Traces of Bitterness
Summary: Go on, kill me now. Drabble- Jiraiya, Tsunade.
Warning: This one is twisted. Challenge. Rated T for adult situation, angst and double and triple angst.
Set: Pre-original.
Disclaimer: Standards apply.
"Go on," Tsunade hisses through clenched teeth. "Kill me now."
Jiraiya sits at her side, his bulky figure blotting out the light. The ground is cold, so cold, it is draining all the warmth and energy she has left from her quickly. Her legs and arms feel heavy. Her body's numb.
"What?" She mocks him. "Don't have the guts, do you."
Perhaps, if she pushes him just far enough, he will do what she wants him to do.
"No, Princess," he tells her. "I cannot kill you. And I won't."
Closing her eyes, Tsunade listens to the rain. It is cold and wet on her face. Jiraiya does not shield her from it.
"I never tagged you as cruel before."
"Neither did I."
Both of them know she does not mean the rain. Both of them listen. Tsunade does not care that she is wet and hurt and weak. She won't die today, she knows, because her wounds are not deep enough and because Jiraiya is there to stop her when she tries and because she is a coward, anyway. Can't even stand the sight of blood, great medic that she is. The rain runs down her face, into her hair, down her sides and into the wet, hard earth. She desperately wishes it was her blood; leaving her for good, draining her of her life. She wants to die – what is there that would be worth living for, anyway? Her grandfather is dead, her brother is dead, her lover is dead, her best friends are dead. They were a team of three once, in the beginning, JiraiyaTsunadeOrochimaru, until one of them ran off and one of them closed up. Dan held her when she cried about her lost childhood friends. Now, Dan is gone, and she knows there is nobody to put her together again this time.
The shadows in front of her closed eyes grow darker and she opens her eyes again. Jiraiya is leaning over her, his face very close. Water runs down his cheeks, drips onto her lips. She licks the droplets off. They are salty.
"He would not have wanted it."
"Fuck you," she answers. How dare he tell her what Dan…
She grabs his face and pulls him down. Her lips connect with his almost painfully, she caught him off guard and it takes everything he has to regain his balance. Her legs lash out as she kicks away his; he lands on her with a groan which she swallows with her mouth and an impact that knocks the rest of air from her lungs. He tastes foreign, feels foreign, his hair is softer than she imagined, his muscled body presses against hers in a different way, his lips are cold and unyielding. Tsunade kisses him until she cannot breathe, and then a bit further, and somewhere along the way her hands are tangled in his hair, her hands search patches of naked skin under his shirt, her legs wrap around him and press herself closer.
The rain pounds down relentlessly.
Dan, she thinks and kisses Jiraiya, Dan, Dan, Dan… The coldness of sky and earth is replaced by something else, something even more desperate. She kisses Jiraiya who is warm and solid and alive and oh God, Dan. Jiraiya does not react although she can feel his racing heartbeat. There is no pleasure in this and yet she clings to him with a desperation bordering on madness. There is still salt on his lips.
Perhaps, she thinks, he will kill her now.