instead you brought your own sad divorcee.' Serena said in a clipped tone.
'No!' he said hurriedly. 'I brought a colleague whose company I… don't abhor.'
'How flattering.' Said Serena dryly. 'And this…' she gestured to the way he was still holding her foot.
'You helped me out, so…' he shrugged again. This part he really couldn't properly explain. 'We did recently agree on trying to act in a mutually beneficial manner, did we not?'
'We did.' Serena nodded. 'I mistakenly thought that applied solely to professional matters.' Her eyes twinkled. She wasn't buying this excuse for a minute. 'But if you're saying this 'tit for tat' relationship extends beyond the parameters of the hospital… I'm sure I think of many other ways in which we could help each other out.'
Hanssen swallowed. He had a feeling he might just have opened a tin of worms. 'Well, within reason, of course.' He told her.
Serena smiled.
'Do you think… you might be, needing… companionship again anytime soon?' Serena spoke slowly and readjusted her foot in his lap.
'I d… don't know.' Hanssen's attention was drawn to her moving foot. He gripped it more firmly to prevent her from moving too much closer to his groin.
Serena watched him in silent contemplation for a moment. She still wasn't sure what to make of all this. Surely he would have made his excuses and left by now if he was not interested in taking things further?
'I enjoyed tonight.' She said suddenly.
'As did I.'
Was that relief on his face, she wondered. 'I wouldn't mind, if you… we, did more things like that together.' She hoped she wasn't making a complete fool of herself with this. 'There is no reason why a mutually helpful relationship can't extend beyond work.' She ventured. 'I mean, who understands better than either of us what the other has to deal with. We don't always necessarily have the time to find dates or… make arrangements for… private needs. Don't you think?'
She held her breath waiting for his response. She noticed his hand had begun to stroke her ankle.
'Yes.' He whispered. 'I quite agree.'
Serena gently moved along the sofa, bringing herself closer to him and extending her legs across his lap.
'I'm glad you agree.' She smiled and brought her hand to his cheek softly as she leaned towards him.
Hanssen felt her lips brush his and felt the familiar rush of desire that had swept through him that first night on the sofa and in his dreams since then. He began to push her backwards when she halted him.
'This might go better if we try it on a bed this time!' she said. She hopped up and took him by the hand.
At the bottom of the stairs Hanssen hesitated. Perhaps they were rushing things. Jumping into bed before they had given any proper thought to how this was going to work – or not work as the case may be, would surely lead to problems.
Serena, standing on the first step, stopped and turned back.
'Are you sure about this?' he asked worriedly.
Serena guessed he was thinking back to last time when she had frozen and put a stop to it all. He had been so sweet. She stroked his cheek.
'I'm sure.' She insisted. 'Last time… we were drunk and we rushed it. But since then, we've learned more about each other – we've learned to complement each other.' She smiled. 'This time we both know exactly what we're getting into.'
She gave his hand another tug. He was glad she seemed so certain of what they were getting into because he wasn't so sure. This was not the same as having the ability to second guess each other in a board meeting. But when she brushed her lips against his again, he found that right then and there he didn't care if it all turned out to be a disaster!
He awoke the following morning feeling reinvigorated. Thoughts of the night before rushed to his memory. He smiled and turned to his left whilst reaching out a hand expecting to come into contact with the warmth of Serena. Instead he realised he was alone.
He sat up quickly glancing around the room and checking the time on the bedside clock.
8.30am
For a moment he panicked then realised it was Saturday, he was not late for work.
He noticed his clothes had been folded neatly on a chair. They certainly had not been like that when they were hurriedly discarded last night, he thought. He listened carefully for any sounds that might give away where Serena had got to, but everything was quiet.
He gingerly and self-consciously got out of bed and walked across the room to his clothes, hoping Serena did not walk in. Despite the activities of the night before, he didn't quite feel confident enough to be seen standing in the middle of the room, completely naked.
After getting dressed he tentatively opened the bedroom door and peered out. He still couldn't hear anything. She wouldn't have left the house, would she?
He began to make his way downstairs, as he did so he heard faint noises coming from where he believed the kitchen to be. As he reached the bottom step, however, he heard creak from above.
'Ah. It's you.'
Hanssen glanced sharply towards the top of the stairs to find Eleanor standing there, her mobile phone in her hand and a smirk on her face.
'Uh, good morning.' Hanssen replied stiffly.
'Who are you talking to?' Serena emerged from the kitchen with a questioning look.
Hanssen simply nodded towards Eleanor who grinned at her mother's surprise.
'I thought you were staying with Gabby. When did you get home?' Serena asked.
'Change of plan.' Eleanor replied. 'I got home last night.'
She smugly observed Serena and Hanssen exchange an uncomfortable glance.
'I guessed you hadn't heard me come in.' Eleanor gave them a wicked look.
Serena could feel her cheeks getting warm and glanced at Hanssen who looked like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole.
'I'm going back to bed. I only got up to see who it was.' Eleanor said. She waved her phone. 'And I've kept Gabby on the line!' she laughed. They could faintly hear a voice shouting Eleanor's name from the phone. 'Yea, gimme a minute!' Eleanor lazily replied to Gabby's obvious complaining. She held the phone away from her ear. 'Nice to see you again Henrik.' She grinned.
'It's Mr…' Serena began to correct her.
'What? No, mum's boyfriend!' Eleanor began speaking into the phone again.
Hanssen raised his eyebrows at being referred to as Serena's "boyfriend".
'It's Mr Hanssen to you!' Serena barked. 'And he is not my boyfriend!'
Hanssen wondered at the vehemence in her tone. Eleanor wasn't listening anymore and disappeared back into her room. Serena sighed.
Hanssen smiled nervously at her. 'Good morning.' He said brightly.
'Good morning.' Serena gave him a half-smile in return. 'Sorry about…' she nodded upstairs. 'I'm sure you weren't expecting to have to deal with an irritating teenager first thing in the morning.'
'I wouldn't describe her as irritating.' Hanssen said. 'And new experiences are always good.' Making light of it in the hope that Serena wouldn't feel bad. He pushed aside the dreadful thought that Eleanor had heard them last night. Serena had been more vocal than he would have imagined and spurred on by her enthusiasm he himself had probably been more expressive than he normally would.
Serena gave him another half-smile. 'Would you like a coffee? Or are you in a hurry?'
'Uh… well I,' Hanssen checked his watch. He had nowhere to be, he knew that but there was something in Serena's tone. He couldn't tell if she wanted him to leave or not.
'You probably have a million things to do.' She said.
Hanssen looked at her and nodded. She was on edge, he realised. Perhaps it was because Eleanor was home.
'Yes. I should get going.' He looked around and spotted his car keys on the table by the door where he had left them last night. He went to pick them up and Serena followed, opening the door for him.
He wasn't sure what to do, how to say goodbye and hovered uncertainly in the doorway.
'I…' he paused, forcing another smile. 'Last night was…'
'Yes.' Serena nodded, her eyes darting around nervously and she glanced back towards the stairs again.
'I'll…' Hanssen began.
'See you Monday.' Serena said and rested her hand on the door.
'Right.' Hanssen nodded. He leaned slowly towards her and kissed her cheek gently. Her eyes closed for a moment.
Hanssen made his way to the car, unsure of whether he should feel elated or worried.